by Fleur Smith
Copyright © 2018 by Michelle Irwin writing as Fleur Smith
Cover Artist: Marissa at Cover me Darling Cover content used for illustrative purposes only, and any person depicted is a model. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales, is entirely coincidental. The following story is set in the UK and therefore has been written in UK English. The spelling and usage reflect that.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. To request permission and for all other inquiries, contact:
Michelle Irwin P O Box 671 MORAYFIELD QLD 4506 AUSTRALIA
www.fleursmith.com / [email protected]
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter One
A MURMUR OF excitement ran through the crowd in line around her, but Mariely’s heartbeat was steady as she edged toward the ticket processing. Her petite face was set in a stoic expression, a stark contrast to her soon-to-be fellow passengers.
The wind whipped around her face, bringing with it a fresh hit of briny ocean spray. It was teasing. Taunting. Just yards away from her and yet she was unable to escape.
“Now, Mary—”
She hated when Paddy called her that, but she was unable to complain, particularly standing among the crowd as they were.
“—don’t look so sad, it won’t be long now.”
Instead of responding, Mariely dreamed of running toward the ocean and diving headfirst into the salty depths. Paddy would never allow that though. Never set her free. She had to be obedient and follow his instructions. He was her husband, after all. Not only that, but he was her master, and she had to accept his wishes. Otherwise, she would have already stripped out of the white blouse and wide black skirt she’d dressed in that morning. She would be in the ocean, feeling the cool flows wash over her skin. She would’ve been halfway to her watery home.
Instead, she was on a dock, in a line, waiting to board a ship to a new life.
One she didn’t want.
One Paddy hoped would finally allow them to move on without the same doubts that had hovered over them for years. As if a few thousand miles and a new house in a far-off land could slake the yearning inside her.
To his credit, Paddy was trying to help. He would do everything possible to make her happy.
Everything but the one thing that would make her happiest of all.
The crowd surged forward again and carried her along with it. The buzz of excitement grew as P.S. Ireland, one of the two paddle steamers that would carry them all to the Titanic, launched from her dock with a smattering of first and second class passengers on deck, together with a few journalists.
For the last hour or so, Mariely had been poked and prodded, inspected and checked. Her hair had been examined for lice, her arms and body searched to ensure she had no obvious signs of infections or disease. The indignity of the inspection only added to her discomfort at the situation.
She was physically closer to the sea now than she had been in an age and yet felt further from it than ever. The longing to return to the depths grew stronger with every passing second. In her human form though, she wouldn’t survive more than a few minutes in the deep. The water would drag her down and fill her lungs. Although she would find peace, that peace would be her end.
She turned her gaze away from the water and toward her husband. As her eyes travelled over him, she tried to think of the positive things about him rather than the resentment that filled her to the brim. He was kind to her, at least as kind as she could expect while he held her prisoner. He was attractive enough, even with the smattering of freckles across his nose and shock of red hair. Certainly, he had charm such that he should have been able to find a wife the traditional way. Instead, he had chosen her.
Stolen her.
Paddy greeted a few of the men in the crowd standing on Heartbreak Pier. When he pushed Mariely forward and introduced her as Mary, using the name he’d given her when they’d married, she dropped her gaze to the ground under the pretence of deference. The reality was she didn’t want the disgust she was certain burned in her onyx irises to show. The men might get the wrong impression if they did.
The ocean drenched wood creaked beneath her feet as she followed the crowd out onto the pier.
“We’re nearly there,” Paddy said, as if she couldn’t see the looming paddle steamer, P.S. America, at the end of the pier or the steady stream of people in front of them loading onto her. “Things will be better when we get to America.”
She nodded.
“Chin up, love. There ain’t nothing to be sad about. Our new life awaits.”
She swallowed and nodded once more. “If you say so.”
Her feet carried her forward into the future while her mind lingered in the past. Back to the day her life had changed forever.
SHE’D BEEN dancing with her sisters on a rocky outcrop in a harbour while her parents relaxed in the nearby ocean in their animal form. She’d shed her seal-self and left her skin together with her sisters’. Being human for a few moments gave her the chance to feel the bite of the low Irish sun on skin sensitive enough to feel it. The rocks nipped at her toes, providing a sensation she couldn’t get as a seal. The wind whipped through her blonde locks, helping them dance the same way her limbs did as she giggled with her family.
The three girls danced in a circle, singing songs they’d heard from passing ships and when they’d braved a journey into a town.
Neither Mariely nor her family had seen Paddy and his two friends creeping closer to the carefree scene. They hadn’t heard the whispered discussions of disbelief and excitement until it was too late.
The three men appeared before the girls. Each of the women covered their exposed bodies with their arms as they shrank away from the men.
