“I wasn’t about to miss your birthday. I explained to Rowan and Bennett that I needed a couple of days so they’re staying close to home with my team and Mary-Margaret.”
Clearing her throat, she chose her words carefully. “Do they know about me?”
“Rowan doesn’t. I think I’ve accurately intuited that you like to keep everything about your life to yourself. Bennett is a man who knows how to read a room. When you didn’t respond to Owen Douglas as he expected, he asked several pointed questions that I answered truthfully.”
“They were trying to set us up…”
“Naturally. Bennett rather likes you, Nina. He thought you and Owen would be a good match.”
“That man would have ended up as debris on the shoulder of my life road.” She looked into James’ eyes. “As you likely will.”
“Such a pessimist.” He wrapped his palm around her throat and pressed her to the wall. “I’m not like Owen, Nina. You know that. It’s not about money or upbringing. It’s all about the core of who I am. I’ve killed and when you’ve watched the life drain from another person’s eyes, it changes you. Even if the person fucking deserves it.” He added softly, “You know all about that...don’t you, sweetheart?”
“Yes.”
“When you were picked up from the warehouse as a girl - along with seven other children under the age of nine - you were covered in the blood of two dead men.”
“They weren’t men,” she hissed.
“You used a landline to call for help, locking yourself and all the other victims in an office.”
“The others were trying to break down the door when the cops showed up.” Through gritted teeth, she said, “I had one of the dead guy’s guns. I would have murdered them all.”
“You knew how to use a gun.”
“I pay close attention to things I need to learn.”
“You slit their throats and staged a revolution.”
“Easy prey. They’d wanted me for months but I was reserved for men who paid fortunes for access to me. I seduced them in the security office. Told them no one would ever know.” She smiled. “The first one didn’t understand what was happening when I dragged a sharpened piece of metal across his throat. The second was so stunned, he didn’t even put his hand up to stop me when I turned on him.”
“You got the other kids…”
“Took the keys and unlocked their cages. We crept along the wall to the office and locked ourselves in. It was the person bringing the slop they fed us who realized we were gone. By then, I’d already called the cops.”
“You saved all of them.”
“There were dozens of others I didn’t and I think saving is the wrong word. None of them were fit to testify at trial. The three who made it to adulthood are even worse off than me - drug-addicted, in prison, and in a mental hospital. The others killed themselves deliberately or through high-risk activities before they were sixteen.”
“How strong you are, Nina.”
“Strength? That’s what you think it is? I’m an animal who runs on basic instinct, pure survival mechanisms.”
“Why did you have a knife in your hand?”
She stared at him for a long moment and exhaled roughly. “There was only one woman convicted. During her last parole hearing, she was able to convince a judge that she was forced into what she did by men who threatened to kill her.”
“Is that true?”
Nina laughed. “She was the goddamn mastermind. She’s the one who recruited the rest. For a long time, I thought she was my mother. Then I realized that even if she was, I’d spill her guts on the ground if given the chance.”
“She’s out of prison?”
“Oh yes. Her long-time lover is sicker than she is. I’m sure he has her in some lovely penthouse somewhere and I have no doubt they haven’t forgotten me.”
“You’re staying on the estate.”
“No, I’m not.”
“If you think I’m leaving you unprotected, you are out of your goddamn mind.”
Deciding how much to tell him wasn’t easy for a woman who never shared her secrets. She’d already told him too much.
“I’m moving back to Texas. I don’t want Rowan to know. I cannot - will not - stay on their property.” He pulled her away from the wall and bumped her against it softly. “I know. I’m infuriating.”
“You’ll travel back with me.”
“I’ll do what I want.”
“I know...and you’ll want to travel back with me.” He smiled. “I think you need a nice, hard fuck to convince you.”
James was a man who always followed through.
Admittedly, it was a trait Nina admired.
Chapter Fourteen
Nina rented a house ten minutes from Jefferson Wood. James insisted on renting the place in his name.
She answered her cell phone when Rowan called and pretended she was still in New York. She lied to Miss Jeffries as well. Being back in Texas would cause too many questions from the people she’d known as a girl.
A ticking clock hung over the world.
There was a kinetic energy in James that gradually built as the days passed. He was a strong man unable to stop or even slow the tragedy that was coming.
The loss of his employer, his friend, a man who was more like a father to him.
For someone like James to feel powerless made him crazy. Nina encouraged him to take out his frustration on her, accepted the aggression that churned beneath his skin, and steadily depleted him of the ability to remain conscious once he spent his reserves giving her everything he had.
Their time in her bed was half fucking and half sleeping. It was obvious he wasn’t getting enough rest otherwise.
After a six-hour marathon of sex, she climbed from the bed and left James sleeping soundly. She was getting good at knowing when he was faking it.
Showering, she dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, made coffee, and read a book in the corner chair in her bedroom.
It had taken time to get used to the bigger space of her new home. After all, she’d gone from a cage, to sharing a room with Rowan, to her little walk-up.
Unsure what to do with it, she didn’t argue when James had furniture delivered, stocked her normal sized refrigerator, and brought her gifts that made it feel like a home.
