Heroes of Last Resort (The Other Guys Book 1)

by JK Galioto

  You killed a level 2 goblin. You receive 61 experience points.

  Congratulations, you have attained level 2 in the Rogue class. You gain 6 health, 6 stamina, and 1 spell point. You have 2 attribute points to assign, 2 skill points to assign, and must choose a class perk.

  You gain 2 points in stealth and 1 point in small blades, dual wield, and light armor.

  You have learned the unarmed combat skill. You gain a +16 bonus to this skill based on prior experience.

  You have obtained beginner rank in unarmed combat and may choose one of the following perks:

  Fists of Stone 1: The bones in your fists become dense as stone, reducing the chance to break the bones in your hands by 100%. Damage of punches from your fists increases by 50%.

  Grappler 1: Your ability to initiate a grapple and escape a grapple is improved by 50%.

  Unarmed Riposte 1: You are able to make an immediate counterattack when you successfully dodge an unarmed attack.

  Jack’s time spent in the Tae Kwan Do studio was paying dividends. He selected Fists of Stone 1, mainly because he couldn’t imagine having to deal with a broken hand. He continued with his notifications.

  You have learned the rope use skill. You gain a +11 bonus to this skill based on prior experience.

  You have obtained beginner rank in rope use and may choose one of the following perks:

  Inescapable Knots 1: You are able to tie more knots that are hard to deconstruct. +25% effectiveness when using knots to tie up a creature.

  Lasso 1: You can tie the rope into a lasso and use it to snag creatures or objects. +25% chance of hitting the target you are aiming for.

  While working on Lake Superior for a summer as a tour guide, he’d learned a number of sailor’s knots. That, in addition to his scout training, was enough to propel him into beginner rank. He hoped he would be killing less and capturing more in the future, so he decided on Inescapable Knots 1.

  He decided to assign his points from gaining a level in Rogue and take stock before making his next move. Vitality was his only below average stat, and he sank both attribute points into it, bringing it up to average rank. He noticed the two points also gave him a corresponding two-point bump in both health and stamina. He saved his skill points, unsure of where to spend them. He pulled up his last notification, finding a list of level two Rogue perks to choose from. There were perks that allowed him to quickly draw his weapons, dodge more effectively, learn a secret thieves’ language, and reduce falling damage. He decided against those and reviewed the rest.

  Thrust: Dash up to 10 feet forward and make a piercing attack with an increased chance of hitting. Can be used every 15 seconds. Stamina cost: 5.

  Dance of Blades: When dual-wielding two melee weapons, can go into a blade dance, causing opponents to make an intimidate check or be cowed, significantly decreasing their ability to block or parry for 30 seconds. Also looks very cool. Can only be used once per battle. Stamina cost: 12.

  Pausing a moment to imagine himself dancing bladed death to his enemies, he wondered what kind of dance it would be. Slow dancing was probably out of the question; the lambada would be a better choice, but a little too close quarters for his taste. Finally, he decided to himself that the fullest expression of sword fighting through dance would be breakdancing. Imagining himself windmilling and head spinning his way to victory, he finished checking out the rest of the list.

  Sense Danger: Passive skill granting the ability to sense an incoming attack. This skill greatly reduces the chance of backstab or other stealth attacks working on you. Stamina cost when activated: 5.

  Linguistics: Special. Your natural aptitude for learning via Knows No Shame allows you to access the Linguistics perk. This perk gives you the ability to learn the basics of any language very quickly.

  Jack mentally reviewed the list which, like most of his skills, included further upgrades branching off most of the perks. Thanks for the wall of text, Alexa!

  Alexa was quick to respond. “You’re welcome, Jack!”

  Hmm, not so literal, Alexa. We’re going to have to work on that. He would have a chat with her later.

  Each of the perks seemed like a great choice. He could see Linguistics as being incredibly useful; he eventually wanted to create alliances and friendships with the natives of this world, and speaking their language would be a must. Based on the rough goblin language he’d heard, not everyone would speak a version of English.

