by L A Cotton
“Cameron, you’re eighteen. It’s senior year, I’m sure if things were… well, I’m sure your dad would tell you if he needed more help.”
He gave me a small smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I don’t know anything anymore,” he sighed. “Football, the team… Jase; it always seemed so important but now Mom might be sick, really sick, and you’re caught in the crossfire in this thing with Thatcher and I just don’t know—”
“Ssh.” I pressed my lips to the corner of his mouth. “I’m here, I’m right here.” I’ll be here as long as you need me.
Cameron held onto me like I was a life raft and he was drowning, and I realized there was so much more to the infuriating, cocky guy I knew him to be. He was shouldering the weight of the world; the pressures and expectations of the team against his family’s situation. And now, for reasons I still didn’t quite understand, he’d taken on my worries too.
I’d spent almost six years hating him. For being Jason’s sidekick. For standing by, even helping, my step-brother make my life hell. I hated their stupid football team, that hadn’t changed. I hated what they stood for, what they represented. The way people worshipped the ground they walked on and excused their shitty behavior because they wore a blue and white jersey. I hated the whole damn institution.
But I also couldn’t deny that although I hated Rixon Raiders with every fiber of my being, I was pretty sure I was falling for one.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Cameron
I left Hailee asleep in Felicity’s bed. She was exhausted. After we’d talked and kissed and touched some more, she started to crash. So I’d told her to get some rest and that I would check in with her later. I needed some air. Not from Hailee, she’d been perfect. Everything I needed and hadn’t even realized. But she’d said something when we were together, something I couldn’t shake.
Heading over to Ash’s house, I was hardly surprised to pass Felicity on her way out, Asher hot on her heels. “Do I even want to know?” I asked him as we both watched her storm from the house, fists clenched by her sides, anger rolling off her in waves.
“Just Jase being his regular asshole self.” He shrugged. “I’ll go make sure she’s okay.”
I gave him a nod and he took off after her. At least now we had the house to ourselves. I found Jase in the kitchen, nursing a funky looking protein drink.
“Did you do it?” I looked him in the eye, praying to God Hailee was wrong.
“What the fuck did you say?” Jase’s eyes narrowed dangerously as he rose to his full height.
“Tell me you didn’t do it? Look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t set this whole thing up to ruin her?”
I hadn’t even considered it until Hailee planted the seed. But as I’d lay there, watching her, it had taken root, growing into something ugly. Something I couldn’t stop.
It was a stretch though. Jason hated Thatcher, so the idea of them colluding to hurt Hailee was out of the question. Especially given the history between them. But I couldn’t help but wonder if he’d had a hand in everything going down the way it had.
“You think I had something to do with…” He dragged a hand down his face, letting out a heavy sigh. “No, I didn’t fucking do it. But part of me wishes I had. Is that what you want to hear?”
“But Aimee—”
“Aimee has nothing to do with this.”
“You fucked Thatcher’s sister and sent him a video of the two of you.” It was low, even for my best friend, and it had raised the stakes in their war. But he’d had his reasons. For as messed up as it was, Jase never acted without motivation or provocation and Aimee hurt him in a way few ever had.
“Yeah, well she was a conniving bitch who got what she deserved.”
“There’s something very wrong with you; you know that, right?” I hadn’t known what he planned to do to Aimee, but even if I had, there would have been no stopping him. He’d let her in, only for her to throw it back in his face. And in his twisted logic, Jason had only been killing two birds with one stone.
“Go fuck yourself, Chase. You don’t know what it’s like walking in my shoes.”
“Boo fucking hoo. You have this whole goddamn town at your feet. But it doesn’t mean you can walk all over people, Jase. There are consequences to your actions. Just because you didn’t pull the trigger on this doesn’t mean it doesn’t have your prints all over it. If you hadn’t started this thing with Thatcher, Hailee would never have got caught in the crossfire.”
