by Kay Hooper
He stood for a long time where she’d left him, staring blindly at nothing. When he finally pushed away from the car and started back through the woods to meet Derek, he felt stiff and sore, and his chest was still hurting. When he reached the spot where his partner waited, he knelt down beside him and asked in a very tranquil voice, “See anything?”
“Nothing unexpected.” Derek sent him a sidelong look, then turned his eyes ahead again. “The lady go home?”
“Yes.”
After a moment, Derek suggested, “Maybe we’d better hit the road too. There’s no way we can go into this place blind and hope to accomplish anything. Agreed?”
“Agreed.” Kelsey sounded disinterested.
Derek didn’t say another word until they reached the motel, and then he said only, “My room, if you don’t mind.”
Kelsey went with him to his room without protest or question, and sat in the chair by the window once they were inside. “Something on your mind?”
“You might say so.” Derek sat on his bed, weighing his options and not entirely happy with any of them. Still, he didn’t have much choice. Either he found a way to release some of the pressure building up inside Kelsey, or else he waited for the man to blow apart on his own—and who or what might get caught in that explosion?
“Well?” Kelsey was expressionless, but he was pale and still and coiled tightly.
Derek kept his voice level and impersonal. “I heard a story not so long ago that might interest you. It’s about a kid who got involved in a dangerous business. A kid who went undercover for the first time, and had to watch without expression while his father’s body was thrown off a freighter. I’ve wondered about that kid. I’ve wondered how he managed to get through it.”
Kelsey’s eyes lightened slowly, going very bright and hard, while his face remained still.
Derek noted the dangerous reaction, but continued in the same soft tone. “I think I understand. I think the kid just took twenty-one years of his life and locked them away in a split second. I think he locked those years away so completely that he doesn’t remember he was ever anything but an agent.”
“If you’re trying to make a point,” Kelsey said flatly, “I’m missing it.”
“Yeah, you hate subtlety, don’t you?” Derek almost smiled. “All right, then, I’ll be blunt. I don’t know what the problem is between you and Elizabeth, but I want to ask you something, Kelsey.”
“So ask,” he muttered.
“What do you let her see when she looks at you?”
Impatiently, Kelsey said, “What do you think?”
“I think she sees the only thing you’ve let anyone see in fifteen years. A chameleon. And you shed your skin to suit the circumstances, changing from one moment to the next. Becoming whatever you have to become. I think a woman needs a focus, Kelsey, and you’re not giving her one.”
“What are you … that you can do this to me?”
“Who are you? What are you? I know your name, but I don’t know who you are. And I have to know who you are, because …”
“You can’t catch the wind,” she whispered. “Chain the lightning. And you’re as elusive as those elements. Somehow, I know that.”
Kelsey understood, then, what Derek meant. And he understood why Elizabeth was so convinced their future together could be measured in days or weeks—but no more. She was simply responding to what she saw in him, understanding intuitively what he was only now seeing himself.
She saw what fifteen years of role-playing had made him. Derek’s word: a chameleon. A man as changeable as the weather and, like the weather, an elusive force of nature which couldn’t be controlled by anything but itself.
“Maybe I can’t give her a focus,” he said at last, with difficulty. “Maybe there isn’t one to give.”
“There will be, once you settle with the past,” Derek told him, aware that Kelsey was no longer so tightly wound, that the pressure had eased. “Once you accept that you did what you had to do, that you were given no other choice.”
“I don’t know what you—”
“Yes, you do. The kid couldn’t even grieve for his father, couldn’t let out his rage and pain. And by the time he could, he’d already locked it away inside him.” When Kelsey remained silent, Derek said, “It’s over, finished. There’s Elizabeth now, that lady who really got to you. And if you won’t give her anything—how can you expect her to give you anything?”
A long moment passed, and then Kelsey said roughly, “Just where in hell did you study psychology?”
In a light tone, Derek said, “I’m a natural observer of human nature, the only thing I have in common with our esteemed boss. I’m also very tired. What’s on the agenda for tomorrow?”
Kelsey let it pass, grateful for Derek’s sensitivity. “More of the same, unless Raven calls. I’m a little curious about the possibility of military involvement; I may drive into Charleston and see what I can turn up.”
Derek nodded. “I think I’ll do a bit more reconnaissance out at Meditron. Maybe I can find a way into the place.”
“Sounds good.” Kelsey rose to leave, pausing at the door. “Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“Hello, Ami.”
She turned with a start and laughed. “You do like to sneak up on people!” But she was smiling, her haunting eyes bright. “Where have you been, Kelsey?”
He petted Lobo absently, accepting the dog’s rumbling growl as a greeting. “Busy, little fawn. You too, from the look of it. Riding so early?” He nodded toward the saddle hanging over the gate.
“I’m training for a horse show. That’s where I was yesterday. You came to see Beth yesterday, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” He glanced past the girl at the quiet house. “Is she up yet?” It wasn’t much past dawn.
“Sure. Beth gets up with the chickens. If you’ll come into the house—”
He smiled at her. “How about doing me a favor and telling her I’m out here?”
“All right.” She hesitated, a little troubled because he seemed different today. “Kelsey, is anything wrong?”
