by R. J. Groves
For a while there he’d thought it might have been, since Robbie hadn’t looked to have any intention of taking it over. But after Mrs Tanner had passed away, Robbie had immersed himself in farm work and then, after Mr Tanner’s accident, he’d just carried on with it. Of course, at that stage Shannon had been away studying his course. He didn’t know what he would have done had Robbie decided to sell up instead of working the farm. Perhaps Shannon would have found some land of his own somewhere, though he doubted any other place would have meant as much to him as Tanner Station did.
When he’d come back after finishing his studies, he’d struck a deal with Robbie. They’d work the farm together, Shannon working in exchange for his rent of the shack, and they’d halve the costs and halve the profits. Robbie had been keen for it, especially since he’d been running the farm on his own with occasional seasonal help by the time Shannon had returned. It seemed he’d liked the idea of having someone who already knew how the place ran working there. The deal had worked well for both of them. In a way, Shannon had got a share of the farm—though not legally—and Robbie was able to keep his family home without having to do it all on his own.
‘I’ve been meaning to thank you,’ Jannette said, taking him by surprise.
‘What for?’
‘For being there the other day, you know, with the—’ She broke off and made a movement that suggested he knew what she was talking about. He did, of course. How could he forget the fact he’d had a crying Jannette in his arms? ‘And for bringing my luggage to my room. You didn’t have to.’
‘It was nothing.’
‘Still,’ she said, smiling her genuine smile, ‘thank you.’
He nodded his acknowledgement, not sure what else to say. They remained in silence for a little longer before he broke it. ‘Do you ever miss this place?’ he found himself asking. Part of him wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.
Jannette was quiet for a moment, still staring out at the view. Then she dropped her gaze and scratched at her thigh, as though looking for a thread to pick at. ‘Sometimes,’ she said. ‘I don’t normally have time to miss it—or anything, for that matter. But lately …’
She drifted off and when she sighed, he realised she probably had no intention of continuing. ‘You’ve found yourself with more time on your hands?’ he offered.
‘I suppose I have.’
‘The break-in?’ he prompted.
He still couldn’t imagine how much of a shock it would have been to find out her shop had been broken into. A part of him wished he’d been there to help her through it. But another part of him knew that was silly. He was never cut out for the city life. He’d stick out like a sore thumb if he were anywhere but the country.
‘Well, yes,’ she said slowly, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. ‘But also no. I don’t know. You probably wouldn’t understand.’
He bit the inside of his cheek. He might have been quick to retort, considering he thought he’d understand anything she told him. But there was something in the look she had when she’d said it that made him pause. A sadness. A longing. It tugged at his heart.
‘Try me.’
Her eyes shot towards him, her lips parted, and her mouth moved a little as though she was trying to speak but wasn’t sure of the words. ‘O—okay,’ she managed after a while. She returned her gaze back to the imaginary thread. ‘I … umm … well, the shop had always kind of been my dream, you know? But the girls—Andie and Harley—well, they’d become so good at handling everything there that it sort of got to a point where I wasn’t really needed. And when I started, I was doing everything. Somewhere along the line, I stopped doing as much seamstressing and began doing more paperwork.’ She looked towards him again. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoyed it, I just didn’t feel like that was everything. If that makes sense.’ She returned her gaze back to the point on her thigh and flattened her hand against it, letting out a sigh. ‘I don’t know, it’s silly. Probably doesn’t even make sense.’
‘It does.’
Hell, it probably made more sense than she realised. When something you loved doing didn’t seem to have quite the same appeal anymore, when it no longer filled that gap in your chest it once had? Yeah, Shannon knew the feeling. Once again, he thought about the potential of owning his own farm. Maybe that would fill the gap for him.
‘Really?’ She looked at him in surprise, her brow creased as though she didn’t believe him.
‘It does,’ he repeated. ‘And it’s not silly. At least, I don’t think it is. I get it. Your shop just couldn’t offer you what you wanted anymore, and you felt like something was missing. Like you need to go on to the next stage of your life or something.’
Her mouth worked again before she spoke. ‘Yeah. That’s exactly it. How did you—’ She tilted her head to one side, shifting her position so she was facing him better. ‘You feel it too, don’t you?’
He shot her a smile, trying not to reveal too much about his lonely nights and how he’d often just go to bed once he’d had his evening cuppa so he didn’t have to be left alone with his thoughts. ‘Reckon it happens to the best of us,’ he said instead. He took his hat off and sat it on the ground next to him, letting the slight breeze cool the top of his head. ‘So what’s it look like for you, Jenny? The next stage.’
She let out a slightly awkward laugh that had his heartstrings twanging and his jeans tightening. ‘Mmm,’ she hummed when she’d recovered herself. ‘The next stage. Well, at first I thought maybe I just needed someone to share it all with, but as it turns out, there are a lot of jerks out there.’
He tried to squash down the little bit of hope that sparked to life inside him. If he heard that correctly, she’d just said she wasn’t with anyone. Still didn’t change anything. She shifted her position again so she was sitting cross-legged and plucked a blade of grass and started tearing at it.