“You think I give a shit?” He folded his arms across his chest, raising a brow. “You have no idea what it’s like living with her. Pretending everything is fine when it’s not fucking fine. My mom left because of her.”
“Hailee?” I frowned, confused. “Your mom didn’t leave because of Hailee. She left because your dad couldn’t let go of his past.” He was married to the game, the future he’d lost out on, the future Jase had within his grasp.
Anger ignited in his eyes, the muscle in his jaw pulsating. “I’m talking about Denise, dickhead. They were working things out until she came along.” He all but spat the word.
“Jase, come on, it was over.” Things had been rocky between his mom and dad long before Denise came onto the scene. “This thing with Hailee, it isn’t fair. She isn’t her mom. You can’t keep punishing—”
“You think I’m punishing her?” He barked, a wicked glint in his eyes. “I’m not punishing Hailee; I just don’t fucking like her. She thinks the sun shines out of her mom’s ass. She has no idea what a homewrecking bitch she really is. Do you know she chased him? She spent months sniffing around my dad when he and mom were trying to work things out. I’d catch her calling him, even caught them almost fucking once, and I heard Mom call him out on it.”
“Shit, man, I didn’t know…”
“No, you didn’t.” His expression was guarded.
“You never said anything?” But then it was no surprise. Jase was a closed book to everyone around him. Me included.
“What was I supposed to say? My dad, a local hero, a man everyone worshipped, was a cheating son of a bitch who cared more about getting his dick wet with some whore than fixing his marriage?”
“Does he know you know?”
“What do you think?” he snarled.
Mr. Ford didn’t know. If he did, there was no way Jase would have still been living under his roof because shit would have hit the fan long before now.
“You could have left with your mom, moved to Pittsburg and transferred schools?”
“And risked my whole future?”
Even now, with the truth laid out before him, it still all came down to football. I couldn’t blame him for resenting Hailee’s mom. Hating her, even. But Hailee wasn’t her mom. She wasn’t the responsible party here. She was just another innocent kid caught up in the mess her parent created.
And she had no idea about the truth of the situation.
“I get it,” I admitted. “I’d hate her too. But Hailee is—”
“Hailee is a sanctimonious bitch who thinks she’s better than me. She always has. Did you know her old man was a big hot shot football player at college?” I shook my head, anger rippling up my spine at the way he talked about her. But I wasn’t about to start something I wasn’t sure I could finish.
Jase went on, “Yeah, played running back for Rutgers. He knocked up Denise when they were in junior year and left her carrying the baby while he pursued football and pussy.”
“I had no idea.” But it explained some of Hailee’s attitude towards football, towards us. The team.
She’d grown up with no father because he chose the game, the life, over her and her mom.
“If you hate her so much, why haven’t you told her the truth?”
Jase’s eyes darkened, but I saw the hesitation there. When he didn’t answer, I added, “Know what I think? I think you’re lashing out at her because you can’t go after Denise. Deep down, you know your dad will pick Denise because he loves her,
and people do crazy shit in the name of love. And that scares you.”
I’d known Mr. Ford since I was just a kid and I’d never seen him act with Mrs. Ford, the way he did with Denise. He didn’t just love her, he adored her. And for the first time ever, Jason wasn’t first string in his father’s life.
“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I?” I knew I was right. Jason was still just a twelve-year-old kid who had found out his dad had fallen in love with another woman.
“No,” Hailee’s voice cut through the room and my stomach sank. Shit, she wasn’t supposed to be here. She was supposed to be at Felicity’s house, where I’d left her sleeping.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jase growled.
“I came to find Flick; she wasn’t answering her phone.”
He grumbled something under his breath, irritation radiating from him, but Hailee added, “You’re joking, right? What you said about my … my mom, it’s just cruel joke?”
The pain in her voice cut through me like bullets. I wanted to turn around and say something to comfort her, to fix this, but I was rooted to the spot, unable to move, the weight of her stare burning into my back.
