Prairie Fire

by Djuna Shellam

  Dot and Ivey took a quick look around the large foyer as they entered the Hill Top house and were immediately taken with it.

  “Oh, now,” Dot opined, “this is a beautiful home you have here. Isn’t it, Ivey?” she asked. “Is this style, is it a, whaddya call it, a Craftsman?”

  “Why yes, yes it is,” Gwen answered. “It’s authentic, and was built in 1921.”

  Barbie descended the stairs and said jovially, halfway down the bottom staircase, “Greetings!” just as Macie emerged from the dining room.

  “Barbie, Mace, this is Dot,” Gwen gestured toward Dot, “and her friend, Ivey. Dot, Ivey,” Gwen continued, “this is Barbie and Macie.”

  “How do,” said Barbie, extending her hand to Dot. Macie acknowledged Ivey.

  “Why don’t we all go into the living room while we wait for the girls,” Gwen suggested as she led the way out of the large foyer into the living room. “Barbie, when did Chip say he and Deedee would be here?”

  “Any time,” Barbie replied, then asked Dot and Ivey, “What can I get you girls to drink? Beer, wine, cocktail, pop, juice, water…?”

  “Soda, er, um, pop for me,” Ivey replied. “Any kind will do, I’m not picky.”

  “Whatever she’s having,” Dot added, smiling warmly at Ivey.

  16.4—Esoteric Mess

  Thinking about the past, how she was before the accident, and remembering Alice, was not something Em ever wanted to do and regretted allowing herself that trip down memory lane. After twisting her mind into an esoteric mess, Em concluded that idle time should be avoided at all costs, and the past needed to be left exactly where it belonged—in the past. She sighed, checked her watch, then the clock hanging above the door of Prairie’s office—both showed four-forty-five.

  What’s taking her so long?

  Prairie was usually right on time, almost to the second. Em began to tap her left heel nervously, her impatience growing by the minute.

  At ten minutes after five, Prairie breathlessly burst into her office and flung a stack of black three-ring binders onto her desk. “Oh, geez, Em, I’m so sorry for the wait. I had a meeting that ran long…” she lied, but she couldn’t tell Em she’d been hanging around waiting for a call from the house. The roommates were preparing a special birthday dinner, but that wasn’t the big surprise. Dot was in California for vacation and was coming over for dinner—and Em didn’t have a clue.

  Em shrugged, happy at least that the wait was over. “I thought you’d never get here,” she said without rancor. She maneuvered her wheelchair and pointed it toward the door.

  “You hungry?” Prairie asked as she tidied her desk, preparing to leave. “I am. I’m starving. Come to think of it, Lovey’s cooking tonight,” she added nonchalantly.

  “I could eat,” Em answered affirmatively, inwardly thrilled to hear Gwen was making dinner and they wouldn’t be eating leftovers or a sandwich. She loved Gwen’s homestyle cooking.

  Prairie grabbed her purse and light jacket off the back of her desk chair and asked Em, “You ready to roll?”

  Em nodded and began to wheel toward the door of Prairie’s office. Dancing at Tropic Nights flashed through her mind as Em slowly passed Prairie who patiently held the door open for her. Regret and sadness began to creep into Em’s consciousness. She longed to get home and lock herself in their room, hoping Prairie would find something outside of the room to occupy her while Em hid from life.

  16.5—Over Hors D’Oeuvres

  As they waited for Em and Prairie to arrive, the women got to know each other as best as they could over hors d’oeuvres. When Macie and Barbie’s military service was revealed to Dot and Ivey, the overall reserved and polite dynamic of the conversation changed completely.

  “I cannot believe I’m sitting here, hanging out with a full bird colonel and a captain,” Macie said to Dot and Ivey. “You’re so… normal,” she snickered.

  Dot laughed mischievously. “Hey, now, officers take our pantyhose off one leg at a time just the same as you lowly non-coms,” she teased, referring to Macie’s non-commissioned rank in the Air Force.

  “Dottie,” Ivey admonished, rolling her eyes while she smiled, suppressing a giggle. “Don’t pick on Macie.” Ivey spoke to Macie and winked, “She’s really not this ornery…”

  Macie loved Dot’s sense of humor, and replied, snickering, “Hey, it’s cool. I’m used to being abused by Zeroes,” Macie said, referring to a non-com nickname for officers.

