Rixon Raiders: The Collection

by L A Cotton

  “Mya, calm down.”

  I. Lost. It.

  “Don’t tell me to calm down. My ex-boyfriend came here and threatened my boyfriend and his family with a gun. A gun, Miss Hampstead. Mrs. Bennet was shot and everything is falling apart around me and I don’t know how the hell I’m supposed to deal with that.” My chest heaved as I purged all the frustration and anger and fear and heartache.

  Asher didn’t need to tell me what, deep down, I already knew.

  Regardless of what happened to his mom, we were over.

  There would always be a part of him that would blame me, just like there would always be a part of myself that blamed me. We couldn’t move on from that. Even if we did work through it and find our way back to one another, it would always be there. Festering in the background like a wound that refused to heal. Spreading bigger over time. Its poison slowly bleeding into everything around it.

  “Here.” She pushed the tissue box toward me. “Feel better?”

  “A little, I guess.” I gave her a half-hearted shrug, surprised at how much lighter my chest felt.

  “You need to talk, Mya. If not to me, then a friend or your aunt. You’ve been through a lot, and it isn’t over yet.”

  “I know.”

  The police would want me to testify against Jermaine. I was a crucial witness. But testifying against him could make me a target again. Especially if the police used his gang affiliations to build their case.

  “My door is always open, whatever you decide. And try to remember that when people judge you, Mya, it says more about their character than yours.”

  “Is that your way of saying we’re done?” I managed a tentative smile, and Miss Hampstead chuckled.

  “I have a feeling we’ve dug deep enough today. I know this is hard and things feel like they’ll never fix themselves right now, but you will get through this.”

  “Thanks.” Grabbing my bag, I stood up and steeled myself for class. Because something told me if I wanted to survive the next few weeks at school, I was going to need all the strength I could get.

  “Hey, Mya,” Cameron jogged up beside me as I was heading out of school. It had been a relief when the final bell rang and I could escape the constant whispers and stares.

  “Hey.” This wasn’t awkward, at all.

  “Can we talk?” he asked.

  “I was going to walk home but I wouldn’t say no to a ride.” It was cold out and thanks to a diet of saltine crackers and milk, my energy levels were low.

  “Come on.” Cameron smiled, leading the way to his car. “Ladies first.” The passenger door swung open and he motioned for me to get in.

  “I can see why Hailee loves you.”

  “I try.” He chuckled, moving around to the driver’s side. “How are you holding up?” Cameron asked as he drove out of the parking lot.

  “I’m not going to lie; it’s been a tough few days.”

  “You know, I talked to him, tried to make him see this is not your fault.”

  “You didn’t need to do that.” My voice quivered but I forced down the tears. I’d cried enough.

  “Yeah, I did. Asher needs you, Mya. More than he knows right now. Something’s different with him this semester. He’s... distant and closed off and I sense this building tension between him and his dad. At first, I thought it was just about you. But then he told us he wasn’t going to commit to the Panthers and something didn’t fit. Jason’s right, football was always the dream. Maybe me and Ash don’t stand a chance of going pro like Jase but it’s still in our blood.”

  “Why are you telling me all this, Cameron?”

  “Because I know he’s pushing you away and I know you’re probably going to let him. And I get it, I do. But what the two of you have, it deserves to be fought for.”

  “I can’t be the only one fighting though.” My head dropped back against the seat, a harsh breath leaving my lips. “You know everyone told me he’d hurt me. My aunt, my friends back home, even Miss Hampstead warned me about getting involved with a Raider.”

  “You’re talking like you’ve already given up.” His heavy gaze burned into the side of my face but I didn’t look at him.

  I couldn’t.

  “He won’t even reply to my texts, what would you have me do?”

  “Actions speak louder than words, Mya. He’s in a bad place, and I’m worried if someone doesn’t pull him out soon, we’ll lose him.”

  His words were like a knife to the heart. I’d walked away once from a boy I loved to save myself, but could I do it again?