Mariely stepped further back, hiding behind her two sisters.
“Why are you here?” her eldest sister, Ciara, asked, squaring up to the biggest of the men.
“We came to fish and found ourselves wives instead,” he said.
Ciara extended her arms to guide both her sisters behind her. “We are not wives or fish. Neither are we fishwives. Now leave this place before you come to harm on the slippery rocks.”
The dark-haired man reached for her face and caressed her cheek with his palm. “Three women and three seal skins safely stowed away by the very men who have found new conquests.”
Ciara sneered at him.
“And I think I will claim you for myself because I like a strong woman.” His tongue slicked over his chapped lips after he spoke.
A shiver ran through Mariely at the glint of madness in his eyes
The blond man standing directly beside him laughed cruelly.
“You can’t do this,” Aibreann, the middle sister, said, stepping around Ciara as it became clear she was losing control of the situation.
“And why not?” the blond man asked. “That is the law of your people, isn’t it?”
“What people would that be?” Mariely snapped, feeling emboldened by her sisters’ fight.
“Selkies.” The guy who had been holding back met
her gaze as he spoke up. His cheeks were almost as red as his hair when he said, “I recognised what ya were from yer beauty and dancing.”
“You can’t just steal a bride,” Mariely shot back at him.
“Unfortunately, they can,” Ciara said. “If they have stolen our skin, we cannot return to the ocean and our traditions dictate that we belong to them.”
“I belong to no one!” Aibreann snapped.
The blond man sneered at her. “You belong to me.” He reached out and grabbed her arm, drawing her to him.
She smacked her hand across his cheek.
“You’re gonna be fun.” He grinned at her as he dragged her into his hold before wrapping his arms around her.
Ciara leapt toward the pair, clearly trying to tear her sister out of her captor’s arms. Only, she didn’t make it very far before the man with the dark hair gripped her arm and pulled her back. He wrapped his arms around her and dragged her away despite the screams echoing from all three girls.
The image of the man dragging Ciara away burned in Mariely’s memory. That was the last time she’d seen her sisters. The last memory she had of her sisters was them fading into the distance with nothing but their screams reaching her before Paddy offered her a blanket as he walked her back to his house.
In the years since, she had seen the blond and dark-haired man once or twice, but not either of her sisters. She hadn’t asked about them because she hadn’t wanted to risk Paddy’s ire. Despite the men’s words on the day she’d lost her sisters, Mariely had been left with the impression that neither of them was married.
“STOP YA daydreaming, love.”
Mariely suppressed a sigh as she shuffled forward to catch up with the crowd of steerage passengers. How could she not daydream when she was standing so near her beloved sea? It called to her and reminded her of the things she had lost.
She stepped onto the deck of the P.S. America and took a deep breath. The April breeze picked up a little more as Paddy guided her further onto the paddle steamer. He positioned her near the middle of the ship and stood guard, arranging himself in a way that would allow him to block anyone from talking to her.
With her chin to her chest, she settled in for the short journey to the bigger ship.
Paddy reached out and cupped her cheek.
“This is for the best.” He echoed the words he’d said the day he’d started planning for their journey on the Titanic.
If only she could believe him.
Chapter Two
MARIELY HAD THOUGHT the paddle steamer was big. Certainly bigger than any transportation she had been on before.
It was nothing on the sheer scale of the Titanic that loomed closer with every yard that passed beneath them.
“I need a closer look,” she said as she rushed to the side of the paddle steamer. Between the salt that coated her skin, the pipes being played by a gentleman aboard the tender, and the sight of the ginormous ship in front of her, she felt more alive than she had in years. The sounds of the pipes carried her back to her youth, to the strains that used to echo in the night while she travelled with her family around the coasts north of their home.
Paddy gripped her elbow and led her closer to the edge of the steamer.
She ignored the hold he had on her and focused on the bulk of navy blue steel that towered over their ship. Her eyes widened, and her breaths sped. The ship was larger than anything she had ever seen before. And it would house them for the next week—a home for Paddy and a prison for her. So close to the ocean she wanted, but far enough away that it might as well be a different world.
“Are ya happier now that you can see her?” an exuberant Paddy whispered in her ear as he slipped in behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and drew her back closer to his chest.
Although she knew what he wanted her to say, she couldn’t lie. “It’s still a long time to be on the open ocean and not be able to swim.”
He dropped his hold. “It’s not even a week, and then we can start over.”
“It won’t change anything.” It was something she’d said a thousand times since the day he’d come home from work with a spring in his step before declaring he’d spent the bulk of their savings on two tickets.
He spun her around to face him.
From the wild look in his green eyes, it was clear she’d pushed him too far.
He glanced around him to ensure there was no one in their direct vicinity. “Why won’t you try to be happy?”
