And I did.
“You know, Boone, when I’m sucking your cock, you can invade my privacy.”
His green eyes got wide (and I had to admit, with that hair, that tan, that bone structure, those mossy green eyes were insult to injury I actually wasn’t sucking his cock).
“Are you outta your mind?” he asked.
“And since that’s not gonna goddamn happen, especially now, you can butt right the fuck,” I leaned his way, “out.”
“Kathryn,” he growled, a stern set to his angled jaw.
No.
Hell no.
He was not gonna Dom me without earning the goddamned privilege.
“Don’t you even,” I hissed.
“I cannot believe you’re fuckin’ pissed…at me,” it was him who swept his arm out to indicate what was on my hutch, “when your brother’s ex is fucking you over…” and then he leaned my way, “huge.”
“Don’t you have a girlfriend you can stalk, Boone?” I asked snidely.
“Just sayin’, I’m not interested in her right now because she doesn’t need a serious-as-fuck spanking, sweetheart.”
My breath whistled between my teeth, I sucked so much of it in so fast.
This was because I was ticked at Boone, furious with Angelica, and incensed that his words caused my nipples to get hard and a surge of wet to saturate between my legs.
And I didn’t need what happened next.
Boone proving what I’d spent countless hours wondering about since the first moment I clapped eyes on him knowing Lottie picked him for me.
That he was an intuitive Master.
I knew this when he didn’t miss my reaction.
At least not the part that served his purpose.
Which meant he got closer, not super close, but close enough I could smell the residue of his shave cream.
Oh God.
Yeah, an intuitive Master.
And a skilled one.
“Should start small, tell you to open your mouth for me,” he whispered. “Slide my fingers inside, let you taste who you belong to.”
I stood still and stared into eyes that had lost almost all the green, they were so dilated.
He was turned on.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
“But right now, I’d rather see you on your knees,” he finished.
The words were trembling when I said, “Get out.”
He ignored me. “Though you’d rather be across mine.”
He was regrettably very right.
I fought back a shiver.
He dipped his face to mine.
And tore me apart.
“Your brother needs a fuckin’ program. His ex needs the verbal shit kicked out of her. But you’re so addicted to their dysfunction, set to be the enabler, you won’t do dick. Not to help guide them to a path that’s healthy for them, not to extricate yourself from a situation that is not healthy for you. You’re one of those chicks who likes chaos. Drama. Needs to be needed even if it’s dicked up how you gotta get your fix.”
His words felt like ice water fell from my ceiling, drenching me, chilling me to the bone.
“You know what’s good for them,” he continued, “but you won’t do dick about it. You know what’s good for you, and you won’t reach out and fuckin’ grab it.”
“Go fuck yourself, Boone.”
“Think I’ve made it abundantly clear, I’d rather fuck you.”
“That’s not gonna happen in twelve lifetimes.”
“Yeah, because you’re so hot to get off on the bullshit, you won’t grab hold of what’s good for you.”
“A macho asshole who thinks his shit doesn’t stink and stalks me and comes on to me when he’s got another woman in his bed?”
“We’re not exclusive.”
Seriously?
“Well, aren’t you proving with all of this you’re a keeper?”
His gaze moved over my face, down my body and back up. “Christ, you want it so bad, you’re tearing yourself apart.”
Of a sort, he was not wrong.
I was holding myself so still, if I moved an inch, it felt like my body would shatter.
“You’ve no idea what I want, Boone.”
“One thing I know, whenever I spend time in your space, what I want becomes less and less you.”
With that supremely successful comeback, he prowled out of my apartment.
I ignored the nagging sensation that, even with that scene, the loss of his presence felt like a physical blow, something I felt from the first time we met.
Instead of thinking on that, I looked down at the photos on the hutch.
When I could trust myself to move, I separated them and took all they displayed in.
I didn’t mind stripping. I’d embraced my sexuality a long time ago. Not to mention, I made buckets at Smithie’s, even if, at first, I’d done it as a means to an end to my real estate dream.
And one thing my dad taught me, giving a shit what people thought about you was for the birds. I’d wanted his love, I’d wanted his attention, and I’d learned early wanting either of those things was straight-up stupid, because neither were worth shit.
That said, my desired life trajectory had never included slithering oiled-up in nothing but a G-string on a reflective stage for horny assholes.
I’d left a hundred dollars for Angelica that day, raced to her house to take care of the kids, and she was getting a facial.
In the beginning, I got it. Brian’s descent was dramatic. Good Time Brian became Drunken Buffoon Brian so fast, it was terrifying.
