by Felix Dahn
CHAPTER XXII
It was three years ago. We had again marched against the Moors, thistime to the southwest to meet the tribes which pitch their tents at thefoot of the Auras Mountains. We passed through the Proconsularis, thenNumidia, and from Tipasa forced the foe out of the level country up thesteep mountains, where, amid inaccessible rocks, they sought refuge. Weencamped on the plain, keeping them surrounded until hunger shouldforce them to yield. Days, weeks elapsed. The time grew too long forme, and often, riding along the mountain chain, I sought some spotwhere lower cliffs might render it possible to scale or storm them.
"On one of these lonely rides (I needed no companion, for the enemy didnot venture down into the valley) I had gone a long, long distance fromour camp. Riding in a wide circuit around a projecting cliff, I lostthe right direction in the vast, monotonous desert. I had neverexamined this side of the mountains, they seemed less difficult toscale; I felt no anxiety about returning, though my panting horse hadcovered many a mile,--the prints of his hoofs would guide me back.Already the rays of the ardent sun were falling more aslant, and brownmists were gathering around the glowing disk. I wished to see what laybeyond the nearest cliff, and, guiding my horse close to the rockybase, I turned the corner. Instantly a terrible sound deafened myears,--a roar that made every nerve quiver. My horse reared in terror;I saw, only a few paces in front of me, a huge lion, a monster in size,crouching to spring. I hurled my spear with all my force; but at thesame moment my horse, frantic with fear, reared still higher,overbalanced himself, and fell backward, burying me under his weight. Asharp pain in the thigh was the last thing I felt. Then my sensesfailed."
He paused, deeply agitated by the remembrance of the scene.
Hilda, her lips half parted, gazed at him in breathless suspense. "Alion?" she faltered. "They usually shun the desert."
"Yes," said Gibamund. "But they like to prowl among the mountains closeto the border. I know that you were brought back to Carthage with abroken thigh," he added. "Many, many weeks passed before you werecured; but I was not aware--"
"When I recovered consciousness the sun was setting. It was burninghot--everything--the air, the dry sand on which the back of my headrested (for the helmet had slipped off in my fall), the heavy horsewhich lay motionless on my right leg and thigh. He had broken his neck.I tried to drag myself from beneath the heavy burden. Impossible; Icould not move the broken limb. By bracing my right hand and arm on thesand, I attempted to raise the upper part of my body above the carcassof the horse. I succeeded. Directly in front of me was the lion! Theanimal lay motionless on his belly a few feet away; the handle of myspear protruded from his breast just beside his right fore-paw. Myheart exulted at his death. But alas, no! Now that I had stirred, a lowangry growl came from his half-open jaws. The mane bristled; he triedto rise, but could not, and remained lying where he had fallen. Thenthe claws clenched the sand deeper, evidently in the attempt to dragthe body nearer, while the monster's glittering eyes were fixed full onmine. And I?--I could not draw back a single inch. Then--I will notdeny it--fear, base, abject, trembling terror seized me. I let myselffall back upon the sand; I could not bear the horrible sight. Throughmy brain darted the thought: 'Woe betide you, what will be your fate?'And in my despair, my mortal terror, I shrieked as loud as I could,'Help, help!' But I repented horribly; my voice must have roused thefury of the wounded animal; a roar answered me,--a roar so frightful inits rage and menace that my breath failed. When silence followed, myblood rushed, seething, through my veins. What threatened me? What endawaited me? No cries for aid would be heard by our troops; many, manymiles of untrodden desert sands separated me from our farthestoutposts. I had not seen during my whole ride a single trace of the foeamong the mountains; how gladly would I have surrendered myself intotheir hands as a captive! But to languish here, under the scorchingsun, on the burning sands--to perish slowly, for already thirst wastorturing me with its terrible pangs! Ah, and I had heard that thisagonizing death by thirst might drag along for days in the lonelywilderness.
"Then, looking up to the pitiless, leaden sky, I asked in a whisper,--Iconfess that I was afraid to wake the lion's voice again,--'God, God ofJustice, why? What sin have I committed to be forced to suffer thus?'
"Then through my brain darted the terrible answer of Holy Writ: 'I willvisit the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third andfourth generation.' You are atoning, I groaned, for the sins of yourancestors; the curse of those who were burned at the stake is burningyou here. You are condemned upon earth and in hell. Is this alreadyhell that compasses me with such scorching heat, that sears my eyes, mythroat, my chest, nay, my very soul? And hark! More terrible, louderstill, it seemed to me, nearer, rose the roar of the monster. My sensesfailed again.
"I lay unconscious all night, probably passing from the fainting fitinto a dream. In my half-doze I again saw everything that had happened.'Ah,' I murmured, smiling, 'it is only a dream; it can be nothing but adream. Such things do not belong to the world of reality. You are lyingin your tent, with your sword by your side.' Rousing, I grasped at thehilt. Oh, horrible! I clutched the desert sand. It was no dream.
"Day had already dawned, and the sun again shone pitilessly with itsscorching rays upon my unprotected face. Now the thought came, 'Mysword! A weapon!' Bear the same torture, the same mortal anguish, forlong hours? No! God forgive the heavy sin, but I would end my life; Iwas already condemned to hell! I grasped my sword-belt; an empty sheathhung from it. The blade had dropped out in the fall. I glanced aroundand saw the trusty weapon lying very near. Never had I loved it as Idid at that moment; it was just at my left; I tried to seize it--invain. Far as I could stretch my arm, my fingers, the faithful bladelay--perhaps barely six inches away--but beyond my reach. Then a lowgrowl reminded me of the lion, and by a great effort (my strength wasfailing) I raised myself high enough to see the animal.
