Yet now, after all these years, she was doing the very thing that she had refused to do back then. It made no sense and once again he was curious about what had happened to her these past six years. Guilt coursed through him, knowing that he still felt a sense of obligation towards her, no matter what had happened.
‘Please let me...allow me to help you.’
‘Why?’ She flicked her gaze in his direction. ‘Really, there’s no need, Ralph.’
‘That may be so, but I would like to give you any assistance that you may require.’ He sighed. ‘Despite everything you say, Gwen, I feel a sense of responsibility towards you.’
‘Again, I must enquire the reason to that. Is it simply because I am unmarried still? Is that where your sense of responsibility stems from, because you can otherwise spare your breath.’
True, he had never thought Gwen to be unmarried, but there was a lot more to it than that. Without the protection of a husband, she was certainly at the mercy of every ambitious man with an eye to her wealth, including his cousin Stephen. Which again begged the question of how she had protected herself all this time and how she had managed to escape Stephen le Gros, when he had effectively taken Kinnerton to become its sergeant after his father’s death. The man had mentioned something about her evading him and running away. Is that what she had done and if so, why had she not run away with him?
‘There is much I don’t know about you, Gwen, and I would like to rectify that, if you would allow it.’
‘That is not what you said the other night.’
‘I know...and for that I apologise. As much as you asked me to forget you, Gwen, it is impossible for me to do. I cannot just simply allow you to leave here without being assured of your safety.’
Her shoulders slumped and she expelled a breath. ‘My thanks, Ralph but I just don’t believe—’
‘Listen to me, Gwen. This scheme of yours will lead nowhere other than disaster. Wherever it is that you’re intending to go, I will pledge on my sword, on my oath as a knight, that I will escort you myself. But not directly and certainly not like this.’
She frowned, narrowing her eyes, not quite believing his words ‘Because you fear for my safety?’
‘Yes.’ He inclined his head. ‘It would be my honour to protect you, my lady.’ And he meant it. Especially as Ralph could never have done so when they were younger—he could not have stood up to his cousin back then. Now, however, he would do right by Gwen as well. Yes, he would swear to protect her and escort her to wherever she wanted to go, but only after his future was determined one way or another.
Her brows furrowed in the middle, inducing a little crease in her forehead that he remembered from before. He pushed the memory away and tugged his hood forward, making sure that his face was still shrouded and hidden away.
‘What happens if you do not succeed at the tournament, Ralph?’
His lips pressed down into a thin line. ‘My success at regaining Kinnerton has no bearing on this. I would still escort you to wherever you need to go.’
Gwen didn’t seem to believe in his abilities, even after all this time? Well, no matter, he would have to prove to her just what he was capable of.
‘I know, Ralph. I did not mean to cause offence. I just...’
‘And I shall protect you against Stephen. Upon my honour.’
She lifted her head. ‘Your honour is not in doubt, but it isn’t necessary for you to embroil yourself with Stephen. Especially if you do not want him to become suspicious of you and you don’t, do you?’ Her eyes narrowed. ‘That’s why you want him to continue to believe you are dead, I assume. So that you can gain leverage?’
‘Something to that effect, but regarding this, Gwen, I cannot stand by while Stephen continues to intimidate you, as he did the other night.’
* * *
Gwen would like nothing better than to believe Ralph. But she was not certain that she would ever feel safe from Stephen le Gros. Not until she was far away from him would she feel secure from his advances. Yet...yet it was a relief to have this surprising offer of support and protection from Ralph de Kinnerton. Not since Gwen, as ward of the Crown, had lived with the family of the Lord Protector and Regent of England, William Marshal, had she felt safe. However, her situation once again became precarious after Marshal’s death.
Gwen had managed to get away from Stephen all those years before, after the man had usurped Ralph and taken Kinnerton Castle unlawfully. He had foolishly believed that he would just be handed the castle, its lands and...her.