“No. No, nothing’s wrong, Ami. Think you can hold down the fort if I kidnap Elizabeth for the day?”
She grinned. “Can I ever! Come on, Lobo, breakfast.” She raced off toward the house, with the big dog obediently at her heels.
When Elizabeth came out of the house a few moments later, she moved slowly and a bit stiffly toward the man leaning against the pasture gate. She didn’t know what to expect from him. In the small hours of the night she had quite literally thrown herself at him, and even though she had walked away from that confrontation, the rejection had been his.
What now? Which man waited for her so quietly by the gate? He was formally dressed in a dark suit, the image of a businessman busily climbing the corporate ladder, and she wasn’t sure what to expect. Not sure at all.
She took a deep breath and walked steadily to him, painfully aware that just the sight of his big, powerful body was causing a riot in her own. There was still, somewhere inside her, a deep sense of shock that she could feel this way, but she had no weapon to fight the emotions and sensations.
Kelsey didn’t say a word when she reached him. He simply drew her into his arms and bent his head to kiss her deeply and thoroughly. Elizabeth melted against him instantly, sliding her arms around his waist beneath the jacket, answering the demand of his lips with a fire of her own.
When he lifted his head at last, Kelsey was breathing a bit roughly. But he was also smiling.
She fought to catch her breath. “You—you changed your mind?” she ventured unsteadily.
“No,” he murmured, reaching up to brush a strand of her silver hair away from her face. “I’ll still be in your bed by midnight.”
Elizabeth blinked. “You’re a very confusing man,” she said at last, a bit helplessly.
“And I’m sorry about that.” He was gazing at her face very intently. “Can you bear with me whi
le I work it out?”
“I guess I’ll have to.” She was strongly aware of his body against hers. “You charmed my vicious watchdog, apparently mesmerized at least one of my sisters, and I won’t even mention what you’ve done to me.”
“Mention it,” he requested, smiling.
“I think I commented once on the size of your ego; I’m not about to add to it.”
He laughed softly. “All right, I’ll let you off. This time. I need to drive into Charleston, and I’d like you to come with me. Will you?”
“Of course,” she said simply.
Kelsey hugged her briefly, then stepped back. “I don’t know what it is about you,” he said conversationally, “but you’ve got the damnedest habit of making me feel humble.”
“Of making you feel what?” she asked, incredulous.
He met her laughing eyes, and his own were very bright. “Obviously, I don’t do humble too well.”
“That’s one way of putting it.”
“I’m not going to stand here and be abused. Do you need anything from the house? I’m ready to leave now.”
“My purse. You can come in—”
“No. The next time I cross that threshold, I plan to be carrying you.”
She tamed the leap of her heart and inquired gently, “Over one shoulder?”
“If necessary,” he responded in a bland tone.
Elizabeth stood looking at him for a moment, smiling despite herself. “I’m out of my mind,” she said finally.
“That makes two of us,” he said lightly. “Go get your purse.”
Kelsey remained where he was, watching her return to the house. Out of his mind, sure; why else would he torture himself by spending a nice platonic day in her company? She was so beautiful, it hurt him just to look at her, and the knowledge that her physical response to him was total had his control on the fine edge of impossible.
Out of his mind.
He had spent the remainder of a very bad night sleepless, trying with all his will to get a handle on the situation. His professional instincts told him to pull out, and quickly, because his own state of mind was too uncertain and that was dangerous; yet, pulling out now for whatever reasons would mean the death of his relationship with Elizabeth, because she would never understand why he had to leave. Not now. She couldn’t see him clearly enough to understand his motives.
He couldn’t leave her, not now, and that understanding had brought a cold weight to his stomach somewhere around dawn. Because unless this explosive thing between them was resolved, and quickly, he was a danger to all of them. With his mind and emotions in turmoil over her—to say nothing of his body—he would have to examine every instinct, every thought, to make certain they weren’t colored by his feelings for her. And in a situation like this one, that hesitation could easily get somebody killed.
His partner’s words in the small hours of the night made only too much sense, and Kelsey knew that Derek was right. How could Elizabeth trust a man she couldn’t even see clearly? And until she learned to see him, and trust him, what was between them could never be completely resolved.
Kelsey knew what he had to do, but he didn’t know how to do it. He honestly didn’t know how to fuse the various bits and pieces of himself into a complete whole. How? How, when he wasn’t sure what that complete image would be?
“So, you’re still hanging around, huh?”
He looked at Meg, standing before him, and pulled his mind away from puzzles. She seemed younger this morning, more vulnerable; she was dressed in jeans and a sloppy sweatshirt, no makeup, and her hair was tousled. A very young sixteen-year-old.
“Hello, Meg.” He smiled a little. “Yes, I’m still hanging around. Did you expect me to leave?”
She shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans and looked mutinous. “I don’t see why you’re still here, that’s all.” Her tone was rude, deliberately.
“I hate to say wait until you’re older, and you’ll understand,” he said dryly, “but I’m afraid I have to.”
Meg smiled sarcastically. “Oh, right. Desperately in love with Beth, I suppose. Hate to tell you this, but you’re just the latest in a long line of men dogging my sister’s steps.”
