by Holly Hook
“Yeah.” I'm curious. I hate not knowing about the girl from the future. "What happened to Arnelia?"
“Frank and Isabel sent her back. Beyond that, I don’t know. I was late tonight because I was busy trying to convince Frank that you do in fact belong with us. Time chose you. Maybe it was impressed with what you did to trick it. I am. Frank still doesn't believe that.” His voice takes an angry undertone and I imagine him socking Frank in the face again. "I'll never understand that guy."
"Me, neither." There's a part of me that's relieved that Arnelia merely got sent home, even if she did hit me with some stun prism from the future. Am I ever going to get to talk to her again? Will she even still remember me if I go and find her?
But what if she wanted to tell me that she's going to stop me from saving my family and changing history? The fact that she stunned me seems very suspicious, like she regards me as some kind of dangerous animal.
Maybe I can't take the chance of going and finding her yet, at least not in her own time. What if in the future, there's a way for Arnelia to make me mortal again? Could that be her plan, to lure me there and turn me back? Frank could kill me if I return to normal. Perhaps that nightmare was some future memory screaming at me, warning me. I'm Timeless now. There's no reason my memory can't span multiple times.
“Simon?”
He hugs me from the side and pulls me close. He’s warm and safe. “Yes?”
“Can we die? Become mortal again? Have any of the Travelers managed to do that to us? It's just that...I was mortal in my dream, and these future people seem pretty good at fighting back against us."
“Of…of course not!” He looks at me, eyes huge. “No member of the Timeless has ever died. The worst that happens is that we get sent to stay trapped in our quarters for a while if we mess something up. That’s all. Thankfully, we were able to avoid that today.”
"No thanks to me." Simon's answer isn't easing the doubt inside.
“Julia, you’re only starting out. Things will get better.” Simon kisses me on the temple. The electric feel of his lips remain on my skin even when he pulls away. “We all make mistakes at first. There’s no way you could have known about the Para-X. Even if you did, it was a freak chance that Arnelia figured out how to use it on you when she shouldn't have remembered.”
“The what?” Now it’s my turn to be confused. It sounds like some hang glider brand name or something.
“The glass thing she was holding. It’s a common weapon from Arnelia’s time period. Basically, it shuts down part of your nervous system for a few minutes. That’s why you couldn’t move or speak. The police invented it in the late four thousands after people got tired of them using deadly force on unarmed people. I’m not sure how Arnelia could have gotten one or how she got access to the Rift Room. The place is heavily guarded. She must know one of the scientists who was working on the project. This is the first time I've seen her at all.”
Simon lies down on his back, flopping down on my bed. I join him and lay my head on his outstretched arm. Rift Room. This must be the people Simon told me about once that achieved time travel in the future, but due to Time erasing their memories of even traveling in the first place, they never knew it even succeeded.
But--
“She knew me. Arnelia knew my name.”
Simon blinks and looks at me. He’s so soft, his thick eyebrows so perfect in the moonlight. “That’s impossible.”
“Well, she was talking to Monica about me.”
“Maybe Monica told her about you."
“Somehow, I don't think so." The thought hadn't crossed my mind, but that still doesn't explain why she sought out Monica in the first place. "I'll ask Monica about it tomorrow."
“Let me know what she says.” Simon yawns and looks at the ceiling.
I have to bring up the big thing again. “When are we going back after my father and my brother?”
“Soon,” he says, closing his eyes. “I just need...just need to figure out a way.”
And then he’s out, drifting away.
I lay there, staring at the ceiling while the clock switches over to midnight. I try to make out patterns in the bumpy white of it, but nothing comes into focus. Not my father. Not my brother. Not even Frank or Isabel.
Why won’t Simon just come up with a plan to go back and rescue my family already? The weeks are dragging out. He’s told me nothing else. Simon should at least be trying to come up with a plan by now. It can’t be too difficult to find the door that leads back to 1912, to that night.
To 11:39.
But Frank…
He can’t kill me. I can’t die. There’s nothing I have to worry about so long as I stay immortal. I can't know if Arnelia is on my side or not.
The ache creeps back into my chest. Can I be sure?
I slowly get up from the bed. Simon keeps breathing deep. He murmurs something, shifts like he’s reaching for me, and settles down again. What’s he dreaming about? A way to get my family safely off the Titanic?
It's unlike him to be so mild, so complacent about this. I know we have to find a way to keep my father and brother safe from getting sent back to the Titanic after we rescue them, but we should be working up a plan for that now. Something. Anything.
I'm not going to sit on this anymore, waiting on him.
There’s no way I can leave my father. My little brother, who I swore to protect. I have to go and at least find the doorway to the Titanic again. I'm not sure how, since all the rifts in the Hub look the same, but I have to start somewhere. Then I can decide what I’m going to do next.
Nothing can hurt me. I’m not mortal like I was in my nightmare.
I’m going to find that rift by the football field again.
Chapter Six
It’s not that hard to slip out of the house. I’m shaking, but that’s because I know I have to hurry. Rifts last anywhere from a few minutes to a few days. The one by the football field could be dissipating for all I know. There must be more around, but I’m not going to have much time to find another one.
