by Drea Shane
With my face washed, teeth brushed, and hair tied at the nape of my neck, I called it good. Besides, the five minutes I asked requested was up ten minutes ago.
Finally, ready to face the firing squad, I opened the door. Joe was glaring at me; I knew my actions pissed him off. Yes, I was hostile, but his comment about my dad had me stalling, for fear of what was to come.
“Sorry it took so long. I was busy—enjoying my last few minutes before dealing with whatever mess you put me in. I guess it depends on how far under the bus you threw me. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure it swerves and hits you. That’s the least I could do.”
Shouldering past him, I made my way down the sweeping, grand staircase. Upon descending, the sound of pack mates talking in the living room carried on the air. Trying to make out what they were saying was impossible with Joe at my heels. Jerk.
The minute my feet hit the floor, all talking ceased. Lovely. I was the center of attention, as usual. I knew better than to disrespect Dad in front of the pack. I kept my head down, eyes lowered in a sign of submission as I approached him.
“Would you all excuse us? I need to have a talk with my daughter.”
You’d think the room was on fire. The guys bolted, leaving nothing but a blanket of awkward silence. Dad led me to his office and shut the door behind us. I stood and leaned on a chair in front of his desk while he sat behind it.
“Sit, we have much to discuss.”
When I didn’t sit as asked, he became exasperated.
“I don’t know how time sped by, Sydney. You used to be Daddy’s little girl, and now you’re about to become a full-fledged shifter.”
“I barely take orders and rarely suggestions,” I reminded him.
“As Luna, you’ll need to learn some discipline. That sharp tongue of yours will come back to bite you.”
“I may be a Redling, but I have no plans to be anyone other than myself. Nobody will control me—mate or father. Some wolves aren’t tamed, and I’m one of them.”
“Watch your tone, young lady,” Dad cautioned.
“What is it you wanted to speak to me about, Alpha?”
“I’m calling Assembly. The Alpha males that show mating potential will be competing for a chance to win your heart, my dear.”
He appeared pleased with himself, but I looked horrified. Assembly—had he lost his mind? It was archaic and unnecessary.
“Daddy, you can’t be serious! I don’t want to find my mate by those standards. That’s unfair, not only to me but the male wolves as well.” I knew my tone was treading on hysterical, but I couldn’t rein it in. My mind raced through all the reasons this was a terrible idea.
Assembly was a time for unmated, male wolves from eighteen to twenty-five to gather. These shifters could fight for the right of a female wolf. With females so scarce, it was only the Alphas that ended up with a mate.
Males from all over the world would flock. Then the male would fight for time with me—if he became a female’s potential mate after the showing.
I shuddered at the thought of the whole process. First, everyone arrived for the showing, where I’d be on display in my human form. This step allowed the men to meet me and sniff my scent. If they’re potential mates, the pack would offer them accommodations on our territory. The others left immediately.
The second step involved showing the remaining wolves my shifter form. The details weren’t clear about what happened then.
The next part of Assembly consisted of fighting. Winners got time with me. A mate had to show strength so he could take care of the Luna once mated. Ugh, such a barbaric way of thinking.
The idea disgusted me. I wasn’t certain how many females remained, but it wasn’t my concern. That was one thing that wasn’t ever discussed. There were likely other female shifters to take my place. I belonged as a Luna whose mate allowed me to be myself; sassy and a bit wild.
I’d never been to a mating, so I wasn’t sure what it entailed, other than what sparse information I read in the family books. There would be a ceremony to bind both souls and a huge celebration.
Fuming didn’t even describe my mood right now. How dare he decide my life for me? My temper spiked all over again.
Dad felt the ripple of heat travel through the room. “Calm down, Sydney.”
“Calm down? Has telling someone to calm down ever worked in the history of forever? Pretty sure those words have the opposite effect!”
“You’re one of the few females we have left. Surely, you didn’t think we were going to let you wait until a passing wolf clicked with yours? Besides, pack affiliation for our Lunas is important to our way of life.”
