by Nikki Ashton
“How hungry are you?” I asked, taking a step closer to her.
“Very, why?”
“I really need to be inside you within, like, the next ten minutes.”
My balls began to ache as I thought about getting Sarah naked and having her ride me in the front seat of my car. Me with my jeans around my ankles while Sarah’s small but perfectly formed tits jiggled up and down.
Sarah cleared her throat and put a hand to her neck as her chest heaved. “Where can we go?”
“Get in the car quick, I know somewhere we can park up.”
Up until now I hadn’t wanted to have sex with Sarah in my car, I thought she was worth more than that, but tonight had to be an exception, otherwise I think we’d both explode.
“Oh shit,” I groaned as Sarah made my dream a reality and she drew a figure of eight with her hips. “That’s amazing.”
She then went back in the other direction, and I thought I was going to blow quicker than I’d ever done before. When she then started to roll her hips in an undulating wave, my palms hit the roof of the car.
“Oh, my fucking God.”
Sarah leaned forward and nibbled on my earlobe. “Is that nice?” she whispered.
I wasn’t sure I could make a coherent sentence so just nodded and dropped my hands to her slim waist.
She was completely naked while my jeans were around my ankles and my shirt was undone; she’d wanted to lick my tattoo for some reason, which was a bit off the wall, but who was I to complain. Her hair that had been up in a messy bun, was now streaming down her back, almost touching the curve of her fucking amazing arse. I was desperate to tug on it, but I had sensation overload and kept changing my mind on what I wanted to do to her. When she groaned and let her head drop back, my mind was made up and. I instantly took one of her nipples into my mouth and sucked hard.
She’d always been responsive to my touch, right from the first time we’d had sex, but tonight something had turned her confidence up a few notches. I was sure it had been the run in with Mackenna. It must have been a while since she’d held her own with anyone, and I imagined that standing up to Mackenna had made her feel amazing. Shit, she was amazing.
The more I sucked, the faster Sarah bounced and thrust, this in turn sent me crazy with need for her. I couldn’t get enough of her creamy skin, of her smell, of her fucking beauty. The pleasure I was feeling couldn’t stop the doubts though, and with each groan that echoed around the inside of my car another reason of why I didn’t deserve her would tumble around my brain.
“Adam,” Sarah cried and slapped her hand against the steamed-up window next to us. “Oh God, I’m gonna, oh shit, I’m gonna…”
She didn’t speak again but screamed out her orgasm as mine continued to build.
“Keep going,” I said, breathing heavily. “I’m so fucking close.”
Sarah’s eyes peeped open and she gave me the laziest, sexiest smile I had ever seen. She momentarily stopped moving, but when I grabbed her tit and gave it a squeeze, she gripped my shoulders and picked up the pace again.
My balls began to scream for release as the pull in the pit of my stomach built and sparks flew around my body. Sarah bounced and when I saw a familiar red blush creep over her body, I knew she was close to orgasming again. I reached between us and circled her clit with my fingers, while at the same time as sucking hard on the soft skin on the rise of her chest.
“Oh shit, again,” she called out breathlessly and bucked above me without any rhythm.
It was enough to finally send me crashing over the edge of oblivion and I screamed out for God and for Sarah. My hips started to piston upward and I grabbed Sarah’s hips to still her, afraid that if she didn’t, I would blow so hard I might burst a blood vessel.
“Fuuuck.”
I came and I came, and I came, it felt as though it was never ending and with each sharp punch of my hips, Sarah took it. She rode with it and then came for a third time.
The car was filled with the heady scent of sex, the windows all steamed up and the air was punctuated with our sighs and heavy breathing as we tried to come down from the primal and fucking hot as hell experience we’d just had.
“Gets better every fucking time,” I whispered as I leaned forward and took Sarah’s mouth in mine for a sweet kiss. “Amazing.”
“I came three times.” She dropped her head to my shoulder and let out a contented sigh. “I’m exhausted.”
