by Fleur Smith
“You regret settling so early?”
“Settling at all. Marriage was never part of my plan even after I was already married.”
“A loveless marriage is not the easiest thing.” The earnest way Maggie said the words had Mariely questioning the other woman’s life. She had five boys after all, she must have been married.
“Is your marriage—” She cut herself off as Maggie’s lips turned downward and a frown marred her brow.
“My husband died a little over two years ago.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any harm.”
“I know you didn’t. It hasn’t been easy on the boys, or on me. It did give me the opportunity to return home though. And to realise that Queenstown is no longer that for me.”
“How do you know where you belong?”
“That’s an interesting question. For me, it was the place where I felt myself.”
Mariely considered her words.
Maggie rested her hand on Mariely’s arm.
“It seems to me that your heart is being torn in two and the only way to be happy is to find a way to put the two pieces together.”
“Do you think that is even possible? What I want is . . .” Mariely trailed off and frowned. “Well, it’s like a different world to the one Paddy lives in.”
“I think I understand that a little more than you might expect. My William was not what I had thought I would want when I was a wee child. Over time though, I learned to suppress the parts of myself that longed for freedom.”
“How?”
She nodded toward the boys running around the deck. “The more love I had to share, the less my heart was torn.”
Mariely turned to watch the water. She couldn’t voice her losses or the fact that she wasn’t sure having a child would help relieve her desire to be back in the ocean.
Although Mariely hadn’t said anything, Maggie gave Mariely’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “My beliefs dictate marriage ‘til death do you part’ but sometimes death isn’t physical and we have to make our own opportunities.”
Mariely ran the statement through her head a few times, but didn’t get a chance to ask exactly what Maggie had meant because she’d already excused herself to round up her boys.
As Mariely stood considering the words, it struck her that there was truth to Maggie’s words. Maybe she didn’t know Mariely’s situation, but that didn’t matter.
For the rest of the day, her mind turned over the possibility of escape. After all, there would never be a better time for Mariely to fight for her freedom than during the boat ride.
Everything important to Paddy, everything they owned, was packed up and in the cabin with them. It was incredibly possible that her seal skin was packed away just a few floors beneath her feet. She didn’t think he would have left it behind where anyone else might have been able to steal it and claim ownership of her.
Throughout dinner and into the night, her thoughts continued to vacillate between escape and acceptance of her lot. As Maggie had said, Mariely and Paddy had sworn to a marriage that would last until death did them part. For her part though, she had sworn to a deity she didn’t believe in. Despite the faith the few people around her showed in God, she had no desire to turn her back on her heritage and instead prayed to the old gods.
As she woke the next morning, one thing became increasingly clear—if she was going to make a play to escape, she had to succeed. She wouldn’t get a second chance.
Chapter Five
FOR THE ENTIRE next day, Paddy followed Mariely around without reprieve. It was almost as if he had understood from her actions or from some new determination in her eyes that she was thinking about making a break. She had no idea how he could know her choice though.
Although she saw Maggie around, wrestling with her boys, Mariely didn’t have another opportunity to talk to her or thank her for pushing her in the direction of escape. Instead, she followed Paddy’s every request like the dutiful wife she was expected to be. It would be easier to lull him into a false sense of security that way.
She smiled at the appropriate times, ate when directed, and pretended to be content. It took all of her patience and she had to bite her tongue on a number of occasions.
Her obedience even went as far as to attend one of the parties with him on Saturday night. She didn’t dance or interact with anyone else as Paddy drank and gambled with two men he’d befriended. Instead, she sat motionless with her hands on the table in front of her and a stoic expression back on her face.
After they’d left the common room, there was a moment of tender affection when he led her to the Poop Deck to enjoy the stars. The night was still and almost silent. A shiver ran through her at the beauty of it all and the way it called to ancient parts of her. Paddy offered her his jacket and she didn’t have the heart to tell him she wasn’t shivering from the cold. That little moment alone might have been enough to persuade her to stay for a while longer, if the call of the ocean didn’t grow louder by the minute.
Her patience paid off on Sunday afternoon.
“Are ya gonna be okay if I go to the smoking room with the lads? Maybe you can go for a walk on the deck.”
Mariely tried not to seem too eager as she agreed to go for a walk in the ocean air. “I’ve been missing the taste of the ocean in the air,” she said. The words flowed easily as there wasn’t a lie in them. She’d barely had any time alone while she’d played the role of a doting wife.
Paddy walked her to the elevator and she lifted the corners of her lips in a pleasant but not genuine smile as they made plans for him to meet her before dinner.
She stepped into the elevator with her fellow passengers and waved to Paddy as the operator pulled the doors shut and raised the lift. As soon as the doors opened at the top, Mariely rushed onto the deck.
Worried that Paddy might check on her to ensure she’d followed his request, she went to the railing and stood watching the ocean. Despite the look of peace she was trying to keep on her face, her mind raced and her heart thumped hard enough to echo through her body. She counted down in her head, wanting to ensure at least five minutes had passed before she went below deck to search for her freedom.
