‘Quite well as it happens. I’ve apparently got a surprise ready for me after the repast.’
She laughed, ‘So I hear.’
‘Will you stay and watch?’
Gwen had not intended to stay too long. It would not be too prudent to spend too much time with Ralph, when it would make her wish for things that she could no longer have.
She met his eyes and realised that, despite Ralph’s insouciant manner, they also held a certain solicitation. He wanted her to watch.
‘Yes.’ She nodded, hesitantly. ‘I would be happy to.’
‘Good.’ He bowed. ‘Until later, my lady.’
* * *
This challenge was the greatest test that Ralph had had so far. It would also be his last until the mêlée à pied on the morrow. The unpredictability of the combat was one that made Ralph realise that he couldn’t leave anything to chance...but then that did not mean he knew what William de Clancey had in mind to test his mettle.
Ralph quickly glanced at the clearing and noticed wryly the sight of the women standing on the periphery watching the spectacle. Even from where he stood, he could see Gwen chatting with the others. Her demeanour might have been a little reserved, but then Ralph had felt the same embarrassment she had in the interest they had induced from the others around them.
It had not been a good idea to give rise to any further speculation regarding the two of them, but Ralph had been glad that Gwen had come here, nevertheless. He was surprised to learn that he liked having her there. Her support meant a great deal more than it should. It gave him a sense of calm that he had not experienced in many years.
‘Are we ready?’ Ralph looked from beneath his helmet at Thomas, his opponent, and drew his sword out of its scabbard.
‘I am, but are you?’
Ralph smirked as they began to clash their swords against each other, their movements agile and lithe. The two friends were evenly matched, being of a similar height and weight, but Ralph’s tenacity was winning through.
‘Not bad at all, Ralph. I can see you are tilting your sword in the manner Will showed us.’
‘It apparently works remarkably well for knights who wield their weaponry in their left hand.’
‘To good effect it would seem.’
‘Indeed.’ Ralph adjusted the angle of his sword as he lunged forward and struck against Tom’s sword.
‘Impressive, but enough of this.’ Tom plunged his sword in the ground in front of him and tilted his head. ‘I believe it’s time to make things a little more interesting.’
‘Is that so?’
‘Yes, we need to make this more of a challenge.’
‘Oh, and how do you intend to that?’ Ralph said in between taking in big gulps of breath.
‘Look around you, my friend.’
Ralph spun on his heel and saw Hugh behind him and to his left Will, who grinned and gave him a mock salute.
‘All of you?’
‘Indeed.’
‘At the same time?’
‘I’m afraid so.’ Will smirked. ‘But never fear, we shall go easy on you.’
How in heaven’s name was Ralph supposed to fight his friend, an exceptional warrior in his own right, and two of the most notorious knights in Christendom, whose fighting skills were the stuff of legend?
‘Now remember what we talked about, Ralph. You have every necessary skill.’ Hugh thumped his chest. ‘However, you must feel it here.’
‘And you have to use your intuition.’ Will nodded.
Ralph was circled by the three men and, one by one, they each lunged forward in attack, making contact with his sword as he used a deflective strike back. Round and round they prowled, as each attack came at him with greater vigour and speed. Ralph turned quickly, knowing he had to change the formation for his own advantage, so that he wasn’t the one constantly being attacked. He pushed on his heel and stepped back expediently and found the three men now in a single line.
This was a little better than the feeling of being hunted, but only slightly better than being surrounded by all of them.
‘Not bad, Ralph.’
‘Could still do with a little more refinement in your movement,’ retorted Hugh.
‘And the manner in which you swing your sword.’
‘That’s it. Much better.’
Hugh lunged forward with such force, taking Ralph by surprise, that he had to take a few steps back just to hold his position.
‘Ah, I’d say that the contest begins in earnest, now.’
‘Hardly fair,’ Ralph stammered.
‘Surely you can take on all of us?’
‘Not by choice, I grant you. That would be madness.’ He turned around to defend himself against Hugh’s attack.
‘Come now, you are much better than you think.’
‘I would say that he is. Only he does not know it yet,’ Tom bellowed over the sound of clashing of metal.
‘Ah, that would be a shame.’ Will shook his head. ‘Since it would beg the question whether he is good enough to protect his fair maiden?’
‘I am not certain.’ Tom grimaced.
‘No, indeed there are many here who would imagine that they are Lady Gwenllian’s protectors.’
Ralph continued to defend each powerful strike coming quickly at him, as well as ignoring everything that was being said. It was not an easy task.
‘She is after all a very beautiful lady. I have heard her described by many a knight here.’ Tom smirked as he came at him on his weakest side.
He turned and struck out, his breathing becoming laboured.
‘Would she even welcome such a thing from Ralph de Kinnerton?’
Ralph sensed the blood roar in his veins. But he couldn’t allow his anger to overwhelm his senses. He had to block these words from penetrating into his head.
‘Only the saints would know, but mayhap the fair lady would prefer another knight’s protection.’
The surge of unfettered violence suddenly swept through him as he lunged at William over and over, pushing him back. His voice and the words he had uttered had crawled into Ralph’s head, obliterating any rational thought.
