by Bailey B
“Logan?”
No response. I touch his arm and shake him a little, ignoring the fire in my veins. I need to sit down and have a come-to-Jesus meeting with my body. We—my heart, my head, my stomach and just for shits and giggles I'm going to say my vagina too—we all need to understand that Logan is bad news. He will obliterate us. Hell, he’s already destroying us and we aren’t fully friends at this point. Yet.
“Logan?” Still nothing. The dude’s in shock and I need him to focus. I slap him across the face and bite back a smile, enjoying my hand upon his skin more than I should. Especially considering the circumstances.
Logan blinks and looks down at me, as if this is the first time he’s realizing I’m inside his house.
“Where is your phone?” I vaguely remember why I’m here, because my phone is still in his car, but Logan’s is closer and time is of the essence.
“It’s…it’s...in...mmm...mmy…” his thumb hitches over his shoulder.
I don’t wait for Logan to finish. I step around him and run into his bedroom. Any other time I’d appreciate how clean it is or take in the little things that make Logan who he is to try and better understand the person he’s become, but this isn’t a social call. This is life or death. Literally.
I snatch his phone off his desk. “What’s your password?”
“0916,” Cooper yells.
The screen unlocks to a photo of Logan, Cooper and Piper at a birthday party as kids. She’s in the middle, wearing a bright yellow bathing suit. It’s a beautiful picture. One I want to know more about, but again…not the time.
“911, what’s your emergency?” the speaker on his phone booms.
I sprint back into the hallway, around Logan and stand at the bathroom entrance. “Hi. Um, I’m at my friend's house, and she just tried to kill herself. There’s blood everywhere. My other friend is trying to stop the bleeding but she’s lost a lot. We need someone here stat.”
“Take a breath ma’am. Have you applied pressure to the wounds?”
I suck in a breath, my lungs burning as I exhale, not realizing I had said all that in one mouthful. “Yes.”
“Good. I have someone on their way. Is she breathing?”
I look to Cooper, who’s staring at me wide eyed. Either he doesn’t know or she’s not. Both options aren’t good. I step into the bathroom, my shoes leaving bloody water footprints on white tiles that hadn’t yet been stained. I rest my hand on Piper’s chest and wait. The rise and fall of her lungs is shallow, and almost unnoticeable, but it’s there. “Yes.”
“Good. Good. Stay with me. Tell me something about her?”
I look to Cooper again. He’s shaking. Poor guy is still freaking out, but at least he’s stopped crying. I hate it when men cry. Not because it kills their masculinity or anything like that, but because for a man to allow himself to be that vulnerable, the pain he’s feeling must be so great that it just explodes out of him.
I glance up and over to Logan. He’s trembling, still stuck like a statue in an earthquake in the hallway. I bring my gaze back to Cooper. I reach out and touch his shoulder; he flinches but looks up at me. “Cooper? Tell me something about Piper? Anything.”
He blinks twice, sucking in a ragged breath. “Um…she’s allergic to cats.”
I try to smile and nod in encouragement, but it’s hard. Seeing Piper like this brings up a horde of memories of my mom. She didn’t die by trying to kill herself or anything like that. The cancer took her, but still. Death is death. Whether it happens by your own hand, someone else’s, or sheer dumb luck, death leaves a veil of darkness in her wake. Some veils are just harder to see through than others. I close my eyes and swallow, pushing the memories of all the tubes and wires away.
“Indian River EMT!” The screen door swings open. A male paramedic comes in first, carrying a medical bag, with two others close behind pushing a gurney. He stops in the doorway for a moment, taking in the bloody mess then kneels beside Cooper.
I step out of the way and into the hall again. Logan’s still unaware of his surroundings, his gaze stuck on Piper as if the image disconnects from his brain. I grab him by the arm and pull him back into his bedroom doorway, out of the path of the paramedics. Everything that happens next is a blur of motions. Before I can decode the medical jargon the paramedics are saying to each other, Piper is lifted onto the gurney and pushed out the door. Cooper stands in the hallway looking between his traumatized brother and dying sister.