Hours later, James startled awake. He looked at her and asked, “How the fuck do you do that? I never sleep so deep.”
She shrugged. “Coffee?”
As Nina passed the bed, he grabbed her hand and flipped her over his body to her back on the mattress.
“Come back to bed.”
“Alright,” she answered.
“You’re wearing too many clothes.”
“Take them off me if you don’t like it.”
“Saucy bitch.” He sucked her nipple through her t-shirt.
“I do my best,” she told him with a sigh.
“I need your skin next to mine.”
“I thought you had to get back…”
Lifting his head, he frowned. “What time is it?”
She tugged her lower lip between her teeth. “Almost noon.”
Eyes wide, he whispered, “I slept for seven hours.”
“I was going to wake you up soon.”
Holding himself above her, he stroked his palm down her arm. “I never want to stop touching you, kissing you, fucking you until you scream my name.”
Quirking her brow, she teased, “I’m sure many women have screamed your name, James.”
“Not like you. You scream it like you want to devour me.” He lowered, sealing their bodies together. “Your animal recognizes mine, Nina. It’s a hunter, a fighter, a killer when necessary. When there isn’t a threat, it purrs and uses its teeth for things other than ripping and tearing.”
Adjusting his body, he pushed her shorts off her legs. He licked his fingers and fondled her clit until she started rocking her hips to meet him.
Settling between her thighs, he rubbed his cock t
hrough her folds and she gritted her teeth against the pleasure.
“Even in the heat of fucking, there’s an edge of danger with you that I can’t get enough of. Even when you come, you aren’t truly vulnerable.” He stilled. “Did you start the new birth control?” She nodded.
Moving slowly, James reached between them and positioned the head of his cock at her pussy. He stared at her and Nina knew he’d get a condom if she objected to what he wanted.
She didn’t object.
Pushing forward, he buried himself to the balls and wrapped his arms around her tightly. Keeping her upper body immobile, he fucked her in short, brutal thrusts.
“With you, I willingly expose my throat, Nina. I know you could rip it out and I don’t fucking care. That’s what makes you different from every person I touched before you.” He kissed her with an edge of violence and she returned it. Pulling back, he stared into her eyes. “It’s what makes me love you when I didn’t think I’d ever love anyone.”
She cried silently but couldn’t respond.
“It could take a decade for you to tell me you love me, Nina. Maybe you never will.” His thrusts got faster, harder. “The thing is, I don’t need to hear the words. Your actions and what you allow tell me all I need to know. That’s what makes me different from every person who touched you before me.”
Barely audible, she moaned, “James…”
“That’s right, sweetheart. Know the name of the man who breached your impenetrable walls. The first man to take you bare with your consent.” Then she came around him and all of it was different, new. He drove into her body three times and joined her, filling her with his come. He growled, “The animal who loves your animal, Nina.”
He loosened his hold and she hugged him as tight as she could. Shaking, gasping for air, she pressed her face to his neck as her heart trembled in her chest.
“D-don’t give up on me, James.” She didn’t mean to say the words aloud.
He wrapped his body around her, holding as much of her as he could, and held the back of her head. “Keep fighting, you beautiful creature. When you’re ready to take my hand, I’ll pull you out, Nina. I’ll never give up on you. I swear it.”
Holding him harder, Nina realized that - for the second time in her life - she had something to lose.
She was terrified.
* * *
The night of Bennett Jefferson’s birthday, Nina barely contained her shock at the changes in the man.
As if he’d found the fountain of youth.
Rowan was dressed in a gorgeous, unmistakably sexual evening gown and her husband frequently stroked his fingers over her exposed skin.
For the first time, he showed the world the true level of hunger he had suppressed for his young wife. They kissed, danced, and Bennett pampered the woman he loved with touch she’d been denied throughout their marriage.
Nina struggled to play her role.
Miss Jeffries whispered, “Nina…? Honey, what is it?”
Pulling herself together, she answered, “All the strength you’ve ever had...you’re going to need to pour it into Rowan. I’ll do what I can but I’m not like you. No one could ever be like you.”
The older woman looked at the dancing couple and murmured, “Nina. You know somethin’.”
“Strength, Miss Jeffries. All you can give her.”
Nina walked away and Gage lightly grabbed her upper arm. “What the fuck is goin’ on? Bennett wants us here for two weeks but he looks better than he ever has. Nina…”
“Listen to me, Gage.” She took a deep breath. “I need you to keep your shit together. No matter what happens, you keep your shit together. All that love you’ve been carrying around for Rowan for a decade, you’re going to prove it now. Get ready to give to her, taking nothing, for as long as she needs it.”
Confusion and worry were clear on his face but he just nodded slowly. “Alright. Should I be lookin’ for somethin’ in particular?”
Carefully blotting her tears, she said, “You’ll know. You’ve always been a good man...now’s your chance to remember.”
Bennett took the stage and spoke to his closest friends about protecting his wife when he was gone.
Turning, Nina walked to the side of the house and went upstairs to James’ room. Removing her formal gown, she quickly dressed in soft leggings and a t-shirt.