I close the front door on Nancy’s snores and lock it. The street’s empty, with only yellow lights casting a glow. It’s a pretty warm night, at least, miles from the dark, rainy one where I arrived on Nancy’s doorstep.
School’s only a mile away. I keep to the curb while I jog, grateful that I went to bed in my regular clothes earlier. Crickets chirp and a lone car crosses the intersection up ahead. I keep pace, breathing even. No ache creeps into my sides. I could jog like this all night. Maybe being Timeless has some cool benefits after all. I should try out for the track team after I get my brother and father safely away from the sinking.
The school’s coming up. I hope there aren’t any police hanging around this time of night. I’ll have a hard time explaining to them what I’m doing out here.
A cat runs across the street and disappears into the shrubs. Other than that, it’s all clear except for one light on in a house across the street, a white lamp in someone’s window. I jog down the main driveway of the school and towards the football field in the back.
I stop and squint. My heart falls until I see a faint gold swishing motion out by the bleachers. The rift is still there, fainter and weaker. I can barely make it out now. It fades and I have to focus to find it again. It's almost gone. Simon was right to have us both hurry out of class this afternoon. They don’t last long after all.
I have to get over this fence now. By myself.
My jeans snag on the chain-link, but I manage to climb over and stumble down onto the grass of the field. I dart for the rift, which wavers and fades away completely, then sputters back. The gold curtains swish faster like they’re urging me closer, begging me to hurry. My hair stands on end.
I enter the rift. It moves around me like some dying aurora, wrapping around my skin and—
I’m falling. The universe snaps to gold and I’m plunging through glitter and screaming light. I hold my breath. It can’t last long. It’s e
ven worse than the time Simon was with me. I have nothing to hold onto. I’m on my own here.
And then, I land.
I’m in the Main Chamber again, surrounded by light and open space. I'm in a squat, shaking. The sound of my hitting the floor flies away, then echoes back at me several seconds later. I straighten and take a breath. Turn. Study all the tiny, distant exits to this place, seemingly miles away. There isn’t another soul here. Is it always this empty? Being late at night shouldn’t matter. Time doesn’t even move here. I'm standing in the body of Time itself, which must span across the whole universe.
The corridors all stretch out in front of me, infinite and huge. If I peek out of the corner of my eye, I can see stars shining through the crystal that makes up the floor. I feel tiny, like a speck of dust floating through all existence and not some immortal that has the job of keeping Time in order.
Which way do I go? Dozens, maybe hundreds, of corridors branch off from here. Getting from one side of the Main Chamber to the other is like walking across a whole town. Simon and I have walked through here lots of times. I’ve never seen any rhyme or reason to the way they’re ordered. You can find all times and places just down one hallway alone.
For the first time, I realize what a daunting task I have.
I must find 1912 in the millions, maybe billions, of rifts that are here.
I close my eyes and try to focus. There has to be some way other than those plaques over the gateways. Some innate ability I should have now that will lead me to the right place. I feel incredibly stupid standing here in the middle of this vastness, eyes closed like I’m trying to conjure something into existence.
Nothing comes. I keep staring into the darkness behind my eyelids. Maybe I don’t have an ability to locate any time I want after all.
“Confusing, isn’t it?”
I jump and open my eyes and my heart leaps like someone’s hit me in the face.
It’s Isabel, standing in the middle of the room like she’s just arrived. Which I realize, she probably has.
“What are you doing here?” I ask before I can think. I know it’s rude, but the shock hasn’t worn off. I scan the room for Frank, but he’s a no-show. I let out a breath. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bite your head off.”
Isabel smiles. There’s no trace of Frank’s evil there, no trace of his plans to murder me. “I didn’t mean to scare you, Julia. I figured you would show up here sooner or later. Without Simon, that is. You have to be impatient about getting your family back. I would be.”
“Without Simon?” How much does she know about how he’s dragging his feet? Maybe they’ve been talking. Isabel, at least, seems to be on our side even though she helped to send me back to 1912. She’s the one who told Frank that Time was claiming me, to leave me alone. She defended me yesterday when they were talking here in the Chamber.
“Yes,” she says. She’s not smiling now. “Without Simon.”
My stomach coils, and I’m not entirely sure why. “So you know he’s taking forever to work out a plan.” I don't know if I can trust her. “Are you here to stop me? I get it. Time doesn’t want things screwed up and you have to do your job. And my family surviving the sinking of the Titanic would end the world, wouldn’t it? My dad and my brother were meant to die. Isn’t that the only reason my little brother was born? Do you have any idea what it’s like to watch the icy Atlantic take away and drown your five-year-old brother while he’s screaming for your help?”
I hiccup. My eyes are wet. I look down at the crystal floor and through it to the stars beyond. I’m bursting into tears right in front of Isabel and I don’t care. All I care about it seeing my family safe again and being in Simon’s arms and starting a new life together. That’s all I want.
“Julia, who said I was going to stop you?” She still pronounces her w's like v's.
I hiccup again. “Huh?”
“Look up,” Isabel says.
I do. She’s sad. Sorry. I don't know whether that makes me feel better or worse.