I smiled against the skin of her shoulder and pulled her closer to my chest. “I can’t believe how we fit so fucking perfectly.”
“Hmm.” She snuggled closer and I knew she was about to fall asleep.
“Hey, don’t fall asleep. We need to go and eat, unless you want to go home?”
“Nope.” She shot up and frowned. “I’m ready for crispy beef and fried rice.”
I laughed and slapped her bum lightly. “Okay, get dressed babe and I’ll feed you.”
“Ah, perfect end to a perfect night.”
I couldn’t help the huge fucking grin on my face.
Sarah was going to keep my car overnight, and by the time she dropped me off, it was gone midnight. I was surprised to see a light on in Mum and Roger’s room. I could hear them talking as I went up the stairs and it sounded like they were arguing. Their room was the other end of the landing to mine, so when I got a few stairs up, I stopped to listen.
“You’re being selfish, Elouise. You need to tell Adam at least, then it’s his choice what he does.”
My ears picked up at the mention of my name, so I held my breath as my mum’s softer tone started.
“I told you no. I’m not. It’s not necessary.”
“Well I think you’re wrong. Just like you should have reported that monster that beat him.”
My heart beat wildly at the mention of Eric.
Mum hissed something back, but I couldn’t hear properly. I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans and tried to even out my breathing as I continued to listen and tried to ignore the images of Eric in my head. No one said anything else, I heard the bed creak and then the click of a lamp and there was silence. I continued on up the stairs, coughing so they wouldn’t think I’d been listening in on them. It worked because as I got to my bedroom door, I heard Roger softly calling my name.
“You okay?” he asked. “Had a good day?”
He scratched at his chest and more thoughts of Eric invaded my head. He’d always been bare chested and wearing grubby tracksuit bottoms that he’d worn for bed when he’d sat at the breakfast table, whereas Roger always wore a t-shirt with his pyjama bottoms and always came down to breakfast fully clothed.
“Yeah it was good thanks,” I whispered, aware that waking Lori would be a fate worse than death for us all if she was tired the next day. “I came back early though, to see Sarah. She had Lori with her all afternoon.”
Roger scrubbed a hand over his stubble. “Yeah so I believe. I’ll thank her when I see her. I was called into work, one of our customer’s servers had a power outage and it took nearly all day to get it back up. I didn’t realise your mum had a hairdresser appointment.”
I studied him and realised how tired he looked. He worked some long fucking hours and still found time to take Lori to all the clubs she insisted on going to. He was also the one who came to all my matches, so how he found time to relax I had no idea.
“Anyway, I’ll let you get to bed, I just wanted to check you were okay and didn’t need a bucket after a day of drinking.” He grinned but when I didn’t respond, it dropped from his face. “Did you lock up?”
I nodded, not using my usual snarky response of ‘no I left everything open’. “Yeah.”
“Great, thanks for that.”
“No problem. G’night.”
“Night, see you in the morning.”
As he padded back to his and Mum’s room, it struck me that Roger had been the one to check I’d had a good day, the one who as usual checked to see if I needed anything. The one to parent me.
/>
“Hey, Roger,” I called softly.
He turned quickly, his hand at his mouth covering a yawn.
“Thanks again for the money for my birthday. I know it was all from you, so I really appreciate it.”
He looked taken aback and his eyes went wide. “N-no problem. My pleasure.”
I didn’t say anything else but turned and went to my room. When I turned on the lamp, I saw some forms on my desk with a note attached to them. I picked them up and couldn’t believe what I was seeing, they were Student loan forms, all filled in and signed at the bottom by Roger.
I looked down at the note and blew out a breath.
Adam,
I know these are too late for this year, but I hadn’t realised your mum had them and just not filled them in. I thought she had, and you’d been refused, so sorry about that. I found them yesterday under some magazines. Maybe you should contact clearance and see if they can find a spot somewhere, or at least keep these safe for next year.