  He also needed to be more effective in combat, at least until he was able to bring his friends into this world. Several perks would be helpful in that regard. He decided to choose Sense Danger. Having that perk earlier could have potentially saved his life. Besides, he liked the idea of having a spidey sense that alerted him to unseen dangers.

  Reviewing his character sheet, he was pleased with his progress. By his reckoning, he had only been on Rigara for a couple of days and, besides dying a horrible death, he’d made some great strides. Although, I guess dying is a huge caveat. His hand went unbidden to his stomach, again reliving the unhappy memory of being stabbed repeatedly. He mentally asked Alexa to hide the heritage and background bonuses; he didn’t need to see them every time he wanted to check his progress. It was getting cold, evidenced by his boys, Leonardo and Donatello, shyly tucking into their half-shells. Speaking of which, he realized he would be facing that murderous dagger-wielding goblin with his dangly bits flapping about. He shuddered involuntarily and ultimately realized it probably couldn’t be avoided. He began his journey back toward the goblin cave.

  Chapter 11

  Jack hiked for nearly eight hours before he once again reached the edge of the clearing facing the cave. His thoughts centered around Liam and hoping he was still alive. He disliked hiking already, and nude hiking was up there with being staked to an anthill covered in maple syrup. There was a lot of jostling and he was on constant watch for thorns, briars, twigs, or anything else that could neuter him. His luck continued and he avoided further encounters along the way. With his debuffs expired, he was nearly back to full power, with full power being an out-of-shape level two Rogue man-child. He now knew how John McClane felt in Die Hard; his feet were a bloody mess after walking through trails of sharp rocks and hard, poky sticks.

  He sat down in the clearing with his back to a large tree and began applying some of the healing moss he’d found along the way to the bottoms of his feet. The moss closed the numerous cuts and gashes, leaving only a few scabs and providing immediate pain relief. Aloe vera has nothing on this stuff.

  On the hike back to the cave, he had found two solid oak branches that he planned to use as rough fighting batons, which, given the poor quality of his shortsword and dagger, might not be that much of a downgrade. While he had never trained in fighting with baton-type weapons, he had played baseball in school and hoped some of that knowledge would overlap.

  Naked, cold, tired, hungry, and sore from all the hiking, the last thing he wanted to do was go and fight more goblins. But there was a chance that the halfling had survived, and with some luck he could save him. Besides, he needed his weapons, armor, and other equipment. No way would he let those d-bag goblins keep his adventuring backpack! However, he would go into this battle without a survival token; this death would be final. “Only the good die young,” the bard sang, and no one had ever accused Jack of being good at much of anything. But if he couldn’t manage to cull a goblin or two, both worlds were doomed.

  Standing up, he surveyed his surroundings. It was nighttime, with the only light provided by the crescent-shaped dual moons above; a red pale light reflected off one moon, while its twin provided a more traditional silvery light. The twin moons served to remind Jack that he was on an alien world with a new set of rules; it was too easy to slip into the mindset that he was still in the woods of Wisconsin. However much the strange moonlight made him long for his home, it was plenty to see by when using Darkvision.

  He began creeping closer, using the same route as before until he stopped w
ithin a few feet of the cavern entrance. Breathing slowly for a few heartbeats, he listened intently for any signs of movement from within. After a minute of hearing nothing and again cursing himself for not taking Improved Senses, he slowly made his way into the cavern, clinging to the cave wall and using shadows from every nook and cranny—compliments of the pale moons outside—as cover.

  Moving with agonizing slowness, he crept closer to where the halfling had been bound and gagged, pausing to look for goblins or other hidden creatures. Up ahead, he saw the outline of Dingesklys, the goblin from earlier, sitting with its back to the cavern wall. It wore Jack’s armor, although it was multiple sizes too big for it, and it reminded Jack of a child wearing his parent’s clothes because “he was a big kid now!” The goblin held a thigh bone and was using its sharp teeth to dig for the marrow within. Jack didn’t see any signs of Liam or his dead body and started to guess at where the thigh bone had come from.

  A red notification appeared in his vision.