  “Good one,” Dot said approvingly as she and Macie gave each other a high-five.

  “Thata girl,” Ivey agreed, nodding her head with approval.

  ~/~/~/~/~

  “It was mighty kind of you all to open your beautiful home to Em,” Dot said to Gwen and Barbie, changing the subject. They had been telling Dot and Ivey how they found the house and a little of the history of it that they knew. “From all accounts, she seems to be thriving here. Well, according to what Prairie tells me, anyway.”

  “She is, and we absolutely love her,” Gwen gushed. “She’s quiet most of the time and struggling physically and probably emotionally, but she never complains.” Gwen chuckled. “Well, not to us, anyway. Prairie probably has a different experience, but you can tell it’s hard for her. She’s just so kind and polite. I almost can’t remember the house without her, can you, Barbie?”

  “Nope,” Barbie replied. “We’re all so fond of her. She’s definitely become part of our little family.”

  “Has she always been so quiet?” Gwen asked Dot with some hesitance. “Or did the accident…”

  “I honestly can’t say,” Dot admitted. “I didn’t know her before the accident, I don’t know if y’all knew that. Of course I knew of her as her commanding officer, but I didn’t know her personally. We only became… friends, I guess you could call us that, afterwards. But she had a terrible trauma, and at one point, just gave up. Was fixin’ to die on us, she felt so bad about what happened. Blamed herself. So…” Dot sighed just thinking back to those days, and how she still blamed herself. “I expect she’s still dealing with it. It hasn’t even been a year since, so… she’s still grieving I expect.”

  Gwen and Barbie, along with the rest of the household were dying to know the particulars of Em’s accident, but they had agreed they would wait until Em told them, and if she never did, that was how it would be.

  “She tell y’all what happened?” Dot inquired tentatively.

  Gwen and Barbie shook their heads “no.”

  Dot made a small sucking sound with her mouth. “Yep. I wouldn’t expect she had. That girl… she plays everything so close to the vest. Well, I know people, I got a knack for it I guess you could say, and I could tell right away she’s one of the good ones. When she’s ready, I expect she’ll show her cards. In due time, right? I’ll tell you what, though, I cannot wait to meet that Prairie gal. They told me she was Super Woman, and dadgum if I don’t believe ‘em! Remember I told you that, Ivey?”

  “I do,” Ivey answered with a smile.

  “When I first heard I was lookin’ for someone known as Super Woman, I said, whaddya mean, Super Woman? What the hell’s that ‘spose to mean?” Dot laughed. Barbie and Gwen nodded their heads in agreement and knowing smiles.

  “Well, I guess they were right. I cannot wait to see for myself, one, what this Super Woman looks like, and two, how Em’s doin’.”

  Barbie looked at her watch and said, “Shouldn’t have to wait too much longer. They ought to be here any minute now, though they may have hit after holiday traffic. Who knows anymore. Traffic’s gotten so terrible…”

  “Isn’t that the truth!” Dot exclaimed. “I’ve never seen so many dadgummed cars in one place. Damnation! It’s a giant movin’ parking lot, isn’t it? Just a’inchin’ a little bit at a time. Just one big clump of metal and tires.” Gwen stifled a giggle at Dot’s pronunciation of “tires” that sounded more like tars. Barbie knew what tickled Gwen and gave her a subtle elbow.

  Gwen stood up, saying, “I�
��m going to go check on dinner. I’ll be right back,” and then headed toward the kitchen. “Oh!” she exclaimed as she glanced out of the dining room window, “Ooooh, they’re here! Quick, Dot, Ivey, come along with me to the kitchen. Barbie, honey, get the door. Mace! Macie, they’re here,” she called upstairs.

  Macie appeared from upstairs and took the stairs two at time down to the foyer. “I’ll run downstairs and get Chip and Deedee,” Macie said as she bolted through the dining room and into the kitchen toward the back porch door.

  Barbie, Gwen, Dot and Ivey huddled in the kitchen, out of sight of Em and Prairie. “Should we yell surprise or happy birthday or…” Gwen was excited at the prospect of Em’s birthday dinner surprise.

  “How about y’all go about your business and Ivey and I just act as if us bein’ here is, I don’t know, planned or expected?” Dot suggested. “Y’know, no big deal.”

