Mara returned Khala’s scowl then shook her head. “We’re done. Now you can continue to complain or I can let you free. The choice is yours.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Khala replied as I felt my face stretch into a grin. “I think I can free us,” she said, and then I felt a sudden spike of power as she began to feed of the energy from the table. In seconds it had been drained and I felt her strain against the restraints then put on a sudden burst of strength ripping my right arm free of the inhibiting tendrils. With my free hand she was able to quickly free the other one and then she moved on to my waist and legs.
Khala stood on my feet then with a casual flick of my wrist she tossed aside the handful of strands in her hand before turning back to Mara.
“Your little device is flawed. If you ever decide to lay a trap like that for me again I think you will find that I will not be so… cooperative!” She glared at Mara and then without another word spun around on the balls of my feet and stormed out the door.
Khala walked a little way down the hall and then without warning stopped in the middle of the hallway leaned against the wall. She let a long sigh and relinquished control back to me.
“I don’t get it,” I said glancing back on the door. “How’d you get loose?”
Khala appeared leaning against the wall opposite me adopting a posture that was an exact mirror of my own. “There was a tiny fracture in the casing around the power source.”
“I figured that much,” I responded. “But how’d you break the bonds?”
“The power I absorbed from the table gave your body just enough strength to break through the bonds.”
“And since there was no power in the table it couldn’t adjust for the increased strength,” I finished for her.
“Correct.”
I glanced both ways down the corridor then returned my gaze to Khala. “Well, I would imagine it would be very difficult to hold someone bonded to a K’teth prisoner.”
Khala nodded, but remained silent as her illusionary form stared back at me. Her image remained for just a few seconds before fading away. I shook my head then glanced down the corridor to see Jaysen approaching from a little further down hallway.
“Done with Mara?” he asked his eyes once again straying to look at my chest.
I felt my cheeks burn a bit, but otherwise chose to ignore his wandering eyes. I could hardly blame him; just a few weeks ago I probably would have done the same had I encountered a woman as attractive as myself. Now that I was wearing the shoes of such a beautiful girl I had a much better idea what it was like to have every man under the sun gawking at me. Still, it was weird getting that kind of attention. I was really going to have to talk to Kaya and find out how she dealt with it.
“So…” I trailed off. “It’s about lunch time… want to grab something to eat?”
“Sure, I’d love to,” he beamed up at me his head tilting upward to look me in the eyes.
Neither one of us said a word as we made our way down the corridor, but I did note that Jaysen seemed happier than usual. I wondered why that might be, but never got around to asking him since we had soon found ourselves in front of the doors to the dining hall.
Chapter Eleven
After more than two weeks with the rebels I still felt like an outsider. I didn’t belong, they knew it and so did I or so it seemed to me. I continued to train and get a grasp on my abilities. I hadn’t figured out how to crawl up walls and across ceilings like the overseer, but I was sure I was capable of doing such things. It was just a matter of learning how.
Living in a female body, was so strange, and there were times that I thought it might be easier just to end my misery. Was this life really worth living? I felt trapped, both in my female body and within the rebel’s compound. I feared what I had become, what I was still becoming and while Khala still hadn’t gained control of my body. I still feared that she might do so eventually. I didn’t know what to do with myself and that’s why I threw myself so completely into my training. What else was there for me to do?
I had just gotten back from another training session, this one with Terreth, Nate and Strave, when I found Kaya waiting in my room. “Oh, he–” I started to speak, but stopped dead when she looked up at me and I saw the tears running down her face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked sitting down next to her on the bed.
“I’ve been waiting for you for the past hour trying to think of the best way to tell you, but nothing I think of seems appropriate.” She sobbed and I put my arm around her running it up and down her back trying to sooth her.
“Tell me what?” I whispered in her ear, fighting back the sudden urge to kiss her.
Kaya sobbed and buried her face in my chest before looking up at me and shuddering, “I’m pregnant.”
“You’re what?!” I asked suddenly jumping up off the bed. “It- it’s mine?”
Kaya nodded. “You’re the only person it could be!”
“H-how did you find out?” I breathed running my hands through my hair as I paced back and forth in front of her trying my best to fight down my sudden sense of panic.
“I’ve been feeling nauseous so I went to the doctor and after putting me under the scanner, he told me,” she sobbed as I paced back and forth in front of her. “Oh my god, Jellfree! What the hell are we going to do?”
I stopped pacing abruptly then turned my head to look Kaya in the eyes then plopped down next to her again and put my hands around her shoulders. “I wish I knew!”
I felt as if my heart had been through a shredder as I watched her weep. Even if Kaya no longer wanted to be with me I still loved her and wanted nothing more at that moment than to end her pain. Which is probably why I leaned in and kissed her. It was an impulsive act, something that I would have done when we were still together. Her lips felt so soft against my own and it felt as good as I remembered. For a moment Kaya seemed lost in the kiss, but then I felt her hands on my chest as she pushed herself away. She gasped and stumbled out of the bed swirling around to stare at me with wide eyes.
“No, no. I can’t Jellfree! I just can’t!” she gasped then fled out the door.
