Rixon Raiders: The Collection

by L A Cotton

  “That feels so good,” I whispered, tilting my head to one side.

  “You feel good.”

  Three little words that took root in my chest and exploded into hopes and dreams and things I knew better than to want with him.

  Oh God. What had I done letting him into my house?

  Into my heart?

  I closed my eyes, trying to rein in the panic swimming in my veins. My mom had always told me to wait, to give myself to the right guy. The guy who would protect my heart, keep it safe, and treat it with respect.

  And here I was, in bed, selling my soul to the devil. Because even though I wanted more, even though I wanted him to say this was the start of something, I knew better.

  Jason Ford was a beautiful disaster waiting to happen.

  And I was right in the eye of the storm.

  My eyes fluttered open, and I stretched, my muscles still drenched in pleasure.

  “Jason?” I smiled around his name. “Did I fall to—”

  Crap.

  I bolted upright, the stream of light like a bucket of icy water. It was morning, which meant—

  “Felicity, baby, are you awake?” Mom’s voice filtered through the door.

  “Jason?” I whisper-hissed, my eyes darting around the room, hoping I might find him hidden in the closet.

  He wasn’t of course.

  There was no sign of him. No puddle of his clothes on my floor and the slightly indented sheets beside me were already cold.

  Jason had left, and it had been awhile.

  “Flick, sweetheart, are you awake?” A knock sounded on the door, before it clicked open and Mom’s head appeared.

  “Hi, Mom.” I gave her a weak smile, pulling the sheet up around my body. “How was date night?”

  “Oh, you know your father, it was all very nice.” Code for they went to their favorite restaurant, ate their favorite meals, and then moved on for dancing at their favorite bar.

  “One of these days, you should surprise him.” The words spilled out.

  “Surprise him?” Her brows pinched. “I’m not sure your father would appreciate that. You know he doesn’t cope well with change.”

  “It was just an idea.” I ducked my head, feeling silly suddenly. I never commented on my parents’ relationship. They were happy, content in their life together. So what if they liked routine?

  “Are you okay?” Mom asked. “You look a little... I don’t know... sad.”

  “I’m fine, Mom, just tired.” I yawned for effect.

  “Are you seeing Hailee today? We miss her.”

  I miss her too. I swallowed the words. We hung out all the time still, ate lunch together at school every day, and did all the things we did pre-Cameron, but she had someone now.

  Someone who wasn’t me.

  “I’m not sure. I think she said something about hanging out with Cameron and Xander.” Cameron’s baby brother was the cutest and he’d taken a real shine to my best friend. But then, who wouldn’t?

  “You could go with them? Just because she has a boyfriend now, doesn’t mean—”

  “Mom,” I sighed. “It isn’t like that. I’m happy for her. She deserves this.”

  “Oh, sweetheart, I didn’t mean... Of course you should be happy for her. I just meant, I remember what it’s like to lose your best friend to a guy.” She gave me a warm smile. “Your day will come, Felicity. High school can be a confusing time. But soon you’ll be in college and I’m sure you’ll meet a nice, intelligent young man who will sweep you off your feet.”

  “Like Dad swept you off your feet?”

  Her eyes lit up. “Exactly. Guys in high school have a lot of growing up to do. Why date a boy when you can wait a few months and date a man; am I right?” She winked playfully.

  “Oh God,” I grumbled, throwing a pillow at her. “Get out of here. It’s too early for this.”

  “Okay.” Her soft laughter washed over me. “But if you hurry, I’m making bacon and eggs.”

  “Sure thing, Mom.”

  She left and I sank back down against the pillows, trying to ignore how much her words affected me.

  Grabbing my cell off the nightstand, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Maybe this was the start of my fairy tale? Maybe this time I would get my prince?

  But when I finally looked at the screen, there was nothing.