Yet, Gwen knew that his presumption and arrogance in believing that, with both Ralph and his father, the old Lord de Kinnerton, out of the way, everything would then belong to him would be his weakness. Stephen le Gros had underestimated her and she’d used that to her own end.
Gwen had persuaded Stephen that if he forced her into marriage, it would go against him and sit unfavourably with the Crown, who had by then seized Kinnerton as well as her wardship. Gwen had surmised correctly that the Crown would need the tax levies from both Kinnerton and her Welsh lands during the Barons’ conflict and used this to get away from Stephen.
And her plan had worked.
Not only had the Crown continued its demand for a huge feudal relief that King John had set on Kinnerton before his death, but had not been willing to give it up so readily after the end of the conflict. Meaning that all this time, Stephen had no real way to raise the sum himself either, unless he did so by foul means.
It also meant that she had been free of Stephen le Gros until now...until this tournament with the possibility of huge sums of money to be won.
Gwen flicked her gaze to Ralph. All that had been before her knowledge of the man stood opposite being alive and at this very tournament. Could she trust that he’d help her? Indeed, she was at a loss as to understand why he would, after everything that had happened. And yet... This was still the same Ralph de Kinnerton, who had always been steadfast, resolute and loyal to a fault. She knew with absolute clarity that she could trust him with her life.
Before Gwen knew what she was about to do, she stepped forward and stuck out her hand.
‘Very well, I accept.’
Ralph seemed to hesitate as if he couldn’t quite believe that she had acquiesced, but then he regained himself and reached out to clasp her hand and lifted his head.
The sudden flash of heat flared from where their hands joined together, unexpectedly. She swallowed uncomfortably. Oh, Lord, mayhap this had not been a prudent decision after all. But it was then that Gwen felt the rough, jagged feel of his hand holding hers. She looked down at their joined hands and stared at the contorted, twisted muscles with gashed marks all over and gasped.
The hood of Ralph’s cloak slipped back from his head a little as he let go of her hand and lifted his head, his face flustered and weary. He pulled the hood of his cloak to cover his head again, but not before Gwen had briefly glimpsed the scars on one side of his face.
‘Ralph?’ She reached out her arm, but he stepped back and inclined his head briskly.
‘I will honour my oath to you. Now I must get back. Until later, my lady.’
And with that, he vanished just as quickly as he had appeared.
Chapter Seven
Ralph de Kinnerton had not just been hiding beneath his scallop-edged, hooded cloak in an attempt to conceal his identity, as Gwen had believed. No, he had been concealing far more than she could ever have imagined.
Lord above, but his hand, his face! What in heaven’s name had happened to him? She had hoped that the reaction he had seen on her face had been one of empathy and not pity. However, there had been no conceivable way for Gwen to have concealed the surprise and shock she felt after feeling his hands grasping hers and the flash of the scars beneath his hood.
She could only imagine what Ralph had endured. What her desire to protect him had led to.<
br />
‘I believe that you have made the right choice, Gwen.’ Brida glanced in her direction as she continued to put all their possessions back in the chamber, as before. ‘I am glad that I can say that freely now.’
‘You were before. And I hope you’re right, but only time will tell.’ She sighed. ‘And at least we shall now have Ralph de Kinnerton’s escort when we eventually depart. Which will, God willing, relieve the worry of any possible danger en route.’
Brida stopped and turned her head. ‘So, you still mean to go the convent of St Mary de Hogge?’
It had been through Isabel, Countess of Pembroke and wife of the late William Marshal, that Gwen had been given this lifeline. This small salvation to travel to a remote convent founded by the Countess’s grandfather, in Leinster, Ireland, where no one would ever think to find her.
‘After everything that has happened, there can be no other choice, as you know. And I am resigned to my fate. But what of you, Brida? Have you changed your mind about accompanying me? I had always believed that you’d wanted to get back home to Ireland?’ Gwen continued to unpack her belongings, such as they were.
‘No, my lady, I have not changed my mind. I thought that possibly you might have after meeting with...?’