Roger
When the tight prickle of emotion, hit the back of my throat, I was surprised. I didn’t think I cared about anything or anyone other than Lori and now Sarah, but Roger had caught me unawares and I instantly felt bad about all the shit I’d given him. He was a decent bloke, like Mum had always said, I had just never trusted her word before. Especially as she’d told me Eric was good man too.
I folded the papers up and put them in my drawer, and it was then that I noticed Sarah’s notebook. The one I’d taken when she’d left it in TJ’s before we got together. I’d forgotten I had it. I ran a finger over the pink and yellow flowered cover and contemplated taking it out and reading it, but somehow it didn’t seem right. I should probably give it back to her. I was fucked, because I shouldn’t have taken it in the first place. I just wished I’d had that realisation on the day I’d picked it up from the table. Just another of my regrets where she was concerned.
Pushing the drawer closed I glanced over my shoulder at my bedroom door, thinking about Roger a few feet away and wondered if he regretted anything; like marrying my mum. Then I remembered what he’d said to me once, when we first moved in. I’d been playing up and refused to eat dinner with him and he said;
“Push all you like, Adam, but I’m here to stay. I love your mum and believe it or not I love you and Lori too. Whatever happens in this family that’s what we’ll always be, a family; I’ll always be here for you to rely on, so stop acting like an idiot and drop that barrier, because I’m not going to hurt you.”
He was right, he was always there for us and I could always rely on him.
He proved it again a few hours later. At around three am, when I had a nightmare about Eric beating me. Roger was the one who rushed in and calmed me down and then sat at my desk until I fell back to sleep.
10
Sarah
My stomach cramped as I walked up to the entrance of the Tesco Express, the scene of one of the worst nights of my life. The cramps weren’t just because of nerves at revisiting the place, but also because I had my period. To be honest, although I knew Adam and I were covered with contraception when we didn’t use condoms, I’d still been worried. The way my life had gone so far it would be my luck to fall pregnant with my new boyfriend. My new boyfriend who had a dad that petrified me.
We still hadn’t really talked about him, his dad, but I knew we’d have to at some point. If only about the fact that while I was trying hard not to live my life in fear, I was terrified. Every day I walked around with my eyes on alert. I was forever watching and waiting but needing to move forward.
That was why I’d gone to the shop alone. I had to move on and going to this particular shop, alone, would hopefully help to dispel more than one nightmare. Pushing my shoulders back, I stepped towards the automatic door of the store. In the brief moments while I waited for it to start to slide open, I took a deep breath and steeled myself. Once I was inside, I didn’t feel as anxious as I’d expected to. I didn’t feel the need to sing in my head, or even to reach under my jumper for my wrist, what I did do was picture Adam smiling at me. The moment I envisaged his blue eyes shining, the comfort was instant. I felt calmer and braver as I walked around the store, breathing slowly and carefully, not rushing to get what I needed and then get out.
I picked up a couple of chocolate bars, one that I knew Mum liked and one for me as I always needed chocolate when I had my period, I also got a jar of Nutella; I definitely felt the chocolate munchies coming on. As I wandered down the magazine aisle, I felt a creeping sensation and the hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention. Quickly swivelling around, I clutched my basket in front of me like an incompetent shield, but there was no one there, just a little old lady reading the back of one of the paperbacks from the display shelf.
Shuddering, I remembered about the security mirror, so looked up at it. I couldn’t see anyone in the next couple of aisles and there was only a young boy at the checkout.
“Stupid idiot,” I muttered to myself and blew out my cheeks.
After picking up a football magazine that I knew Adam liked, I made my way to the checkout. I was pleased to see Rita there, the lady who’d been working the night of the robbery. She looked a little thinner than I remembered, and when she smiled at me it barely touched the edges of her mouth.
“Hi, Sarah.”
She sounded pleased to see me though, and when I placed my basket in front of her, she reached for my hand and gave it a quick rub.
“How’ve you been?” she asked, concern filling her gaze.