After the time had elapsed, she took some steeling breaths of the cold, salty air. Her heart raced faster than ever as she turned from the ocean to rush to the cabin.
She just had to do it fast.
Mariely dodged around the people on the deck as she made her way to the stairs. She could have taken the elevator, but she wasn’t patient enough to wait for it. Plus, that was where Paddy had left her and there was a chance he was near it.
She arrived at her cabin and panicked when she wasn’t able to open the door.
With a glance up and down the hall, panic built within her. How was she going to get inside?
She paced up and down the hallway as she tried to figure out a way into her room. If Paddy had locked it, she couldn’t get the key from him. He would suspect why she wanted it and she wouldn’t get the opportunity to explore the room alone.
It wasn’t long before she found a steward who oversaw the steerage cabins.
“Excuse me,” she said, trying to appear as innocent as possible. “My husband is in the smoking room and has the key for our cabin. Would you be able open the door for me?”
He looked her over, his dark eyes narrowed and his frown pressed into a hard line.
“Please, I just need to find something before meeting him in the dining room. You’ll be saving me a lot of problems.”
After a little more coaxing she managed to convince him to unlock the door. Although she worried that too much time might have already passed and Paddy might come looking for her.
Despite that worry, she entered their cabin and began her search. She started with his luggage, carefully shifting each item out of the way to see if she could find her seal skin—a thin shimmering membrane that allowed her transformation.
She was onto the third case when someone cleared t
heir throat behind her.
Her heart leapt into her throat as she spun around in a guilty rush.
“I shoulda known this was yer plan,” Paddy said. A strong scent of whiskey was like a cloud around him. “The first time ya have to yerself, ya try to escape.”
Her cheeks heated as she stood near him. “I need my freedom.”
“Ya really want to turn yer back on everything I want for us? Everything I’ve done for ya?”
She stared at the floor rather than meeting his gaze. There were so many things she wanted to say, but it would simply be rehashing the same argument over and over again. Instead, she swallowed her fear and said, “Yes,” in a whispered admission.
“Ya really hate me that much?” A quiver ran through his voice as he asked the question.
Despite convincing herself that she hated him, she couldn’t force herself to say the word to confirm his worries. She couldn’t even stand to look at him and see the effect of her betrayal. After taking a steeling breath, she added, “I need the ocean. I’m suffocating.”
“I need to be alone.” There was a broken quality to his tone that forced her to lift her gaze.
Once more, Mariely saw how much he loved her, but that wasn’t enough to make her want to stay.
“Just get out of here,” he growled slamming his hand into the door.
“So you still won’t set me free?”
“Get out!”
She darted from the room and ran up onto the deck. She took the stairs two at a time, pushing past the couples and families coming below for the dinner service. When she burst onto the deck, she raced toward the back of the boat—rushing as if she intended to dive headlong over the railing and into the ocean below.
The speed of her retreat was enough for her to smash against the railing with an audible exclamation.
As the adrenaline of the fight and her run wore off, she had to hold the rail to keep herself upright. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to force the echo of Paddy’s pain from her ears and the sight of his broken expression from her mind’s eye.
Her breath was choppy as she ran through the argument over and over in her head. She was trying to calm her racing mind and thumping heart. It took far too long to calm herself completely.
From the corner of her eye, she saw Maggie move toward the railing as if in a trance—staring out into the distance as her lips moved wordlessly. The woman’s face was pale and tremors raced across her body.
All thoughts of Paddy and the fight they’d had disappeared as her focus fell onto Maggie. Her boys were nowhere in sight.
“Is there something the matter, Maggie?” Mariely asked, edging closer to her friend.
“An enemy lies in wait,” the other woman replied—her voice almost inaudible as she spoke in a trance-like whisper. Her eyes were unfocused, staring out into the distance. “Hidden in the mirror but discovered before the dawn.”
Mariely rested her hand on Maggie’s. “What did you say?”
Maggie shook her head and her eyes grew focused. She reached for Mariely’s arm and clutched tight. “You have to save them.” She drew in a deep gasp.
“What?”
“Something is going to happen. You have to save them.”
“Save who?”
“All of them.” She dragged Mariely away from all of the other passengers.
The strange behaviour sent Mariely’s nerves on edge again. “What are you doing up here alone?”
“I had one of my headaches,” Maggie said. Her words were starting to make more sense and she was noticeably calmer. Or at least, the urgency had passed into an almost calm resignation.
“What sort of headache? Do you need me to fetch a doctor?”
“No. I just need you to promise me that you’ll be careful.”
Mariely glanced over her shoulder, trying to see whether there was something Maggie could see that she didn’t understand.
“Please, Mariely, you have to promise me. If something happens, I’ll need you”
“You’re scaring me, Maggie.”
