by JK Galioto
The creature was probably about ten feet tall, but since it hadn’t fully egressed its earthen tunnel, he could not gauge its length. It featured an oversized, heavily armor-plated head with a deadly looking beak, which was now biting Li-Sper’s polearm in two. It stood on the edge of its tunnel on two large, clawed feet, which appeared to be well adapted to digging as well as fighting.
Finally, something interesting happens! Pa-Koni grinned with deadly intent as he used his Lunge perk to spring forward. In one fluid moment, he closed the last fifteen feet between himself and his foe, leading with his weapon’s spearhead. The burrowing creature howled in pain as its left eye was pierced by the deadly polearm.
The creature pulled back; unfortunately, the halberd did not penetrate deep enough in its skull to damage the brain. Perhaps such a creature’s brain is too small a target? The sergeant began to circle his armored enemy as the bulette moved toward the flat earthen ground that surrounded their camp. Now mobile and free from the ground, it became harder to target the creature’s few obvious weak points. It positioned itself off-center, lining up its one good eye with the focus of its ire and roared.
Sergeant Pa-Koni, as always, used each battle as a training exercise to increase his prowess. Instead of going in for the kill, he adopted a more defensive stance and let the beast come to him, his goal being to increase his parry and dodge skills. With its decreased field of vision, it didn’t take much effort to stay away from the deadly business end of the monster. As he did this, he waved off the other scouts that had just positioned themselves to join the fray, as he felt no need to share the experience or the training.
He continued much in this way for almost a full ten minutes, until the angry burrower seemingly began to lose its zest for what must have seemed an easy meal. Noting the bulette’s change in posture and movement, he could tell the creature planned to abscond with its life, and it began to dig a hole back into the soft earth. You’re not getting away!
Moving quickly into the creature’s blind side, he struck the beast on the side of the head with another one of his perks, Ring the Bell. The attack didn’t do an impressive amount of damage but did have a nasty little stun effect. He lazily stood and cocked his head to the left and right, feeling a satisfying crack of his neck vertebrae. So easy. Too easy. Are there none who can stand before me?
Walking confidently up to the mouth of the creature, as if he had all the time in the world, he drew his blade, inspected it briefly, then impaled his quarry through the other eye, this time able to penetrate much further. The bulette stopped moving, somehow still alive, but no longer a threat. With this in mind, he called to his team, “Loot it!”
“Sir?” Ji-Myot replied in confusion. “How would such a creature even carry loot?”
“Private, you know what you have to do. Open it up.”
Ji-Myot was smart enough to obey orders without any outward indication of his distaste. “You heard the sergeant, let’s get to it.” The other three went to work on the creature’s softer underbelly, intent on releasing its contents. After a half hour of gory work, the mysteries of the beast’s stomach were revealed. It contained nothing but bile and undigested food. Ji-Myot looked to the sergeant to report his findings, but he was fast asleep. He would not dare disturb Pa-Koni’s sleep without good reason, so with a sigh, he took his own sword and put the beast down, as it had remained alive through the entire procedure.
Chapter 37
They sat together for a few more minutes making small talk before Gooch made his way back to the campfire, an uneasy look still on his face.
“Sorry for running away like that, but I had the strangest thing happen to me. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Right then,” Jack said hurriedly. “That sounds like something best kept to yourself. We’ve got enough mental stress with all the transition stuff . . . and the other . . . ummm . . . anywho, it’s time we checked out what this place has to offer.” Giving Maebh a fake tip of his hat, he grabbed Gooch around the shoulder and moved him to where the body of the orc, untouched from the day before, lay. “Let’s start with this nice young lad here.” Jack began Analyzing the orc’s equipment.
Name: Exceptional Iron Darkened Scale Mail. Durability 49/65. Effect: Defense +12.
Name: Fine Iron Greatsword. Durability 51/55. Base damage 11-15.
Name: Fine Iron Dagger. Durability 40/40. Base damage 3-7.
Name: Exceptional Ring of Climbing. Durability 23/25. Effect: Provides +15 bonus to climbing skill.