  Quest Alert: “Halfling Rescue.” You failed to rescue the halfling, Liam, from his captors. Note: Quest failures may have dire consequences. Each failed quest increases your chance to receive negative conditions. These include and are not limited to the loss of experience, stats, perks, and reputation.

  Alexa chimed in, much too pleasantly for Jack’s taste, “Congratulations, Jack. You successfully mitigated the negative aspect of this quest failure. Avoidance of quest penalties is calculated based on quest difficulty, character level, the luck attribute, and other situational modifiers.”

  Jack, who was typically slow to anger, now boiled over in rage. He couldn’t care less about penalties this system did or did not give to him for failing his quest. No; he was angry because he had been too slow, and Liam died because of it. This goblin needed to be put down like the rabid dog it was. Unlike when he’d watched Old Yeller, there would be no tears.

  He cautiously moved closer to Dingesklys, who remained fixated on eking out every drop of marrow in the gnawed bone. Jack was nearly in melee range when he stepped awkwardly on a bone, making a loud cracking sound.

  “Of course,” he sighed, launching himself at the goblin. The goblin, alerted by the noise, jumped up and brought the thigh bone around in a vicious swing at Jack’s head. Jack used the oak stick in his left hand to block the bone. The impact sent vibrations through his arm and into his shoulder, nearly causing him to drop his stick. He swung the stick in his right hand and heard a satisfying thwack as it impacted the goblin’s unprotected head.

  The goblin staggered and fell down to the ground, dazed. Jack didn’t hesitate; he stepped over the goblin and delivered strike after strike, venting his anger and frustration out on this evil creature. “How could you!” he screamed, tears rolling down his face, the goblin a blurry mess beneath him. A strong tingling sensation in the frontal lobe area of his brain startled him out of his berserker rage, and he immediately dropped down to the ground. He felt, more than heard, a weapon pass above him, cutting a few hairs off his head.

  Rolling quickly to the side, he nearly avoided a second dagger strike from a new goblin, but he wasn’t quick enough. Happy that he had someone else to fight, he welcomed the pain as a rusty, tetanus-delivering dagger opened a long shallow gash on his right arm. He kicked up at the goblin with both feet, catching the small creature under the ribs, sending it flying, and buying him enough time to stand up and ready his weapons.

  “Let’s dance, pretty boy,” Jack muttered angrily, cracking his neck to the left and right. The orange-haired goblin was happy to oblige and rushed back in, his dagger leading the charge. Jack batted the dagger aside with one of his sticks, the other swinging for the goblin’s head. The goblin deftly leaned its head back, and the oaken branch whistled past.

  Strike one. He pulled both of his sticks back defensively. The goblin pushed forward again, feinting high with his dagger before plunging it toward Jack’s very visible pendulating manhood. He fell for the feint, sending one stick high to block where he thought the dagger would be, while his other stick landed a solid blow on the goblin’s offhand shoulder. He heard the goblin’s bone snap as Jack turned his hips at the last second so the dagger would plunge into his right hip instead of his bait and tackle. He spared a glance at his hit point total and saw he was down to twelve.

  With a roar, he lined up the goblin like the world’s biggest baseball, sidestepping and swinging with both weapons. Instinctively summoning his baseball knowledge, he transferred weight from one leg to the other and connected solidly with the goblin, sending it flying. “Home run!” Jack yelled, arm extended and already forming a fist when he noticed the goblin’s dagger sticking out of his stomach. The goblin didn’t seem to be moving from where it had crashed, so he put his hand around the dagger, trying to staunch the bleeding, and moved toward his adventurer’s backpack, which lay beside the first goblin. Fumbling with the opening, he retrieved the healing moss and began applying it to his stomach wound while he removed the dagger. Letting out a scream of pain, he blessedly passed out.