“I don’t give a damn about pack affiliation! I want my own life with a wolf that won’t smother me with over-protectiveness and sexism. Is that too much to ask?”
He sighed, weariness showing in his expression. Was I that terrible? The thought drifted away once he spoke again.
“I’m trying to do what’s best. There’s so much more going into this mating than you could imagine. And don’t think I haven’t noticed the disconnect with your wolf. She’s trying to protect you, not abandon you.”
My feet moved of their own accord and began pacing. “What’s she protecting me from? Why is this so damn important? Help me understand.”
“I will—in time. Give me a chance to get things in motion. I promise you’ll know everything needed as this process happens. Your wolf is surfacing, pushing harder, and quick to take over.”
I tried for denial, but Dad wasn’t having any of that. “Yes, she is, Sydney. Every member of this pack would lay down their lives for you. Of course, they are going to notice changes happening. We all want what’s best for you. If only that stubbornness would dissipate, you’d begin to see the truth. Denial and naivety will get you nowhere, my dear.”
He was right, but that same stubbornness wouldn’t allow me to acknowledge that fact. So, my wolf and I did what had become the norm lately—we got mad.
“I’m not in denial. This is all so fucking crazy, but you don’t even see that. Don’t you have a heart? My mate is my choice. Some barbaric process from the stone age won’t decide for me. I deserve that much, Father,” I mocked.
“Calm down, now. You don’t speak to your Alpha that way,” he snapped.
“I’m speaking to my father, the one that’s taking my life choices away. Mom would be so ashamed of you right now,” I spat.
I knew it was a low blow, but I was furious and seeing red. The change was pushing and would succeed if I didn’t calm down. I felt the ripple beneath my skin, heat emanating from each pore.
“You’re out of line. If you weren’t my daughter, I’d punish you for your actions.”
Coming back to the here and now, I glared at my dad. “You wouldn’t dare go through with it. You may be Alpha, but you wouldn’t condone such a senseless ritual. This is a lifetime decision, not a transaction.”
I was so sure of myself, I didn’t expect his response. Those sharp ice blue eyes cut me deep, and his full Alpha power unleashed. The intensity of his ire made me want to cower in the corner. It was a struggle to keep my composure, but I could tell he approved of my response.
“Now, you’re my daughter, and I’m doing this. I expect you to be on your best behavior and take part in this process. You’ll be eighteen in a month, and I want give word to all packs tonight that we’ll start soon.
“No! You can’t be serious! Don’t you love me?” I tried one last time.
He sighed. “You know I do. The problem is, you’re heading down a dangerous path, and it’s my responsibility as a parent to correct it. This is for your own good as much as it is for the greater good of the wolves. Someday you’ll thank me.”
“This isn’t fair. I’m not cattle you can herd from one place to another. What about what I want? I deserve to choose my own mate—the one the Goddess made just for me.”
I didn’t want a forced mating. I preferred the freedom to make my own choices. There
was no way I could handle a permanent male wolf in my life if somebody else chose for me. I wasn’t ready to give up the fantasy of my one, true mate.
What if it was Joe? Could I really stay under my dad’s thumb and be the subservient daughter with Joe by my side? What if it was someone worse? My life could turn out to be a miserable mess. The thought depressed me.
“Again, Sydney, it’s for the good of our kind and what’s best for this pack. We’re on the brink of extinction as each female perishes. There’s so much more you don’t understand yet. It’s time to rectify that.”
“That’s a tough break, but I’m not participating.”
“You’re the key to helping save our species. There isn’t a choice for you. It’s your destiny. You don’t understand what it means. When you do, you’ll know why this path is the right one.
“Besides, a strong male needs an independent thinking female as a partner. It’s dangerous for you to do anything else or mate with another, weaker male. That’s why you need to grow up and fast. Handling a mate and a pack is an enormous task.”
“I still don’t want any part of this.”
