I looked to my lap and started to fiddle with the strap on my bag.
“Evie?” Mag called.
I stopped fiddling with the strap on my bag, faced front and said nothing.
But suddenly, I felt the mood in the cab lighten.
“Fuck, baby,” Mag murmured, reaching out and taking hold of my hand. “I’m sorry. I was a dick in how I relayed that.”
“It would hurt even if you were nice about it,” I told him, my voice flat.
He heard my voice, which was probably why he forced his fingers through mine, and with them laced, held on tight, pulling my hand to his thigh.
“Yeah, it would hurt,” he agreed. “But I should always be nice. I should never be a dick to you. It’s no excuse, but when you called from the mall, flipped out, then were cut off, and then Axl called it in that Cisco got you, it tweaked me. It was a certain kind of hell, knowing he had you, tryin’ to keep my head in the game as Hawk and the boys strategized a rescue mission. Then you called, and with how you did, I knew you were swinging your ass way out there, and that didn’t tweak me, it freaked me.”
Oh.
Well then.
One could say it didn’t once occur to me to think how it would feel to be on Mag’s side of this situation.
But now that he was sharing, I realized his day had been (almost) as bad as mine.
“Then my relief when the Nightingale team reported that you were safe didn’t last long when Cisco made it clear you charmed his shit,” he carried on. “I’m not a jealous guy, but I’m also not a guy who wants another guy openly into my woman. Definitely not throwing down for her. And definitely not someone like Cisco bein’ her latest fan.”
Hmm.
“I was kinda involved in what was happening to me and the girls,” I admitted. “I didn’t think about what you were going through.”
“Babe, I didn’t tell you that to get your sympathy. I told you that to explain why, since I saw you in Fortnum’s, I was acting like a dick.”
“Now that I know, it doesn’t seem like you’ve been a dick. Just…venting.”
“Right,” he muttered, giving my fingers a squeeze.
I squeezed his back.
And there we were.
My uncertainty washed away, and I was back on the fast track with Mag.
Because Mag was ticked, he worked it out with the guys, he shared with me, we worked it out.
And we ended all that holding hands.
“I can get you in to see your dad if you want,” he offered.
No.
I did not want.
“It could have been over for me. Easy,” I declared. “I had that bag to hand off to Snag and then I was out. Mick dragged me in, but Dad kept me in, and it’s a miracle that things turned out the way they did. It wasn’t fun, and you got hurt, but we can all move on, only by a miracle. Anything changed, like today, a stray bullet hit Ryn, or Axl took one, or Cisco didn’t like me, or those calls I made to you or Dad didn’t go as I’d hoped and that guy shot Pepper, and then Juno wouldn’t have a mom. The alternate scenarios are too frightening to even contemplate. And my fucking brother and father put me and people I care about in those scenarios.”
I looked to him.
And I then asked, “With all of that, what do you say to someone who did that to you? Who knowingly, for their own ends, put you in that spot? That someone, or those someones being your very own blood?”
“I don’t know, honey,” he whispered, his fingers tightening on my hand.
“Nothing,” I said. “There’s nothing to say.” I turned forward again. “And the funny thing is, I also feel nothing. Not about that. But I’m pissed because what I do feel is like I’m mourning the death of someone I should care about. And I’m doing that even though they never gave me the people they were supposed to be for me. I’ve lost a brother and a father that I never really had in the first place.”
I looked to him when I had to shift his way because he lifted my hand to press it against his heart.
And I watched when he lifted it again, to touch his lips to my fingers.
Then he set it back down on his thigh and spoke.
“Only thing I got to give you is, it’s over.”
For long moments, I stared at his long, strong fingers threaded through mine, still feeling the soft touch of his lips, before I closed my eyes and again turned forward.
I opened them and muttered, “Yeah.”
We fell silent.
We were close to his complex when I broke it to say, “Smithie knows I’m quitting.”
“Well, shit,” he said gently, “that means my girl really had a bad day.”
That made me smile because he was right with what he was saying without actually saying it.
Everyone was okay.
But Smithie didn’t want to lose me, he now knew he was losing me, it upset him, and Smithie mattered.
So upsetting him, even if we knew he’d get over it, even with all we’d been through that day, was what really made it a bad day.
“Do you like the movie 300?” I asked.
“Fucking kickass,” he said as answer.
And that made me smile, this time doing it big.
Because yet again, we agreed.
He pulled into his underground parking and we were parked, out, Mag had the Nordstrom bag, I had my purse hanging cross body, and we were holding hands and standing in front of the elevator after Mag tagged the button, when I broached it.
“Why is it so important to you that you’re Danny to me?”
He looked down at me and did not hesitate to lay it out, and in doing so, lay me out.
But in a totally, freaking awesome way.
He started this by saying, “That guy was dead, until you.”
I stared up at him. “What?”
