by L A Cotton
To the outside world, I had moved on. But I didn’t anticipate getting over him anytime soon. Asher Bennet had imprinted himself on my soul in a way that I wasn’t sure I’d ever recover from. To deal, I kept my head down and my focus on college. I’d decided to accept an offer from Temple University to study social work. If growing up in Fallowfield Heights had taught me anything, it was that more help was needed in communities where young men and women felt they had no choice but to turn to gangs, drugs, and a life of crime. It felt like coming full circle somehow, and I was counting down the days until graduation.
“There you are.” Felicity found me by my locker. “I’ve been texting you.”
“I think my cell is on silent.”
She rolled her eyes. It was a common occurrence these days. “Asher called Jason earlier, his mom is—”
“Awake, I know.”
Flick’s brow pinched. “You do? Did he—”
“I overheard Kellie Ginly telling her friends.”
“Kellie… but how would she know?”
I shrugged, trading out some books. “Apparently Asher called her last night.”
“But that doesn’t make any sense. He doesn’t—”
The reverberation of my locker slamming shut cut her off. “I don’t want to talk about him.”
“But—”
“Felicity, you promised.”
“I know, I know, it’s just, she’s awake. This is a good thing.” She looked so hopeful. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that some things couldn’t be fixed. That just because Mrs. Bennet was awake didn’t mean me and Asher were going to find our way back together.
“You’re right, it is great news. I’m happy for them.” Shoving the books into my backpack, I shouldered it and took off down the hall.
“That’s it?” Flick hurried after me. “That’s all you have to say?”
“What else is there to say?”
“I don’t know. I guess I just thought…”
“Life isn’t a fairytale, Felicity. Not all stories get a happy ending.”
“But…”
I let out an exasperated breath and levelled her with a hard look. “You’re my best friend and I couldn’t have gotten through these last few weeks without you, but you need to let this go. I’ve accepted it’s over between me and Asher. You should too.”
I’d just walked through the door after a long shift at the store, when my cell phone blared to life.
“Hey, Shona,” I said, kicking off my shoes and letting the cool tiles soothe my burning soles.
“Hey, girl. How’s it goin’?”
“It’s… going. How are you? How are things back home?” After Jermaine had forced her to give up my location, Shona had felt responsible for everything that had gone down. But I didn’t blame her. I’d asked her to keep it a secret; I’d burdened her with that.
Me.
“Diaz is actin’ like it’s all business as usual, but since Jermaine’s arrest, things feel… different.”
“Keep safe, yeah?” I said.
“I will. Jesse and Leroy watch me like a hawk.”
“Leroy, huh? You got your way then?” I smirked.
“He gave in eventually.” She chuckled. “Jesse gave him a black eye for it though.”
“I’m glad you have him to look out for you.”
“Any developments with JT?”
“It’s done.” The words punched my chest. “But I found out his mom finally woke up.”
“That’s good news, right?”
“Yeah.” I couldn’t keep the pain out of my voice.
“Hey, it’s almost spring break. We should totally hit the city. Girls’ trip. It’s only weeks until graduation and then college will be calling your name and I’ll never see you.”
“Shona…”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. We can’t all be brains like you. But I’m proud of you, Mya. I’m so fucking proud you got out and made a life for yourself, even if you do live in some hick town in the ass crack of nowhere.” Her laughter soothed the ache in my chest. “I know things suck right now but soon this will all be behind you.”
“I know.” But the idea of leaving Rixon, of leaving my aunt, and the place I’d come to call home, didn’t fill me with joy. Because Asher is here, a little voice whispered. But come the summer he wouldn’t be here. He’d be in Pittsburgh, moving on with his life.
Moving on from me.
“Listen, Shon, I need to go start dinner. But I’ll call you soon.”
“You’d better,” she warned. “Laters.”
Pocketing my cell, I got up to go into the kitchen, but a knock at the door made me pause. Traipsing back into the hall, I checked the peephole before opening the door. “This is a surprise,” I said to Felicity who stood on my aunt’s porch.
“We’re going out.”
“We are?” My brows knitted together.
“Yep. I miss hanging out with you. I know things are awkward, but you’re still one of my best friends, so get ready and let’s go.”
“Flick, I’m not sure…” We hadn’t been out since the Ice-Ts incident.
“Ten minutes. You have ten minutes and then we have to get Hailee.”
“Where are we going?”
“Worry less about that and more about what you’re going to wear.” She frowned at my work uniform. “Is that tuna fish I smell?”
I sniffed myself and realized she was right, I stank. It must have been when I’d cleaned up a spillage in aisle three. “I’ll need to take a quick shower,” I said.
“The clock’s ticking.” Mischief twinkled in her eyes.
“This is just like old times,” I said, half-mockingly. When I’d first arrived in Rixon and she’d taken me under her wing, we’d gotten into all kinds of trouble together. It felt comforting to know that after everything, she was still here.
“Eight-and-a-half minutes,” she grumbled. “Let’s go, Hernandez.”
But as she started marching me up the stairs, I was sucker punched by her words.
Hernandez.