He relayed the information to Gooch, who quickly began to strip the orc out of his armor. Gooch and the orc were roughly the same size, with the orc being slightly taller but Gooch a little wider in the shoulders. After a few minutes, he had the armor on, throwing his old chain mail into his backpack. Jack had to admit, his friend made for a striking figure in the black scale mail. With his Hard as Stone perk, he would be able to absorb an amazing seventeen points of damage before an attack could do any harm. Gooch took the two-handed sword as well, checking its edge and balance briefly before stowing it in his backpack. Jack claimed the dagger, which provided a nice upgrade to his standard iron dagger. He also slipped the ring onto his finger.
They began the gory task of sorting through the hobgoblin corpses, feeling a little like carrion birds come to feast, but quickly succumbing to the seductive dance that was looting. The hob armor was a mixture of standard-quality leather and poor-quality ring mail. Jack found leather armor covered with the least amount of blood and gore and put it on, giving him two more points of defense, for a total of four.
The spiked maces and whips from the hobgoblins were all made of bronze and of standard quality. They left a few for the halflings and put the rest into their backpacks. They also found a total of three gold coins, twelve silver coins, and a few dozen copper coins. There was a head stamped on the coins of something that was clearly not humanoid: sharp teeth, long, muzzle-like nose, bushy eyebrows, Cro-Magnon forehead, and large, pointed ears. Jack really hoped he wouldn’t meet the creature depicted on the coin anytime soon. He went over to check on the spellcasting hobgoblin and beyond a few coins, the only thing of interest was a black onyx ring on the creature’s left hand. He quickly cast Analyze.
Name: Superior Ring. Durability: Unknown. Effect: Unknown. Your Analyze spell is not high enough to identify this item.
Jack had known it was only a matter of time before his low-level Analyze spell failed him. He put the ring in his backpack, promising to try to identify it when he ranked up his skill.
They made their way to what remained of the burned hut, but a quick examination told them that beyond the stone wall base, nothing had survived. Moving on to the first intact hut, they looked inside. It had a similar layout to the burned one, with three bunk beds along the far wall and weapon and armor racks along the left side. Jack started with the trunks at the end of the beds, itching to try out his open locks skill. Fortunately, none of the chests were locked. Unfortunately, the only things they contained were some blankets, pillows, pants, socks, underwear, and a few shirts. Neither of them felt like wearing the underwear of a hobgoblin, preferring to stay commando, but they did take the blankets, pants, and shirts. Maybe with a good cleaning, they’d be usable.
They searched the rest of the room; there were a few poor-quality maces and a number of whips still on the weapons rack, which they left for the halflings. A large barrel sat in the corner near the door that contained what looked to be a version of oatmeal, most likely the dried form of their past couple of meals. It was still better than steaks, and Gooch lifted the heavy barrel and poured the oats into Jack’s backpack. Satisfied that they had completely looted the hut, they moved on to the final hut.
Hoping for better results, they swung the door open and were pleasantly surprised by what they found. The hut was about the same size as the other two but was clearly meant for only one person: Umak the Cruel. A large king-sized poster bed, which dominated the room, lay against the b
ack wall. An elaborate chest stood at the end of the bed, and there was a small fireplace in the corner with what Jack would’ve called a reading chair next to it. Next to the chair was an end table with a few books resting on it, which made him question the little he thought he knew about the orc. Is that an orcish romance novel? Maybe a fancy picture book? Moving inside, Jack shifted his attention to the large wooden chest, gilded with gold, while Gooch swapped places to check out the newly found reading material.
He tried to open the chest and found it locked. Finally! Back home, he could open a simple lock like the one guarding the chest with a couple pieces of stiff metal, such as hairpins, but here he could rely on his thieves’ tools. Pulling them out of his backpack, he went to work.
