CHAPTER XVII.
A HOUSE WARMING.
A skilled artisan in the employment of the local authorities had beenfor many days surveying and diagramming, until a certain area of the oldplantation remote from the mansion was arranged in geometrical figures,scientifically corespondent to each other, and there were curves andangles artistically precise. If the reader will place before him aminiature flag of the Turkish empire, the alignment of the tenements ofthe negroes will be seen, the concave line of the crescent indicatingthe position of the modest little houses of the freedmen, and the starthe position of the stately mansion of Mr. Alexander Wiggins, a formerslave of Colonel Seymour.
Up to the time of this unblushing trespass upon the private domain ofColonel Seymour, and indeed afterwards, the negroes, like rodents, hadburrowed in colonies in old dank cellars and where ever else they couldfind rest and shelter. This unhappy condition, post-dating the surrenderat Appomattox, had a demoralizing effect upon them. They becamespiritless and languid, or else vicious and vindictive. They felt thatfreedom was an illusion, an ignis fatuus that they had been recklesslypursuing, that lured them further into an impenetrable morass. In theexcited state of their ignorant minds they had been indulging feverishand extravagant projects; chimerical notions of wealth andaggrandizement, and again like inert bodies they would drop lifelesslyinto the very depths of despair. It is impossible just now for the mostactive imagination to conceive a condition of human society morewretched. The sympathies of the old masters were moved; their humanityshocked; their very hearts grieved at the injustice done under thedirection of the freedman's bureau in this violent and forced state ofthings.
"An outrage," exclaimed the Colonel, "long matured, maliciously devised,and boldly perpetrated. Fanatics! you have emancipated by fraud andviolence the slaves you affect to pity; you have doomed them to beggary,outlawry, prostitution and crime! You have filled them with discontentand made them to feel a chain they never felt before, and turned againstthem the care and consideration of their own masters, while your redsquadrons of fanaticism are careering wildly through our plantations, solately scourged by the hurricane of war; you the minions of a powerconfessedly omnipotent. Will you, too, destroy the Doric edifice of ourmorals, the Corinthian porticoes of our religion, stifle thedenationalizing stream until it swells in great tides of blood? When theincendiary is lightning his torch, and the vultures are looking on withfelon eyes, may the holy memories of the past give you pause."
Thus spoke the old man in the eloquence of high-wrought feeling, for hiscountry; for the poor negroes who, like bats and owls, were peoplingdens and holes of darkness in this "land of the free and home of thebrave."
On the night of the 15th of September the elegant mansion of Mr.Wiggins, the pampered slave of Laflin, lay smiling and smirking inbeautiful frescoes from turret to foundation stone; astral lamps hung inrich festoons, shimmered from dome and window and verandah, lighting upthe broad pebbly avenues that rayed out from the central vestibule.
It was a night of surprises, of merriment, of revelry, of rivalries;when the bat and owl came out of their hollow, the cat out of its lair,the negro out of his cabin, the ku-klux out of his skin. It was a nightthat punctuated reconstruction with a red-hot iron, and dropped its deadashes upon a score of hearth-stones. It was a night that stealthilyremoved the fifth wheel from the chariot of the bosses and dropped itsinert body into the road.
Ah! there were surprises! Corporal Ephraim Gillum was to take untohimself a wife, and Priscilla Pinxly, a spinster, was to take untoherself husband. No doleful Jeremiads in this carnival; no forbidding ofbanns; no scandal on religion; no trespass on the law. "Ef dat ar whitegal is a mine ter jine hersef ter dat cullud gemman, who's ergwine terhender?"
There were ferns and smilax, hollies and magnolias; there was an altarembellished with carnations, red and white; who shall say it wasprofaned by this ceremonial? There were heavily groined parlors reposingin velvety carpets, bric-a-brac and rugs. Here were the minions ofreconstruction in red, white and blue, the favorites of thisinstitutional era; here were the animated beauties of the townbedizened, bejeweled and beflowered; here was the pompous celebrant inpatent-leather slippers and dress coat, Elder Tuttle, paying court tothe ladies.