‘After all, Ralph de Kinnerton couldn’t manage to protect her properly before. How well could he do so now?’
Ralph spun around and lashed out, not knowing who it was that he was fighting, only that he was battling everyone. The whole damn world and everyone who had done him wrong. The clamour in his head was so intense that he could hardly see. Beads of sweat tricked down his face and mingled with the rising mist of anger that seemed to make him hurtle out of control. No, he would not allow it.
He struck out again and again aimlessly, not caring whom the combat was against, only for the damn pounding in his head to stop. Only for these perpetual doubts to subside.
And then it happened. With his reflexes awry, he made a terrible blunder. Just when Ralph thought he might be able to repair his folly and stand his ground, his sword was met with such force that it flew out of his hand and he was pushed on to the ground, staring up at the tips of three blades pointing at him.
Hell and damnation!
Ralph lay in frustration and annoyance at his damn inadequacy.
Hell’s teeth, but he had failed...miserably. And with Gwenllian ferch Hywel watching him. God, for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.
Ralph took the metal helmet off, his mouth full of spittle, and looked up as Will Geraint knelt beside him, holding out his hand.
‘I apologise for resorting to that crass provocation, but it was a necessity, I’m afraid.’
‘Was it?’ He shut his eyes as he hissed an oath under his breath.
‘Yes. Whether in a tournament or in battle, men will always seek to use anything they sense to be your weakness,’ Hugh muttered, shaking his head. ‘Don’t allow
them to, Ralph.’
It was true that this visceral need to protect Gwen from harm as well as his attraction to her allowed him to be far too distracted. Indeed, Ralph had to resist these feelings for Gwen that could threaten to overwhelm his mission here at this tournament.
‘You must not allow anyone or anything to be used against you.’ Will’s lips pressed into a thin line. ‘And you must use your emotions to harness and heighten your prowess, not the other way around.’
‘There I was believing I was ready, but sadly I have been found lacking.’
‘On the contrary, my friend, that was an excellent display of your ability. The fact that we had to employ those unsavoury means should act as confirmation of that.’ Will smiled, pulling him to his feet. ‘Just control that temper, Ralph.’
‘How exactly?’
‘Every man has his fears and weaknesses. The trick is not to allow anyone to know what they are and, if they somehow find out, make them believe that you are impervious to them.’
Hugh clasped his shoulder. ‘You must seek a way through this and conquer your demons.’
‘I know, I know.’
‘I have faith that you shall. Whatever you may believe, Ralph, you are a highly skilled knight. You just need to trust that.’
‘And do not forget that sometimes it takes another’s perspective and understanding to discover your own path, my friend.’
Was it his imagination or had Will just referred to Gwenllian? Could her insight and the truth she kept hidden be the key to unlocking the past for them both? Ralph gave his weary head a shake and bowed. ‘My lord.’
Chapter Ten
The eventide came with a cluster of stars scattered across the clear, moonlit sky. It had been a long day that had stretched and yawned, draining every last drop of his resolve, with the onset of fatigue seeping in. Yet Ralph was about to climb the enormous tree outside the arched window of Gwen’s chamber. He exhaled on a sigh before leaping up and grabbing hold of the branch, swinging his legs around so that he could gain purchase. Ralph looked up and realised that there was still quite a distance to climb, but gradually he moved from one sturdy branch to another until he had dextrously made his way up. He broke a thin, long branch and reached out and tapped it against the wooden shutter. Instantly it was pulled open as Gwen peered out, looking in every direction.
‘Good evening, my lady.’ Ralph could see, from where he stood languidly leaning back against the thick branch, that he had surprised Gwen.
‘Oh.’ She lifted her head. ‘I did not expect you to have come all the way up.’
‘You beckoned and I’m here. He grinned from beneath the canopy of leaves and branches. ‘Besides, I thought it a safer and more discreet way for us to have this discussion.’
‘I suppose so.’ She chuckled.
‘Now, how can I be of service to you?’
She peered out of the window. ‘I wanted to find out whether you were well, after the practice.’
‘Ah...’ He rubbed his jaw, his fingers grazing the rough mangled side of his face. ‘And you did not want to make your enquiry earlier, I take it?’
‘I should have, but this was the only way to snatch a moment alone with you, Ralph.’ His brow rose at that, but he didn’t interrupt her as she continued to explain in a quiet, measured tone, ‘There were just too many curious eyes turned in our direction and I wanted to speak to you with ease, alone.’
‘And now you are.’
‘Yes.’ She sighed shakily. ‘And now I am.’
They descended into silence for a moment as they felt the breeze rustle through the leaves.
‘How do you fare after the practice, Ralph? You did well, you know, taking all of them on.’
‘Did I? I’m not so sure, but either way it was a lesson well learnt.’
‘Yes, but hardly fair.’
He shrugged. ‘And neither is the reality of a mêlée or even a battlefield, Gwen.’
‘So, you would consider what you had to go through a necessity?’