No one ever called me that.
No one except Asher.
Bell’s was crammed. I couldn’t believe I’d let Felicity talk me into coming here. But I couldn’t deny there was a part of me that wanted to see Asher. To witness his easy smile once more, and to know he was okay.
That’s all I’d ever wanted.
“Breathe,” Flick whispered to me as we moved deeper into the bar. The whole team was here with their friends and girlfriends. I spotted Kellie and the gymnasts straightaway, and the cheerleaders holding court the other side of the room. It looked like the entire senior class had come out to celebrate the Bennets’ good news, and my heart swelled for Asher.
“Look, Cam saved us a seat.” Hailee pointed to a booth away from the football team.
“I hope you’re going to marry him one day,” I said, hardly surprised that he would do such a nice thing for me.
Felicity offered to go and get our drinks while we weaved through the huddles of people to reach Cameron.
He stood up, letting Hailee slide in. I took the other side.
“Thanks for this,” I said, drumming my fingers against the table.
“It’s the least I could do. I’m glad you came.” His eyes slid from me to Hailee. “I’m going to go hang out with the guys, but I’ll come check on you later, okay?”
She nodded, leaning in to kiss him. My heart ached watching them. But if two people deserved happiness it was the two of them.
“This is silly,” I said when he’d gone. “You don’t have to sit over here with me. I’ll go and you can—”
“If you think we’re going to abandon you, you really don’t know us at all,” Hailee replied around a small smile. Flick appeared seconds later, sliding a tray of drinks onto the table. “We’re celebrating. My treat.” She handed me a bright pink cocktail.
“What is it?” I sniffed the contents.
“Happiness and sunshine in a glass. Drink
up.”
“Isn’t Jerry going to get into trouble for serving everyone?”
“Asher’s mom is awake; it’s a private celebration.” She winked at me, slurping at her own drink.
“Have you seen—”
The words died on my tongue as Asher filled my line of sight. He was joking with a couple of his teammates, his hair pushed back in that messy style of his, his smile easy and eyes bright.
I swallowed, feeling tears pool behind my eyes. “He looks happy,” I whispered. Just then, Kellie Ginly sauntered over to him and hugged him, making a show of kissing him on the cheek.
“It doesn’t mean anything,” Felicity said under her breath, a hint of disapproval there.
“It doesn’t matter. He’s a free agent.”
“Mya, you don’t mean that.”
“So, do you have any plans for spring break?” I changed the subject, forcing myself to look away from Asher and Kellie. He wasn’t mine anymore. He could hug and kiss whoever he wanted. It was something I was just going to have to get used to.
“I think Cameron and Jason want to take Asher away for a few days; maybe to his Dad’s place in the Hamptons.”
It was like I couldn’t escape him.
But slowly, I was becoming okay. I glanced back and found Asher watching me. Our eyes locked, so much passing between us. My pulse spiked. His mouth curved into a smile and he gave me a little nod before turning away.
I smiled to myself. Things between us would never be the same, but maybe, just maybe, we could find peace after everything.
“Come dance with us,” Felicity pouted, her eyes glassy with the effects of all the sugary sweet cocktails she’d consumed since we arrived at Asher’s house.
I hadn’t wanted to come when they’d announced the party was moving to the Bennets’. It didn’t feel right. But the need to be in close proximity to Asher, to see him happy, was too much of a temptation, plus, she wouldn’t take no for an answer and no one else seemed to care whether I was there or not. People were too happy and relieved to have their loveable funny party host back. And Asher played up to the role flawlessly. But I couldn’t help but wonder how much was real or whether he felt forced to oblige them. It wasn’t my place to ask him though, and despite caving to Felicity and Hailee’s insistence I come with them to the party, I kept my distance.
“I owe you an apology,” Jason came up beside me as I watched the girls twirl and dance without a care in the world.
“I’m listening,” I said, running my thumb around the rim of my cup. It had been tempting to get drunk and join the celebrations, but I didn’t want to lose control, not surrounded by Asher and his adoring fans.
Especially not with Kellie Ginly throwing me icy stares like we were mortal enemies.
“Asher is like family and you’re—”
“Not?” My brow rose.
“I’m sorry, okay. I shouldn’t have treated you like you had a hand in all of this. Because for the record, I know you didn’t. What happened, that’s all on your piece of shit ex. Me and you, we’re good.”
“As far as apologies go that sucked.” I smirked. “But I’ll take it.”
He barked a laugh, shaking his head with disbelief. “I’m glad you’re here, Mya. We all are.” Jason gave me a look I didn’t quite understand before he stalked over to Felicity, hooking his arm around her waist. The two of them started dancing as if they were the only two in the room, and I had to turn away, their love too much to bear.
“I’m surprised to see you here,” another voice said, this time one I never wanted to hear again.
“It’s a party.”
“Yeah, at your ex’s house. I mean how pathetic do you have to be?” Kellie Ginly glowered at me, flicking her hair off her shoulder. She looked cute in a skintight knitted dress that scooped low in the front and landed just below her knee. It was demure but sexy and even I couldn’t deny she looked killer.