Here was the bride, a very spare lady in the forties, with fishy eyesand gold spectacles. Here was the groom, as black as an antarcticmidnight, reposing uncomfortably in a celluloid collar that cut atransverse line through both cheeks, dressed in blue uniform with yellowepaulets upon his shoulders as large as sunflowers; here were the batsand owls, human earth burrowers, who were not wanted at the weddingsupper, peeping slyly in the windows; here was Mrs. Parthenia Wigginsin silks and satins, and her lord in satins and silks; here was Joshuaan octogenarian in regimentals, looking like a revolutionary drum majorin masquerade, greeting the happy hostess with the exclamation:--"Pendpon it, your ladyship, I smelt dat barbeku clean clar to my house foreit was kilt," pausing now and then in his circuit around the suppertable, to cut "de pigon whing;" here was old Hannah, in hoops andfrills, "er following Joshua, frustated lak, kase some gal or udder moutrun erway wid him unbeknownist to her;" here was old Ned "er settin inder chimney corner all by his lone lorn sef;" and then here was askeleton at the feast, a spectre at the banquet, who greeted neitherhost, groom or bride----a living knight of the "White Camelia." Thenthere was a pause; then there was a proclamation by the host: "All handseround fur de fust kertillien," and there was a voluntary shuffling ofslippered, sandalled and booted feet. Then the music struck up and allwent merry as a marriage bell. Castanets and cymbals, cornets andtrombones, distributed huge chunks of melody, chopped off the "StarSpangled Banner," "Rally around the flag boys," "The Girl I left behindme," and "Brudder Ephrum got de coon and gone on."
As the dance went on and on in the great hall the Kuklux slipped out ofthe shadows and into the parlor and concealed himself behind theembowered altar. Ned, at his suggestion, stole into the dining room, andtaking the cover off of the basted pig, brought it out and gave it tothe hideous creature, and still the dance went on. With uplifted handMr. Wiggins cried "Tention ladies und gemman's. All you who's inwited tothe weddin follow me to the parlor," and the band struck up "Johnny getyour gun." "Come parson, you shassay in fust," and the parson struckout in an Irish reel, and the crowd followed like flotsam upon a currentof water, tossing here and there, up and down, automatically, to themusic.
"Now breddin und sistern," exclaimed the parson in a nasal sing-song,"range erlong side de haltar whilst I spaciate upon dis weddin. Now den,fustly und foremustly, who gin dis bride away?"
"I does" replied Mr. Wiggins, pompously stepping to the front.
"Well, den, I'll persede wid de sallymony. Fustly und foremostly, I'magwine in my sebenty seben year, please God I lives to see de harvestmoon, und I has been a exhauster, und locus preacher, und surkus rider,und slidin elder fust und last, und I've jined black ones und yallowones und yallow ones und black ones, und now I'm agwine ter jine a whiteund black one togedder in de yoke of bondage, und in the bonds ofpurgertory, ef I haint upset fore I gits froo by de kommisserys ob dedebbil."
"Land sakes alive!" ejaculated Joshua, as he brought his hollow jawstogether with a resounding crash, "Don't talk about de kommissery,parson; I'm hungry rite now."
"Now den, ef der is any pusson or debbil, here or here erbout, who isagwine to nullify dis weddin, I commands dem ter hold dere peace forebermo."
Instantly a hooded figure of gigantic stature, clad in a gown ofdragons' tongues, with small red lanterns burning in the socket of hiseyes, arose behind the parson. The audience, first paralyzed with fear,now gave shriek after shriek which filled the house, as he gave anunearthly yell and with the basted pig cudgelled the black parson overthe head as he leaped with a frantic cry into the bosom of thespectacled bride, and then through glass and shutter out of the window.
"Kuklux! Kuklux!" shrieked the terrified negroes, as in desperation theyfled out of the house.
Joshua, in
his frantic efforts to escape, ran his head against a heatedstove and red hot coals of fire were scattered over rug, carpet andfloor. As the last society lady somersaulted out of the window, greattongues of fire were lapping up frieze and cornice, and facade, and thecresent and star disappeared in a ghastly cincture of fire.