“Go,” I tell him. “I’ve got this. Take care of her.”
Cooper nods without hesitation and runs after the paramedics. He slams the door shut behind him, snapping Logan out of his daze.
Logan’s eyes narrow, a deep crease forming between his thick brows. “Get the fuck out.”
11
Danika
“Excuse me?”
Logan doesn’t reply. Instead, he turns and slams his bedroom door so hard the pictures on the wall rattle. I stand there utterly in shock. I’ve just helped with one of the most traumatic experiences any of us has been through, and he’s kicking me out? What the hell? Not forty-five minutes ago we had a breakthrough out in his car. We are becoming friends again, I think, and this is how I’m thanked? Fine!
Screw you Logan!
I may be struggling with if I want to be just friends or something more, but he jumps between enemies and potential lovers faster than Disney princesses fall in love.
I stomp down the hallway, too pissed to notice the trail of blood leading to the front door and slip. I fall to the ground, more frustrated than I was before because this is all his fault. If Logan hadn’t told me to leave, my favorite jeans wouldn’t be ruined and my ass wouldn’t be sore
I scramble to my feet and march back to Logan’s bedroom door, fully prepared to barge inside and ream him a new asshole, but it’s locked. I miss you by Blink182 seeps through the walls on full blast and my world stops.
All the frustration inside me melts away with the second verse. I lean against the door separating us, tears on the brink of escape from the realization that Logan thinks Piper is already gone.
Please, please, let Piper make it.
I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand and suck in a shaking breath. I can’t break down, not yet. I told Cooper I’d take care of Logan and that’s what I’m going to do.
I open the bathroom door and look around at the mess. There’s blood everywhere: the shower walls, the floor, the towel bar from where Cooper probably pulled himself up, and trailing through the house to the front door. Logan’s phone lies in the middle of it all, abandoned. I bend down and pick it up. Using the part of the hanging towel not stained red, I wipe the screen off and unlock it again.
The same picture greets me, only this time it seems sadder. They were such cute kids. So innocent with their whole lives ahead of them. I swallow the knot in my throat and open the recent call log. Someone’s got to tell his mom.
“Logan, sweetie, you never call. Is everything alright?” Mrs. Harris answers. Music blasts through the speaker, making her voice hard to hear. My stomach knots again, knowing I’m about to ruin her night.
“Uhh…” No. Everything is not okay. “Hi, Mrs. Harris. It’s Danika, your neighbor.”
“Oh,” she says, not bothering to hide the surprise in her voice. “Hello, dear.”
12
Danika
Logan doesn’t come to school on Monday and neither does Cooper. I’m not surprised, but I kind of want my phone. Being without it sucks. I don’t have social media, but twenty-four hours without my Kindle app or Tik-Tok has been hell. Also, I really want to know how Logan is doing. And Piper. There was some chatter about how all three of them were out today, but mostly everyone was going on about Friday’s football game. So, the Harris drama fell into the background.
After school, I sit near the kitchen window, earning a curious glance or ten from Dad, and impatiently wait for someone from the Harris household to come home. I wait at the table, a book open, u
nable to focus for what feels like an eternity when finally around dark Cooper pulls into his driveway.
I jump out of my chair so fast it topples to the floor. I whip the door open, not bothering to close it behind me and run across the grass. Cooper notices me as his Jeep beeps locked and practically collapses on the bottom step of his porch, resting his elbows on his knees.
I sit beside him. “How is she?”
“Alive.” Bloodshot eyes meet mine. Cooper looks rough. Dark circles linger and he’s aged five years in the span of a weekend. I’d bet he hasn’t slept much since Saturday, or showered. “Thanks to you.”
I don’t want to think about what could've happened had I not been there that night. I pull Cooper into a hug, like I so desperately want to do for Logan, but Logan has retreated into himself. I’m not surprised, he’s avoided emotions like the plague for as long as I can remember. I guess I was hoping that with all the changes Logan had made while I was gone, he’d have changed that too. No such luck.