  Asher wasn’t Jermaine. He would never readily hurt me, but the universe was cruel and unforgiving, and here we were, facing the ultimate test.

  A test I wasn’t sure I’d survive.

  But if it meant saving Asher...

  “I’ll think about it,” I said, before I could take back the words.

  “That’s all I ask.” Cameron gave me a gentle nod. “That’s all any of us can ask.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Asher

  “Another, J,” I slammed down the empty glass and flicked it toward him.

  “You’re done, Son. I already let you have more than I shoulda.”

  “Come on, Jerry. You know what happened. You know my mom is... fuck.” I jammed my fingers in my hair, pulling the ends in frustration, the bite of pain a welcomed reprieve from the constant numbness in my chest.

  “I’m real sorry, kid, but you won’t be getting anymore liquor from me. You should go home, Son, get a cold shower and—”

  “You know what, J, go fuck yourself.” I pushed back the stool and stood up, swaying as the motion hit me.

  “Whoa there.” Jase grabbed my arm steadying me. “Everything okay here?” He eyed me and then glanced over at Jerry.

  “Make sure he gets home, okay?”

  “Will do.” Sliding his arm around my waist, Jason started dragging me toward the door, but I paused at the last second, looking over my shoulder. The whole room was spinning, but I could see Jerry. Two Jerry’s in fact. “I’m sorry,” I yelled, “about before.”

  He waved me off as if it was nothing. But it wasn’t.

  It was something.

  It was the darkness gnawing at my soul. The growing pit in my stomach with every day that passed and Mom didn’t wake up.

  “Come on, man, I got you.” Jason helped me out of the bar and into his car. I landed with a thud, my head rolling against the leather seat.

  “You didn’t call,” he said when he climbed in. He and Cameron had been around as much as they could, but they had lives too. School and girlfriends and their own families to worry about. Besides, I knew I was shitty company, slipping further and further into the black hole trying so desperately to swallow me up.

  “I just needed some space, ya know?”

  “I’m taking you home.”

  “No, no.” My voice cracked. “Anywhere but there, please. I can’t stand it there.”

  He let out a heavy sigh, raking a hand down his face. “We could go to mine, but Denise has some friends over while Dad is out of town.”

  “Just take me anywhere. I don’t care.” I let my head rest on the window and closed my eyes. Alcohol had seemed like a good idea when I’d turned up at Bell’s almost two hours ago. But as the buzz slowly wore off, everything seemed to multiply. It was too much for one brain to handle and I wanted to tear my skin off just so I could breathe.

  “I’m losing it,” I murmured, squeezing my eyes so tight the skin around my face pinched.

  “You’re not losing it. You’re under an immense amount of stress.”

  “I keep dreaming she’s gone. I wake up and go into her room only to find the bed freshly made and all the cards gone.”

  “She’s not gone, Asher. And you’re not going to lose her. Your mom will pull through this, I truly believe that.”

  We drove in silence after that. I knew Jason probably had heaps of other things he wanted to say but I wasn’t exactly in a receptive mood.<
br />
  When we pulled up to Felicity’s house, I finally broke the silence. “What the fuck is this?”

  “This is my girlfriend’s house,” he deadpanned.

  “I can see that, but what the fuck are we doing here?”

  “You didn’t want to go home, and we couldn’t go hang out with Denise and her friends, so I brought you to option C.”

  “I can’t go in there.” I shook my head.

  “Chill. Her parents are out and she’s home alone studying.”

  “You’re sure about that?” I couldn’t ask him the words on the tip of my tongue. But he knew.

  Of course he fucking knew.

  “She’s not here, you have nothing to worry about.”

  My eyes slid to the house again. Part of me hated that I felt relieved Mya wasn’t here, but I couldn’t deal with her. Not yet.

  “Is there liquor?” I asked, already feeling the numbing effects of the liquor wearing off.

  “Her dad might have a beer or two in the refrigerator, but I think you’ve had enough.”

  “I’ll have had enough when I pass out and forget the shitshow that is my life.”

