by Drea Shane
Taking a moment, I sniffed him with my improved sense of smell. He gave off an aroma of sweat, hay, and pure man. My wolf liked the combination. Traitor. These new feelings were confusing me, and I wasn’t ready to deal with that.
Stepping forward and turning around, I moved out of his grasp. I couldn’t allow him to make good on his suggestion in the linen closet. Able to think straight, I spoke up. “Are we done now? I’m hot and sweaty. A shower is in my future.”
Wrong words. That sounded like an invitation, and I realized it when Joe stepped forward, his lips an inch from mine. “Are you offering, Syd?”
Embarrassed didn’t even describe my current predicament. “What? No! I didn’t mean it like that!”
He chuckled at my startled expression. It didn’t stop his green eyes from searching for something, anything that would encourage him. I couldn’t give him that while so confused. Assembly, my birthday, the gray wolf, Joe’s sudden interest, and my intense reaction to him—it was all too much. I couldn’t suck in enough air.
Joe stepped back and watched me with concern. “Are you okay? I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Still struggling to breathe, I mumbled that it was fine and bolted. If I went anywhere other than the house, he’d come after me. As soon as I decided it was the safest place for me, my room beckoned.
By the time I reached the other side of my door, my mind began overloading. Everything was catching up with me, and my reality was shifting. Thoughts kept coming, and at some point, I started having a panic attack.
It was a new sensation, but the feelings washing over me were too much. My breathing grew ragged, spots began to fill my vision, and then it was gone. No more thoughts, no more anything. Peace.
I came to, body sprawled on the floor. Ugh, everything came rushing back. No idea how long I was out. But, it’s the best thing that could’ve happened to me with the inner turmoil my mind spun.
Werewolves healed fast, so I was already rid of the crick in my neck by the time I stood. That was something, at least.
No one would understand my unique situation. It wasn’t like female wolves were very common. Even then, I’d never met any, other than my own mother, our Luna. She was gone and I missed her more every day, not less. Without her, I felt lost, no one to rely on.
My life appeared as if held together by a bobby pin. One slip and you could sit by and watch the shit-show unfold. Maybe it’s a grenade pin instead. Drop that pin and watch my life explode. Both were disconcerting.
I needed a friend, and that was one thing I’d never have. Even the guys had to keep a certain distance. Dad didn’t want anything romantic to happen. It wouldn’t be fair to me or the wolves.
Reading all about friendship in books made me wish for that kind of bond. It seemed so comforting. Friendships were strong even in apocalyptic novels.
The idea of having someone to talk about clothes, boys, and all that other girl stuff was an amazing pipe dream. They were the sort of things inappropriate to discuss with the males Dad allowed around me.
Sure, there was social media, but even then, I had to be careful. Our tech whiz kept tabs on my computer, and for all I knew, it had parental locks on certain things.
That’s what made me sheltered and naïve. I wanted to experience so much more. My only hope at this point was to mate with an alpha that allowed visitation with the other Lunas. Books weren’t the same as real friendship. My wolf and I agreed on an instinctual level that knowledge was true.
The desire to have friends wasn’t the only thing, though. I’d read tons of romance books of all types. The shifter ones cracked me up and were good entertainment.
The sweet romance books were like fairy tales, and I had no clue if they resembled real life in any way. Would finding my mate be like that?
I’d been the most curious about the steamy, erotic romances. While my hormones were now coming into bloom, the imagery in each book recalled an array of emotions.
There’d never been a face to put with the scenarios, but that was changing, if Joe had anything to do with it. The shifter was getting under my skin. I didn’t find my wolf complaining either.
The day had gone by quickly. I needed to take a shower before going down to dinner. Likely, guests had trickled in, and I didn’t want to scare them off—much.
I nodded in acknowledgment to Max standing outside my door. My thoughts didn’t stop until I reached the bathroom and turned on the shower.
Once in the moist heat, my tears fell. These emotions were so hot and cold and left me reeling from the backlash. The sound of running water muffled my sniffling. It wasn’t until the water turned icy that I shut it off.
The shower was refreshing. The thought of going downstairs for dinner didn’t turn me into a basket case. I needed to be strong and show no weakness. I’d already slipped with my own pack; it couldn’t happen with the other wolves. I would accept nothing less than respect in a mate. Without some level of control, my life was forfeit with no way out.
I was too distracted to pay attention to much. With my robe wrapped around me, I opened the bathroom door and smacked into Joe. He was the last person I wanted to see right now. It was also surprising Dad allowed him up here knowing I’d only be in my robe.
“Sorry to bother you. I wanted to check and make sure you were all right. I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have come on so strong.”
“I’m fine, just overwhelmed by everything. It’s given me a lot to think about.”
That was the truth, and he could take it or leave it.
Joe tucked a wet lock behind my ear, and this time when I shivered, he noticed. “I want you, and I hope you’re okay with me fighting for you. Your dad has never allowed any of us to look at you in that way, but it’s hard not to see the incredible woman you’ve become, Syd. I can feel the connection and know I could be a potential. All I ask is that you give me the chance.”
