“There is nothing we can do to help Vincent,” Damon says, going back to massaging my shoulders.
“There is nothing you want to do. I could track Vincent,” I say.
“And then what? You say he’s being tortured. But he didn’t call for you to come. He’s a fucking vampire, Amy. You go in there with him drained, he’ll kill you even if he does care about you. That’s in their nature,” Damon says with more force behind his words.
“Maybe in some of their nature, but not his. He doesn’t kill to survive,” I retort.
“I swear, some days I feel like you’re turning into a vampire rights activist,” Damon says, and I can tell he is genuinely frustrated with me. He pulls his hands off my shoulders and steps away.
“They can’t all be bad,” I argue, turning to glare at him. Now that he has his back to me, I take in the sight of his butt. Damn it, stay strong, Amy.
“Yes, yes they can. Vincent is just showing you his good side because they would love to have a witch work for them,” Damon says.
“Just like the hunters would like to have me work for them. Everyone wants something from me but I can’t get what I want.”
“I don’t want you to be a hunter,” he says.
“Good, I don’t want to be one. I just want to keep the people I care about safe,” I tell him.
“And you care about Vincent,” Damon says, his voice going quieter.
“I…I have to. How can you not care about someone that saves you?”
“You don’t have to do anything, Amy, but we won’t work if you sympathize with them,” Damon says, looking back at me.
I meet his gaze and see the hurt spreading across his face. Is this it? Is this the real break up?
“I sympathize with one vampire and it’s all over?” I ask. There’s a squeak in my voice.
Damon moves over to me, coming to kneel down in front of me. He takes my hand in his, bringing it to his lips and kissing it. My body clenches and wonders if it is time for make-up sex, but my heart feels like stones are being piled up inside of it.
“You let him take your blood,” Damon whispers.
“I know.”
“If he comes back, who is to say you won’t do that again? You have no future with him, but we…we could have a future.”
“We can’t have a future. We could never have kids. You could die any night. Hell, I could die. I’ve never been more aware of how easy life can just slip away,” I choke out. God, it feels so much better to be angry with him.
“Then just live in the moment,” Damon says as he moves forward and presses his lips to mine. They are so warm. I kiss back without even thinking about it. He gently pushes me back against the bed and I fall willingly, ready to relinquish the argument for tonight.
We make love like it is the last time. There is something bittersweet in the way his fingers play over my skin, the way my nails drag across his back. We explore each scar with our tongues. Kiss away the pain that was once burned there and cherish the memory it has left because it means we are both alive. It feels like the first time every time with Damon; he’s always showing me something new in the bedroom, surprising my body with a new flick of his tongue. We work well together like our bodies were just meant to belong to each other. It’s broken perfection – we don’t know the next time we would be able to do this. We don’t know if this night could be the last, so the passion is heightened by that fear. I don’t have it in me to be angry with him anymore. I know as he moves in and out of me at a frenzied pace that he will always forgive me for my words. When we are covered in sweat, exhausted from our lovemaking, he holds me close like he will never let me go. I snuggle into those arms, hoping he never does.
It’s hard to love a man whose future is so uncertain. I would never ask him to stop hunting vampires, just like I would never ask him to stop loving me. Life would be simpler if that were an option.
Chapter 2
I leave Damon as he is sleeping the next morning. He makes a little noise of protest before flopping over onto his stomach as I uncurl from his arms. My job as a forensic investigator means I sometimes work odd hours of the night. Sometimes my work hours are the normal 9 to 5. But quite often I find that I am out late during the middle of the night, as most murders happen between the hours of 10:00 p.m. and 3:00 a.m. I think of waking Damon to tell him goodbye, but I’m still a little hurt over the conversation we had the night before. I’m beginning to feel that our relationship is going to break apart at any moment. They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results each time – which is how our arguments have been going. The first two weeks after Damon was free of the Sisters’ grasp were magical because we almost lost each other and could finally admit we loved one another. I actually used that word for what it is designed for – to really cherish another human being. Of course, we were not questioning then what happened when Damon’s memories of me were erased. What either of us did. Damon still refuses to talk about what happened to him when the Sisters enslaved him. He likes to keep his demons in a bottle buried somewhere deep inside of him.
* * *
I worry about what will happen to him when that bottle shatters.
* * *
I walk over to my apartment to get ready. I still get a little sliver of pain each time I open my door and I’m not greeted by my dog, Bella. A shaman that could turn into a werewolf at will tore her up and left pieces of her all over my apartment. That should be enough to convince me that the supernatural is all evil, but Vincent is throwing a wrench in my entire black-and-white belief system. I wish he would just come through my balcony door. Both Faye and Damon want to put wards around my apartment so no vampire can enter, like what Damon has done to his apartment. That would mean that Vincent would never be able to visit me if he ever escaped.
Vampires were now going to be a part of my life, but I could definitely see how they could taint all aspects of it. My relationship was going great with Damon until Vincent’s charm made me feel something for him.