  Chapter 12

  When he woke a few minutes later, still groggy from his foray into unconsciousness, he noticed his stomach wound was no longer bleeding. He applied the remaining moss to his thigh wound, the more serious of his two remaining injuries. The cut on his arm was painful but didn’t interfere with its movement. Reviewing his health, he saw he was at twelve of twenty-three; the multiple applications of moss must have healed him from what had to be close to zero. Standing up, he moved to check on the goblin he had hit with his double swing. The dual blow must have broken a rib or two and punctured the creature’s lungs, as blood was leaking out of its unbreathing mouth. With the adrenaline rush from battle subsiding, Jack realized he was freezing and moved to reclaim his clothes and armor, filthy with the dead goblin’s viscera. I really need to find some soap. He saw a litany of notifications, and inspiration struck.

  “Alexa,” Jack asked, “can you group notifications together where it makes sense?” There was no reply from the cool, female voice, but instead of ten notifications there were now only four, which he opened.

  You killed a level 2 goblin and a level 4 goblin. You receive 153 experience points.

  You have gained 3 points in hiking, 2 points in stealth and survival, and 1 point in gathering plants, perception, and dual wield.

  You have learned the blunt weapons skill. You gain a +7 bonus to this skill based on prior experience. You gained an additional skill point during your last encounter, for a total of 9.

  You have learned the acrobatics skill. Each point in acrobatics will help you with your balance and assist you with various maneuvers in combat, such as dives and rolls. You gain a +6 bonus to this skill based on prior experience.

  Jack had been in Tae Kwon Do for a few years, where he’d practiced rolls and falls, and once again, that passing interest was coming in handy again.

  Thinking back on the battle, Jack realized that a definite change had taken place while using the oak batons. At first, his fighting style resembled uncontrolled flailing, like an octopus at an all-you-can-eat crab buffet. But then something changed, and he began to wield the batons more effectively, culminating in his baseball-like finishing blow. The difference must have been learning the skill in between the killing of the first and second goblin. This world is absolutely fascinating!

  Grabbing the backpack, he pulled out some venison and travel rations and began munching on them, pleased the goblins had left the bag alone. After he finished eating, he knelt before what was left of Liam’s body.

  “I will find your wife and free her from her captors down in the mine. I will kill the goblins that took her and exact vengeance in your name. This I vow.”

  Quest Offered: “Vengeance for Liam.” Rescue Liam’s wife from the mines and deliver vengeance upon the goblins that captured her. As you have made a vow, you must accept this quest and have one year to complete it. Penalty for failure: Breaking your vow can have serious consequences
, including significant reputation decreases, loss of perks or titles, and permanent stat debuffs. Reward: 1,000 experience, increased relationship status with Liam’s wife.”

  This was one quest he would be happy to complete. A cold fire still burned deep in his gut as he thought about what the goblin did to Liam. He decided to search the goblins and their lair.

  He checked each of the goblins’ corpses, finding two daggers, a shortsword and, strangely enough, a pair of supple leather boots, clearly different from the rest of the dirty, moth-eaten clothes. He quickly Analyzed the items.

  Name: Poor Bronze Dagger. Durability 10/12. Base damage 0-3.

  Name: Standard Iron Dagger. Durability: 14/18. Base damage: 2-6.

  Name: Fine Iron Shortsword. Durability: 18/25. Base damage: 5-9.

  Name: Exceptional Leather Boots of Stealth. Durability 22/30. Effect: +10 to stealth skill.

  Jack excitedly pulled the boots off the goblin and onto his own feet and, just like in almost every RPG he’d ever played, they adjusted in size until they fit perfectly. Looking at his character sheet, he noticed his stealth score now had a plus ten modifier, bringing him to twenty-four. However, he remained beginner rank, and no new perk options were unlocked. So, items affect your skill points, but do not contribute to a new skill rank. Useful information to know and, if GI Joe had taught him anything, knowing was half the battle.

  Jack also equipped the iron dagger and the iron shortsword. Both were significant upgrades over his current weapons. He stowed his old weapons in the adventuring backpack and moved on to searching the lair.

  Scattered among the trash around the room, he found twelve copper coins, four silver coins, and a small gold coin. The coins were all stamped with the head of a fox. Also stashed nearby was a vial that contained red liquid. Usually, red meant healing, and he used Analyze to confirm.