Speechless, all I could do was nod. I didn’t trust my words or feelings at that moment. Realizing this, he shot me a sexy grin and left me standing in the hallway. Stunned by what happened, it took a minute for my senses to recover.
Shutting my bedroom door, I looked at myself in the mirror. Had I grown into this woman Joe saw? I saw my flushed cheeks and silky golden hair. My eyes were wide and slanted, showing off their silver orbs. With plump lips and skin the color of creamy porcelain, I guessed he could be right.
For the first time in my life, I saw the woman staring back at me and not a girl. Eighteen was important. I’d almost made it without realizing how much I’d changed. The tomboy that I had always been, needed to step it up.
Now more than ever, I knew I needed to make a good impression on the other males that were coming from all over in hopes of winning me. Goddess . . . that sounded so obnoxious, like I was a game show prize.
Embarrassing Dad wouldn’t reflect well on my pack. Nor my competency as an important member of werewolf society, one that I was a big part of.
I wasn’t sure what to wear, being the first time in front of the males of our kind as a potential mate. My closet was lacking in sexy apparel. I made a mental note to ask Dad about my required attire for this whole Assembly thing. It was safe to assume he hadn’t thought of that aspect.
Finally, I narrowed my options down to a lacy, red tank top and a pair of black shorts. The tank wasn’t racy but trimmed with lace around the hem.
It would have to do. The weather was too hot for anything covering more skin. Besides, skimpy equaled sexy according to my books.
Yes, I needed someone to inform me of what was reality and fiction. If not, Joe and I’d be starring in our own porn movie, giving me first-hand knowledge. Worse, the thought excited me.
As soon as my clothes were on, I dried my hair straight and pulled it over my left shoulder. With my teeth brushed, odorless deodorant on, a hair tie on my wrist, I called it good.
When finished, I twirled around in the mirror for reassurance. Satisfied, I put on my s
equined flip-flops and opened the door. Shocked that Joe wasn’t waiting on the other side, I headed downstairs on my own.
I heard a lot of commotion approaching the bottom steps. Upon appearing, the sounds grew quieter. Looking out, the first thing I noticed—the house filled to the brim with males.
Wow. I wasn’t expecting this turnout, and Assembly hadn’t even started. Things were becoming all too real for me. I didn’t even think we could fit this many wolves in our lodging accommodations.
They were staring, not bothering to hide their assessments. I felt flushed once again and stood there like a frightened deer, unsure what to do next. Joining the male population could result in me getting mauled and grabbed. But I wanted to have dinner.
My dad entered the room, and the crowd parted. Seeing him was a relief to my current predicament. He’d make sure I didn’t go hungry.
When the Alpha addressed the room, the males listened. A silent hush had fallen over the crowd. “Gentleman, may I present the pack princess and my daughter, Sydney June Redling.”
There was clapping and cheering, but I focused on making it over to Dad. When I reached him, he wrapped an arm around me and waited for the noise to die down. Having contact with my dad gave me the strength to search the sea of faces staring at me.
I expected to see some of the wolves joking around, whispering about me. But that didn’t happen. There was only pure rapture, the pheromones in the air let me know what they thought of me. My cheeks went up in flames.
My saving grace was Dad pulling out a seat for me to the left of him at the head of the table. Joe sat to his right. My dad, Alpha Redling, was making it clear who would be the dominant wolves at this event. Every male in the room bared their necks in submission, receiving the signal loud and clear.
Before they served our food, our Alpha gave thanks to our Goddess.
Satisfied, Dad called for two of the lower ranking males to serve us. Once our food sat on the table, they guided the rest of the room into the kitchen to fix their own plates. It would be impossible to attempt serving the number of wolves crammed in this house. More were still trickling in, and the entire bottom floor was standing room only.
So-overwhelming. How could this many wolves be here for me? How would I ever end up with my mate in the sea of men during such a short window of time?
What if they came from out of the country? If they didn’t speak English, how would we communicate? That issue with a potential had the makings of a disaster.
I hoped Dad had a plan because currently, all I wanted to do involved returning to hiding in my room.
My nostrils flared, and my eyes scoured the room at the thought of my mystery wolf being present. I stared intently at all the males in the area, but with everyone watching me like I was on display, he didn’t stand out. I couldn’t pull out a single smell with so many males near each other. Disappointment set in. If he was here, my gray wolf made no point to let me know.
With a now sour mood, I finished the last of my food. My room was calling, but I needed to use care when planning my escape. There wasn’t much patience left for my wolf or me. Having tact would be tricky. I had no energy to pretend involvement and act alluring tonight with the wolves.
Trying not to attract attention, I placed a gentle hand on his arm. One look conveyed my plea. He knew me well enough to see my distress. Even though this was his doing, there was still kindness in his eyes tonight. He nodded and asked Joe to escort me.
Joe’s eyes sparkled in delight as he jumped up and pulled out my chair. Once standing, he reached for my hand and guided me through the room and up the stairs. We were silent, but that didn’t stop the tension from crackling between us.
When I turned to open the door to my room, Joe pulled me back into his arms. I was too shocked to react. He held my face in his calloused hands and planted kisses all over my face before they settled on my mouth.
