And in that dark well of strangeness within me, an invisible fist choked me.
His handsome face changed into that of a terrible angry god. He had known the shape of my magic, sensed me reaching for it. He drew an invisible line in the air, and I was cut off from my magic as if it had never been there. “Do remember who you are talking to, child. I’ve created things like you well before your ancestors even attained the ability to speak.”
This was what life was: pain, hurt, enslavement.
Grant’s face flashed in my mind.
I had been so pathetic to think it could ever be anything else.
What other choice did I have?
Life fucking sucked.
It was a truth I had always known though I had almost deceived myself into believing otherwise.
Fuck it. If I could get back to that place between life and death, I’d make my own goddamn door.
I picked up the key.
“Take me to this door.”
* * *
Fog as thick as cotton shrouded me. The air was thin and cold, but moist with the scent of greenery and life.
“Where are we?”
“On a mountain,” said Sophie’s uncle, who materialized beside me, fog clinging oddly to his form like wisps of cotton.
It occurred to me that I didn’t even know his name. Not that it mattered.
I jumped at the sound of a scream which sounded like a child’s wail that was cut off. Something screeched in triumph, then I heard a second screech of something birdlike.
“What the hell was that?”
“An eagle killing a rabbit,” he replied.
“Rabbits scream like that?”
“Maybe it was a sheep.” He shrugged. “It is the nature of life. There are those who are prey and then those who prey.”
The fog parted briefly, and I realized that we were standing on the edge of a cliff.
Dark mountains draped with snow stretched out in the distance below as far as I could see.
“Where the hell are we?”
“The Himalayas.”
How the— Right, it wasn’t even worth it to ask. The answer was magic.
“Where’s the doorway?” I asked, staring at the mountains below.
“It’s here, somewhere,” he said.
It was yet, another astoundingly beautiful place, like a screensaver on a computer. And yet it didn’t matter. “You don’t even know where it is?”
“It presents itself to the proper wielder of the key.”
The fog closed in again.
There was an echoing thunderous sound in the distance. I wouldn’t have known it before, but now I knew the monstrous roar that would never be mistaken for anything else.
Dragons.
They were here to avenge Sophie. And take out their fury on me.
I closed my eyes, wondering what death by dragonfire would be like. Would it be quick? Or would they make it last?
I deserved whatever I got.
Sophie’s uncle frowned. “I’ll be back.”
He stepped away from me into the fog.
“Hey, wait—”
But he was already gone.
I stood there waiting for I didn’t even know how long. The wind began to howl, blowing with ice and snow. I glanced at my hands and realized that there was ice encasing them. I wiggled my fingers, breaking the ice.
This wasn’t normal, I realized. But nothing about this body had been normal. If I were human, I would be freezing to death.
I wasn’t human, was I?
Unexpectedly, a swirl of warmth curled around me, as if the breeze from a summer’s day had found its way up here to wrap around me.
My chest went tight as I turned, seeking the source of the warmth.
I saw the glimmer of light before I saw him.
The fog parted.
Grant in his white sparkling armor. He had come in his armor, helmet and all, because he thought I was an enemy.
The knowledge wrapped around me, like vines with barbed thorns, piercing me with the twin poisons of loss and hopelessness.
I had no weapons, and Sophie’s uncle had blocked my access to my magic. I should run; I knew I should hide. If I jumped off the cliff, could I die before he saved me?
Just as before, I was anchored to the ground as if I were glued there, prey in the presence of a predator.
I reached for my magic inside me, but the wall that Sophie’s uncle had placed to block my magic was as strong as it had ever been. Still, I willed my magic to smash against the wall.
A crack, but not enough.
I braced myself, preparing myself for the pain that would get worse. All I had were my words. I had to make him angry enough to kill me.
It would be all over soon.
My heart stopped. I had to say something, anything.
He took off his helmet. “Sophie and her child are alive.”
They were the last words I expected to hear him say. I must have just gone still because he repeated his words again, taking a step toward me. “Not just alive, but well. You brought them back.”
Relief swept through me. I had done the right thing. It should have been enough.
And yet, it wasn’t like I could forget the pain of the last few hours, or the lesson that this had taught me.
I looked at the dark key in my hand, warm with magic.
I heard him take another step toward me. “I believed you,” he said.
“I don’t know if it matters.” I walked over to the edge of the cliff, the key as warm as the wind was cold. In the distance, I heard a dragon roar and above me saw parts of the clouds spark with a red light from their flame. Almost certainly Hunter. “I know the truth about myself. I need to go back to my death.”
“Of course it matters! You saved them.” He looked at his hands, the same gesture he had made when he knelt at his brother’s body. “I know what failure is. And I’ve been trying to fix it.”
“With vengeance,” I said. I squeezed the key in my hand. It blazed with heat, sharpening itself into a stiletto.
“Show me another way,” he challenged me.
And suddenly I knew how I was to open the door. I almost laughed. Of course it would be that way.