“It’s the truth, little sister,” Jase said mockingly, and I wanted to drive my fist into his face just to shut him up. “Your mom isn’t the upstanding woman you think she is.”
“No…” she whispered, her voice broken. “I don’t believe you, you’re lying. You’re just trying to hurt me.”
“Not so smug now, are you?” Jase laughed bitterly. “You hate me, hate everything I stand for because your dad was a piece of shit who didn’t stand up and take responsibility for his mistakes, but it didn’t stop your mom making a play for my dad. She practically begged him to fuck her. Was ready to spread her legs like a—”
“You need to back off.” I stepped in front of Jason, shielding Hailee from him.
His lips curled in a vicious smirk as realization dawned in his dark gaze. “I knew it. I knew you were fucking hard for her. All these years, you went along with my shit, played the game, but it wasn’t for my benefit, was it? It was for hers. You were protecting her. You chose her over me.”
“I chose you, remember?” I gave him a pointed look, my fists curled at my sides as I forced myself to remain calm, to not get drawn into his malicious game.
“Nah, man.” Jase shook his head. “You didn’t choose me. You chose her. Are you fucking her?”
Hailee’s harsh intake of breath made me flinch. But I didn’t turn around to look at her still, I couldn’t.
“I asked you a question.” He scratched his jaw, waiting for an answer.
“No,” I lied, hating myself. I looked my best friend dead in the eye and lied. But I knew if I confessed, this would end badly. Far worse than it was already heading.
“But you want to, don’t you?”
“Jase, man, come on. Don’t do this.”
“Do what? Ask my best friend if all this time he’s been planning on stabbing me in the back and all over some self-righteous bitch?” His eyes flicked over my shoulder to Hailee and my spine went rigid.
“It isn’t like that and you know it.” My teeth ground together behind my lips as I tried to get a handle on the anger boiling in my veins. But for as much as I wanted to protect her, to defend Hailee’s honor against Jason and his cruel tongue, I needed his eyes off her and on me more.
“Nah, I don’t know anything anymore.” He inclined his head, rubbing his jaw harshly. “I trusted you. I trusted you with my life. It was you and me, bro. We were going to be unstoppable. Nothing was going to ever come between us, remember?” Jase ate up the distance between us until we were toe-to-toe, staring at me as if he no longer recognized me. Slamming his shoulder into mine, he said, “I hope she’s worth it,” and then he stormed out of the room.
I released the breath I’d been holding, turning slowly to face Hailee. She was pale, her face a mask of sadness as silent tears streaked down her cheeks. “Hailee, I—”
“Don’t, okay.” Her voice trembled as she backed up. “Just don’t.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
Silence enveloped us. Thick and suffocating. But I didn’t know how to fix this. She wasn’t supposed to be here, she wasn’t supposed to hear any of this.
After a few seconds, Hailee finally broke the tension. “Is it true? Was he telling the truth?”
“I- I think so.” I swallowed, my throat dry. Jason was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a liar. If he did something, he owned that shit every time.
“But my mom wouldn’t… she wouldn’t do that.” Hailee folded trembling hands around her waist, as if she was holding herself together. “Not after my dad…”
“Even adults make mistakes, Hailee.”
“And Jason, what did he mean about you choosing me?”
Shit.
Shit!
“I, hmm…” I cleared my throat, trying to dislodge the giant fucking lump stuck there. “Maybe we should talk about this another time…”
“No, I think we should talk about it now.” She glared at me and I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Nothing about this conversation would end well, not after Jase’s revelation. But she was staring at me with those honey-brown eyes of hers, coaxing all my truths out of me, and I knew I had to confess.
“Sixth grade, when you first moved in with Jase and his dad…”
“I remember. I thought you wanted to be friends with me.” Sadness washed over her.
“I did.” My chest tightened. “I liked you. You were a breath of fresh air, always standing up to Jason and refusing to take his shit. I admired you.”