She looked like a girl out to impress.
My stomach knotted.
“What do you want from me, Kellie? In case you didn’t get the 4-1-1, me and Asher are over. I’m only here to celebrate, just like everyone else.” I moved around her to leave, before I said or did something I would regret. But she caught my wrist, demanding my attention. “You should do Asher a favor and just leave. He doesn’t need you anymore, not now that he has me.”
My eyes widened, just for a second, before I schooled my expression. But she saw it and she was about to go for the jugular. “Oh, you didn’t know? I’ve been helping him through this difficult time. Even spent some time with him and his dad. Andrew is such a lovely man. Good taste too.” She smiled but it looked more like a snarl. “He’s so relieved Asher decided to get rid of the trash.”
“What the fuck did you just call me?” I stepped into her space, all rational thought flying out of my head.
“You heard me, Latina. Trash.”
Clenching my fists at my side, it took everything in me to walk away when all I wanted to do was hit her right in her pretty, perfect face.
“That’s right,” she called after me. “Run back to whatever ghetto you came from.”
I hurried through the Bennets’ house, desperate to get away from Kellie and her poisonous words. I needed air. I needed to—
“Mya?” I collided with a wall of solid muscle, and Asher’s hands steadied me. “What happened?” His jaw clenched.
“I’m fine, I just need... air, I need air. I have to go but I’m so happy your mom is awake. It’s great news.” The words spilled from my lips as I tried to gently shuck him off my arms. I couldn’t stand him touching me, holding me with concern in his eyes.
We weren’t those people to each other anymore.
Spinning on my heel, I took off again, pushing and jostling bodies out of the way.
“Mya, wait,” Asher called, making me move faster. I couldn’t do this with him. Not here, not now.
I never should have come here. I knew that now. There would always be people like Kellie Ginly waiting to strike, to act like their white privilege made them better than me. More worthy.
More suited to be by Asher’s side, living in his world.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Asher
“Mya, wait a second, please,” I said, snagging her wrist. My touch stopped her dead, her gaze going straight to where our skin met. Heat flowed between us and I wanted nothing more than to pull her into my arms and hold her. To feel her body pressed against mine.
But I’d lost that right, and it hurt something fierce.
She turned slowly, letting her eyes drift to mine. “Please, let me go,” it came out a strained whisper, as if saying the words caused her physical pain.
Immediately releasing her, I stepped back, raking a hand through my hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t… You came.”
“You know how persistent Felicity can be.” She gave me a weak smile. “I’m so happy for you, Asher, and your mom.”
“Thanks.” The air cooled between us, the fleeting moment when I’d grabbed her wrist long gone. “She has a long road to recovery, but the doctors are pleased with her progress so far.”
I couldn’t even begin to describe the sense of relief that had hit me when Mom’s eyes finally flickered open; how good it had felt to feel her fingers squeeze mine. She’d been disorientated and groggy and was barely able to string a syllable together, but she was awake.
It was like all my prayers had been answered.
All but one.
Dad was the biggest surprise of all though. He’d burst into tears, collapsing at the side of the bed when he had entered the room and seen her. In all my eighteen years on the planet, I don’t think I’d ever seen him cry or show an ounce of emotion toward us. His sudden change of heart didn’t erase the past, but it gave me a smidgen of hope, that maybe, just maybe, they could figure their shit out. That almost losing Mom would make him realize that he needed to atone for the sins of his past. Even if we never found solid ground again, I woul
d breathe easier knowing Mom was happy and healthy and cared for.
“I’m so happy for you.” Mya smiled again, a real honest-to-God smile. One that wasn’t tainted by all the pain and heartache between us. It meant a lot.
It meant every-fucking-thing that she was here.
That even after the way I’d treated her, how my father had treated her, and Kellie and Vaughn, and the kids at school; she still cared enough to come and celebrate our good news.
But her smile quickly faded as something caught her eye behind me. I glanced back, narrowing my gaze as Kellie hovered nearby, watching us like a hawk. “What is she—”
“I should go,” Mya rushed out. “Send my love to your mom.” She spun around and took off down the hall toward the front door.
Kellie’s eyes burned holes into the back of my head as I tried to piece together what the fuck had just happened. Mya was running, but I wasn’t sure she was running from me. And if she wasn’t running from me…
Marching up to Kellie, I said, “Did something happen with you and Mya?”
“I’m surprised she was here in the first place.” Kellie twirled a strand of hair around her finger, a flash of contempt crossing her expression. “I mean, doesn’t she realize how sad it makes her look? Not to mention desperate.”
“Excuse me?” My jaw clenched, my teeth grinding together.
“Well, it’s obvious she’s only here because she still wants you. Like that is ever going to happen.” Her shrill laughter filled the air, making me flinch.
“I’m going to ask you one more time, Kellie. What. Did. You. Say. To. Her?”
“Asher, I…” Panic flared in her eyes, but she quickly recovered, smiling at me like I hung the moon. “I was just making sure she knew she wasn’t welcome around here anymore. Your dad would—”