“Val,” said Grant, his tone wary. “Don’t do this.”
I turned to look at him. The sight of his handsome face only magnified my pain a thousand times.
He stepped toward me carefully. “Dying is not going to solve anything, Val.”
Fury gripped me. The words exploded from my throat. “I’m broken, Grant! Don’t you get it? I can’t be fixed. Death will solve everything! No more mistakes, no more hurt, no more pain.”
“You can’t—”
“Or you’ll what? Kill me?” I laughed. Life was pain. I had known that from the beginning.
Time to do what I did best.
Fuck everything up.
“I’ve been asking you to kill me since the day we met, which wasn’t that long ago. Days, actually. You think your cock is so magic to make me rethink my goals after having sex one time?”
The wind howled. Grant’s face went pale. “Don’t do this.”
My words were acid, disintegrating whatever had been between us and my heart all at once.
“I can do anything I want. We’re not mates, we’re not partners; we’re nothing but passing strangers.”
I gave in to the rage, the anger, the need for destruction. The knife sparked with power, power to stop the pain of my unfortunate existence.
I would end it all.
I plunged it into my heart.
But Grant moved.
His arms were around me, the tip of the knife barely touching the fabric of my chest. I struggled with him as he kept me from ending my life. It should have been no contest with his dragon strength, but this, this was my true destiny, and the knife, so close to completing its journey, was giving me the strength to fight him.
His voice was hushed and thick with emotion. “Val. Please.�
�
Tears fell unbidden from my eyes.
I struggled, but so did he.
We were at an impasse.
“Oh, isn’t this adorable,” said Sophie’s uncle, who appeared in front of us, Titania’s spear in his hands. Where had he gotten it from? What had happened to Hunter? “But two deaths will do just as well.”
He raised his hands.
Grant flung me from him.
I stumbled and scrambled to my feet, even as I realized that it would be too late.
Titania’s spear pinned Grant to the ground. It glowed with dark magic.
I screamed and looked at Sophie’s uncle, cutting a line of light through existence. “A single dragon’s death will work too.”
I rushed at Sophie’s uncle, but he stepped through and disappeared through the cut, which vanished after him.
I ran over to Grant. His skin was pale, and he couldn’t speak.
“No, no, no, no.” I hugged him to me. Already, he was several degrees cooler than he should be. “Grant!”
I tested the magic inside me. Still locked away.
Grant’s breathing slowed.
“You can’t die on me! I’m supposed to die! Not you, you…stupid!”
Desperation filled me. I grabbed on to his armor—and realized I still had the stiletto-turned-key.
Grant closed his eyes.
I was out of options. Except for this one.
I closed my eyes and plunged the stiletto into my heart.
14
I knew this door.
It was the door to my mother’s house. The one in Mexico that I had never been to, had only seen on social media, when she would post photos of the pink and yellow flowers she tended.
Only this door had no greenery, no flowers around it.
I took a wary step toward it, gravel crunching under my step.
The door unlatched and creaked open slightly.
“Valentina.”
I turned.
Grant stood there in his white suit. The outlines of him shimmered with fire.
Only it wasn’t pristine. It wasn’t perfect like it had been in life. It was dirty, tattered, and stained with blood.
Goddamn it, Grant wasn’t supposed to be here!
I walked over to him, intending to kick him in the shin or punch him or something, and found myself enfolded in his arms.
I shuddered. Hot tears fell from my face. “You’re a fucking idiot! Why the hell did you do that? What about your vengeance, your sister? How are you going to save Aurora when you’re dead?”
He stroked my hair. “Sometimes the role you think you are meant to have is the wrong one.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Rory is doing what she was meant to do. I wasn’t meant to save her.” His arms tightened around me, his voice a whisper. “I was meant to save you.”
The memory of pain surged within me, hot and visceral as it shouldn’t be in this place. I broke away from him. “I’m not yours to save.”
To my surprise, Grant knelt. He took my hand. There was a thin band of light on my wrist. Grant wore a matching one as if we were in some bizarre amusement park. My heart beat as if I were still alive. “Perhaps not. But I am yours.”
I knew I should take my hand away, because he didn’t mean it, not really, because…
He had given up his vengeance, his life, to save me.
And I knew why.
I killed a monster that couldn’t be killed the same way twice, and I did it, not just twice but three times.
My voice was so low it was almost a whisper. “You want me to go back and fight the Devourer.”
Grant looked at me in surprise.
And I realized the thought hadn’t even occurred to him.
But there was something else there, something else that made me feel as if I were on the edge of a precipice. I shook my head slowly. “You don’t even know me, Grant.”
A woman’s voice startled me. “Time is only a dimension. Entangled particles will forever be so, beginning, middle, and end.”
I turned and saw a pretty young Asian woman with white-tipped furry fox ears in some fancy, expensive dress.
I was totally bewildered, and by the looks of it, so was Grant. “Do I know you?”