"Alas! Was it an illusion, indicative of approaching madness? For mythoughts were darting through my brain like clouds whirling before theblast of the coming storm. No! It was true. The monster had movednearer, much nearer than the day before. It was no illusion. I couldestimate clearly. Yesterday, no matter how far he stretched his paw, hecould not reach the large black stone which had fallen from the cliffdirectly in front of my horse; now it lay almost by the wild beast'shind leg. During these hours, urged by increasing hunger, the lion hadpushed himself forward almost the entire length of his body, and nowlay only a foot and a half or two feet from me. If he should advancestill farther--if he should reach me? Helpless, defenceless, I mustallow myself to be devoured alive! Then terror darted through my heart.In mortal anguish I prayed aloud to God, struggled with Him in appeal:'No, no, my God, Thou must not abandon me! Thou must save me, God ofMercy!' At this moment I suddenly remembered the belief of our wholepeople concerning the guardian spirits whom God has allotted to us inthe form of helpful human beings. Do you remember? The attendantspirits."
"Yes," said Gibamund. "And by fervent prayer we can, in the hour ofsupreme peril, constrain God to show us the guardian spirit sent by Himto our rescue."
"My ancestor, too," said Hilda, "believed in them firmly. He said thatour forefathers imagined the guardian spirits in the form of women whoinvisibly followed the chosen heroes everywhere to protect them. Butsince the Christian religion came--"
"These demon women have left us," said Gelimer, crossing himself, "andGod has assigned to us _men_, who are our keepers, counsellors,saviors, and guardian spirits here on earth. 'Send me, O God,' I cried,in an agony of entreaty, 'send me in this hour of utmost need the manwhom Thou hast appointed to be my guardian spirit here on earth. Lethim save me! And so long as I breathe, I will trust him as I wouldThyself, will revere in him Thy wondrous power.'
"When I had ended this fervent prayer, my heart suddenly grew lighter.True, great weakness, almost faintness, stole over me; but thereblended with it something infinitely sweet, inexpressedly happy andfull of relief And now, in my f
everish illusion, I suddenly beheldalluring visions of deliverance; the terrible thirst which tortured mepainted a spring of delicious water gushing from the rocks close besideme. The rescuers, too, were already coming! Not Zazo, not Gibamund; Iknew that they had marched against other Moors, far, far westward of mycamp. No, it was some one else, whose features I could not seedistinctly. He dashed forward on a neighing horse; he slew the lion; hedragged the constantly-increasing weight of my dead horse from my body.Then I heard only a rushing, ringing noise in my ears, which said:'Your deliverer is here! Your guardian spirit.' Suddenly the ringingdied away, and--it was no fevered dream--I heard in reality behind me,from the direction of our camp, the neighing of a horse. With my laststrength I turned my head and saw a few paces behind me a man who hadjust sprung from his horse. He was standing in a hesitating, doubtingattitude, as if reflecting, with his hand clenched on his sword-hilt,gazing at me and the lion."
"He hesitated?" cried Hilda. "He reflected; A Vandal warrior?"
"He was no Vandal."
"A Moor? A foe?"
"It was Verus, the priest."
"'My guardian spirit,' I cried, 'my preserver! God has sent you. Takemy whole life!' Then my senses failed again.
"Verus told me afterwards that he cautiously approached the lion, and,seeing how deeply the weapon had penetrated, he hastily tore the spearfrom the wound; a tremendous rush of blood followed, and the monsterdied. Then he dragged me from under the dead horse, lifted me withdifficulty on his own, bound me firmly on its back, and carried meslowly to the camp. My soldiers had sought me solely in the path alongwhich they saw me ride out; Verus, who accompanied our army, was theonly one who noticed that, after leaving the encampment that morning, Iturned eastward. And when I was missed, he searched until he found me."
"Alone?"
"Entirely alone."
"How strange!" said Hilda; "how easily, alone, he might have failed inhis purpose!"
"God enlightened and sent him."
"And did you--did he never tell others?"
Gelimer shook his noble head gravely. "The miracles of God are not tobe the subject of idle talk. I earnestly besought his forgiveness that,formerly, I had almost distrusted him. He generously pardoned me.'True, I felt it,' he said. 'It grieved me. Now atone by trusting mefully. For in truth you are right. God really did send me to you; I_am_ your fate, I am the tool in God's hand that watches over your lifeand guides it to its predestined goal. I saw you--as if in a dream,though I was awake--lying helpless in the desert, and a secret voiceurged me on, saying: "Seek him. Thou shalt become his fate!" And Icould not rest until I had found you.'
"Now I have confided this to you that you may no longer wound me byyour doubts. No, Hilda, do not shake your head. No objection; I willsuffer none. How your distrust angers me! Has he not saved me a secondtime? Do you want a third sign from God, unbeliever? I would not wishto be incensed against you, so I will leave you. It is late. Believe,trust, and keep silence." With a bearing of lofty dignity, he left theroom.
Hilda gazed after him thoughtfully. Then she shrugged her shoulders."Mere chance," she said, "and superstition! How can delusion ensnaresuch a mind?"
"Such danger threatens just such minds. I rejoice that mine is lessexalted."
"And that your soul is healthy!" cried Hilda, starting from her reveriewith a gesture of relief, and throwing both arms around her belovedhusband.