  Maybe Jason didn’t want to wake you? I knew better though. Jason had bailed when things got too intense. Yet again, he hadn’t let me touch him. He hadn’t wanted to have sex with me. He hadn’t even bothered waking me to say goodbye. Because he was keeping me at arm’s length. He’d given me so much last night, but he refused to give me the one thing that I really wanted.

  His heart.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jason

  “So what happened?” The first words out of Cameron’s mouth weren’t a surprise. Of course he was going to want to know what happened with Felicity. But what was I supposed to tell him when I still didn’t know what the fuck had happened?

  “So you did go over there?” Asher added, shooting me a sly grin. “I knew the excuse about your old man was a lie.”

  “We talked,” I deadpanned, loading more weights onto the chest press as Cam got into position.

  “Talked.” His brow went up. “You expect us to believe that?”

  Shrugging, I played it cool. They didn’t need to know Felicity and I had shared a moment. Whatever the fuck that meant. Or that I’d held her like she was the most fucking precious thing in the world. Then as soon as she had fallen to sleep, I’d hightailed out of there without so much as a goodbye because I’d panicked. Because for the first time since Aimee, things felt quiet. There was no expectation crushing my chest; no weight of the team, of winning State, there was just me and a girl and silence.

  They didn’t need to know that at all.

  “Believe what you want; it’s the truth. She told me exactly what happened with Thatcher and his goons and then I left.”

  “Right,” Cameron said, leaning down on the bench. “And I’m not head over heels in love with your step-sister.”

  “Really?” It was my turn to raise a brow. “You’re really going to throw that shit in my face?”

  “It’s in your face whether I throw it or not.” He blew out an exasperated breath. “Hailee and I are endgame. The sooner you get on board with that, the easier things will be on all of us.”

  “Endgame. You think you and her are...” Fuck. I couldn’t even say the word. I knew he loved her; knew she felt the same... but endgame?

  From the look of complete seriousness on Cam’s face though, I had underestimated just how deep his feelings ran.

  “I’m following her to college, man. You think I’d be doing that unless I plan on putting a ring on it one day?”

  “Fuck off,” I said. “Now I know you’re yanking my chain because there’s no way in hell you’re seriously suggesting one day you might—”

  “Marry her?” A faint smile tugged at his mouth. “Serious as a heart attack.”

  Asher snorted and I levelled him with a hard look. “Are you hearing this?”

  “Oh I’m hearing it and I can’t say I’m surprised.”

  I groaned, spotting the bar for Cam. “But we’re too young for all that shit. We’ve got our whole lives to settle down.” It wasn’t even on my radar yet.

  Girls were a commodity, something to help me unwind after a tough game or a grueling training session. Besides, I didn’t have time to worry about anyone else; not when I had to prove myself at Penn next year.

  So why did you go over there, jackass? I ignored the little voice rattling round my head. I could be worried about Felicity getting caught in the crossfire without getting attached. It didn’t mean anything, except my heart wasn’t as black as everyone made it out to be. She was Hailee’s best friend, and innocent in all this shit with Thatcher.

  That’s all it was.

  “Hailee grounds me,” my best friend said as if it w
as the simplest thing in the world. “When everything was falling to shit, and stuff with Mom was at its worst, she was there. No questions asked. Not because I wear a Raiders jersey or because she sees me as a meal ticket.” He flopped back on the bench, heaving a deep breath. “I’m lucky to have her.”

  Yeah, until she grew bitter and began to resent his ass for the commitment and dedication required to make something of yourself in one of the country’s top college football teams. High school football stars might have been treated like gods amongst men, but college was a whole other level of worship. Especially if you made waves, which I fully intended on doing. Penn hadn’t asked me to commit early because they thought I’d be a valuable asset to their team—they thought I had potential to be the asset.

  Even if I wanted someone by my side through it all—and I didn’t—there wasn’t enough to go around. I couldn’t be committed one hundred percent to the game and committed to some girl. Being the best required sacrifice, one I was all too willing to make.

  “It’s not for me,” I said with conviction.