“I used to be Danny. Danny the football stud. Danny the overprotective big brother. Danny the master at beer pong. Life was good with no indication it wouldn’t always be that way. I had no idea how shit life could be for so many people. Entire countries filled with people living complete nightmares. And when I learned that, beer pong lost its meaning. Fun never seemed fun because in my throat, I could still feel the dust, and remember what others endured, continued to endure, and that tinged everything with a thick coat of shit.”
“Danny,” I whispered, all the distress and helplessness I felt weighing heavy on his name.
The elevator doors opened.
We both ignored them.
“Then you kept calling me Danny,” he said. “And I didn’t give it time to process it, I just knew I liked it. I knew how it made me feel. Today, I realized, I need to be Danny for you. I need to remember I can’t make life okay for every being on this planet, and it sunk in that logically, that’s impossible. But what I can do is make it okay for you. I can be the overprotective boyfriend. I can get off on making my girl breakfast, and eating pancakes with her that, for the first time in years, don’t taste like sand, because I’m eating them at her side and life is good because I’m doing the only thing I have any control over doing. Playing my part in making it good for her, and for me.”
Oh God.
I was going to cry.
No, I was crying.
I felt the tear slide down my cheek, followed by another one.
“Baby,” he murmured, watching the wet fall.
“You wanted to rescue me today,” I guessed.
His gaze came to mine.
“No. I needed to rescue you today.”
Right, so maybe he was a little jealous of Brett.
And maybe he’d been tweaked, then freaked.
But mostly, he needed me to need him.
“I might have gotten the girls and me out of a jam today, honey,” I began. “But I’m always gonna need you to be Danny for me. Do you understand that?”
He nodded once. “Yeah.”
“And I’ll never call you anything but Danny,” I swore. “Not ever again.”
He grinned
at me, let my hand go and framed my face at one side, his thumb sweeping through the wet.
“And next time I’m kidnapped, I’ll sit tight and let you rescue me.” I promised that but quickly added, “Though I reserve the right to make alternate arrangements should there be certain peril for you, or, say, it’s a group abduction, like today, and the majority vote is to try to escape. I wouldn’t want to be a bad team player.”
He frowned.
Again quickly, I continued, “And you can make breakfast for me every day until the end of time.”
He stopped frowning.
“Deal,” he said softly.
I swayed toward him.
His hand at my cheek slid into my hair, his other arm curled around me, the Nordstrom bag hit the back of my thigh, but I didn’t notice because his head came down to mine, and we started necking in front of the elevator.
We did this like we’d never done it before.
In other words, it didn’t get hot and heavy.
It was just about intimacy, sharing, closeness, and yes, I was going to think it even if I wasn’t ready to express it any other way.
Love.
We broke it when the elevator doors opened again, and a guy said, “Whoa. Sorry.”
Danny shuffled me to the side, murmuring, “No, we’re sorry.”
The guy gave us an assessing look, lips quirking, and headed off to his car.
Danny pulled me into the elevator.
“Mentioning 300, you wanna watch that tonight?” he asked when we were going up.
“Yeah. Maybe order Chinese?” I answered.
“You got it.”
“We have ice cream, right?”
“Always.”
Shit day.
But I was with Danny.
And we had ice cream and movies.
So it was going to be a good night.
The elevator stopped, the doors opened, Danny took my hand and pulled me out, but halted almost immediately.
I did it too, looked up at him and then in the direction of his stare.
Sidney and Rob were loitering outside his door.
Shit, damn, hell.
“Hey,” I called.
“Hey?” Sidney asked irately. “You were kidnapped again today, and you say ‘hey’?”
“Elvira,” Danny murmured, my guess, as to the culprit of who spilled the beans to my family about today’s adventures, not to mention gave them details about where Danny lived.
“I’m fine, it’s all good, it’s all over,” I assured as I tugged on Danny’s hand and took him their way.
“We know. Elvira reported in,” Sidney shared.
Yep.
The elusive yet omnipresent Elvira.
“And Dad called me to see if I’d set up bail for him,” she went on as Danny and I stopped close to them. “By the by, I’m pretty proud of myself that I didn’t screech the word no in a pitch that was guaranteed to explode his eardrum, I just said it and then hung up on him.”
Danny cut in at this point, letting my hand go to stick his out to Rob and say, “You’re Rob, I’m Dan Magnusson.”
Dan Magnusson?
I got a gooey, happy feeling because maybe today Danny didn’t just realize why he needed to be Danny to me.
Maybe today he realized he could also give badass Mag a break, and let a cool, sweet, affectionate, handsome, amazing guy named Dan into his life.
And that was awesome.
“Dan, yeah, Rob,” Rob greeted, taking his hand, studying his face, and when neither man moved for one beat, two, three, four, I dropped my eyes and noted how firm a grip they had on each other.
Right, so, he’d introduced himself as Dan.
But Mag was never going to be far away.
That made me happy too.
Because, not a shocker, I’d fallen head over heels in love with a commando called Mag.
“Before you two break all the bones in the other’s hand,” Sidney started, “maybe we can go in and get the rundown on Evan’s latest abduction.”
They broke off, Danny’s mouth twitching, and he turned to the door.