  “That’s good,” Barbie said, nodding her head seriously. “No need in scaring the shit out of her by yelling at her as she’s walking in the door. You know she’s not that steady on her feet…” She smiled and winked at Gwen.

  “All right, all right,” Gwen said, blushing a little, “I’m just so excited. You know how I love a good surprise. Oh, oh, oh! Shhhh! I hear the door,” she said in a hushed voice. “Dot, Ivey… um… go on and sit over there at the kitchen table…” she whispered urgently. “I’ll try to get them in here, or… Oh! Be right back,” she said excitedly and hurried out through the dining room to greet Em and Prairie.

  16.6—Surprise, Surprise!

  “Mmmm… something smells good,” Prairie commented as she opened the front door for Em. “God, I’m starving.”

  Em carefully made her way over the threshold and maneuvered her walker through the front door, then stopped to catch her breath. Going up the ramp to the porch was still a bit strenuous for her, but she hated having to use the wheelchair in the house.

  “What is that? Steak? Yum!” Em exclaimed just as Gwen appeared from the kitchen, “Hi, Lovey. Dinner smells amazing. What are you making?”

  “Your favorite, prime rib,” Gwen answered with a toothy smile. She gave Em a big hug, and kissed her on the cheek, “Happy birthday, sweetie!”

  Em slumped a little. Her secret was out. “Thanks, Lovey,” she said quietly, then looked to Prairie, “You knew.”

  Prairie tittered, “I did. We wanted to surprise you. You surprised?” She patted Em affectionately on her back.

  “Hey, darlin’—glad you’re home,” Barbie said as she came through the dining room to the foyer. “Happy birthday, youngster,” she said as she kissed Em on her cheek. “How’s your day been so far?”

  “Thank you, Barbie. Um… quiet, normal,” she emphasized with playful accusation at Prairie.

  “Well, since you’re here and it’s your special birthday dinner, Em,” Gwen began, “would you mind giving me your opinion on a dish I’m making in the kitchen? I want everything to be just right.”

  Em cocked her head, puzzled. “Me? You want my opinion? On cooking? Lovey, I can’t…”

  “Come on, sweetie,” Gwen urged, slowly leading the way. “I really need your input.”

  “O-okay,” Em stammered. She looked at Prairie and grimaced as she turned her walker toward the dining room. She slowly followed Gwen who was about to burst with excitement.

  As Em entered the kitchen, she was focused on making sure her walker cleared the doorway. She didn’t see Dot standing in the center of the large kitchen, grinning ear to ear until she looked up. Em stopped abruptly and gasped.

  “Dot,” she whispered, surprised, her voice breaking, and immediately burst into tears, completely overcome with emotion.

  “Oh, no…” Dot moved quickly to Em, and immediately gathered Em into her arms as Em leaned into Dot and wept uncontrollably. “Now, now, gal,” Dot soothed, “There’s no need for tears, child. Aw, now…” Dot patted and rubbed Em’s back.

  Shocked and touched, Gwen motioned for Barbie and Prairie who were both staring, wide-eyed, to follow her into the living room, leaving Dot, Em and Ivey alone in the kitchen.

  “Look at you,” Dot said into Em’s ear, “gettin’ yourself around on your own! Goll, I’m so dadgummed proud of you.” Dot’s eyes welled. “I knew you could do it,” she said with pride, “and you did. Before you know it, you’ll be walking on your own and back to your old self. I just cannot believe…”

  Dot’s heart was bursting. She had never experienced such maternal feelings in her entire life. She’d come close with Ivey’s young son, but nothing compared to her feelings for Em. Dot truly cared for her, almost as if they were kin, and sometimes, the feeling was so strong, it was as if Em was Dot’s own child. From the initial days after the accident when Em refused to even talk to Dot and was determined to let herself die, over the days, weeks and then months, with Dot’s persistance, their friendship had slowly grown into one of great affection. It hadn’t come easily. To Em, for a long while, Dot was the enemy, one of the brass that put her into the situation into which she found herself. As time wore on, Em began to trust Dot. Not completely, but more, and that was enough for Dot.

  So different from her own mother, Dot was the mother Em felt she should have had, as her own had always been aloof and somewhat cold toward her. Dot talked to Em, listened to her, and gave her warm, loving hugs when she most needed one, advice and encouragement when necessary.