‘I’m afraid so.’ Ralph pushed away from the bark and moved tentatively closer to the window. ‘It would be remiss of me not to explore every possibility.’
‘I cannot comprehend your meaning.’
‘To anticipate the cause and the effect of any given situation could determine the difference between success and failure.’
‘The cause and effect. Yes well, you and I have both had to live with the consequences of that.’
No, he could not discount the truth in that. They had both had their share of misfortune and grief in all its different guises. And seemingly survived their given situation in their own inimitable way.
‘You will be careful tomorrow, won’t you?’ she muttered quickly. ‘I would hate it if anything were to happen to you.’
‘Anything can happen, that is rather the point, with the uncertainty of the mêlée à pied.’ Ralph realised his mistake, noting that, even in this light, Gwen looked a little ashen. ‘But of course I’ll do my best to stay safe. I give you my word.’
It soothed his weary bones to think that Gwen still seemed to care for his welfare, his progress...for him. She might now harbour a different future for herself, but that did not mean that she didn’t want him to succeed or that she didn’t care for him.
‘Let’s talk of something else. Tell me more about yourself, Gwen.’
‘What do you mean to know?’
‘Anything, everything.’ He crawled a little closer and sat on the branch, his long legs dangling over the edge. ‘Your hopes, your dreams...your greatest wish.’
Ralph wasn’t really sure what had propelled him to utter such absurdities. Yet, here, now...under the moonlight and those damned stars, the words seemed to spill out of him.
‘My hopes, my dreams,’ she murmured as she leant out of the window and sighed. ‘Oh, they are of no consequence.’
‘Of course they are.’ He reached out and touched her elbow. ‘Gwen?’
‘I must go, Ralph. She reached out and caught his fingers and gave them a squeeze. ‘Goodnight. I shall pray for your safety.’
‘Wait, don’t go.’ Ralph grasped her hand, pulling her back. ‘Tell me something else instead, anything that you like. Tell me something I do not know about you.’
‘Surely you know all there is about me.’
‘Six years have passed and we are now very different people from who we once were.’
‘Do you think so?’ Her brows met together in contemplation. ‘In some ways, yes, I have changed, I suppose. It would be strange if I had not. But in essentials, I believe I am much as I was back then.’
‘When you put it across like that, most people do not really change in essentials.’
‘Even you?’
‘With possibly my exception.’ He turned her hand over and placed his palm against hers, his fingers bending over the top of hers. ‘I have worked so hard to remove every last vestiges of the man I used to be, that I do not know any more, in all honesty.’
‘You were barely a man back then,’ she said softly.
‘In every way that it mattered I was, however,’ he said bitterly. ‘Even though I appeared to be much younger than my years. Why do you suppose we never married at the time?’
‘I knew even at the time why that had not occurred. Not that anything was ever explained to me. But know this—your father made many wrong assumptions about you.’
Ralph’s lips pressed into a thin line. Yes, his sire had made many mistakes about whom he trusted and with the way he had administrated Kinnerton, but where Ralph disagreed with Gwen was in what his father had believed about him. Ralph knew now what he did not back then—how incredibly lacking he had been in what was required to be a Marcher Lord. And this more than anything had been what had driven him to change as much as he had. He’d needed to, in order to be the man he
had to become.
‘But we were not talking about me.’ He raised his brow. ‘Well, now. Are you going to tell me something about you, about the woman you are and have since become?’
Ralph wasn’t sure whether Gwen would agree to his request as she seemed reluctant to divulge anything more about herself. That was one very notable difference about Gwen now—the fact that she was so much more guarded than before.
He watched her as the light danced across her face and then she blinked, a slow smile spreading on her lips. ‘Very well. Come inside the chamber, then, and I’ll show you.’
Gwen helped him climb through the small arched window. He stood up and scanned the small, serviceable chamber. The room had a large pallet with a cream coverlet with Gwen’s signature floral embroidered over it, a wooden coffer against the wall and was lit by both the fire in the hearth and the light on the metal wall sconce.
‘Where is Mistress Brida, this evening?’
‘There’s something she needed to attend to, but she’ll return shortly.’ Gwen beckoned. ‘Come, I want to show you something.’
Gwen led Ralph to her makeshift workspace, lit by one of her only extravagances, a small beeswax candle. The others were seemingly scattered on top of the plain wooden coffer.
‘So, Ralph de Kinnerton, pray tell me what do you make of all of this?’
She noticed as his eyes widened in surprise as he tilted his head towards her.
‘What do we have here?’
There, on the coffer, were reams of parchment with sweeping letters, decoratively formed and illustrated, that Gwen had created using inks and powdered and crushed pigment dyes.
‘These are what I had practised, before I transferred my work on to the parchment or even vellum.’
‘You?’ Ralph smiled. ‘You created this...this exquisite work.’
‘I did.’ She shrugged. ‘But this isn’t really as impressive as you’d imagine. The true masters, training in monasteries up and down the country, produce the most breathtaking, stupendous artwork that you have ever seen.’
‘And how have you come to be so skilled in such stupendous artwork?’
The Return of Her Lost Knight Page 11