“No, Coop, that was all you. You saved Piper.”
Cooper sniffles and pulls back from our embrace. We smile awkwardly at each other for a moment until he says, “I’m going to shower. I stink.”
I shrug and nod, hoping he’s not offended by my admission, but Cooper just chuckles. “See you around, Danika.”
On Tuesday, Logan’s car is in its usual space in the school parking lot, but I can’t find him anywhere. I’m dying for an update on Piper, and really need my phone. I’ve never gone this long without it. It’s not that I’m worried I’ll miss some important call from California, I washed my hands of everyone there the day we left, but having it is like having a security blanket. It makes me feel better.
“Here,” Sarah hands me my phone at lunch. “I was wondering why you were ignoring me. I texted you like a million times, but I guess Logan had this the whole time. In case you were wondering, I took a personal day yesterday.”
I anxiously take my phone from her hand and double tap the screen. Unsurprisingly, it’s dead. Doesn’t matter, I’m just glad to have it back. “Thanks. How was he?”
Sarah tilts her head to the side and looks at me skeptically. I haven’t told anyone about what’s going on in the Harris home. It’s not my place and the way people treat Piper, I think the truth would do more damage than the rumors.
“Uh… Logan is fine. Why?”
I shrug and play it cool, pretending like I’m not losing sleep over what's happening next door. “No reason. Logan just hasn’t been home much lately.”
“You little slut!” Melody yells, stomping over to the table and throwing her soda in my face.
“What the hell, Melody?” Sarah shrieks, grabbing everyone’s napkins from the table. She hands me one and I wipe my face while she dabs my chest. We seem to realize, at the same time, that our efforts are useless and toss the soggy napkins on the table.
“How did you do it?” Melody demands.
“I’ll be right back,” Sarah says, leaving me to defend myself. “I think I have an extra jacket in my locker you can borrow to cover up with.”
The thought is nice, but Sarah is half my size and has mosquito-bite-boobs. There’s no way in hell I’ll be able to get her jacket on and zipped. I cross my sticky arms over my now see-through shirt and glare at Melody. “Do. What?”
“Logan!” She screeches, slamming her hands on the table. “He broke up with me and it’s all your fault.”
I fight the grin forming and settle on a bitchy smirk. Even though Logan’s avoiding me, for reasons I can’t fathom, he’s still thinking about our conversation from the other night and that makes my stomach flutter. “Did you honestly expect things to last between you two? I mean really.”
I reach across the table and steal a tater tot from Rachel’s tray. She looks at me, wide-eyed, as I eat it. I know the potato puff has probably been fried in the same oil as today’s chicken sandwiches and isn't completely vegan but watching the shock play on both their faces is worth every microscopic animal particle. “You’re obviously not satisfying Logan if he’s seeking pleasure from everyone but you.”
“I’m gonna kill you!” Melody screams, lunging across the table at me, claws out. Her hands find my chest and shove me backwards, off of the bench. Pain radiates up my spine as my back hits the shellacked wood floor of the cafeteria. I raise my arms, covering my face from her pathetic attempt at a fight.
People gather around us, toes of colorful heels and brown shoes the only thing I see beside me. Melody slaps at my head, occasionally scratching me with her lilac acrylic claws. They hurt but don’t break skin.
I’m down for only a few moments when the attacks begin to lose momentum. I grab Melody’s right arm and shove it into her stomach, then use my other hand to grip the side of her shirt. I shift my weight faster than she can comprehend and roll on top. My fist finds her face, as she shrieks again.
People around us laugh and I notice a strange smell. I leap up, realizing Melody’s pissed herself and jump back. This is the kind of humiliation you don’t recover from. I feel bad, but the bitch shouldn’t start what she can’t finish.
The tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand on edge and I whirl around, looking for the cause. I catch a glimpse of dark hair near the corner of the cafeteria. I immediately know it's him and push my way through the circle of people around me.