‘Of course not. I have no other option, Brida, and I am not naive enough to believe that my situation could change, now or ever. And the knowledge that Ralph is alive, when we believed the worst, makes the huge sacrifice that I took all those years ago even more worthwhile.’
‘You’re an admirable woman, Gwen,’ she said gently. ‘Not many would have had the courage to have done what you did.’
Oh, dear, she wasn’t going to cry.
Gwen abruptly brushed away the tears that had fallen on to her cheeks at her friend’s words and stared at her hands. The truth was that although the bargain she had made with Stephen le Gros six years ago had been one of the most difficult in her life, she would do it a thousand times again. It had not been for naught, as she had previously believed, since Ralph had managed to get away safely with the time she’d purchased. But it had left devastating consequences for her in its wake.
Gwen sat down on the edge of the soft pallet bed and smoothed away the crease in her brows, suddenly feeling a little weary. ‘Nothing has changed beside the fact that we shall remain here longer than we had originally planned.’
After the nervous energy and the anticipation of leaving court, Castle Pulverbatch and this tournament, she was beginning to feel the strain of the day.
‘We’ll need to remain vigilant, Gwen. Far more than before.’
True, nothing had really changed, with Gwen’s future just as precarious as before, but at least she now had Ralph’s assistance and support.
Ralph...
She suddenly had a need to convey her thanks again to him and, more importantly, to find out more about the nature of his injuries.
‘Come, allow me to help you out of those clothes, Gwen. You’ll feel more like yourself after a wash and once you’re back to wearing your own clothes.’
‘Thank you but, no.’ She stood up. ‘There’s something I need to do...that I must do before I can feel anything remotely like myself.’
‘You’re going out like that, dressed as a squire...in the middle of the day?’
‘I am.’ Gwen smiled at her friend. ‘Apparently many do, in these parts.’
‘I’ll come with you.’
‘No, stay, I shall return soon.’
Gwen stopped by the wooden arched door as Brida called out to her, ‘Be careful, my lady.’
She nodded at her friend and pulled her hooded cloak over her head before leaving the chamber.
* * *
Gwen enjoyed the relative freedom and sense of anonymity she had acquired while posing, briefly, as a squire. It was quite liberating passing through the inner bailey and gatehouse without anyone’s notice. She had even passed Stephen le Gros, who was coming back into the castle with one of his men, but, with her head bent low and hood covering her head, he had not even looked her way.
Letting out the breath that she had been holding, Gwen continued to stroll towards the furthest corner of the practice area, occupied by the de Clancey knights, trying her best to remain inconspicuous. Here on the edges of the clearing, red tents were dotted around, housing knights, with the largest red tent reserved for Lord and Lady de Clancey.
A sudden incongruous noise caught her off guard. Gwen snapped her attention in the direction of the two largest tents, curious to find the source of the sound of a young child giggling and a dog barking playfully. The noise intrigued her and was so out of place in an area held for the clatter and bluster of knights’ combat practice. Her lips quirked upwards at the scene that greeted her when she made her way around the corner of the two largest tents.
A young boy, who looked to be no more than five years old, seemed to be teasing a little black and white dog by holding a wooden stick out of its reach. The dog wagged his tail as the boy made it sit before pretending to throw the stick some distance.
Gwen chuckled as the dog chased the stick that had not actually been thrown. The young lad turned in her direction at the sound of her laughter and stepped back with a look of uncertainty on his face.
‘Please do not be alarmed, it’s quite all right,’ she muttered and pushed back her hood a little, so that he could see her face.
He blinked as he continued to look at her up and down, before sucking his thumb and nodding at her. ‘You are a girl?’
‘Yes, I... I am.’ She realised how ridiculous she must look to a young boy dressed as she was. ‘But these are not my usual clothes.’
‘Don’t worry, my mother likes to dress as a boy—a lot.’ He suddenly looked up at her and frowned. ‘You won’t tell anyone though, will you? Papa says it is our secret.’