I start a pot of coffee then go take a shower. I enjoy hot baths, but there is nothing like a hot shower to wash away all the bad juju from a person’s mind. It’s something about the running water, I think. I get out and look at myself in the mirror. There is nothing about my reflection I find strikingly beautiful, but I guess all women think that of themselves. I’m not that tall, I have shoulder length thick brown hair, and my eyes are hazel. I’m on the side of almost being too muscular to be appealing since I not only train with a hunter but I also go to the gym at least three times a week. I’m a runner as well, though I have not run as much as I used to when Bella was around.
I kind of expected something about my appearance to change when Faye Awakened me, but physically I remained the same. My mind is just more aware of things that are not physically there.
I mean things Like James Roberts, who is hovering behind me with his throat ripped out and little maggots crawling inside of it. I’m not sure why the ghosts that appear to me always resemble a body at various stages of decomposition, but that is just the way the magic works. So thankful he can’t talk to me; he simply stands there and moves his mouth open and shut. Hopefully, by tomorrow I would be rid of him when I go to see Faye. She’s never tried to get rid of the spirits she sees, so it will be a learning curve for the both of us.
It’s cold outside, the middle of January. I pick a black, thick, long-sleeved shirt that dips down low, leaving the faint scar of a cross I have on my chest visible. I’m glad to be done with wearing turtlenecks, a requirement by Damon until the bite on my neck healed. I put on jeans and a pair of boots over them and then apply a little bit of makeup. I don’t dress to stand out in a crowd, since my job requires me to blend in, to be unseen. I go into the kitchen to enjoy a warm cup of coffee as best I can while ignoring James. His disappearance is still being investigated at the LAPD, but no one is saying murder yet since there hasn’t been a body. I know where the body is, but I’m not about
to tell them. They probably think he left town after Jennifer’s murder due to the fact that his bank accounts have been emptied. I suspect Vincent had something to do with that, but since he is not around to ask, I am just grasping at straws.
I watch a bit of news, but there is nothing really striking or unusual happening. When the clock says 7:30 a.m., I grab my purse and camera and head out the door. I look at Damon’s door and think of going in to kiss him goodbye, then decide not to. I should be home before he leaves for the night. We can do all of our kissing then. I drive to the office, only ten minutes away from my apartment complex. The city I live in is big but small at the same time. I picked my apartment due to its proximity to my work, gym, and favorite coffee shop.
The receptionist, Michelle, nods to me as I walk in through the front doors of the precinct. Michelle is a tiny woman in her mid-forties who wears way too much makeup but always has a smile on her face. She wears thick, fancy glasses that always make her blue eyes seem too large for her head. Today she’s dressed in a flowery blouse that is a bright pink to match her lipstick.
“You have someone waiting for you in your lab,” she says to me as I start to walk past her desk.
“What? Who? I don’t have any meetings scheduled for today,” I say.
“Oh, that old boyfriend of yours. What is his name? Richard? Derek? I forgot to get it, but he used to come in like a year ago and have dinner with you,” Michelle says.
“Tommy,” I say, losing all the friendliness in my voice.
“Right, that’s it! He is such a sweet boy. Pity the two of you split up,” she says.
“I don’t suppose you got the reason he’s here,” I say as my lips press together in a thin line.
“Oh, of course not, sweetie, that’s your personal business,” Michelle says innocently as if she is not the type to gossip or get into anyone’s business.
“Thanks,” I say, not meaning it, as I walk past her desk. Tommy is not one of the people I am in any mood to see. Not that we had a messy breakup; it actually went quite well as far as breakups go. I told him we made better friends because I couldn’t see myself spending the rest of my life with him as anything more. He agreed, and we remained pretty good friends until a month ago when Faye and the hunters decided to wipe Damon’s memory. I did not handle it very well, and I lashed out at the people who meant to help me the most – my friends. I still had not apologized to any of them, mainly because my life became so dangerous I felt it best to cut all ties. They did not actually support my dating Damon either. In fact, they blamed Damon for me being so distant. It’s really not his fault.
I enter my messy lab to see Tommy sitting quietly in the chair across my desk, looking down at his feet with his hands clutching the sides of the chair. Tommy is a decent-looking guy with dark hair slicked back in a smooth style. He is usually clean shaven and well groomed, but he sits in my chair with bags under his eyes and scruff around his chin. His button-up blue shirt, usually tucked into his khaki pants, is a wrinkled mess. Looking at him, I would not be surprised if his socks were mismatched. He doesn’t look like the Tommy I know, so I smooth over my negative mood at his visit and sit down behind my desk.
“Tommy,” I say, and it snaps him out of his trance. He looks at me as if I just materialized like a ghost in front of him.
“Amy, hi,” he says.
“You alright?” I ask, even though I can clearly see he is not. I wonder if he and his girlfriend, Julia, broke up.
“I’ve been better.” He tries to smile.
“What’s up?” I keep my voice neutral; I have lots of practice dealing with people in distress.
“It’s Cara,” he says. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I can’t keep losing all my friends.”