‘And then I’d thought maybe it might be … something else … and I was gonna go for it by myself but’—she dropped the blade of grass and let out another sigh, looking back at the view—‘but life has a way of getting in the way of carefully made plans.’
‘What were you gonna do, Jenny?’
She continued staring, the sadness back in her eyes, and he’d begun to wonder if she’d heard him before she finally spoke in a voice so quiet he almost missed it. ‘I was going to have IVF.’
She looked at him as soon as she’d said it, and he wasn’t sure what to make of his feelings. She wanted a family. And if she didn’t have someone to start one with, she was going to do it on her own. He was both proud of her and a little jealous. He understood that feeling—wanting a family—probably more than she knew.
‘Does Robbie know you want a baby?’
Her eyes grew wide and she shook her head. ‘No, I haven’t spoken a word of it to anyone. You won’t tell him, will you?’
‘Your secret’s safe with me.’
‘Thank you.’ She seemed to relax again. ‘But it’s silly though, right? And the timing is bad. I mean, with the break-in and then Robbie, it’s like the universe is telling me not to go through with it.’
‘I think it’s brave of you,’ he said, trying to ignore the weird ache in his chest and the weight in his stomach.
‘Really?’
He nodded. ‘To take things into your own hands and chase your dreams … you’re stronger than you think, Jenny.’ A smile crept onto her face and he couldn’t quite discern the look she gave him.
‘I wish more guys were like you, Shannon,’ she said, looking away from him.
Just as well. If she’d kept looking at him after saying that, she might have got more than she’d bargained for. He realised now that it might have been better to sit two fence posts over from her.
Chapter 4
It had been over a week since Jannette arrived at the farm—a week exactly since her conversation with Shannon. The one where she’d said she wished more guys were like him. Jannette let out a puf
f of air as she adjusted the bottles for the calves. How could she have been so stupid to blurt out something like that? Even if it was true. Sure, she did wish more guys were kind, understanding, and not jerks—all qualities Shannon possessed. Tall. Handsome. Strong. And the kind of smile that sent her toes curling and made the butterflies cause chaos in her stomach.
She’d looked away as soon as she’d said it, unable to look at him from pure embarrassment. Thankfully, he’d changed the conversation to asking how the breech calf was doing and then they’d progressed to fixing the fence in a mixture of concentrated silence and superficial conversation. But as the week had gone on, she’d seen more of Shannon. It seemed he was no longer avoiding her like he had those first few days. He’d even started coming up to the house for a morning coffee and a serve of whatever baking Jannette had done for that day, and staying for a chat and sometimes a game of cards after all the evening chores were done. Much like when they were kids.
Jannette removed an empty bottle from the stand and placed another full one in its place for the next hungry calf. It was as though that second calf she’d brought back to the pen after fixing the fence with Shannon had well and truly started the season. Calves were being born so quickly—thankfully without any more breech births—that Jannette was starting to struggle with coming up with names for each of them, let alone remembering their names. Clarabelle was easy to recognise. She was a little bigger than the rest, but even if she wasn’t, Jannette was sure she wouldn’t be able to mix up the calf she’d helped birth with any of the others.
She replaced another bottle and nudged a greedy calf looking for seconds aside, smiling at the calf’s cheekiness. Whether she was ready to admit it or not, she’d found her time at the farm therapeutic. None of the hustle and bustle of the city. No waking up to the sounds of cars and trucks tearing past your house. No breathing in exhaust from a simple walk down the street.
The country was so peaceful, so calm, and while it was slower paced, there was still so much to do—especially now that Shannon was happy for her to help with more than just the calves. And the sunsets …
Beach sunsets were gorgeous whenever she had the chance to view them, but the sunsets at Tanner Station that she’d seen each night … well, it was a good way to end the day. Especially with the company.
She couldn’t deny that she felt something for Shannon, but she also couldn’t act on it. In a little under two weeks, Robbie would be getting his casts off, and she would stay for a week or so afterwards to help until he was properly back on his feet. After that, she’d be back in Perth, hopefully finding another way to make an income and maybe pursue her plans to have a family.
The thought of making an income by any means other than her shop made her chest tighten. She’d heard from the detective on the case—Detective Attler—earlier that morning and he’d told her they had some suspects in mind and were just trying to find them. A group of young men between the ages of eighteen and twenty-two. They were just kids. But someone who’d witnessed suspicious activity not long before the estimated break-in time had come forward and given their descriptions. As much of a relief as it was that the police now had a lead, Jannette still couldn’t shake the feeling that something just wasn’t quite right. Sure, she might just be paranoid. Simply being broken into was enough to shake her up. And she shouldn’t be worried—not really. She should just trust that the police would find who was responsible and that would be it.
‘Excuse me, ma’am, are they the new calves?’
Jannette startled as a young boy appeared beside her. She had to stop her mouth from dropping open as soon as she looked at him. The boy—probably no more than thirteen or fourteen—looked very much like Shannon had looked at that age. From the messy brown locks to the cheeky smile and his green eyes—though the boy’s were slightly lighter than Shannon’s. He even had a similar build to what she remembered, and the height to go with it, along with the same country twang and a slightly smaller version of Shannon’s Akubra hat. But surely not …
She focused back on his question in an attempt to distract herself from the fact that there was a kid standing next to her who both looked and spoke like the handsome man living in the shack of her childhood home.