“Too bad. It’s already decided and will go forward.”
“Awesome. Thanks for ruining my life!” I spat.
“That’s quite enough of this temper tantrum. You’re excused.”
He didn’t need to tell me twice. I bolted from the room without another word or a backward glance. I made sure to slam the office door, storming out. Leaving was the only way to keep my temper in check in front of Dad, The Alpha.
I barely managed to stumble out the front door when the fury grew too much. I started stripping quickly to prevent my clothes from shredding. The change would be swift. I was too mad to prevent it, and I didn’t want to.
Wisely, nobody stopped me. When I was this worked up, the transformation happened fast. I only had time to leave a pile of clothes and position myself on all fours. My wolf wanted out. She was just as angry, frantic even. The first time we agreed in too long.
The first crack of bone sounded, and pain reverberated. I gasped, trying to choke down the agony. Naked, on all fours, in a compromising position, and it didn’t matter. The change consumed me.
I winced as each bone snapped, my body contorting. Everything shifted, stretching to assume the wolf’s shape. Fur sprouted from each individual pore, fitting part of a whole until it became a thick, shiny, white coat.
My silver eyes swirled, mercury pools of emotion giving way to sharpened sight. Once my ears shifted into place, sounds increased in volume to a deafening cadence.
It wasn’t until the shift completed, and the pain subsided, that I was able to gather my thoughts. Unfortunately, they turned to Mom.
Just thinking about her hurt my heart. I missed her so much. The woman was my role model, and every day I wished for her strength.
I didn’t want to find a mate this way. What if he wasn’t kind or loving? Could the Goddess choose wrong? Shifters revered and doted on their Lunas. We were lucky having true mates gifted by Selene. Together, Alpha pairs had clear minds and compassion. Combined with their leadership skills and sheer dominance, it was a true blessing.
A rogue had taken my mom. What she must have gone through—could still be going through. Her last words still confused and haunted me. With so few female wolves left, chances of falling into the rogue’s hands amplified.
“You’re my daughter in every way that matters. Go on to do great things, Sydney. Keep the faith, and know that I love you so incredibly much. The pack will keep you safe. When the time is right, your father will explain . . .”
She was gone before finishing what would be her final words to me. The pack enforcers didn’t find her in time. All that lingered was the shell of a pup, nothing left but trauma resulting in shock.
Back to the present, running off as a wolf in front of all the guys was a small act of defiance on my part. Knowing I’d do just as my Alpha expected, regardless of my own wants was a brutal fact. I wouldn’t do so without resistance every step of the way, though.
My dad was Alpha, and growing up, his word was law—duty came first. Nothing could change his mind now. We didn’t live by human rules. Laws put in place by the culmination of current and past Alphas governed our wolf packs. They commenced every decade, adding new laws, and adjusting the old ones.
Unfortunately for me, Assembly wasn’t a law they gave a damn about. Female shifters were rare nowadays—that, I did know. Never allowed to leave or attend multipack functions, I wasn’t privy to the exact amount.
Sheltered, kept in an allegorical cage. That’s my reality.
My life wasn’t ever my own. I’d settle down, rule a pack, and have pups. The only hope for the future of our kind was in the hands of the remaining females. Hence why I never had any freedom. I chafed at the idea of losing my own choices, no matter how small.
Mom’s words brushed against my thoughts once again. I never did figure out what she was trying to tell me, but had to trust that she only wanted my safety. Dad’s tactics sucked, but I knew his actions came from a place of concern and love; not just duty.
My thoughts halted. I heard a rustle. That brought the focus back to my current dilemma. Shit, instead of running, I stalled, ruminating in my own mind.
Noticing Joe, my wolf took off. I broke through the tree line and into the meadow past our house. The tall grass tickled me as I pushed through it. Each movement my wolf made, stretched our frame and soothed some of the turmoil. I needed a bit more.
Before Joe finished changing behind me, I pushed my endurance. He was fast, but resentment prompted me to take the chance.