She locked eyes with him. “Do you honestly believe I haven’t tried?”
“No, I don’t believe ya have.” He flexed his jaw, and she saw him close off the places inside that held his compassion for her.
“Do you think I would choose to feel like this?” She dropped her gaze to the deck so that she didn’t have to look at him while he unleashed the darkness that lived within him. “Do you think I want to feel so empty?”
“You’ve done nothing but complain despite all the things I’ve given ya.” He pinched her upper arms between his bony fingers. “What would ya have me do?” He shook her to emphasise his words. “Throw ya overboard so you can die alone at sea?” As soon as the words were free, he shoved her away from him and dropped his hands to his side. “I know ya think I trapped ya, but the truth is, love, I saved ya from a far worse fate.”
She wasn’t sure such a thing existed but nodded anyway. It was easier not to argue with him, or his reaction would likely be even worse.
The paddle steamer drew alongside the Titanic, and a gangway was set up between the two ships. The steady procession that had started on the dock began again as people clamoured to board the “ship of dreams.”
Mariely fell into line behind Paddy as the excited murmurs continued around her. Shoes scuffed against the freshly polished floors, and men groaned under the weight of what remained of their possessions—many bringing everything with them as they sought new lives. She and Paddy were no different; only they owned less so brought less. They shared one great canvas bag Paddy hauled over his other shoulder.
As Mariely walked behind Paddy, another woman caught her attention. The older woman had a young child held against her chest and four other boys gripping her skirt as they walked in a tight huddle. Two of the eldest boys carried a knapsack each, likely containing the possessions of the whole family. The corners of the woman’s lips tipped downward, and sorrow rested heavy on her brow. As soon as the mother and her children reached the ship, Mariely lost track of her among the crowd. Particularly as Paddy grabbed her arm and dragged her in the opposite direction toward one of the stairways.
“I think our cabin is this way,” Paddy said, using his hold to drag her at his other side. All along the hallways in front of them, doors opened and closed as new passengers found their cabins or existing ones took leery glances at the newest arrivals who would be sharing the rest of their journey.
Two young boys giggled as they ran between her and Paddy. One of them pushed her skirt aside as he ran by.
“Eric. George.” The woman who had caught Mariely’s attention earlier ran after the two. “Come back here this instant.”
Mariely smiled at the haggard mother, imaging what it must be like to have children who required constant care. To have people who would rely on her for love and affection, but who also demanded so much attention.
She had never been blessed, or perhaps cursed, with a living child. If she had, it would’ve been another tie to the land, and to Paddy. She didn’t need one more of those.
“My apologies,” the woman said as she walked past with the two boys in tow.
Mariely gave her a warm smile. “It’s not a problem.”
She lifted her gaze to find Paddy staring at her. The corners of his eyes were pinched, and his expression was unreadable.
Assuming she’d done something he wasn’t happy with, she stared at the floor again and fell back into line behind him.
He slowed until he was walking at her side. “Maybe once we get to our
new home, we will have some more luck?”
His words, together with the image of the boys running and laughing, dredged up images of the losses she’d suffered over the last two years. Each time she had discovered she was pregnant, it was on the same day it ended in heartbreak.
When the losses happened, she had felt a pang of longing, then the sensation that perhaps it was for the best before finally the guilt set in for having thought that way.
“If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen,” she said, mumbling the words she’d told herself before. Of course, she saw the flipside as readily. If she wasn’t able to produce a child from their union, it was clearly not meant to be. That was one more thought to solidify her desire to be free of the chains of their marriage.
Only, to escape without her skin—without the ability to change back to her other form—would be tantamount to a death sentence. She would be unable to return to the sea and would instead be cast into the world as another unmarried waif, relying on the kindness of strangers for her survival.
And in her personal experience, strangers were rarely kind.
She trailed along at Paddy’s side while he found his way down to their berth in the stern of the ship. Their footsteps were muffled throughout the long corridors by the voices and busyness around them. Mariely wondered whether they were perhaps heading in the wrong direction. The area around them was finer than she had expected steerage would be. She had anticipated blank walls and dreary fixtures. Instead, the walls were a light-beige and the wooden floor planks shined with polish.
A steward with dark brown hair and inquisitive eyes stared at her as she closed in on his position. He stepped out as they reached him, stopping Paddy to learn their cabin number. Mariely stood with baited breath as she waited for them to be told to leave the fine areas and get directed to another, lesser, part of the ship. Instead, he smiled and pointed Paddy toward the staircase with a set of directions. It felt as though his gaze followed Mariely intently as she passed him. She couldn’t confirm though as her own eyes stared steadfastly at the joins in the wooden planks on the floor in front of her.