So she’d kicked his ass out.
Portia had been two, Jethro one, Brian and Angelica had started early, moving in with each other right out of high school, whereupon Angelica got pregnant in a blink.
So both of them were young, and she was suddenly a single mom with the man she loved, spent six years with, lived with him for four, bought a house with him, made babies with him…gone.
So yeah.
I got it.
A woman lost all that, she’d need to lick her wounds.
Five years of that at the same time fucking over someone who looked out for her and her kids?
No.
I heard an engine roar in the distance, and I knew it was Boone’s Charger.
I looked to the window at the front of the house and put my hand to my throat.
One thing I know, whenever I spend time in your space, what I want becomes less and less you.
Well, that pretty much said it all.
And it hurt like hell.
But I wasn’t going to cry.
The last time I cried was a couple of months ago. After I’d been in the midst of a firefight in the parking lot of a mall during a kidnapping (mine). But the waterworks only came because I thought a guy I knew and liked had been shot in said firefight.
So those were kind of stressy tears, and I didn’t think they counted.
They weren’t heartbreak tears.
The last time I’d cried before that?
When I was fifteen and in a frothy, tea-length gown, waiting on Mom’s couch for Dad to show to take me to some father-daughter dance he had going on with whatever club that he belonged to.
Lions Club?
The Masons?
Whatever.
He didn’t show.
I sat on that couch all dolled up for a date with my dad, while Mom looked on, appearing openly like she’d gladly murder somebody. And I sat there until ten thirty before Mom got me out of that gown, unearthed the ice cream, and I sat in her bed, snot-nosed and bawling, but still shoving that frozen goodness in my mouth.
That was the last and only time I cried over a man.
So now…
Fuck it.
I wasn’t going to cry because Boone showed strong signs that he’d be a delicious Dom.
I wasn’t going to cry because, even if it was vaguely fucked up, finding that shit out about Angelica was something he spent his time and resources doin
g what he said he was doing, looking out for me.
I also wasn’t going to cry because Lottie had Mo, and her serenity and contentment at finding a good man to love who loved her floated like pearlescent clouds around her everywhere she went.
And Evie had Mag, and the adoration they shared for each other sparkled like glitter anytime one was near the other.
And I had no one.
And I wanted someone, someone special, someone who would look out for me, someone who would partner with me to navigate life, someone who was mine.
No, I wasn’t going to cry for any of these reasons.
I wasn’t going to cry at all.
So I didn’t cry.
I gathered the pictures up, pivoted, and walked out my back door.
About the Author
Kristen Ashley is the award-winning and New York Times bestselling author of nearly seventy romance novels, including the Rock Chick, Colorado Mountain, Dream Man, Chaos, and Fantasyland series. Her books have been translated into fifteen languages, with over three million copies sold.
Born in Gary and raised in Brownsburg, Indiana, Kristen is a fourth-generation graduate of Purdue University. Since then, she has lived in Denver and the West Country of England, and she now resides in Phoenix. She worked as a charity executive for eighteen years prior to beginning her independent publishing career. She now writes full time.
Because friendship, family, and a strong sisterhood are prevailing themes through all of Kristen’s novels, Kristen has created the Rock Chick Nation, a series of programs designed to give back to her readers and promote a strong female community. Its programs include Rock Chick Rewards, which raises funds for reader-nominated, nonprofit women’s organizations and has donated over $140,000.
You can learn more at:
KristenAshley.net
Twitter @KristenAshley68
Facebook.com/KristenAshleyBooks
Praise for Kristen Ashley
“Kristen Ashley’s books are addicting!”
—Jill Shalvis, New York Times bestselling author
“I adore Kristen Ashley’s books!”
—Maya Banks, New York Times bestselling author
“A unique, not-to-be-missed voice in romance.”
—Carly Phillips, New York Times bestselling author
“I don’t know how Kristen Ashley does it; I just read the damn [Dream Man series] and happily get lost in her world.”
—Frolic
“[Kristen] Ashley captivates.”
—Publishers Weekly
“When you pick up an Ashley book, you know you’re in for plenty of gut-punching emotion, elaborate family drama and sizzling sex.”
—RT Book Reviews
Also by Kristen Ashley
The Dream Man Series
Mystery Man
Wild Man
Law Man
Motorcycle Man
The Colorado Mountain Series
The Gamble
Sweet Dreams
Lady Luck
Breathe
Jagged
Kaleidoscope
The Chaos Series
Own the Wind
Fire Inside
Ride Steady
Walk Through Fire
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