“I didn’t want to send you back to 1912,” she says. “It was a rotten assignment for me. I hated every moment of it. But we can’t refuse our assignments. Simon probably told you what happens if we do.”
“We get stuck in our quarters,” I say, speaking over the lump in my throat. I’m listening. Isabel’s got me on a line and she’s reeling in.
“Stuck with our worst memories,” Isabel says. “We’re all from tragedies, Julia. All of us Timeless…we should be dead. Frank was assigned to you because you were a very difficult case, a very sad case, and Time knew he would do his duty no matter what. He always does. Most of us couldn’t stomach sending a person back to a tragedy. It’s rare, but it happens.”
A difficult case. I’m always a case. “So why were you assigned to me?”
She ignores my question. “I was hoping you would escape,” Isabel says. “And you did. That’s why I told you what your necklace meant back in the restaurant. It must have helped to restore your memory when you were back on the Titanic. I know that’s what Simon was aiming for.”
I look down at the coal necklace that still hangs from my neck. The black flecks inside the gold teardrop tumble around each other, shining weakly in the light. “Um…thanks? And you've been talking to Simon?" I'm not mad at her. Only curious.
Isabel nods. “Follow me.”
She turns away and heads towards one of the corridors on the left, a random one that I probably wouldn’t have chosen or looked at twice out of all the others. Is she going to lead me right to the gateway I need? She’d know where it is since she’s dealt with me before.
I have no other choice. I have no idea where to go. And besides, I don’t think Isabel wants to hurt me. She can’t hurt me. And why hasn't Simon at least showed me where the Titanic rift is? Is he afraid I'll rush into things if I find it?
We enter the hallway and rifts stretch into infinity on both sides of us. Isabel’s silent as we walk. I stare at each rift as we pass, wondering what's behind each one. There’s so many times. So many places. How is anyone supposed to remember where anything is here? All I can remember is the gateway back to Trenton, which I know is four hallways over from this one.
I hope he doesn’t wake up and find me gone. I’m doing the exact thing that’s going to worry him.
“Isabel,” I ask. “How do you remember where to go?”
She looks at me and her blond hair swings out of her face. “Once you use a gateway, you know where it is forever,” she says. “You’ll only remember how to get to the ones you’ve used before. If the Timeless knew all of the gateways that are here, it would make our brains explode. Not literally, of course.” She smiles again and it makes me feel a whole lot better.
“Then how come I don’t remember where the one to the Titanic is?”
“Because you only came through it as a mortal,” she says. "That doesn't count."
“I believe it.” I know what I'll do. I'll go through to 1912 and come right back out again, just so I can get the memory of where that rift is for later. I can’t save my brother and father until I have a good plan for hiding them or at least getting them on a lifeboat. Simon’s right about one thing. I don’t want to risk pulling them through at the moment Simon and I fell off the ship. I was barely able to save myself. But at least I’m finally on my way to saving them.
“We’re almost there,” Isabel says. “Oh, it’s here.”
She stops and my heart leaps. This rift seems like all the others. It's just another archway filled with gold, swishing curtains.
“Is this really the one?” I ask. I have to make sure Isabel's not lying. Of course, I can't prove she's truthful until I go in for myself and see.
“I'm positive.”
My heart feels like it’s ripping apart. My chest hurts. This rift doesn’t do my brother or my father justice, either, or any of the others. There's nothing special about it. It's just one among billions here, tucked into a neat little row A streak of rage tears thro
ugh me and I hit the crystal wall next to it so hard that pain shoots up my fist and into my arm.
Isabel backs away like she’s respecting my moment of anger.
“I know. I know. It’s awful,” she says. “It’s terrible, staring at your rift and knowing your family is on the other side.”
She speaks from somewhere deep. Somewhere that’s hurting.
I face her again. I breathe deep, taming the monster in me. “Is there a rift on the ship? One my father and my brother can come through?”
“No,” Isabel says. “The only ones on the ship are the two we Timeless opened there. Like the one Frank tried to pull Simon through, and the one we pulled you out of.”
“Then the only way to save my family is to either get them on a lifeboat or stop the ship from sinking.”
She nods. “Exactly. Well, you could get your brother on one, but your father would be another matter.”
“And you don’t want to stop me? You don't want to keep Time in order here?”
She doesn’t say anything to that. Instead, she nods at the archway.
Then I realize.
She’s waiting for me to go through.
My heart’s pounding. I’m not ready to do this, but every inch of me wants to leap through that archway, go below decks and wrap my arms around Melvin and drag him up to the lifeboats and put him in. I want my father to tell me that life will be all right, that we will have that new life after all. And since I’m Timeless now, I won’t lose my memory when I go through this time. I’ll be able to save them. But what about my past self? She’ll waste time looking for Melvin and my father. Things might work out different, and she might not get Simon’s blood on her forehead. I’ll have to make sure that my past self is marked with Simon’s blood, so that I don’t screw things up further and die all over again.
And at what point in the sinking will I end up when I go through? Before the ship hits the iceberg? After? At the moment the ship breaks in half? The thought of enduring the sinking a second time is too much to bear.
There are too many ifs.