Nina heard the elevator reach the second floor, the faint sound of Rowan sobbing, and then James entered his room.
Walking to a small speaker, he turned it on and Nina’s eyes went wide as she listened to Bennett try and coax his wife into having sex...knowing it would result in his death.
Closing his eyes, James explained, “H-he told me to listen for the moment of his death.”
“No…”
“He begged me, Nina.” Meeting her eyes, his sparkled with unshed tears. “I-I can’t do it alone but...you can never tell her you were here.”
Sobbing silently, she led him to the chair and straddled his lap. She held him as he shook, as he cried, as they listened to an intimate and heartbreaking conversation they had no right to be part of.
“I love you, Bennett. I love you more than I love myself. You’re the best man I’ve ever known and I’ll love you forever.”
“This heart is big enough to love more than one person, Rowan. I’m not afraid. Thank you for loving me and letting me love you as long as I could. My beautiful, fearless Rowan.”
Nina sobbed, “No, Rowan.” Holding James, she whispered, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Struggling for air, James wiped his face and pressed his lips to Nina’s forehead. Then he gently set her on her feet and walked rapidly from the room.
She listened as Rowan fought, screamed, and ultimately broke down in hysterics that were well-deserved. Nina wanted to scream at the man who dared to use his devoted wife as the instrument of his death.
After Rowan was taken to her old room and sedated, Nina entered and sat beside her. Her friend continued to cry in her drugged sleep.
She watched through the open door as paramedics arrived and moved Bennett’s body to a gurney.
James comforted a sobbing Mary-Margaret as they wheeled him from the room. Then he gave orders to the cleaning staff, his men, and the representative from the funeral home.
The entire time, he maintained a calm, stoic demeanor.
Before dawn, he moved the monitor from the master bedroom to the table beside the bed where Rowan slept.
Rubbing his hands over his face, he explained to Nina, “I need to be able to hear her if she needs me.” Nina nodded and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her tightly, almost painfully, and his entire body shook. “Stay with me.”
“I will, James.”
He lifted her and she wrapped her body around him, stroking the back of his head. In his bedroom, he put her on her feet but stayed close to her as he stripped to his boxers.
The moment he was undressed, he picked her up again and carried her to his bed. His grip made it hard to breathe but she didn’t care. His face beside hers, he shook as he cried silent tears of intense grief.
They didn’t talk. He held her as hard as he could and she held him back. Eventually, he slept a little while but when Rowan started mumbling in her sleep, he left the bed and dressed.
“The sedative is wearing off.”
He walked out of the room and Nina quickly dressed in slacks, a lightweight sweater, and flats. Leaning against the wall beside the guest room door, she listened to James comfort a woman who was ready to shatter like glass.
When he returned to the hall and closed the door, he gripped his chest. Nina touched his face. “Breathe, James. Look at me.” He lifted his eyes. “Fight now. Grieve later.”
Inhaling deeply, he nodded. Straightening, he put his shoulders back and she smiled.
Leaning up, she kissed his lips. “Miss Jeffries is best for Rowan right now...gentle, comforting. I’ll be better for her later...when she needs to be slapped around an
d no one else has the balls to do it.” She patted his chest. “Keep it together, Mr. Statton. Strength, focus, and organization. You can show me the rest. Not her. Not now.” Stepping back, she added, “I’m going to see if Mary-Margaret needs my help. You can get my help later.”
“I’ll hold you to that, Nina.”
“I’m planning on it.”
* * *
The days that followed were brutal.
Nina attended the funeral, confronted the elephant in the room that was her past with Rowan, and helped her friend find her footing in a situation that was peppered with savage landmines.
Gage still loved and desired the recent widow.
Nina watched as Rowan recognized that fact, accidentally responded to it, and lashed herself with guilt.
For hours, she sat and listened to Rowan’s stories about Bennett, how they’d met, the way they lived, and why she wasn’t sure what to do next.
“That night...it was the first time. The first time for us but my first time as well.”
Nina murmured, “That’s so fucked up, Rowan. I’m sorry.”
“I-I have some, uh, questions.”
Quirking her brow, Nina shot back, “Interesting. Hit me with them.”
It was like they were teenagers again, talking about boys. Nina used to make Rowan blush with her tales of debauchery but she always wanted to hear more.
Answering her questions now, explaining things Rowan hadn’t understood fully during her first sexual experience, made her friend laugh even as she cried.
“Thanks, Nina. I feel more...confident. Men, sex, they’ve never been my comfort zone.” She shrugged. “Books were always less confusing.”
“Excellent. Use this new knowledge as you go forward, Rowan. And know that men don’t really give a shit about anything as long as they can touch you or you touch them. It’s not rocket science where they’re concerned.” She winked. “You overthink everything.”
“Believe me...I know.” Twisting her hands together, she whispered, “Maybe it will come in handy someday.”
“It absolutely will.”
Still, there was no doubt about the relief Rowan felt when the object of her temptation returned to his home in Daingerfield with Miss Jeffries.
Run To You: The Damaged Series - Book Four Page 10