“Logan!” I shout, but he’s gone so fast I wonder if I truly saw him.
On Wednesday Cooper comes back to school, which is concerning because he looks as bad if not worse than he did on Monday. We sit together at lunch. For the most part, we don’t talk. But eventually he opens up and says that Piper is okay and fingers crossed will be back to school on Friday.
Wednesday is also the first time I see Logan. He’s at his usual lunch table, glaring the whole time I’m with Cooper. I want nothing more than to strut across the cafeteria and force him to speak to me, but Logan is prideful. Having just publicly broken up with Melody, I doubt he’ll take my demands lightly. I take a breath and force myself to be patient. Logan can’t ignore me forever.
I won’t let him.
13
Logan
I hate hospitals. They smell of blood and chemicals. But for Piper I’ll put aside my own issues and be the brother she needs because today we’re bringing her home. All three of us—Mom, Cooper, and me—united to show her we’re family, and we’ve got her back.
Tomorrow she’ll attempt to resume a normal life: back to school, working a few nights with Cooper at the Red Onion, and maybe even a party or two if Cooper will let her. It’ll be hard to pretend like nothing happened in front of everyone. Piper will put a fake face on and get through it because she has no other option.
I unlock my car and turn my gaze to the white BMW pulling into Danika’s driveway. A chill slithers down my spine, it’s eerily similar to someone else’s I used to know. My feet stick to the ground as the man gets out of his car. I try to inhale, but the pressure in my chest increases.
My mind has done this to me a million times over, but that doesn’t make seeing him feel any less real. Grey eyes meet mine and the man gives a two finger salute, like we’re old friends. I don’t return the gesture, physically can’t, even though I want nothing more than to flip him the bird. It’s not until he’s disappeared inside the Winters house that my feet find the will to move.
I should get in the car. I should drive to the hospital. I’m supposed to be there in twenty minutes and be supportive to my sister. She’s going through so much more than I am right now.
Instead, I run into the house. My stomach lurches into my throat and I barely make it to the kitchen trash can in time before yellow acid expels itself.
“Fuck,” I whisper, closing my eyes, hoping to wipe that smug smile from my brain. But all I see are memories. Feel the nonexistent hand on my shoulder squeeze, lingering longer than necessary. My stomach churns again, but there’s nothing left. I dry heave over the trash can again for five minutes then
sag onto the floor.
This can’t be happening. Not again.
My gaze follows Danika as she bypasses Sarah and heads straight for Piper’s table. Rumors about where Piper has been have floated around since she got back. Most people think she was in rehab for a drug overdose while others assumed she was hooking on a street corner. If only they realized how much worse the truth was.
Danika sitting at that table could potentially send the gossip mill into overload. Piper’s everyday rumors were too much to handle, she doesn’t need new ones added into the mix. And I don’t want to risk anything tipping her over the edge again.
Where the fuck did Cooper go? He usually handles this shit.
I storm across the cafeteria and grab Danika’s arm as she sets her tray on the table, turning her to face me. I’m on edge, sleep deprived, and out of smokes. I don’t have the patience to play nice because she wants to be St. Galentine today. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“I was wondering when you’d acknowledge me again.” She reaches out, touching my arm. “How are you?”
I jerk free of her grasp and glare. This isn’t a social call. I’m not here to talk about me or my feelings. I’m fine. In fact, I’m great. Fucking great. “Leave Piper alone, Danika.”
That pretty little smile falls and Danika’s arms cross over her chest. “You can’t tell me who to be friends with, Logan. I was coming over here to tell Piper about a book I thought she might like. It’s about—”
“I don’t give two shits what the goddamn book is about!” I snap, catching the attention of more than a few people in the cafeteria. I don’t want to take my frustrations out on Danika, but she’s here and they’re uncontrollably spilling out of me. I need a drink, and a smoke, and quite frankly to get laid. I haven’t touched anyone besides that Emily chick at Jake’s party since Danika came back and it’s starting to fuck with me.