“Kaya wait!” I called after her, but she just kept going.
I jumped off the bed and followed her around the corner, but soon lost her as I rounded one of the bends where I thought I’d last seen her. I called her name, but if she heard me she didn’t answer. I wandered the hallways with Felix tailing me trying to find her, even looking in her room, but it all proved to be for nothing. Wherever Kaya had run off to she didn’t want to be found.
Giving up, I returned to my room, not even bothering to close the door before falling to my knees and weeping.
“Dammit!” I cursed slamming the door shut and slid to the ground my back against the cupboard.
After, I’d had a good cry in my room I was still on the verge of a break down and it was all I could do to keep myself from collapsing in a heap. I think it had finally set in, that it was over between Kaya and me. Oh, sure logically I knew it had been over since I’d first begun to change, but I hadn’t really accepted it. A part of me had been holding out hope that she would come around. I wanted to be with her with cell in my body, but she couldn’t even stand to kiss me and the whole thing was further complicated by the fact that she was carrying my unborn child. God, it was too cruel! I needed some way to escape the pain even if it was just for a little while.
And that’s how I ended up in the kitchen rifling through the cupboards in a futile effort to swipe some of Strave’s booze. My first experience with alcohol had been absolutely awful, but everything that had happened had proved to be too much and I needed an escape. I doubt it was the healthiest way of dealing with my pain, but it was quick. There seemed to be a one hole with my plan; however, there wasn’t any booze to be found… anywhere.
So, instead I lay there on the floor weeping and feeling sorry for myself. ‘Maybe, it would be better if I were to j
ust end it,’ the thought popped into my head and I gripped the side of my head sobbing hysterically. Khala would die without a living host and there wouldn’t be any reason for the rebels to worry anymore. All my pain was caused by that damned parasite and if I went I was going to make damn sure I took her with me. Kaya… she might be sad at first, but I think she’d be a lot happier in the long run without me around. What was I but a sick reminder of the love we once shared?
The only question was how the hell was I going to do it? I could impale myself or possibly slit my wrists, but there was one problem with that method. If someone found my body before Khala had died she could leap into them and they’d become her new host then this whole mess would begin all over again. Maybe if I went somewhere where no one would think to look… With that thought in mind I grabbed a knife from the cupboard, tucked it into my pants and moved for the door and stopped as a tall red-haired figure appeared in the doorway.
“Well, hello there!” Strave beamed as I stood there with my jaw hanging open like an idiot.
I tried to push past him, but I felt his hand suddenly on my shoulder as I whirled around to face him. He looked around the kitchen his eyes seeming to linger on the still open cupboards before they returned to gaze into my own. “What exactly is it you were looking for Jellfree?” he asked releasing my shoulder. “Mara doesn’t look too kindly on people who steal food.”
“I wasn’t looking for food,” I glared up at him rubbing at my shoulder gingerly. “I wanted more booze!” I yelled fighting back the sudden onslaught of tears. “I just can’t take the pain anymore!” I cried and threw myself at Strave weeping into his shoulder.
Strave suddenly stiffened and I felt him grab either of my shoulders as he held me out at arm’s length. “I don’t imagine it would be easy, but…”
“No, it’s not easy! It’s hell!” I shrieked pushing his hands away and backed slowly away. “I love her! I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and she can’t even stand to let me touch her. All because of this damned body and that thing living inside of me. Every moment I’m awake is a constant reminder of what I’ve lost and then there’s these damned things on my chest along with all the other shit I’ve got to deal with. I know what you’re going to say so don’t. Don’t try to tell me everything is going to be alright. Don’t tell me that I’ll find a way to deal with it and you damned well better not tell me that I have a chance in hell of getting back together with Kaya. You and I both know that would be a lie!”
Strave swallowed and nodded then did something completely unexpected, he kissed me and instead of resisting I melted into his arms. For two weeks I’d been trying to fight my attraction to him and I couldn’t hold it at bay any longer. ‘About time,’ Khala’s voice whispered in the back of my mind as we broke away.
I took in a deep breath of air then I looked Strave up and down. With trembling arms I reached out to grab his collar and shuddered before returning his kiss. A part of me found the whole thing revolting, but I growing part of me just didn’t care. I wanted, no I needed, someone to hold me and make everything feel better and Strave happened to be the nearest alternative to Kaya. As I kissed him, I realized something else, being held wasn’t enough. I wanted more and so I took it.
Chapter Twelve
“God,” I groaned softly my eyes fluttering open as I reached to pull an unfamiliar weight off of my chest. An arm, there was an arm draped across my chest! As struggled to come fully awake the memories from the previous night came back to me in one sudden burst.
“Oh, hell!” I squealed throwing the arm off of me and scrambled away from Straffen’s naked form.
“What have I done?” I whispered my hands clenched around my naked breasts.
I’d had sex with man, but not just any man, Strave! So, why didn’t I feel disgusted with myself? I was shocked sure, but our lovemaking had felt good and… God! I didn’t even want to finish that thought! I was a man dammit! I shuddered and backed away even further retrieving my shirt from the kitchen floor as I did. ‘This is all your fault!’ I called out to Khala.
