When Sam had been working for Bastan, she had been tasked with acquiring rings like that. Bastan felt no remorse at taking from those with more, especially men like this merchant. He didn’t necessarily believe in redistribution but did feel that not enough wealth flowed into Caster and other lower sections of the city. Bastan had done what he could to stimulate the movement of monies.
The merchant was trailed by nearly a dozen men.
Were they guards?
They were dressed in deep black clothing, and Sam imagined it signified their servitude to the merchant, but they carried themselves in a certain way, a posture of alertness, of awareness that wasn’t typical of servants.
Most of the merchants were content with hiring the palace guards, content using the soldiers to protect them. Why would this merchant feel otherwise?
Unless they weren’t there to guard him.
Had Sam read it wrong?
It wouldn’t be the first time. She often struggled with understanding what highborns did, and the behaviors that were considered normal for them. There was a difference between what would be considered the norm in the more central sections of the city versus what was acceptable in the outer sections—the lowborn sections of the city.
Curiosity prompted her to follow.
She trailed the merchant from above, racing along the rooftops of the shops, and only jumping down to the street when the buildings transitioned from the row of shops that she could stay on top of to the line of houses. There wasn’t any easy way to track from above the houses. She could attempt to navigate along the wall that surrounded most of them but doing that would likely allow others to see her.
Once down on the street, Sam disassembled her canal staff and hung it beneath her cloak once more. She pulled her cloak tight and buckled the belt around it, keeping it from fluttering as she walked. Movement would only draw attention, and she knew that if nothing else, she didn’t want attention drawn to her. That was a lesson Marin had taught her, one that Sam had taken to heart, recognizing its value.
Given the number of men following the merchant, she half expected him to head into the outskirts of the city, to take the bridges that would lead him into the lowborn sections, parts of the city many considered more dangerous. For highborns, and those accustomed to some of the upper-class sections, perhaps it was dangerous. Instead, the merchant veered toward the palace.
That was odd, but equally odd was the fact that he passed unchallenged from one section to the next. Sam trailed from a distance, keeping her attention on the merchant, and soaring over the canals rather than taking the bridges. She had the appropriate documents to prove that she was welcome at the palace, but it was much more fun, and challenging, to jump the canals and travel that way. She was more accustomed to it, anyway, and it gave her a certain anonymity that crossing at the bridges did not allow.
When he crossed over to the palace section without being stopped, she knew that he must have permission.
Where had he come from? She had assumed that he had come out of one of the houses, but if that were the case, it was unlikely that he would travel to the palace with so many men of his own. More typical would be for palace guards to come to him and escort him. Sam had witnessed that in the past; it was how the princess had come to her attention.
Were the guards for his protection as he passed through other sections of the city?
She was forced to reassess her appraisal.
Maybe he wasn’t dressed as he was to flaunt his wealth—at least not entirely for that purpose. Maybe he had come from someplace outside the city.
Sam had never ventured outside the city. It was dangerous enough inside the city, that leaving the borders of places she knew was not something she had ever been willing to risk. Part of that was her own reluctance, and part came from a desire to keep Trayson safe. She had needed to remain in the city in order to do that. She wasn’t about to let Marin use him if she wasn’t around.
Sam laughed inwardly. All this time she had spent trying to protect Tray from Marin, and it had never really been necessary. Marin wouldn’t have hurt Tray, but she had used him to pull Sam closer to her.
The merchant and the men with him disappeared behind the walls of the palace. Sam watched for a moment longer before approaching the nearest guard, who watched her for long moments before waving her through. Sam passed through, but felt a moment of disgust at how easy it was for her to reach the palace now. It shouldn’t be that easy for her. She was lowborn. There was no reason for her to be granted access to the palace.
She caught a glimpse of the merchant being welcomed into the palace, and Sam hurried back to her quarters. It would do no good for her to be caught watching. Better to hide her interest and hide the curiosity that tugged at her. She doubted Elaine would give her answers. But there might be others in the palace who would. Sam was determined to have those answers.
8
Where We Differ
“I think we should continue our talking session,” the physicker said.
Sam glanced over, clutching her arms around her. She hadn’t seen Elaine since her visit to Bastan a few days earlier. There were questions she had and answers she needed. They were questions she should have asked before but had never considered them.
“I’m not sure it helped the last time,” Sam said.
“Didn’t it? You were observed visiting your old section of the city. I wonder why you felt the need to do that.”
Had they been spying on her? That annoyed her more than it should have. “I felt the need to visit Caster because I don’t recall what I should about my earliest years.”
“And what did you discover?”
“Only that Bastan seems to care about me.” She hadn’t needed to visit him to recognize that, but it had been nice for her to hear it from him directly. “Oh, and I watched a merchant coming to the palace.” She still hadn’t discovered what that was about and was determined to do so. Eventually.