I should’ve pulled away, but either the shock of his actions, or my wolf, stopped me. When he pressed his lips against mine, I reveled in the sensation. His mouth opened, and I felt his tongue run over the seam of my mouth, asking for entry. My wolf was in heaven. I allowed Joe to deepen the kiss and let him take the lead.
Before I knew it, he’d backed me up against the wall, allowing the hardness of his body to press into the contours of my own. It was tantalizing. The contact sizzled across every inch of my skin.
This was much more intense than our earlier interlude in the linen closet. My wolf wanted out. She wanted Joe at this moment.
I had to struggle to keep control of her and prevent the urge to mark him right then and there. This was new to me, and I had no practice controlling my shifter side in a situation like this. Something else to ask about later. Her eagerness wasn’t enough to force me to lose control of this magical moment.
Having Joe near me in a way that wasn’t angry or aggressive was more than pleasant. We were so close to each other and in a state of bliss. I could feel the heat emanating off us both, blending in a steamy temperature. We were super-hot together—literally.
How had I deprived myself this simple act of kissing? I should have given in earlier today. When our kiss turned rough and our breathing grew ragged, we had to stop.
My hormones were exactly that. I felt like a moaning whore. My wolf had no shame. She wanted to climb Joe like a tree and let him have his wicked way with us.
That was enough for him to make his point. He ran his thumb over my bottom lip before releasing me. He gave me a genuine smile and left me leaning against the wall, in a daze. Not even a sarcastic retort could form in the hazy mess of desire.
How could the Joe I’d known my entire life be the same one that just rocked my world? I was so confused. Before anyone found me out in the open and tried stealing time with me, I hurried into my bedroom and shut the door.
The internet was a wonderful thing. I turned my laptop on and pulled up my preferred search engine. There were so many questions needing answers and advice required from another female.
Doubtful anything useful would come from this testosterone infested house. Unless useful consisted of rumors carried by men, spread by fools, and accepted by idiots. Who needs drag queens when I’m part of a pack of drama kings?
Think, Sydney. Where would you find answers about guys, fashion, and what to do when one wanted to become a woman? I needed to get educated stat before these wolves ate me alive.
I’d established social media was too monitored, and books weren’t a good example of reality. Though, the book scenes were proving to be deliciously accurate. I should read a book to ease some of the tension Joe left behind. Nope, my wolf needed a timeout. It’d be easier to ignore her opinion if I had the ability to conjure mental duct tape.
I also didn’t want to waste my time with magazines. They weren’t realistic fashion and were for the rich and famous, women needing a status symbol. I’d no desire appearing as that type of woman.
Fashion wasn’t something I focused on. There wasn’t anyone to impress. Who cared if my jeans were skinny or boot cut? It’s such a trivial matter, and now I had to care.
What did I want? I needed a stylist and a personal shopper. Dad would never go for it, though. He wouldn’t let me off this property unmated, and he wouldn’t allow anyone to come here, either. I wondered if this was how zoo animals felt. Seemed similar enough to me.
Drumming my fingers on the desk, I wracked my brain for a solution. The Alpha wouldn’t appreciate looking bad in front of all these wolves.
If I spent the whole Assembly looking like a boy instead of true Luna material, it would reflect poorly on him. This train of thought gave me a few ideas.
Scenarios raced through my mind as I used the internet to gather information. I hoped this worked. Compromise. What a great concept.
I shut down my computer, debating on how to get ahold of my dad when there was a knock on the door.
“Yes, who is it?” I normally wouldn’t ask, but who knew what waited on the
other side for me. Better to be cautious.
“It’s me. Can I come in? I’d like to talk to you about a few things.”
Relief. It was Dad and exactly who I wanted to see. “Come on in.”
I swiveled around in my desk chair to drop my head in acknowledgment of his position as Alpha. It wasn’t necessary when alone, but I wanted him in a good mood before we discussed my plans.
“Hi, Daddy. I was hoping to talk to you tonight. This was perfect timing.” Giving him a sweet smile, I tried to play the Daddy’s girl card.
His expression brightened, and he looked pleased as he took a seat on the edge of my bed. He normally saw through most attempts at manipulation, so the fact that he ignored it this time was a good sign. The bedroom lacked extra seating, but he was usually the only one allowed in my room, so it was never an issue.
I noticed the large wooden box in his hands, but he slid it behind him before I could get a good look at it. Color me intrigued.
“We’re past due for a talk, and it’s a lot different than the one we had about Assembly. I’ve been waiting for the right time, but the opportunity never came. It’s a sign you weren’t meant to hear what I had to say until this moment.
“But first, let’s hear what you have to say. I know you’re overwhelmed, and I want you to understand that I’m here for you, always.”
My smile grew, and I had to look down to cover it. I couldn’t let him know what I planned. He’d said all the right words and played into my hands. Time to see if this worked.
“So . . . this is all very overwhelming. It’s the first time I realized that I’ve no clue about the male species, despite living all my life with them. And I need advice from a woman, but ever since Mom’s kidnapping, I haven’t had anybody to talk to.”
Dad frowned, looking like he wasn’t sure about something. As Alpha, he never showed this type of vulnerability to anyone. Good. That would make this easier to sell.