“No, and that is as it should be. You’ve earned the right to your death, but you should go back, Val.”
I couldn’t. “But Grant… My mother…”
The fox lady’s voice was gentle. “Your mother forgave you a long time ago. Isn’t it time you forgave yourself for a wrong you were never responsible for?”
What if I did? What if I could have a life? What if I could have a life with Grant?
A strange calmness settled into me, warm and lulling. If Grant was with me…
But Grant had died.
I opened my eyes. “Not without Grant.”
Fox Lady’s expression became enigmatic. “He’s chosen his path. His doorway is waiting.”
White-hot rage surged through me. “That’s not fair! He sacrificed himself for me!”
“You are meant for death. And more.”
“And more? What’s that supposed to mean? Death is the end! I’m supposed to die!”
She shook her head, her dark hair swirling around her ears. “Words,” she grumbled. “So bad at the actual meaning of things. Yes, death is part of who you are, but you’re more than that now. Under the right pressure, common graphite becomes diamonds. You have become more than an ordinary human soul.”
“And what is that, exactly?”
“A guide,” said Grant.
“Like Anubis, Charon, and the Valkyries before you, your role is to guide others to the paths they are meant to be.”
I had watched a bad movie about warring ancient gods once, so I actually kind of knew what she was talking about.
“I’m not a death demon?”
She smiled. “You could have been. But you chose differently. And it is in our choices that we become who we are.”
She had the answers I had been looking for.
But none of it mattered now, because Grant was here, and he wasn’t coming back with me.
“You said I’m a guide. What if I refuse to guide Grant to his death?”
“Then he will remain in eternal Twilight, lost forever.”
“What if I remain here?”
She shook her head. “You know it doesn’t work that way.”
I put myself between the fox lady and Grant. “This can’t be. This isn’t right.”
He kissed me on my forehead. “I knew the consequences when I made my choice, Val. The world of the living can’t lose you. You have go back to help kill the Devourer once and for all.”
“You can’t leave me. You’re mine.”
Something on my wrist grew warm.
I looked at it.
A thin line of light and fire was tied around my wrist, a line which led…
To a similar loop around Grant’s wrist.
“He’s mine,” I repeated.
The line glowed again.
“No one may come and go as they please into the Twilight…save for those who belong, like you…and those who serve those who belong.”
“I am hers,” he said, looking into my eyes. “At her service, now and always.”
This time, light surrounded us.
15
When one returns from the death, sometimes it takes a while for the senses to adjust. Sometimes vision’s the first to return, and other times it’s a sense of smell, touch, or taste.
And sometimes it’s a strange mix of things.
My mouth tasted like a dark-skinned woman in a white dress standing on a green cliff singing a strange song to a stormy ocean.
I opened my eyes and saw the sounds of birds, red, yellow, and blue, so intricate and strangely symmetrical.
Cold kisses melted on my face.
I blinked. Snow drifted down from a dark sky.
And then all at once, the we
ight of gravity, of breath, of life, punched into me.
I choked and coughed, but gravity held me down. Had breathing always been this hard?
No, wait, it wasn’t just gravity.
It was something motherfucking heavy on top of me.
I looked.
“Grant!”
He raised his head.
I pushed at him and gasped. “Grant! I can’t breathe. You’re squishing me.”
Grant sat up. He was wearing his white suit, but I had never seen it so dirty before.
No, wait, I had.
Oh god, what had I done?
I scrambled to my feet, arms and legs aching, and looked around. We were in a snow-covered clearing, surrounded by pine trees dusted with white. In the center of the clearing, there was a small cabin, but one that could in no way be called rustic. With its wall of windows, it was a rich billionaire’s version of a cottage in the woods.
“Where the hell are we?”
Grant stood next to me. “Northern Canada. It’s…my place. This is where I come when I need to think.”
“You brought us here,” I said. “How?”
He ran his hands through his hair. “I guess I was thinking that I was sorry I never brought you here.”
I looked at him, bruised and imperfect.
We were alive. And I loved him.
Fuck.
Lights blazed on from the cabin, and I shielded my eyes. When I looked again, I realized we were facing an entire wall of windows. Inside, I could see a huge fireplace and a pool that seemed big enough for his dragon form.
We had literally gone through life and death together.
And he had pledged himself to me, I thought, in a weird sort of way.
It had been the only way to save him, but Grant would regret it. I knew he would because that’s just how things always happened. And when it ended, I would be destroyed.
I folded my arms. “Is this your bachelor fuck-pad?”
He raised an eyebrow and smiled. Heat sparked along my skin. Why did he have to be so good-looking? “Jealous?”
Yes. “No.”
He grabbed my hand and squeezed. “I’ve never brought anyone else here. Come on,” he said with a smile. My heart beat impossibly faster. “Let’s get out of the snow.”
* * *
Bonded to the Dragon: The Lick of Fire Collection: Dragon Lovers Page 13