  He rolled his eyes, shouldering the car door and climbing out. I didn’t really want to see Felicity. But it was better than sitting at home, listening to the chime of the clock, the whir of refrigerator. Listening to every-fucking-thing that wasn’t the phone ringing with news of Mom.

  Cussing under my breath, I got out of the Dodge Charger and followed Jase up the Giles’ driveway. He knocked and seconds later, the door swung open.

  “You look like shit,” she said to me, the pity in her eyes too much to bear.

  “Hello to you too,” I replied, suddenly a lot less drunk than I was two minutes ago.

  “Well, don’t stand out here all night. The neighbors will talk.” She beckoned me inside. Jason stood back, leaning against the wall. No doubt watching with amusement as Flick treated me like a naughty schoolboy.

  The second I stepped inside, she pulled me into her arms, hugging me. “You’re okay,” she whispered. “You’re going to be okay.” I let myself take her offer of comfort. It was stupid but I needed a woman’s touch.

  I needed my mom.

  Bile rushed up my throat, but I swallowed it down. “Thank you,” I managed to croak out, finally untangling myself from Felicity’s arms.

  “I would have come to the hospital again, but Jason said…”

  “Yeah, sorry about that. I just… it’s hard.”

  “I know.” She gave me a sad smile. “But if you ever need me, all you have to do is call.”

  “I think Jase might have something to say about that.” The corner of my mouth tipped. It was the first joke I’d cracked in days.

  “Nah, man.” Jase shut the door and came around to stand beside Flick. “We’re here for you, whatever you need.”

  “Does your dad have any whisky?” I asked Felicity. “I could really use whisky right about now.”

  “Asher, that isn’t going to help.” She frowned. “But I have some homemade cookies.”

  My stomach rumbled. “The ones with the chocolate chips?”

  “Come on, let’s see what I can find.”

  Jase came over and slung his arm around my shoulder. “Everything is going to be okay, Ash,” he said as if he truly believed the words.

  I only wished I could believe them too.

  “Where have you been?” I growled at my father as he entered Mom’s room. It felt more familiar than our house lately, but then I had spent every waking minute here. Until the nurses began insisting I left to shower and eat and do all the things I needed to do to take care of myself. But I didn’t care about myself.

  I cared about the woman sleeping in the bed. Except, she wasn’t sleeping, not really.

  Dad fussed with his tie and I knew exactly where he’d been. “Work,” I snapped. “You’ve been working.”

  “Watch your tone, Son,” he said. “Business doesn’t just stop because…” His eyes flicked to Mom, the blood draining from his face. “How is she?”

  Surprised at his reluctance to argue with me, I replied, “The same. The doctors said they’re thinking of waking her soon but it’s still too early to know what sustained damage there is.”

  “You spoke with the doctors?” It was his turn to look surprised.

  “Well they couldn’t speak with you since you weren’t here.”

  “Asher, please.” He walked around the bed and leaned down to press a kiss to Mom’s head. It was funny, watching him treat her as something fragile and precious. Dropping into the chair opposite me, he clutched Mom’s hand in his. “It’s this place… I can’t…”

  “I know.” But whereas Dad chose to run, I chose to stay.

  I would always stay.

  It’s what made us so different.

  “How do you do it? Sit here, day in, day out, watching her as if she might wake up at any second, knowing she won’t?”

  “She gave up everything for me,” I bit out. “It’s the least I can do for her.”

  “Son, I want you to know—”

  The door creaked open and both our heads snapped up to see who was entering.

  “Mya,” her name fell from my lips in a whoosh of air.

  “You.” Dad shot out of his chair. “You have no right to be here,” he yelled.

  Mya’s eyes went wide, darting between us. “I- I should go. This was a mistake.”

  “You’re damn right it was; you’ve caused enough pain already,” my father seethed at her, spittle flying from his mouth. But he didn’t approach her. Thank fuck, he didn’t approach her. I couldn’t bear the thought of him laying one hand on her.