‘I swear on the holy saints that I won’t. You have my promise.’
He continued to watch her with his big green eyes and then smiled, as two big dimples popped out in his rosy cheeks. ‘I’m William Tallany.’
She chuckled and made a deep curtsy. ‘Happy to make your acquaintance, young sir. I’m Gwenllian ferch Hywel of Clwyd.’
‘That is a very long name.’
‘I suppose it is. I am originally from Wales, but I have lived here in England for a long time. Call me Gwen, William Tallany.’
‘Very well.’ He sucked his thumb and bowed his head. ‘Do you want to play with me, Gwen? I only have Perdu, here, to play with,’ he said, stroking his fur.
‘Your dog is friendly.’ Gwen knelt down and scratched the little dog’s belly.
‘Oh, he’s not my dog, but Isabel’s. Do you know her? She’s very nice and gives me lots of honey cakes.’
Ah, he must mean Lady Isabel de Clancey. ‘Honey cakes are my favourite, too. Tell me, William, why are you alone with just Perdy for company?’
‘It’s Perdu. Well, the truth is...’ he shuffled his feet in the grass ‘...that I might have played a little, tiny trick on Brunhilde, she’s my nursemaid—not that I need one now—and she has to lie down because I “sasperate” her. Isabel said I could watch the knights with her because one day I’ll need to be as good as Uncle Will and my papa, but then I forgot about the secret, so now I’m here with Perdu for company.’
‘Oh, dear,’ she muttered, not completely following his tale.
‘Do you like to dress like a boy, Gwen?’
‘Not quite. I am pretending, you see, to be someone that I am not.’
He nodded, his dark curls bouncing around his plump cheeks. ‘Yes.’ He pulled a face, moved a little closer and whispered behind his hand, ‘Everyone here is pretending, lots and lots. That’s why I’m here and not there watching the knights.’
Gwen sunk her teeth into her bottom lip in the hope to stop from laughing. ‘Did you do something terribly bad?’
He nodded again and pursed his lips. ‘I shouted something I shouldn’t have because it’s a big secret,’ he muttered in hushed tones. ‘But it was only because I was excited that Ralph was winning. I forgot, you see.’
‘I do see...and I can understand that it is not so easy when you have to remember so many secrets. But you know, William Tallany, it might be best to heed their advice since you would not want to betray a confidence.’
‘I know and that is what Isabel and Uncle Will said. So now I have to play here because they think I might give away more secrets. Which I won’t. I promised and everything.’
She felt a little sorry for the little boy. ‘I am sure that it was an accident and that you have learnt your lesson now.’
‘I really have, Gwen. I’m really, really actually good at keeping secrets,’ he said, kicking a stone. ‘I won’t tell anyone that you like dressing up like a boy,’ he assured her.
She was touched at how earnest the child was. ‘Thank you, young sir. I am indebted to you.’
‘And you’ll keep my secret, too? You won’t tell anyone about my friends, Ralph and Tom?’
‘I promise.’ She bent low and whispered in his ear, ‘I’ll let you into another one of my own. Ralph is also my friend.’
‘Is he? No one told me that. Have you seen his scars? I’d want some just like his when I’m older. It would make me a lot more f’rocious.’ He looked behind her and beamed. ‘Isabel, this is my new friend, Gwen...’ He looked up at her. ‘Oh, I’ve forgotten the rest of your name.’
Gwen lifted her head and met the curious gaze of Lady Isabel de Clancey. ‘My lady.’ She curtsied, feeling awkward at being found having a conversation with the young William Tallany on her own and being dressed as she was. Isabel, however, smiled warmly and returned her formal acknowledgment.
‘Lady Gwenllian ferch Hywel, I am very happy to make your acquaintance.’ She held out her hand to the little boy. ‘I came in search of you as your mother and I had wondered whether you might be hungry, William?’
The Return of Her Lost Knight Page 8