“Oh, this ought to be good,” Khala grumbled appearing seated on the counter beside me.
‘You gave me this body! You made me attracted to… that man!’ I seethed rounding on her.
“You’re friend is awake if you weren’t aware,” she said flatly folding her arms across her chest. “Besides, I may have given you that body and well… the attraction toward the male of your species, but I certainly didn’t intend for you to shack up with that one.”
“Jellfree,” Strave called groggily as I pulled my shirt over my head feeling suddenly very self conscious about standing around naked in the middle of the kitchen.
“Jellfree,” he repeated rolling over onto his side to look at me.
“That name,” I whispered coming to a sudden realization. “Don’t call me that!”
I was changing, but I hadn’t even realized it until that moment. Jellfree, had been someone who had dreamed of being free of the Qharr, but never acted on his desires. He stood by and watched those gray-skinned bastards do horrible things and thought only of preserving his own life. That person had died the moment I had decided to side with Kaya and the rebels against Duvak and the Overseer. I was a resistance fighter now and I was going to have to live as a woman for the rest of my life. I needed a new name, and that moment seemed as good as any to pick a new one.
I always thought that if I had a daughter I would give her the name Alexana, since that had been my mother’s middle name, but somehow I liked the idea of taking that name for myself. That way my name would be a constant reminder of the sacrifice my mother had made. She had died trying to defend my sister and me and it felt right that if I should take anyone’s name it would be hers.
“Call me Lexa,” I muttered giving him the shortened version of the name.
Strave blinked then grinned, “Damn, I must be a hell of a lover last night. I think I made a woman out of you… literally.”
Strave had almost seemed like a different person the previous night and I was sad to see that person go. It was all an act, I realized suddenly. Strave played the part of the sex-crazed rogue, but the real Straffen the one I’d gotten a glimpse of before we made love, he was the real Strave. I wished I knew of some way of bringing him out again, but it was as if a wall had been erected between the two of us.
I sighed then grabbed my underpants and slacks from the ground. God, what was I thinking?! This was Strave I was thinking about! God, I couldn’t believe I actually had sex with him! What the hell was wrong with me?
“What leaving so soon?” he asked with raised eyebrows.
I slid my panties on then pulled my pants up my legs, “You can lounge about naked if you like, but I don’t particularly like the idea of being caught with my pants down in the middle of the damned kitchen.”
“You didn’t seem to mind so much last night.”
I gritted my teeth and turned my back on him. God, how could he act like such a jackass after last night? I clenched my fists at my side then slowly walked toward the exit. What game was he playing at? Stopping me from taking my life, having sex, then acting like… his usual self. He couldn’t have actually known that I was planning to gut myself, but he had seen how upset I was.
Abruptly, the door flew open and a red bolt of phase energy flew through the entrance and hit me square in the chest. Caught completely off guard I collapsed to ground clutching at my chest.
“Lexa!” Strave yelled suddenly. “You fucking bastard!”
I heard his feet pounding against the floor as he jumped to from the ground and went tearing across the room toward my attacker. Then I realized something, I didn’t hurt at all. I ran my hand up and down my chest looking for signs of injury, but found none. There was a burn mark in my shirt where the phase bolt had hit me, sure, but the skin underneath was completely unblemished. This really wasn’t all that surprising considering that my body was host to an energy guzzling symbiote. It’
s just, you know, you go on so long knowing something can hurt you and it tends to stick with you even after it’s no longer a concern.
Abruptly, Khala’s illusory form was sitting hunched over me on the floor. “Je… Lexa you’ve got to give me control. That was a Qharr weapon that hit you. The masters have found you, and you’ll need my fighting abilities and experience if you’re going to survive.”
“How can I trust you?” I whispered up.
“Do you really have any choice? You’re running out of time. It won’t be long before the hunter who fired on you finishes off your friend,” she hissed furiously. “DECIDE!”
Live or die, those were my choices. At the moment I didn’t really care one way or the other, but what about Strave? Even if he was acting like an unbelievable jackass I couldn’t watch him die. And there was Kaya, Jaysen, Mara and the rest, they didn’t didn’t deserve to die either. So, I made the only choice that made any sense. I closed my eyes and gave over control of my body to the K’teth.
My eyes snapped back open and under Khala’s guiding hand I leapt back to my feet with far more grace than I could have ever managed on my own.
“Gre’ga toel Edant!” She called out with my voice grabbing the knife which I had tucked away before Strave had found me.
The hunter, who was by then standing over Strave preparing to pummel him, stopped, turned his head and leveled his gaze on me. He seemed surprised, but why wouldn’t he be? He’d just heard a human rebel call out, “Glory to the masters” in perfect Qharr. I panicked upon hearing this, having somehow understood and assumed that Khala planned to betray me, but then she surprised me. She hurled the knife across the room and hit the Hunter square in eye. The Qharr gurgled a bit, and fell to the ground dead.
“Get dressed,” Khala said staring down at Strave’s naked form as he scrambled to his feet. “Where there’s one there will be more.”
Battle For Earth Page 13