‘Um, yeah, they are. Most are less than a week old. Aren’t they cute?’
‘Sure are,’ he said, leaning against the edge of the pen. ‘But better not to get attached to bobby calves or you’ll miss them when they’re gone.’
Bobby calves? Why did that phrase sound familiar? She’d no doubt heard it in her childhood, but she couldn’t quite remember what it meant. Perhaps it was calves who would be sold when they were old enough. The mini-Shannon didn’t give her much time to think about it before he was onto another topic.
‘Are you Jannette? Last time I was here, Uncle Robbie said his sister would be here any day now. Are you her?’
Uncle Robbie? She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Was this Shannon’s kid? And even more surprising—Shannon has a kid? Why wouldn’t he have told her when she’d told him about her plans for IVF or at any other time during their conversations? Or why didn’t Robbie tell her?
And what did it matter?
Shannon could be in a serious relationship with someone, for all she knew. Even if he was living with his dog in a shack that was really too small for much more than that.
‘I’m sorry, who are you?’ she said.
He stood ramrod straight, flashed an impressive grin and tipped his hat with his hand. ‘Jarrod Hopkins, ma’am. And are you Uncle Robbie’s sister?’ he asked again.
Hopkins. He even had the same last name as Shannon. A weight settled in her stomach. Shannon didn’t have any brothers who could produce a kid that would look like him. He only had a sister. But if she’d had a child, surely he wouldn’t have her maiden name. And surely he wouldn’t be an almost spitting image of Shannon—or call Robbie his uncle.
‘I am,’ she said. It sounded weaker than it should. It didn’t matter if Shannon had a kid. She’d be happy for him if he did. But she just couldn’t help the niggling in the back of her mind. The thought that someone else had been lucky enough to start a family with him. ‘How often do you come out here?’
‘Almost every weekend and most of the school holidays. Sometimes more if I’m good and I’m all caught up on my studies.’ Before either of them could say anything more, they heard a whistle, and both turned towards the sound to see Shannon walking towards them. ‘Gotta go!’ the boy said, tapping a finger to his hat again. ‘Nice to meet you, ma’am.’
He was gone before she could respond. She watched as the kid caught up to Shannon and gave Sparky a scratch. She tried to process the whole conversation as she watched the two interact. They were a bit far away for her to make out the words, but she could tell that they both had a big smile on their faces. Jarrod really did look a lot like Shannon …
After a moment, Shannon slapped Jarrod on the back and the kid rounded up the dog and headed towards the stable where the horses were. Shannon must be planning on taking him for a ride.
It had become clear to her pretty quickly that Shannon hadn’t fallen under the pressure of using a quad bike. Through the week, she’d mentioned that he rode his horse all over the farm. He’d simply replied by saying that he liked being old school and he trusted his horse a lot more than he could ever trust a quad bike. He’d gained a bit more respect from Jannette after that.
Shannon started towards her, a big grin on his face, and she instinctively tucked some hair behind her ear and straightened her shirt. It had taken a bit to get used to braids again since she’d spent the most part of her working life with her hair in a bun of some kind. But it hadn’t taken long to realise that a bun just wouldn’t work with a hat on her head all day.
‘I see you’ve already met Jarrod,’ Shannon said as he drew closer.
‘I have,’ she said, resting an elbow on the fence of the pen. The calves had all finished with their feed and were back to
milling around each other. ‘Took me a bit by surprise though. He’s a polite kid.’
‘Yeah, he is,’ Shannon said, throwing a glance towards the stable, which Jarrod disappeared into shortly after. ‘Smart, too. He could go far, but he reckons he wants to be a cattle farmer—much to his mother’s dismay.’
She smiled, but she felt like it was half-hearted. ‘He looks like you,’ she said, trying not to sound as though she was fishing for information or some kind of explanation. After all, it wasn’t really her place to say anything. His returning toothy grin and the flash in his eyes sent her stupid stomach aflutter again.
‘Also to his mother’s dismay.’
She bit into her lip, waiting for him to say something, anything. But when he didn’t, she resigned herself to the fact that she’d just have to be upfront about it. ‘I—I didn’t know you have a son.’
***
Shannon’s brow furrowed as he studied Jannette’s expression. After their talk up the hill a week earlier, he’d felt like the walls between them had come down a little. They’d been able to talk easily enough and they’d had very few awkward moments. Well, except for when their hands occasionally touched for whatever reason and he’d felt the pulse of electricity shoot up his arm and he could have sworn that her face reddened a little every time. But over their morning coffee and their evening chats, they’d got to know each other a little. The topics had remained mostly superficial, none getting anywhere close to their talk up on the hill, especially with Robbie around.
Ah, Robbie.
Shannon tried not to notice that Robbie had always been in the room whenever he was inside with Jannette, or if he wasn’t, he was pretty soon after. Or the way Robbie tended to position himself in a way that meant Shannon could never really get close to Jannette.