  “No one would put up with your brooding ass anyway.” Asher grunted as he worked the free weights.

  It was a joke.

  He was joking.

  Yet, it didn’t stop the strange tug in my chest.

  “Seniors Night next week. You ready, man?” he asked changing the subject.

  “Figured I’d wing it.” I shrugged, folding my arms over my chest.

  “Coach will be pissed you haven’t got some motivational speech prepared.”

  “Coach can suck it.”

  “Try saying that to his face.” Asher smirked, his expression sobering with his next words. “You know it’s funny, I’ve waited my entire life for this. State. College. But now it’s almost here all I can think is I’m not ready to say goodbye.”

  “Nawww, you gonna miss us, Bennet?” I mocked.

  “We can’t all be untouchable like you, Jase. Yeah, I’ll miss you guys. You’re my best friends. Starting college, having to prove yourself all over again… I’m not going to lie, it freaks me the hell out.”

  His words sank into me. I’d never really given it much thought. Not when I’d had my eyes set on playing for the Penn Quakers for pretty much my entire life. It was in my blood; my legacy. My old man had the perfect career there until an injury ripped the dream out from under him. And when I came along, his dream became my dream. I’d been working toward taking Penn by storm for as long as I could remember. Now it was almost time. So while I loved my friends like brothers, I wasn’t worried about going off to college next fall. Because I’d been counting down the days since my old man gave me my first football.

  And it was almost time for my dreams to become a reality.

  “So you and Felicity, huh?” Hailee breezed into the kitchen.

  “Excuse me?” I played it cool, leaning back on the counter, draining the rest of my protein shake.

  “She said you had a good talk Saturday night?” She gave me a suspicious look.

  “We talked, yeah. I wouldn’t say it was good.”

  “So nothing happened?”

  “Why?” My brows furrowed, “did she say it did?”

  “Nope.”

  “Well then, nothing happened.”

  “Jason, don’t do that. Don’t deflect. I told you not to—”

  Pushing off the counter, I brushed past her. “You don’t need to worry, little sis, me and Felicity are just friends.”

  “Friends?” She snorted. “You really expect me to believe that you and... you’re up to something.”

  Letting out a frustrated breath, I spun around, meeting Hailee’s narrowed gaze. “What the fuck do you want from me? I overlooked the fact you and Cameron—”

  “Oh, for Christ’s sake, we love each other, we’re in love. Trust me, it would be a damn sight easier if I didn’t love your best friend. But I do. And I won’t apologize for that. If only you’d drop this macho don’t-care-about-anyone bullshit maybe you’d understand. Or even let someone—”

  “Careful, Hails, you’re starting to sound like a romantic, and I know you know better than to think life is one big ole fairy tale and everyone gets their happily-ever-after.”

  “Agh,” she threw up her hands, “You’re so frustrating. I give up.” Hailee stomped out of the room and I couldn’t help but smirk. Getting under my step-sister’s skin had once been one of my favorite pastimes, but now I saw it for what it was; juvenile sibling rivalry that had crossed a line.

  I downed the rest of my shake and grabbed my keys.

  “Jason,” Denise’s voice grated across my skin like nails on a chalkboard. “I was hoping to catch you before you left.”

  “I need to go, or I’ll be—”

  “This won’t take a minute.” She gave me a strained smile. “It’s Hailee, she still won’t talk to me.”

  “Not my problem.”

  “I know the two of you still don’t see eye to eye, but I thought... well, I thought after everything, you might talk to her for me?”

  “You want me to talk to Hailee about how you what? Ruined my family? Lied to her all this time? Stood by and did nothing while we terrorized each other? Tell me, Denise, what exactly should I talk to her about?”

  Shame burned her cheeks as she spluttered, desperately trying to take control back of the conversation. I might have tolerated Hailee now because of Cameron and our shared hatred for our parent’s deceit, but I didn’t owe Denise anything. She represented everything I despised.