  Inhaling a shaky breath, I moved around the bed, putting myself between him and Mya. “Give me a minute, Dad,” I said, keeping my eyes locked on her. She slipped out of the room, and I followed, ignoring Dad’s grumbles of disapproval.

  Mya didn’t wait. She kept walking, hurrying down the hall.

  “Wait.” I grasped her arm, pulling her around. “What are you doing here?”

  “I came…” Her voice wavered, unshed tears glistening in her eyes. “For you, Asher. You won’t return my calls or texts. I haven’t seen you in days. I just needed to know you were okay.”

  “You can’t be here,” I said, still stunned she was even here after the way I’d dismissed her before. I’d ignored her for the best part of two weeks. Yet, she was here. Standing in front of me, silently begging me to let her in.

  Fuck.

  I fisted my thigh.

  She smothered a sob, turning from me to walk away, but I grabbed her arm again, pulling her to the side. “I didn’t mean…” Shit, what did I mean?

  “I just had to know the truth.” Mya’s expression was crestfallen.

  “The truth? I don’t understand.”

  “I just needed to look you in the eye and see it.” Silent tears ran down her cheeks now, gutting me in a way I hadn’t been prepared for. “You used to look at me with such adoration. But now you look at me like you can’t stand to be around me… like you blame me. And I get it, I do. There is nothing more I wish than to take your mom’s place. But I can’t change what happened. I can’t do anything. So instead of sitting at my aunt’s, driving myself crazy with worry over you, I had to come and see for myself.”

  “Mya, that’s not fair—”

  “None of this is fair.” She gave a small shrug. “I’m going to testify, Asher. I want you to know I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you and your family get justice for what happened. But I’m not going to cling onto the hope that things between us will ever heal. I can’t.”

  I dragged a hand down my face, trying to process everything she was saying. “You’re breaking up with me?” Disbelief coated my words.

  “You can’t break up with someone you already lost, and I lost you the second that gun went off.” Pain flashed in her eyes and I wanted to do something—anything—to take it away. But it was like my head
and heart were at war. My heart knew how special she was, how much we needed her. But my head; my stupid, foolhardy head, looked at Mya and saw Jermaine. Jermaine holding a gun up at my parents, at me. Saw my mom bleeding out, cradled in my dad’s arms.

  It was like no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t separate the two.

  “I was going to do it, you know? I was going to accept a place at Cleveland. I want you to know that, Asher. I want you to know I was going to choose you.” Mya pushed damp curls from her eyes and sucked in a harsh breath. “I really hope your mom makes a full recovery. Goodbye, Asher.”

  I should have gone after her. I should have told her that we could figure things out, that I just needed time to get my head around everything that had happened.

  But I didn’t.

  I took the coward’s way out.

  I stood there as Mya walked away from me for the last time, my heart breaking all over again.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Mya

  “Oh my god, did you hear? Asher’s mom finally woke up.” Kellie Ginly locked eyes on me as I tried to give her and her friends a wide berth, her mouth curving deviously. “He called to tell me last night.”

  I faltered for a second. He’d called her? But I quickly pushed aside the hurt. It wasn’t the important titbit of information I’d overheard. Mrs. Bennet was awake and that was all that mattered.

  “That’s amazing, I bet he’s so relieved.” Her friends quickly burst into questions.

  How is he?

  What is the long-term damage?

  Is he coming back to school soon?

  I hitched my backpack up my shoulder and carried on down the hall. Three weeks had passed since that day in the hospital when Asher let me walk away. I hadn’t gone with the intention of ending things between us, but the second Mr. Bennet saw me standing there, I knew I had to let Asher go. I’d already caused enough pain and heartache for his family without making things worse.

  The closure had been a good thing. News spread quickly that I was no longer Asher’s girl and within a few days people’s interest in me simmered. There were still the whispers and stares, but it was nothing I wasn’t used to. I filled my days with class and my new part-time job stacking shelves at the Seven-Eleven where my aunt worked. Felicity and Hailee remained loyal in their friendship, but it wasn’t the same now me and Asher were no longer together.