“Many merchants come to the palace,” the physicker said, waving her hand dismissively.
“Not like that. Not with as many guards as I saw.”
She frowned. “Guards?”
“And not palace guards. The merchant had his own guards.”
“How do you know he had his own guards?”
Sam chuckled. “I’ve seen them enough to know.”
The physicker shook her head. “Let’s get back to Bastan.”
“Fine.”
“You said he seems to care about you. Did you doubt that he did?”
Sam leaned back in the chair, staring at the ceiling. She hadn’t noticed before, but beams crisscrossed the ceiling, giving it an even more decorative appearance than others within the palace. Just what sort of room had the princess given her?
“In Caster, it’s hard to believe that there are others who care about your well-being. I know that there are, but most of the time, I feel—felt—as if I was on my own.”
“But you weren’t, not really.”
“I wasn’t,” Sam agreed.
How much of her background did the physicker know? Had Elaine and the princess shared what Marin had done, in addition to wiping her memory? Did they tell her about the way she had used Trayson in her plan?
For Sam to get any benefit from these sessions with the physicker, she would have to share everything, wouldn’t she?
Doing so was difficult for her. She’d been through quite a bit, but she had also told herself that she handled it well. She didn’t need the help of others. She was strong, and the time she’d spent alone in Caster had only made her stronger.
“I had my brother with me,” Sam said.
The physicker tapped her quill on her mouth as she often did, seemingly lost in thought. “What can you tell me about your brother?”
“You know that he’s not actually my brother.”
The physicker looked up and held her eyes. “Is that what you believe?”
“I believed Tray was my brother for the last t
en years of my life. No, that’s not quite right. I’ve always believed Tray was my brother. Now, I’ve been told he’s something else, and that he was used to keep me close.”
“Does it change your feelings about him?”
“It changes nothing. He’s my brother. I would do anything for him.”
“Is that part of what she planned?”
Sam didn’t know what Marin had planned, or why she had used Sam to connect to Tray. There was no question that she had been used, just as there was no question that Tray had been used. Neither of them had known the truth about the other, which made it all the worse.
Tray didn’t deserve that, not from someone he thought cared about him.
Though from everything Sam had seen, Marin did care about Tray. She’d made a point of helping him, getting to him in a way that allowed him safety. She never put him in a dangerous position, not as she willingly did with Sam.
“It doesn’t matter,” Sam said.
“It doesn’t matter because it doesn’t change your opinion, or doesn’t matter because it’s happened? Or does it no longer matter because you’ve moved on?”
“It doesn’t matter,” she said again. “Besides, I don’t even know where he is. Since I’ve learned of what happened, I’ve lost track of him. I’ve searched, but haven’t managed to find him.” That bothered her more than anything else. “And it sounds like Elaine is looking for him.”
“What would you say to Trayson if you were to see him?” the physicker asked.
Sam sighed. She’d thought about what she would say to her brother, and how much to tell him, but every answer that came to mind felt wrong. She couldn’t tell him about the way Marin had used him, not without admitting that their relationship was not real. She thought that he would react the same way she had, and that he would want to remain connected to her, but what if Tray didn’t want that?
What if he would use it as an excuse to separate from her? He’d felt oppressed by her, and though she’d only intended to help him, to protect him as best she could, she had driven him away. With his increasing size from his Theln bloodline, she had to admit that he probably didn’t need her protection. Even if she had augmentations, she might not be able to do much to help him anyway.
“I would tell him how much he means to me,” Sam decided. That seemed the best answer. After all, wasn’t that all that mattered? Tray deserved that much from her.
“Tell me about your brother.”
“What’s there to tell? I imagine he’s much like any other brother.”
“Yet from all reports, you have a particularly close relationship with him. Is that not a fair assessment?”
“We’ve been close. When you think you’ve lost your parents, it brings siblings together.”
“And Trayson believes that he lost his mother as well, doesn’t he?”
Sam swallowed. Thinking of it always gave her a lump in the back of her throat, one that was uncomfortable, and unpleasant, and left her feeling like there was nothing she could do to keep from losing him. “We both thought we lost our mother.”
“But in reality, his mother was there with him the whole time, and he didn’t know it. How will he react when he learns the truth about Marin? When he learns that his own mother betrayed him?”
That was the question Sam knew least how to answer. Not only would Tray learn that his mother still lived, and that they did not share the same mother, but he’d also learn that his mother had been there all along, hidden in plain sight, keeping an eye on him and keeping him safe, but also using him for her own needs.