Three minutes later, sweat beading off his brow and hands trembling, he finally heard the satisfying sound of the lock clicking open. His sensitive ears picked up another soft mechanical sound a moment before a dart launched out of the lock and struck him in the chest. Jupiter’s Thunder! Jack instinctively yanked the dart out with a cry of pain. He could feel the poison spreading through his body; his hands were already numb, and he was finding it hard to breathe. He began casting Cure Poison, noting with dismay that the casting time was fifteen seconds. Couldn’t be helped, he decided, as he continued casting, which mainly involved repetitive chanting. At five seconds he could no longer feel anything below his waist. After ten seconds, he couldn’t feel anything below his armpit, and his breathing came in sharp, harsh gasps. At eleven seconds the spell finished, and he felt magical relief spread throughout his body. Whew, the Combat Medic perk must have shortened my casting time, or I would be deader than an orc to Gandalf’s west at the dawn of the fifth day.
Lying on the floor of the hut for another minute, he finally picked himself up, looking over at Gooch, who hadn’t blinked an eye during the entire episode. He was engrossed in a large blue book, completely ignoring events around him.
“Don’t get up, I got this, big guy,” Jack said, dusting himself off as he turned his attention back to his newly unlocked booty. He spent a good minute looking the chest over for additional traps but didn’t see any. He hesitantly opened the lid, turning his face and body away just in case there was a nasty surprise, but nothing happened. Sighing in relief, he began rummaging through it. Like the other chests, there were complete uniforms, although these were significantly better quality and looked spotless. Jack set the clothes aside, thinking the style and size would be a good fit for Gooch. There was also a small belt that held six red potions. Jackpot! Jack Analyzed them to verify that they were indeed restoration potions. Another gift for Gooch. Finally, he found a large pouch that contained a hefty sum of gold and silver pieces, which Jack quickly stowed away in his backpack.
While Jack never farted in the mouth of a gift horse, he had been hoping for more. He began to turn away when he noticed a slight discrepancy between the inside depth of the chest and the external height. Booyah, perception skill! He felt the bottom of the chest for a sign that it was false or could be moved, but after a few minutes he couldn’t find anything. On a whim, he decided to flip the chest upside down, a considerable undertaking for his meager strength. On the bottom of the chest, he noticed a small hole in the lower right corner. Grabbing his improvised tools, he shoved one of the needles into the hole and, with a loud click, the bottom of the chest sprang open. Jack excitedly lifted the lid up and looked inside, seeing two books, another pouch, and a dark cloak. He Analyzed each item, nearly peeing himself in anticipation.
You have discovered the spell book Shillelagh.
Name: Shillelagh. Casting Time: 5 seconds. Spell Cost: 8. Cooldown: 1 hour. Rank: Simple. Effect: The stick, club, or quarterstaff you are holding is imbued with nature’s power, making the weapon magical. The weapon deals an additional 2-8 damage when wielded by the caster. The spell ends when the caster lets go of the weapon.
You have discovered the spell book Dust Devil.
Name: Dust Devil. Casting Time: 10 seconds. Spell Cost: 15. Cooldown: 24 hours. Rank: Advanced. Effect: This spell enables the caster to conjure a weak air elemental, which will appear as a small whirlwind made of dust and debris. The creature will move as directed by the caster but dissipates if separated from the caster by more than 90 feet. The winds of the dust devil are sufficient to put out torches, small campfires, and other open flames of non-magical origin. Any enemies caught inside the whirlwind are blinded for 5 seconds after exiting the whirlwind. Enemies caught inside the dust devil will also take 2-9 points of damage from flying debris for every 5 seconds they remain in the whirlwind.
The spells seemed to have an overall nature theme, like something a Druid would use. He wondered if he or Gooch could learn these, and figured why not, although what he knew about spellcasting could fill a tiny, halfling-sized thimble. There was always a chance he would fail and the book would explode or something. Easy come, easy blow.
He Analyzed the cloak next.
Name: Exceptional Shadow Cloak. Durability 34/40. Effect: When the hood is drawn over the head, the wearer becomes almost invisible to normal sight and Darkvision. Provides a +10 bonus to stealth and completely masks the body heat of the individual.
The pouch held rough and uncut gems that Jack surmised had been mined by the prisoners. Jack threw the pouch in the backpack, his eyes never leaving the strange, black cloak. Combined with the boots and his natural talent, he would henceforth be known as Abe Froman, the Stealth King of Chicago! He thought about trying to scare Gooch with his new cloak, but decided against it, still feeling a little bad about his earlier prank.