  “Jason,” she sniffled barely holding back the tears, “that’s not fair. Me and your father never meant to hurt anyone.”

  “That’s just it though, Denise, isn’t it? No one is ever supposed to get hurt but they always do.” The words hit me square in the chest.

  It was the truth. People always found a way to hurt one another. Screw each other over in the name of love… greed… jealousy.

  “I can see this was a bad idea; forget I said anything.” She hurried out of the kitchen, her sobs punctuating the tension.

  I probably should have felt even an ounce of guilt at making my stepmom cry, but the truth of it was, adults were supposed to set the standards. To teach their kids respect and integrity. My old man might have taught me how to throw a perfect pass, but he failed miserably when it came to teaching me how to be a stand-up guy. Even after losing his shot at going pro, after meeting Mom and settling down, he couldn’t give up his football-star life. He and Mom spent years pretending, years of playing their roles as doting father and mother, husband and wife. When really it was all a sham. Mom stayed with him out of obligation, while he clung onto a dream that would never be his, finding solace at the bottom of a bottle or a stranger’s bed. I never wanted to treat someone the way Dad treated Mom. Someone he was supposed to care about, to love. Which is why I planned on never settling down. I’d seen enough news articles on football players and the impact of the game on their personal lives and relationships to know that it wasn’t worth the headache or heartache.

  It wasn’t worth it.

  But football, the game, that was worth it.

  It was all I needed.

  By the time I arrived at school, first class was already in session. Not that it mattered I was late. Teachers regularly turned a blind eye to my tardiness or absence. Instead of sneaking into AP Math, I decided to hit the gym. After my run in with Hailee and then Denise, I needed to burn off some extra steam, and practice wasn’t until after school.

  But even after a good work out, I was still restless. It coursed through my veins, making it hard to focus. Usually, I’d text Jenna or one of the other gymnasts or cheerleaders to see if they wanted to help me relax, but the only person I wanted to text was the one person I shouldn’t.

  I’d snuck out of Felicity’s room yesterday morning for a reason. To avoid any awkward conversations, where she got the wrong idea, and I had to dig my way out of the hole I’d gotten myself into in the first place. But my dick seemingly di
dn’t appreciate not getting his because before I knew it, he had me pulling out my cell phone and texting her.

  Me: Where ru?

  Felicity: You are alive then? I thought maybe you’d been abducted by aliens…

  Me: I didn’t want to get you into trouble with your parents.

  Felicity: That almost sounds sweet... if it were true.

  Me: It could be true.

  It wasn’t, but I wasn’t about to tell her that.

  Felicity: But we both know it isn’t. What do you want, Jason? I’m in class...

  I smirked at her reply. Even via text conversation I could imagine her sassing me; hand on one hip, eyes wide and simmering with indignation. Her mouth all pouty and begging for attention.

  Fuck.

  This had shitstorm written all over it; yet, I couldn’t seem to stop myself. I was so used to girls doing whatever I asked, jumping at a chance to be with me, that Felicity’s banter was refreshing. So much so, I wanted more. Craved it like an addict craved their next hit. Because while I didn’t need a distraction from football, maybe a distraction from all the other bullshit around me was exactly what I needed.

  Me: Meet me after class.

  Felicity: I can’t. I have this thing called class; you should look it up sometime.

  Me: Skip. I bet it’s on your list...

  The three little dots indicated she was replying, but time passed and still nothing. I’d been joking about the list thing but figured I’d hit the jackpot.

  Me: I’m right aren’t I? It’s totally on your list.

  Felicity: I’ve cut class before.

  Me: And I’m a virgin. Come on, skip class and check another thing off your list... I’ll make it worth your while.

  Felicity: You really shouldn’t make promises you have no intention of keeping!

  Me: Maybe this is one promise I want to keep?

  I was pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to feel so smug about luring her in, but I couldn’t deny it left me feeling all kinds of awesome.

  When she didn’t reply, I typed another text.