With a sense of déjà vu, Joe tackled me to the ground. I whined at the surprise of it before getting my bearings. I writhed underneath him, growling and snapping my teeth, trying to get a good hold on him.
Of course, that didn’t happen. He was almost Alpha and had years of practice as a pack enforcer; he evaded my moves. My Luna traits strengthened as they emerged, but Joe overpowered my wolf.
He managed to get hold of my shoulder and clamped down harder than necessary. I knew it was a warning, but I was still too angry; my wolf wouldn’t yield.
Instead, my body went limp, letting him think I submitted. As his hold loosened, I thrust up, catching him off guard. It was enough to get away. I sprinted as fast as my four legs would allow. When the forest came into view, it seemed safer than the meadow. I could use the darkness and dense foliage as an advantage by dimming my white fur.
I broke through, only to be thrust into a nearby tree. My back hit with such force that I whimpered; I was pretty sure Joe had broken something.
Defeated, I lowered my head. Joe accepted my act of submission and nipped at my rump to get me moving. I took the hint and headed back, with him at my rear. Too bad he couldn’t hear me in wolf form. The obscenities I spouted to myself were violent.
With a broken rib, there wasn’t a choice. I was no match for Joe on a regular day. Injured, he’d have me where he wanted without an ounce of effort.
No, both my wolf and I surrendered. We knew when to pick our battles.
Growing up in a pack taught us many strategies and tactics that would no doubt become very useful in the future. Unfortunately, nothing would help with this situation.
By the time we made it back in front of our house, the anger dissipated. Instead, it morphed into immense sadness. I didn’t have the energy to move or care.
I took my time shifting back, feeling every crack and pop while my wolf and I separated. Once finished, with all the energy drained away, my only choice was to lay there on the grass, spent.
My body was on fire as shifter healing took care of my injuries. Joe had given me a broken a rib.
I shot Joe my middle finger and grumbled as he kept walking. “This shit makes me want to use a stronger word than fuck. Is there such a thing? Can’t wait to find out.”
Dad would be furious that I made no move to get dressed. Nudity wasn’t an
issue among the males, but taboo for the lone female showing herself to the others. My sexual wiles were too much a temptation to a pack of horny shifters.
Their only relief consisted of masturbation or a trip into town. The pack usually went to one of the bars in town to pick up human women. My eavesdropping picked up tidbits, but none shared details with me. It wasn’t proper. Yeah, so sexist.
It didn’t matter that I was attracting a crowd of curious wolves. My wolf tried to soothe me, but the range of emotions I cycled through wouldn’t allow her to.
Tears welled in my eyes, causing further shame. I couldn’t stand looking weak in front of the pack, but grief was dominant and overwhelming. I drowned in hurt, remembering the loss of Mom, and contemplating the loss of my free will.
By giving Dad what he wanted, I’d lost the right to choose my life. It was reality and stole my hope for a different outcome. Before, there was that slight chance, no matter how small. Now I was stuck. Nobody in the pack would take their eyes off me until I finally mated and was no longer their problem.
I didn’t snap out of it until Dad burst out the front door. He looked every bit the imposing Alpha he was. “Sydney June Redling, get dressed right now!”
Busted. Scrambling to put on each article of clothing, I was somewhat presentable. Well, if wild hair and tear-streaked cheeks counted. There was a high probability some of my clothes were inside out or backward.
The distraction returned me to my old self. Anger roiled again. Words spewed like darts before thinking them through.
“Did I come with a remote? No? That’s because I wasn’t meant to be controlled!”
“Look, I know you’re upset, but that’s no excuse for the free show or the disrespectful words. Your nudity isn’t fair to the pack. Now, go inside before I decide to keep you under house arrest until Assembly.”
Everyone froze at his words. Assemblies weren’t done and portrayed as drastic. I could only imagine what the pack thought right now. Continuing this drama didn’t sound desirable. I made a beeline for the front door, pushing past my dad before slipping inside.