“Okay, you know. How about you?”
She shrugged and took one of the items from my basket to scan it. “I can’t work in the evenings anymore. I’m too nervous. Which is a pain because I’ve now got to find childcare, whereas my husband is home at night.”
“Really, that’s awful. Have you seen a counsellor about it?” I contemplated whether I had Eleanor’s card in my purse. I knew if anyone could help Rita she could, or at least recommend someone.
“I haven’t, but my husband wants me to. Plus, this place and Murray have been very worried. I’m going to be getting a call soon to arrange something; our HR department have sorted it.”
I felt a sense of relief for her, knowing she was going to get help. It wasn’t any fun feeling anxious all the time, particularly when it wasn’t anything you could change. All Rita could do, all I could do, was learn how to cope with the past to be able to move on with the future.
“It’ll be the best thing you do,” I said as Rita scanned Adam’s magazine. “It really helps me.”
I was a little taken aback that I’d told her I was in therapy, as I didn’t tell many people, but I was sure knowing that there were others in the same boat might help her. Rita nodded and gave me an attempt at a smile.
“I hope so, I really do. Now, is there anything else I can get you?”
I shook my head and reached to my back pocket for my card, but Rita’s hand shot out and landed on my shoulder.
“No, it’s free still. I just need to get Murray from out of the back, so he can sign for it.”
“Are you sure?”
“God, yes. He got the go ahead from head office. He has to sign for it, so give me one minute.” She leaned around me to speak to the old lady who’d been looking at the books. “Would you like to go to the next till along, my love.”
The old lady smiled and moved past me, and as I watched her, I could have sworn I saw a flash of a navy-blue coat out of the corner of my eye, but it quickly disappeared. My skin prickled with a cold shiver and I had a strong sensation of being watched.
Swallowing hard and wrapping my arms around me, I waited for Rita to come back. The seconds seemed to last for far too long, all I wanted to do was get out of there. Finally, Rita reappeared with Murray following her.
“Sarah, how are you?” he asked, his smile much brighter than the one Rita had offered to me. “How’s Adam?”
“He’s good thanks, we both are. We’ve both be
en speaking to counsellors, which has helped.”
Both of us looked at Rita who was listening intently to me.
“I know,” she replied with a quiet laugh. “It’s going to happen.”
I picked up my bag of things and smiled at them both. “That’s really kind of you again, for this. We really appreciate it.”
“No problem,” Murray replied waving me away. “Say hello to Adam for me, I haven’t seen him since that night.”
“I will do.”
“His dad said he was worried about him getting flashbacks, so he’s been trying to get anything for him that Adam might need.”
“He did?” I smiled as I thought again of what a nice man Roger was.
“Yes,” Murray nodded sagely. “I think it’s for the best, after all he was the one who could have ended up shot if things hadn’t gone right.”
My stomach dropped at the thought. Images of the dead eyes of the man who’d been intent on shooting me, formed in my head.
“I’m sorry, Sarah,” Murray said slapping a hand to his head. “I shouldn’t have said that, I could cut my tongue out.”
“Honestly, it’s fine. He didn’t get hurt, so everything is okay.” I gave him a wavering smile and cleared my throat. “Anyway, I’d better go. Great to see you both.”
Rita and Murray said goodbye and I left the store, ready to make the mile and a half walk back home. Mum hadn’t wanted me to walk, not with Mr Mills being around. She’d said she’d call at the shops on the way back from work, but it was half-term and I’d been cooped up in the house all day and walking helped with the cramps, so had decided not to wait. Now though, after Murray reminding me about Adam almost getting shot, and the feeling I was being watched, I wish I’d waited.
Trying to put all my worries to one side, I pulled my scarf a little tighter around my neck and began the walk back. I was getting a little more used to the routes, having decided to take more notice when Adam picked me up in his car, that and spending half an hour on Google maps before I’d set off. To walk to and from the shop, I’d picked a route that kept me in the open residential areas where possible.