Maggie closed her eyes as tremors raced through her again. “I have to go. Come find me when things go wrong.” The moment the words were out, she turned and ran back across the deck, aiming for the stairs.
Mariely chased after her, stopping when Paddy appeared at the top of the stairs, flanked by two men. One was a guy he’d been drinking with earlier, the other was the Steward who had helped her break into her cabin.
Maggie slipped past them without being stopped, but Mariely didn’t want to risk trying to follow her. Paddy pointed in Mariely’s direction and nodded.
Her eyes widened as her heart sped and her breath left her chest in a rush. Although she had no idea what he wanted, or why he had backup, her instincts screamed that it was time to run.
She took a couple of steps backward, but didn’t have much room between her and the railing. With her hands behind her back, she reached for the railing. Her fingers scraped across the smooth wood surface as she struggled to find purchase.
Before she could say anything, not that she knew what to say, Paddy inclined his head in her direction. “That’s the one.”
His voice was slurred and it was clear enough that he had resumed drinking after their fight.
The two other men surrounded her, one closing in from either side. Paddy couldn’t even meet her gaze.
“W-what’s happening?” she tried to get his attention.
One of the men put his hand on her shoulder. His eyes assessed her as if trying to absorb every detail and commit it all to memory. “Your husband lost his bet.”
Paddy’s shoulders were slumped as he stared at the deck.
The other man, the one who had helped her not even an hour earlier, spoke. “And he’s offered your services for the rest of our journey to repay the debt.”
Mariely twisted away from the man’s touch. “I am not a prize to be passed around.”
“She’s feisty.”
The words and the action of the men around her were too much of a reminder of the day she’d lost her sisters. Both men reached for her at the same time, one grabbed at her waist and the other gripped her arm.
Something bubbled up inside of her and she snapped. “Get your hands off me!”
The guy to her left raised his hand, as if intending to slap her, but Paddy lifted his gaze to stare at her before uttering one word. “Stop.”
The two other men stopped what they were doing and stared at him.
“That’s enough,” he added. “Leave us.”
With stern nods, they turned their backs on the pair. Mariely didn’t track their path as they left.
“What was that about?” she demanded.
“That is what yer life will be like if yer wish comes true. Ya will be passed from owner to owner.”
“If I am freed, I will be my own owner.”
“Until the next time ya come ashore. Ya can’t deny yer nature, Mary. Eventually ya will return to dance in the moon like ya did every year for so long. Maybe not right away, but at some point. And then ya will be vulnerable. I just wanna save ya from that future.”
She gaped at him before curling her fingers into fists. “What would you know about my nature? How dare you assume anything about me?”
“Ya can think what ya like, it doesn’t change what ya are, or what I know. It won’t change the time I spent returning to the same beach on the same night year after year after year, watching ya dance with yer sisters. Watching the moonlight play on your skin as you twirled around. It won’t erase the hours I spent asking everyone I could imagine about the selkie legends just to learn a little more about ya. Most of all, it won’t change the fact that I saved ya from a fate worse than death the day I took ya, and the way ya have repaid me is with hatred and scorn even though I’ve only ever given ya love.”
She stood blinking at him, trying to think what to say to his admission. There were so many pieces that didn’t make sense, and trying to put them together
painted a picture she didn’t want to acknowledge.
As the puzzle slowly formed in her mind, Paddy dealt the final blow. “I’ll let ya free, if only to make ya happy. If ya really want that, meet me here in two hours and I’ll return what’s yours.” Once the words were free, he slunk away—shoulders hunched and frown firmly set.
Mariely was completely lost for words.
Chapter Six
FOR THE BETTER part of the day, Paddy had been drinking.
The more he drank, the wilder his schemes grew. That was how he’d settled on the plan to scare Mary into staying with him. If she could see how helpless she would be in the world, maybe she would understand the protection he could offer.
Of course, he was instead surprised by her unwillingness to back down.
Between her stubborn refusal to submit and the way he had straightened his life up to be what she’d needed, he wondered whether perhaps he had it the wrong way around the whole time. Perhaps it had been her who had saved him and not the other way around.
As that realization had permeated through his body, tearing pieces from his heart and twisting around his insides, he had offered her what she wanted.
He feared what his life would be without her in it—lonely. Empty. Imbued with alcohol and gambling rather than anything noble. It would likely be worse than even he could imagine because he’d had her as part of him for so long he wasn’t sure he could survive without her. Not like a limb—he could lose an arm or a leg easier than giving her up—but rather like a vital organ.
By returning her skin and setting her free, he was tearing his own heart out of his chest and laying it on a silver platter for her to destroy.
And despite that, he was certain it would be worth it.
Perhaps she would in time return to the same beaches and grace the world with her beauty.
At the thought, a fresh pang raced through him. He would be on the other side of the world, in New York or somewhere else on that continent as he tried to make a new life for himself. He had barely been able to afford the trip one way after all, there was no possibility of finding the funds for a return trip. Particularly when he would then need to cover the debts he had incurred to save her life.