“What do you mean?” I feel a knot starting to form in my stomach. Cara is my best friend, one of the most important people in my life, even if we haven’t spoken in a month. She’s actually the person who setup myself and Tommy being together. The last time I saw her, I sent her crying to the bathroom. Still, the way Tommy said her name began to tug at all my heart strings. I would take a bullet for Cara, and I know Tommy would do the same. She is the type of person who would do anything for a friend, and she is drop dead gorgeous and a brilliant lawyer on top of that. Tommy works at the law firm with her, that’s how they met, and they became close friends quickly. Cara had a habit of picking up awkward stray friends and he is just one of them. Tommy is overly sensitive; it is one of his downfalls, one of the things I like about him but that still gets under my skin. It is unbelievable our relationship lasted as long as it did.
“Look, I know you don’t want anything to do with us anymore. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t desperate,” Tommy says.
“It’s not that I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. My life is just going in a different direction,” I answer, trying not to get too defensive.
“Look, Cara isn’t showing up to work, she won’t answer her calls, she’s close to being fired. I’ve gone to her place, but she won’t open the door for me. Her new boyfriend is a piece of shit, and I’m worried he’s the reason she won’t come out,” Tommy says.
Cara has a habit of attracting the wrong type of guy. That much is true. She has a thing for bad boys, but the moment one of them raises a fist against her she is out the door. This boyfriend has to be someone brand new because the last I saw her a month ago she was not dating anyone. Still, Cara is the type to throw everything into a relationship and always think he is the one. There had been many nights of Cara crying on my shoulder after another jerk broke her heart.
It is strange for Cara to not show up for work, though. She likes to work hard and play hard. It is even stranger for her, not to answer her door. I can see why Tommy is so distressed over it. Cara is one of the only people in their office he can talk to. Tommy doesn’t have a lot of friends despite being such a nice guy. He just isn’t that outgoing; it is the friends he has who make him get out of his comfort zone.
“Have you sent Julia over?” I ask, accidently sounding like I am jealous when I am not.
“Julia’s tried, I’ve tried. It’s been a week with no answer. Cara started acting strangely basically the day after she began seeing this new guy, Charlie, about two weeks ago. All of a sudden, she was lethargic at work, started snapping at clients. There is no talking to her,” Tommy says.
“You think Charlie is hurting her?” I ask.
“I don’t know. I’ve never met him. I just heard about him. He’s been all Cara could talk about. He is smart, funny, great in bed. It is actually embarrassing for me to listen to all of their sexual adventures,” Tommy says, looking down at his feet. Cara is usually free with talking about sex; it is not a subject she shies away from. Generally, those conversations did make Tommy’s person feel uncomfortable.
“He’s all she could talk about, but they were dating for only a week?” I ask.
“Yeah, it was strange. She started becoming a lot more conservative with her clothing as well; a lot of baggy turtlenecks. Some days she wouldn’t even put on makeup. That’s not like her.”
Something begins to tingle up my spine as if I should be putting all the pieces together a lot faster than I am.
“I think she’ll open the door for you,” Tommy says. “I know you had a harsh falling out, but Cara would be willing to forgive you the moment you send a text. Hell, she even blamed herself.”
I can tell by the way Tommy is talking he is not too pleased with that. He could hold a grudge, but so could I. I remember Tommy’s plan to fix my heartache was to get over Damon by getting under another man. It wasn’t the best advice he could have given me then. Whatever, Tommy could hold his grudge. For some reason, losing his friendship is not that important to me, but potentially losing Cara to an abusive boyfriend is something we could agree is not an option.
“I can try. I’ll text her and stop by her place after work,” I say.
“Thank you, that’s all I’m asking. Maybe
you could ask about this Charlie as well. I can’t find anything on him online; he isn’t even Facebook friends with Cara. She’s in danger of losing her job. Her parents haven’t been able to also get anything out of her. They are worried.”
That shows me how distant I really had gotten with Cara. After all, our parents were friends; I had her parents’ number in my phone. Things did not look good. Usually, when people are in domestic violence situations, the abuser does a good job of cutting off all ties and isolating the abused. I never thought Cara would be the type to get into a relationship like that so quickly and couldn’t help blaming myself. I hurt her, and often people make bad decisions when they’re hurting. I know my mind is never clear when I’m in that kind of situation.
“How are things with Julia?” I ask awkwardly.
“They’re good,” Tommy says hesitantly. “You should come to have dinner with us. How have things been with you? Are you back with Damon?”
“Things have been busy. And yes, Damon and I are back together.”
“Then you should bring him to dinner some night. Julia cooks a mean lasagna,” Tommy says.
“I’ll see. Damon’s schedule is difficult to work around, but dinner sounds nice.”
I stand, trying to picture taking Damon out to meet my friends. He has none, except for maybe Faye and this other hunter named Tristian, who doesn’t care much for me. Maybe if he saw normal life, he would…no, he probably wouldn’t. He would probably give me the speech about how much danger I am putting Julia and Tommy in if we all get together. The smile on my face becomes strained, but I do offer my hand out to Tommy to shake. He takes it awkwardly; his smile is as forced as my own. He leaves on that note with a quiet goodbye. I watch Tommy leave my office and sink back into my chair with a heavy sigh. I close my eyes to block out the sight of James, who has not left my lab the entire time. I wonder what Tommy would say if he knew exactly what my life is like now.
Fatal Allure Collection Page 24