“What changed?” she said coolly, the bite in her voice turning my blood to ice.
“Jason started to get jealous. He never said anything, but I realized the more I talked to you,”—and I’d talked to her a lot—“the more he taunted you. Right before summer, I called him out on it, and he told me I had to choose. Him or you.”
Hurt flashed over her face. “And you chose him.”
“I know it doesn’t make any sense, Hailee, but I didn’t choose him, I chose you. I saw the way Jason looked at you. He hated you. It was messed up, and I didn’t really understand it, but I knew how cruel he could be. I knew he’d never leave you alone if I admitted the truth.”
“The truth?”
“I liked you. Even back then, when I was too young to understand girls or any of that stuff. I knew you were different. You were the first girl I’d ever wanted to be around, to get to know.”
“You made my life miserable that summer.”
“I know.” Guilt knotted my stomach as the memories washed over me.
We’d spent an entire summer taunting her, playing pranks, stealing her stuff, and making her life a misery. It was like Jason was testing me; making me prove my loyalty. And I’d gone along with it because I hoped if I played his games, he’d eventually back off and leave her alone. But he didn’t. And by the time I realized he wasn’t going to; it was too late. A line had been drawn between us. Hailee one side; Jason, me, and Asher the other. As the years went on, I told myself it was for the best, that admitting how I felt about her would only add fuel to the fire. So I stayed away. I played Jase’s games and somewhere along the way, I even grew to enjoy them. Because provoking her, pushing her to retaliate, was my chance to get a rise out of her, to give me attention.
It was the only way I got to keep a piece of Hailee Raine in my life.
“Am I really supposed to believe, that all this time, you went along with his stupid games because you… liked me?” The doubt in Hailee’s eyes was enough to slay me, but I looked her dead in the eye as I nodded.
“It makes no sense—”
“You’re damn right it doesn’t,” she spat. “We’re not kids, Cameron. This isn’t junior high anymore. This is my life. And it’s all been some big game to you. I’ve been a big game—”
/> “What?” Panic clawed up my throat. “It hasn’t… that’s not…”
“I need to go.” She turned on her heel and made a beeline for the door, but I rushed over to her, snagging her wrist. “Wait,” I choked out. “We need to talk about this—”
There was too much left unsaid. Too much I needed to try to explain. But when Hailee met my wild gaze again, I saw the defeat in her eyes.
“You know,” she said softly, her flat tone cracking my chest wide open. “I always knew I was right about you. I can’t trust you.” She shrugged me off and fled the room, taking a piece of my broken, bloodied heart with her.
Earlier had been one of the best moments of my life. It hadn’t felt like a betrayal or a game. It had felt real.
Right.
It had felt like a long fucking time coming.
But now, in the harsh light of day, everything had gone to shit. And I couldn’t help but think, I only had myself to blame.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Hailee
“Hailee, sweetheart, is everything okay?” Mom’s voice drifted through the crack in the door, but I ignored her, the same as I had the previous three times she’d come to check on me.
After overhearing Jason and Cameron’s argument, I’d fled Asher’s house and holed up in my bedroom. Everything I thought I knew was a lie. Mom and Kent hadn’t met after he and Jason’s mom separated, at all. Mom was the other woman. And all this time, Jason knew.
He knew and he’d never breathed a word of it.
It wasn’t any wonder he hated my mom, or me, for that fact. I’d always been so judgmental about him and the Raiders. Scarred by my own experiences of growing up without a father because of football. Gary Broker had been a rising star in the NCAA. He didn’t have time to raise a baby, to play happy families with the girl he accidentally knocked up. He had better things to be doing with his time—the endless cycle of girls and parties and attention—and all I had was a couple of grainy photos of him and not a single good memory. Even after I was born, he still wanted nothing to do with me. There had been a handful of awkward meetings when I was a kid, but those didn’t last past my seventh birthday when he finally grew up and settled down with his other family—the one he actually gave a shit about.