“I imagine that’s true,” he said neutrally. “She’s a lovely woman.”
Meg’s eyes were bright and hard. “So they say. All of them. Blaine’s still saying it, and he’s been hanging around her for years. He’ll be here when you’re gone. She’ll probably marry him, you know.”
Kelsey wasn’t putting much faith in his intuition these days, but he had a flash then and knew it was on target. Quietly, he said, “I won’t take her away from you, honey.”
Meg flushed to the roots of her pale hair. “You’re damned right you won’t!” she said shakily, and whirled to walk quickly toward the house. Her back was stiff, and she moved jerkily. She met Elizabeth on the front porch, and her high, unsteady voice was audible to the man watching several yards away.
“I don’t see why you’re wasting time with this one, Beth—he’s just out for what he can get!” Then she vanished into the house.
Elizabeth hesitated, then came out to meet Kelsey, her face troubled. “I’m sorry,” she told him.
“Don’t be.” He smiled a little. “The poor kid’s just terrified of losing you.”
She looked at him searchingly. “That’s what I finally realized. I’ve dated in the past few years, and Meg’s always hostile. Except to Blaine. I guess because he’s so settled here, she’s decided I wouldn’t go far if I ended up with him.”
Kelsey took her hand and began leading her to where he’d left his car at the end of the driveway. “Logical enough,” he agreed calmly. “And I’d guess she’s also testing your authority to the limit. Any major trouble?”
Elizabeth looked down at their clasped hands and had to swallow before she could respond. “No, not really. She runs with the wrong crowd, but so far I’ve been able to handle her. It’s just a phase she’s going through. She’s a good kid.”
Kelsey opened the car door on the passenger side, shaking his head. “You haven’t had it easy.”
She got into the car, smiling up at him. “I wouldn’t have had it any other way,” she said lightly.
He closed her door and went around to get into the driver’s seat. “No, I guess not. You’re not one to lean on somebody else, are you, Elizabeth?”
She half turned to look at him, studying his hard but somehow pleasant face. “I never have been. But then, there wasn’t anyone else,” she added simply.
Starting the car and backing from the driveway, he said, “There is now. Keep that in mind, will you?”
They rode for a few moments in silence, and then she said, “Kelsey? Is Jo all right?”
He reached over and took her hand, closing his mind to the inevitable speculation of a mind that knew too well what dangerous men could do to a captive. “I’ll make sure she’s all right,” he said steadily, making a reckless promise he had every intention of keeping.
He would make very sure that Jo Conner was just fine. And if that was a promise broken for him, nothing in the world would be able to repair the shambles he’d leave of Meditron and everyone involved.
“With your trusty sword?” she said softly.
“With everything I’ve got.”
“That’s it.”
Josh looked over one of Zach’s shoulders, while Raven looked over the other, and it was she who spoke after reading the computer’s screen intently.
“No wonder they had the data locked. Is that as dangerous as I think it is?”
Josh answered. “Deadly, in the wrong hands. And if they’re holding that girl captive, I’d say it was in the wrong hands.”
“So what do we do with this?” Raven asked.
“We get it to Kelsey, pronto,” Zach said, turning away from the computer as the other two straightened. “Luc’s checking with his sources now, but if that data on Major Thorn checks out, there’s one hell of a ba
d situation brewing down there.”
Josh looked at him thoughtfully. “You’re the only one of us with military experience. Just how much authority can Thorn command?”
Zach grunted. “All he wants, dammit. The military set up a nice little operation in Pinnacle, and it’s been running smoothly for years. Thorn’s kept it quiet and produced for them, so they’ve stopped keeping an eye on him from the higher levels. Soldiers are a peculiar breed, Josh; they’ve been trained to take orders and not ask questions. Except for maybe one or two key people, Thorn’s men probably don’t even know he’s going into business for himself. And it’s a lead pipe cinch they don’t know a girl’s being held hostage in the plant.”
Softly, thinking as much of the phone call she had received as of this new information, Raven said, “Kelsey and Derek are going to need help.” She was gazing steadily at her husband.
He met her gaze, his own still thoughtful, but didn’t respond immediately because Lucas walked into the room. “Is the information confirmed?” he asked his investigator.
“In spades.” Luc rested a hip on the corner of a desk and addressed the others briskly. “Thorn’s a renegade, all right. He has a history of doing things his own way, and promotion was denied several times due to quote, unauthorized activities, end quote. I’d like to know who the hell was dumb enough to put him in charge at Meditron. I played a hunch and got in touch with a friend who works both sides of the streets.”
“Weapons dealer?” Zach asked neutrally.
Lucas, knowing that the big security chief hated arms dealers, gave him a rueful look. “Don’t bite me. but yes. To his credit, he’s one of the few who has scruples; he won’t sell to just anybody. He told me that he’d heard a renegade army major was looking for buyers for some very sophisticated weapons—and that he didn’t care who he sold them to as long as the price was right.” Luc shook his head. “And it will be. There are groups out there who’d pay just about anything.”
“Who takes care of shipping?” Josh asked.