As Jake the Kuklux was passing near the cabin of Joshua the nextmorning, on his way to the dark recesses of the swamp, he heard groansand incoherent exclamations that caused him to knock at the door and askwhat was the matter. No answer came, but the groans were louder and morefrequent. He opened the door and entered. Joshua was lying on the bedswathed in red flannel and Hannah, with a bandanna tied around her head,was tossing to and fro in an old rickety chair, holding her jaw in bothhands.
"Hello!" exclaimed the Kuklux, "What ails you folkses."
"Who dat a woicing dat lamentashun?" cried Joshua. "Go lang away wid yuwhite man, I aint agwine to be pestered," he continued.
"Hi there Aunt Hannah, what ails you?"
"Oh my Lord!" exclaimed Hannah, amid her groans. "Go lang way frum heerI haint agwine to put mysef on ekality wid no low down white trash lakyou is." And Hannah kept sea-sawing in the rickety chair. Jake took aslouching stride toward the fire-place and making the letter V with hisfingers spat in the fire and accidentally overturned a stew pan in whichtwo or three small catfish were cooking.
"Fo my King! white man," exclaimed Hannah wrathfully, "What hes yu gonund dun now? I wishes yu would stay outen dis house. Now whar isJoshaway agwine to git his supper er me udder?"
This lamentation caused Joshua to unswathe the bandage about his eyesand he groaned louder and longer. "Dem was de onliest mouffel ob wittlesin dis house, und now me und Hannah hes got ter suck de fingers twell degood Lord send us mo," he exclaimed mournfully.
"You lay dar spectin de Lord to send you mo, und you will be stark nakedas a picked ginny hen," said Hannah.
Jake squinted his right eye as he drawled out:
"You knows Aunt Hannah dat de Lord does feed his lambs, don't you."
"How cum Joshaway enny of his lambs? Mouter say he is de debbils oldbilly gote," answered Hannah savagely.
"Kase I is one of his lambs," said Joshua. "How cums I goes to Filadelfymeeting-house ebery fourth Sunday, und how cums I courages de moners,und how cums I goes to de baptizin und totes de passons gown? Tell medat."
"Ugh! Ugh!" grunted Hannah; "I nebber seed de lams cutting up sichshines in a grate house lak yu dun las nite; yu went to de weddin,didn't yu Joshaway? Und yu seed de kommissery ob de debbil; did yu seede Lord's lambs dare? und yu set yo mouf for de barbeku, didn't yu, undyu seed a harrykane too, didn't yu?"
"Oh, yu go erlong way frum here," said Joshua, "I natally spises deseheer biggity niggers dat is tarnally butting up agen de good Lord'sjedgements. You is fell frum grace, dat's what yu done," replied Joshuadeprecatingly.
"Is?" ejaculated Hannah. "Und yu fell frum something last nite. What wasdat?"
"Now dat dere tantalizing nigger thinks I fell outen de window, but Iclumb down de jice, dat is what I dun," angrily replied the old negro.
"When you seed de bride und de passon und de tother lams lak yu,Joshaway? tell me dat!" continued old Hannah provokingly.
"Nuff sed Hannah, yu dun und sot my po hed er akin wusser. You is dedebbils own billy gote not me."
Reaching down into his greasy haversack the Kuklux brought out a greatchunk of barbecue, and flourished it around old Joshua's head like amusician's baton.
"Dar now Hannah, what I tole yu, you sees whar my fafe is, don't yu?"said Joshua smiling. "Don't de Scriptur sez how dat ef yu hes fafe, efyu hes fafe," he repeated with emphasis, "you can tote away mountains,tell me dat?"
"It mout," answered Hannah quizzically, "und den agin it mout'nt. Do hitsay anyfing erbout barbyku?" continued Hannah, "Tell me dat."
"Oh, go long, nigger," tartly answered Joshua; "I haint ergwine terargify de question no mo wid a debilish nigger dat actally mistrusts debible; yu is dun und sot in yo ways, und all Filadelfy church aintergwine ter save yu, nudder."