“Again, I’m fine, everyone’s fine. It wasn’t a fun day, but at least it’s all over,” I assured, Danny having opened the door and claimed me again, so I spoke as he was tugging me inside.
My family, what was left of it, followed.
“I can see you’re fine, but how is this all over?” Sidney asked.
Danny had dumped the Nordstrom bag on the island and was turning on lights.
I was turning to face off with my sister.
“Can I not have to do a blow by blow right now?” I requested.
“Anyone want a beer?” Danny asked.
I twisted to give him big eyes because I loved my sister, I loved Rob, but I was down for 300, Chinese, an orgasm where I was sure Danny wouldn’t mind doing all the work, and then sleep.
What I wasn’t down with was having a beer with Sidney grilling me about my day, and Rob doing whatever he was going to do to ascertain he approved of my boyfriend.
But at my big eyes, he just allowed his face to go soft (nice, but that didn’t cut it) and then he winked at me (shit, that worked) as Rob answered, “I’ll have one.”
“I don’t drink beer. Do you have vodka?” Sidney asked.
I sighed.
Then I went stiff because two arms closed around me and they did this tight.
They were Rob’s arms.
I relaxed and slid mine around him too.
“I’m okay,” I whispered.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck me,” he whispered back, these words thick and agonized and said into the top of my hair.
Right, so it wasn’t only Danny who’d had a rough go of the last few weeks while a woman he cared about was in danger.
And…
All right, yeah.
I still had family.
Also, a big fat oh no.
Because I was going to cry again.
I sniffled.
His arms got even tighter.
I lost it.
Damn.
Okay, so maybe it all came crashing down on me in that moment, but yeah, there I was, in Rob’s arms, bawling.
And then I wasn’t in Rob’s arms. He shifted me so I was in Danny’s arms.
Wow, that didn’t take long.
A firm handshake, the offer of a beer, and comforting arms, and he had Rob Approval.
So, of course, this meant I started crying harder.
“She has to get it out,” Danny said, obviously not to me.
“I’ll do the drinks,” Sidney offered quietly.
“And it really is over,” Danny said, my guess, to Rob, specifically, but also to both of them.
“You sure about that?” Rob asked.
“Nothing’s ever sure, man, and you don’t know me, but I’m in love with your girl and you’re important to her so I would never lie to you about something like that.”
What?
Wait.
Whoa.
What?
Oh my God!
Holy shit!
Danny just told me he was in love with me by telling my stepdad he was in love with me.
I grabbed hold of his shirt and started wailing.
GAH!
“Don’t let that freak you out, she’s a crier,” Sidney advised. “I had to turn off a video I thought was cool that had this fireman doing CPR on this cat, who he brought back to life through kitty chest compressions, because she completely lost it.”
I tipped my head back.
Danny looked down at me.
“Y-you too,” I said, meaning I was in love with him too.
He knew what I meant, and I knew he knew because I got his soft face again, but this time it was even softer, and it also was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
“Good,” he whispered, moving his hands to smooth my hair out of my face before he tucked my cheek to his chest and rounded me with his arms again, holding me warm and close.
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I relaxed into him, held him the same way, and snuffled.
“We were gonna get Chinese,” he announced. “You two in?”
Yeesh.
A beer was one thing.
Dinner?
But I knew what he was doing.
Today, I’d forever and always lost half of my family.
And I came home with the other half waiting outside the door to see if I was okay.
So he was making certain I knew I still had something of meaning.
Still, we could all go out for Chinese some other time.
Like, next week.
“I’m in,” Sidney said.
“We’re not intruding?” Rob asked.
Yes! I thought. We just “told” each other we were in love!
“Not at all,” Danny said.
I let out a breath and relaxed further into him.
“Are you two gonna become one right there by the island? Or, Evie, are you gonna break off so you can give me and Rob a tour of this shit-hot pad?” Sidney asked.
I tipped my head back to look at Danny again.
He dipped in to touch his lips to my forehead.
Yikes, but I loved it when he did that.
“I’ll order Chinese, you do the tour,” he told me.
“Got it,” I replied.
He gave me a squeeze before he let me go and asked the room at large, “Orders?”
Sidney was now at his windows that faced Denver.
I was swiping at my cheeks when she turned to me and declared, “Nighttime, just like this. Sister selfie. Denver at our back. Both of us in a tank top. Big hair. Red lips. I’ll get, like, five thousand likes.”
“I’m uncertain I want a social media presence,” I told her.
She rolled her eyes. “How you can be a tech nerd and not have Snapchat is beyond me.”
“The true tech nerds wrote the code that became the app that is Snapchat and you probably have no idea what they look like,” I returned.
“Whatever,” she muttered.
“Sidney likes spring rolls and moo shu chicken. Evie likes crab Rangoon and sesame chicken. I’ll eat any of that,” Rob ordered for Sidney and me, and the fact he could made me realize that I needed what Danny knew I needed when I didn’t know I needed it.
Family.
Dream Maker Page 36