Satisfied that the chest was empty, Jack went over to see what had Gooch so fascinated. The book he was reading looked like a large tome, with a brown, soft leather cover. Jack could just make out the title of the book between his oversized hands: Kilim Chao’s Guide to the Undead.
“Good book?” Jack asked, trying to get Gooch’s attention.
Gooch looked up, clearly annoyed with the interruption. “It’s an educational book on how to fight the undead, complete with cool illustrations of what the different beasties look like. For each type of undead monster, it talks about how they like to fight, their strengths, and their weaknesses. And get this, my Burning Hands spell will be particularly useful, because all undead are vulnerable to fire and take double damage from it!”
“Do you have an erection?” Jack asked, seeing the tent pole in his pants, which was remarkable given Gooch’s thick armor coverings. Good for you, Gooch.
“Don’t act like you’re not impressed,” Gooch said, not looking up from his book. He was like a kid at Christmas and continued to ignore Jack. Figuring he would tell Gooch about the spell books later, he decided to look over the rest of the room.
He started with the barrels. The first one held more of the oatmeal; he figured he’d leave that one for the halflings. He and Gooch had enough for a couple of months. The second barrel had a true miracle: soap. Lots and lots of white, unscented soap. Jack danced excitedly, putting it into his bag and resolving to take a proper bath the first chance he got. He scoured the rest of the room, grabbing a couple of large wool blankets from the bed that, after a full delousing, would be useful.
Leaving the hut, he returned to the pit. He was puzzled; he had assumed he would find a pearl in the chest of the orc overlord, but nada. Doing another point of damage with a facepalm, he hurriedly pulled the lodestone out of his backpack to see the angle of its dangle. It pulled hard toward a tunnel on the far edge of the pit. He looked up to see Peter Pickle staring at him.
“Whatcha doin’?” Peter asked in his heavily accented version of Common.
“This lodestone is supposed to point me to the pearls I need to bring reinforcements to Rigara. It’s pointing me at that tunnel,” Jack answered, pointing to the passage in question.
“Oh no, sir,” Peter whispered, taking an involuntary step back, his voice a soft tremor. “That tunnel is bad news. Since I arrived at the mines, Umak the Crue
l has had an agreement with the trash-eating creatures that live at the end of that tunnel. Every day he picks a miner to bring trash and refuse down into that tunnel, and in return they leave us alone. Before that truce, Umak lost many of his guards and miners to whatever lives down there. There is also magic that allows orc and goblin tribes across Rigara to throw their trash into various locations and it magically ends up in that cavern, feeding the monsters by creating huge pits of nastiness. It kinda functions like a well, except instead of pulling water up, you drop things down. Umak often grumbled about fighting the creature instead of acting like its servant, but decided against it, because Umak may be dumb, but he ain’t stupid, if you pick up what I am laying down. Leave that tunnel alone. Come back with my folk instead.”
“I ain’t afraid of no ghosts,” Jack replied in his best Ghostbusters’ Ray Parker Jr. voice. “Listen, Peter, I appreciate the warning, but we need more pearls. We can’t let our fears hold us back; sometimes you just jump and figure it out on the way down. We will be careful, and I appreciate you giving me a heads up.”
He told Peter about the oats in Umak’s hut, then went to get Gooch. Time, like Andre the Giant at an Old Country Buffet, waits for no one.
Chapter 38
They had another meal of soggy cooked oats, making a point of sharing their few remaining deer and mountain lion steaks with the halflings before setting off down the tunnel. During the lunch, Jack and Gooch filled each other in on their new abilities. Jack was fascinated to learn that Gooch had found a class that fit him so very well. No doubt they would need every ounce of those new abilities to survive the days ahead. When he told Gooch about his new Mind Meld perk, Gooch almost lost it once he put together that Jack was the voice in his head earlier. Although Gooch offered no immediate payback, the look in his eyes told Jack there would be a reckoning.