"Not ef it is ergwine ter preach dat dar kind ob fafe. I wudn't put nopendence in de slidin elder ef he was to say pine plank dat dat darbarbyku is in de bible."
"Don't de scriptur say how dat a passel ob horgs broke er loose outen degap und run down er hill und choked up de sea? Tell me dat? Und whatdoes yu make barbeku outen? Catfishes I spose!" asked Joshuacontemptuously.
Hannah turned her back upon the old negro with the observation, "You iser black satan kotin de scriptur."
And all the time the musician's baton was marking curves around oldJoshua's head, and Joshua's hollow eyes, as if under the spell of amesmerist, were moving mechanically right and left, left and right,while his great mouth was yawning like a cavern in a red marl pit.
"Boss," he exclaimed, "ef yu eber specks tu giv me ary mouful ob dat arbarbyku, fur de Lawd's sake drap hit rite inter dis heer mouf," and hebrought his old jaws together with a resounding crash, like an alligatorbiting at a leaping frog.
The ku-klux, without further teasing, gave the big chunk of meat toJoshua, who devoured it like a starved dog.
"Haint yu ergwine ter give me nun?" asked Hannah.
Joshua slowly replied between bites,
"Yu is got er gripin misery now, Hanner, und ef yu wuz ter your dispeppery stuff und tuck wid a gripin pain, I'd neber hear de eend ob it.De nex time I'm ergwine ter give yu a grate big hunk, perwidin yu haintgot no gripin misery ur nuffin," he continued as he gnawed the lastpiece of gristle from the bone.
"Boss," he observed, as he wiped his capacious mouth, "ef I hadn't binticed erway by dat nigger sea-sawin ober dar, I wudn't er bin in disheer fixment. De women fokeses fotched de debil in dis heer wurld, undbress de Lawd when dey is ceasded dey is ergwine ter take him erlong widdem. Does yer see how slak-sided I'se got? Look at dese ole holler eyes;yu kin jamby play marbles in dem. I'm ergwine rite strate back ter olemarser, lak dat progigle man in de scriptur, und I'm ergwine ter tellhim he mout hab my freedom. I'd ruther hab de tarrifyin fever dan be afranksized woter. I wishes ole Laflin had er died fo' he wuz born,upsottin de niggers, und dey ergwine erbout lak ragged ruffins, widnuffin ter do but beatin drums und wotin yaller tickets. Dar aint narrygrane o' rest nite nor day. Peers lak Hanner she gits sick de werywustest time in de wurld, und when she aint ailin she's tarnally moufinerbout no meal in de gum und no catfish es in de stew-pan. De Lawd knowsdis ole stractified nigger hes sucked misery long ernuff. I haint nebernode ole marser ter turn his back on nobody, und es fur Miss Alice, herpurty white hans is wide open all de time, und she do say 'UncleJoshaway' de hebenliest I eber seed."
With these heartfelt expressions the old negro maintained a deadsilence, and Hannah, like the Temanite of old, essayed to answer,
"Yu needn't blame it all on me, dat yu needn't. Enybody er seein yu erwourin up dat grate big hunk o' meat mout hab node yu wuz er horgishnigger, und hit maks no diffunce who parishes so yo stumick is full. Erlyin dar now er pickin yo ole snags und er hikkerpen es full es er dorgtick, und me er settin here er fairly rackin wid mizry."
"Hush Hannah," interrupted Joshua, "nuff is nuff, ef yu had er wourd datbarbyku und tuck defly sick, dar wudn't been no sleep in dis house disnite. 'Twant kase I hankered fo dat leetle grain ob fresh meat dat Ididn't wide wid yu, twas kase I knowd it was gwine gin yo stummick."
"Bress God," answered Hannah, "you's er powerful doctor, er puttin yomouf on sick folkses dat is peert und harty," and Hannah begansea-sawing again.
The Broken Sword; Or, A Pictorial Page in Reconstruction Page 19