  Still, Em relegated herself to being alone in her struggle, not wanting to be a burden on Dot, and feeling uncomfortable that she wasn’t as strong as Dot kept telling her she was. She felt inadequate, as if she was always letting Dot down. She felt weak of character and couldn’t understand why Dot cared so much about her. After all, it was she who had allowed herself to wallow in pity, drinking herself into a stupor. Em fully believed she was the one who caused the accident and the deaths of several people. Not to mention how the accident affected her physically—and would for the rest of her life. Because of her deep-seated guilt, Em continued to try to keep a distance from Dot, no matter how hard Dot tried to pull her closer.

  Em’s invisible walls were a source of great frustration for Dot, but she knew she would never give up on Em. She knew people, and she was always mostly right about them. She believed with all her heart that Em needed her to not give up on her—so she didn’t. She called Em every week, even though some weeks Em barely had two words to say to her. It didn’t matter, as long as Em knew she was there for her and that she would never give up on her.

  What Dot didn’t know was that Em wanted so badly to tell her everything she was feeling, her fears, regrets, challenges and the small victories, but she couldn’t. She was afraid of breaking down, just as she was currently doing—proof of exactly what she feared would happen.

  Em pulled gently away from Dot, standing up straight and wiping her face with one hand, still holding onto Dot with the other. “I’m sorry,” Em said softly with embarrassment, “I don’t know what… where that came from.”

  Dot scoffed. “Never you mind, kiddo.” Dot gently brushed Em’s hair from her face, tidying it behind Em’s shoulder. “I’m gonna take it as you’re so happy to see me, and that I’m the best damned birthday present you ever got that it reduced you to tears of joy. So don’t ruin it for me, alrighty?” Dot laughed and kissed Em on the forehead.

  “Now, are you all done with all that emotin’?” Dot wiped her own eyes and chuckled.

  Em nodded.

  “Lordy, you got me all misty-eyed. Whew!” Dot drew in a calming breath. “Now that we got that blubbery stuff out of the way… Em, I want you to meet my best friend… Ivey? Come meet the bravest person I know—my dear friend, Em.”

  16.7—Santa Monica

  The Santa Monica Third Street Promenade bustled with tourists despite the chilly winter day. Large stainless steel propane heaters kept the seating on the outdoor restaurant patio where Em and Dot ate lunch a comfortable temperature.

  “Isn’t this great here?” Dot asked, he
r southern drawl used for affect as she marveled at the weather and activity. “This place practically makes you feel like a movie star, doesn’t it? And you grew up here?”

  Em nodded from her seat across from Dot.

  “Damn. Can’t believe anyone’d ever wanna leave here. Hmph.” Dot shook her head with disbelief. “Hey now, I really enjoyed meeting your roommates last night,” she said, quickly changing the subject. “What a wonderful bunch. And they sure think a lot of you. Oh, and I really liked that brother—Chip? He’s a real nice young fella. His gal sure is a pretty little thing, isn’t she?”

  Em nodded and smiled. Chip had always been sweet to her, and so had Deedee.

  “Sheesh. He’s got his hands full living with all you women!” Dot laughed. “He better hope that baby Deedee is carryin’ is a boy to even out the score some.” She snickered.

  “I still cannot believe…” Dot rolled her eyes with disbelief, “you ending up in a house filled with dadgummed lesbians.” She over-emphasized the word lesbians. “Oh, lordy! Who woulda thunk it? Couldn’t have planned that any better if I tried! Hot damn!” Dot laughed heartily, then added more seriously, “But you know, I think, despite the terrible, terrible, unfortunate circumstances that got you there, and God knows…” Dot shook her head and drew a deep breath thinking about Em’s accident, and then her near molestation at the hospital, “you really lucked out. Hit the jackpot, I’d say.”

  “Yeah, I did,” Em agreed. “They’re so nice, and so… nice. They’ve made me feel so… like I’m just one of the family, right since the beginning.” She smiled, overwhelmed with joy. It was so wonderful to see Dot and have the opportunity to spend time with her, just the two of them—and someplace that wasn’t a hospital.

  “I… thought it would be weird, you know? But it hasn’t been. Not at all. And Prairie… she’s been so… amazing. She… I… she’s cool. I… really… she’s nice,” Em admitted self-consciously, picking at her sandwich. She didn’t want to give her true feelings away, forgetting momentarily that she was talking to Dot who didn’t miss anything.