Her using Tray was different, though. If she’d used Sam because she was angry at Elaine, there was a certain sensibility to it. But Marin had used Tray for a very different purpose. Maybe it had been because she thought to protect him by bringing him close to someone she suspected would have Kaver blood, but maybe there was another reason to it.
Could Marin have feared something happening to Tray if he were discovered? Could she have sought to conceal his Theln connection by keeping him close to Sam?
Short of finding Marin and asking her, Sam doubted she would get those answers.
“I don’t know how he’ll react,” she finally said.
The physicker made another note in her journal, leaving Sam wondering what observations she’d made. With Alec, he would let her read what he’d documented. He had such a keen eye that she had appreciated the opportunity to see what observations he might make. There was rarely anything she could add to them, but every so often, she could. She was always pleased with herself when she managed to add to what he’d observed. She doubted this physicker would allow her the same liberties with her notes.
“I like to think that Tray will understand what was done. I like to think that he won’t react with anger.”
“You worry about his reaction to Marin?”
“Not Marin, but me. I don’t know how he will take it.”
“Why do you fear violence?”
“Because of who he is. What he is.”
“And what is that?”
She considered the physicker for a moment, noting the thick the jowls and the curious intensity in her eyes. How much should Sam trust this woman? She knew very little about the physicker and hadn’t been able to reach Alec at the university in several days. She suspected Alec knew this master, but maybe he didn’t. From what Alec had shared, the masters took turns instructing, but not all worked with the entry-level students. Maybe this woman didn’t work with students at Alec’s level.
It was difficult for her to find trust. She wanted to, but now, more than ever, she struggled with it. How could she trust these people that she didn’t know when she had been lied to?
“He’s a young man,” Sam answered. “He’s still trying to understand where he fits in the world. He’s often rebelled against my desire to help him, which has gotten him into trouble in the past.”
“Such as when he was imprisoned?”
“That would be a good example.” But Tray hadn’t been the one rebelling then. That had been her taking Marin’s assignment. Tray had been caught by chance. An accident. And held because they had thought him a Theln sympathizer.
“That’s when you first came to the notice of the princess, I believe.”
“It wasn’t intentional. I was trying to find a way to reach Tray.”
“You thought that you could reach your brother and break him out of prison?” the physicker asked, cocking a brow up as she did. The movement created a rippling effect on her face, and the fat shifted amusingly.
“I was willing to do whatever was necessary to help him. You know what they do to thieves.”
“I thought you said your brother wasn’t a thief.”
“He’s not. But he was found helping me when I was doing something I probably shouldn’t have been. And they believed him a Theln sympathizer.” Would the physicker reveal any knowledge of the Thelns?
“Do you have a brother?” she asked the physicker.
The physicker shook her head. “No brother, but I have a sister. She’s a little older than I am. Why?”
“What would you do if her life was in danger?”
“I would pray for her,” she said.
Sam waited for her to laugh or make some sign that she was speaking in jest, but she didn’t. “Prayer won’t help in many situations. Sometimes, you have to take matters into your own hands.”
“In a situation like that—if my sister were foolish enough to find herself arrested—I doubt I would determine that risking my life to save her and risking ending up in prison alongside her would be the appropriate course of action.”
Sam met the physicker’s gaze and forced a smile. “I guess that’s where we differ,” she said. “When Tray was captured, I was willing to do whatever it took to free him. If that involved breaking into the prison and risking my life, I was more than happy to do it.”
The physicker studied her for a few moments, tapping the pen on her cheek, before turni
ng and making a few notes in her journal. The pen scratched along the surface, and Sam stared at her, wondering again what she was documenting, and what notes she made on the page.
After a while, the physicker looked up, an ink stain on her cheek. “Let’s talk a little more about your brother.”
Sam sighed but nodded. She wouldn’t refuse, not if this had a chance of helping, though she didn’t know exactly how it would. Maybe she would never get those memories back.
9
Following the Kaver
Sam kept her distance as she followed Elaine through the city. She moved quietly, staying to the rooftops, maintaining a position behind her so that Elaine wouldn’t realize she was being followed. Would her mother even notice?
They passed through a section of the city that Sam had never been in. It was a merchant section, and much like most of the merchant sections, massive estates occupied its center. Warehouses lined the waterfront, and barges stopped at them, loading and unloading before moving on.
For a moment, Sam thought that Elaine would stay here, but she didn’t. She moved on, heading toward an outer section.
As she went, Elaine turned quickly ahead of her, and Sam lost sight of her.
Kyza!
Here she thought she could keep up with Elaine, but the other woman was quick.
In the time that she’d been training with her—and others—she had struggled to keep up. It angered her that there might be more that she could do—more that she could be—that was hidden from her, stolen by what Marin had done. All Sam wanted was to have that part of her mind unlocked.
The Book of Maladies Boxset Page 57
