by C. S. Wilde
The Seraph stopped before them, his blue eyes shining with love and care. “Welcome.”
Ezra opened his mouth to speak, but the words failed him.
His awe only lasted a moment, however. “You’re a charlatan!” He bared his teeth at Jophiel. “How can you fake heavenly light on Earth? This is blasphemy!” Before Jophiel could reply, Ezra turned to Ava, his essence shooting anger and disappointment at her. “How could you be foolish enough to believe this lie?”
Jophiel watched him with an undecipherable expression. He then craned his neck left and peered at Ava. “You once asked me why I didn’t reveal myself to the Order.” He nodded at Ezra. “This is why. Ezraphael’s heart is fairly open to my revelation. He has felt my power, and yet he denies it.”
“Speak to me, charlatan! I’m standing right in front of you!” Ezra barked at Jophiel, his fists balled. “And you’re not a Seraph! The mere fact you’re here is proof. If a Seraph comes to Earth, he will shine as a thousand suns and destroy the entire planet.”
Jophiel scratched his white beard while observing Ezra. “As the Messenger, you receive sensations and ideas from the Gods, correct?” Ezra didn’t confirm or deny this, he simply stared at Jophiel with bloodthirsty fury. “Well then, we both know it’s not the Gods you spoke to, but the king of the first Heaven. And he’s been awfully quiet for the past few years, hasn’t he?”
Ezra chortled. “You’re not Jophiel. I would—”
“You prayed for me once.” He took one step forward. Ezra didn’t step back. “You asked for guidance because you loved someone underneath your ranking, and you feared declaring your feelings would bring the wrath of the Order upon her.” Ezra’s throat bobbed, but Jophiel kept speaking, almost as if his words were a series of attacks. “They wouldn’t harm you, of course. You’re a high angel, but she was a lower angel at the time. Practically defenseless, wasn’t she?”
Ezra shook his head, his lips quivering, but no denial came out.
“I told you to remember the source of your Goddess’ powers. The love for life. The love for others, which surpassed the love for oneself.” He shot Ava a sorrowful glance, then focused on Ezra again. “And so, you said nothing to that angel for the longest time. Until your desperation grew, fueled by a dark influence, and you gave her the sword of revelation. This way, she would certainly ascend and you could finally be together.”
Ava’s throat dried. She couldn’t tell if she was still breathing. “Is this true?”
Ezra’s entire body shook. “Forgive me, Ava. I … I was lost.”
Ava loved and hated him for sacrificing his feelings for her for so long. Maybe if he had told her before, things would’ve been different.
Heavens. An entire century …
Ezra might’ve done bad things under Talahel’s influence—such as killing Lothar or lying to her. But Ava hadn’t been near him to help; she hadn’t seen how much he’d needed her. Desperation had consumed the best angel she knew, and Ava only realized it when it was too late.
This was why she stood beside Ezra now. Why she had agreed to become his mate.
Guilt.
And from the rift, her beasts whispered, not only that.
“There’s nothing to be forgiven,” she said, cupping his cheek. “The past is gone, and we all make mistakes.”
“The light is strong in you, Ava,” Jophiel remarked.
Ezra’s attention snapped toward him, as if for a moment he had forgotten the Seraph was standing here. He dropped to the floor and bowed at Jophiel’s feet. “Mighty king of the first Heaven, I am your servant, so long I exist in your infinite Glory, the Gods—”
“That’s enough.” Jophiel’s thunderous voice boomed with a coating of love and kindness. “I’m not a God. Do not worship me like one, child.”
Ezra obeyed his command and promptly stood.
“Welcome to the Legion, Ezraphael Stormglow.” Jophiel rested both hands on his shoulders.
“Legion?” Ezra stuttered, then shook his head. “How can you even be standing here, my king? This is insane.”
“It’s a long story. One I’ll gladly—”
Ezra sniffed the air and stepped back. When he bared his teeth at some point beyond Jophiel, Ava realized a tinge of sulfur had spread through the room.
Behind Jophiel stood Jal. The demon watched them with a mocking grin.
His long obsidian hair was tied in a low ponytail, his chest bare. He wore black training pants, and by the amount of sweat on his chest, he’d been doing exactly that.
“Jal!” Ava ran to him and wrapped the demon in a tight hug, ignoring the stickiness of his skin.
“Angel girl, I stink like a possum.” His arms closed around her anyway.
“You always stink, demon,” she said, her eyes stinging with tears.
He laid a gentle hand atop her head. “Are those assholes at the Order treating you right?” He snarled at some point behind her, and Ava didn’t need to look back to know it had been at Ezra.
Her throat piled with words that refused to come out. Despair closed around Ava with a vengeance, and she let him go. “It’s been difficult. But we’re making progress.”
A lie. But she couldn’t bear to disappoint Jal.
“Nothing is easy nowadays.” He watched her for a moment. “He’s getting better, by the way.”
Ava skipped a breath—or maybe several. “Can I see him?”
Jal shot Jophiel a worried glance. “Later. Liam is with Archie now. His darkness can be unstable at times, and you’re a mighty trigger for him.” He snarled lowly when he focused on Ezra. “So is the Messenger.”
“I demand an explanation!” Ezra shouted from behind. “You harbor a demon! Jal of Jaipur, if I’m not mistaken.”
A hint of pride took over Jal, and an arrogant grin spread on his face. “You’ve heard of me, Messenger?”
“Your fame precedes you, creature.”
Ava turned back to see Ezra glaring at them.
“This demon saved Liam’s life,” she said. “He saved mine, too.”
Ezra chortled in disbelief. “You’re confused. This thing has clearly tainted a Seraph. He can’t be underestimated.”
“No.” She observed the wooden walls around her. “For the first time, I’m seeing clearly. This is how the Order should be.”
“I feared we might ask too much of you tonight, Messenger.” Jophiel clapped his hands. “If I were in your position, I’d react the same way. Which is why I requested the help of an old friend.”
A wooden door that blended perfectly with the timbered wall next to the right staircase opened, and Vera stepped into the room. She leaned on the doorframe, her arms crossed. “What a nice reunion.”
Ava gasped, unable to hold the elation that wafted from her in warm, jittery waves.
The old owl winked at her, then stepped toward Ezra. His lips moved but the words vanished before he could utter them.
“I’m seeing things,” he mumbled. “None of this makes sense.”
“I know.” Vera gave him her hand. She had never been the motherly type, but right now that’s exactly how she seemed. “Do you want to understand, or do you want to deny it? You can do both, Ezzie, and no one here will judge you.”
He considered this for a moment. When he stepped back, Ava’s heart tightened.
Ezra must’ve sensed her disappointment, because his attention snapped toward her. Slowly, his shoulders relaxed. “I want to understand.” He motioned to Vera. “If you and Ava believe this madness, then perhaps so should I.”
Vera showed him the room behind her, a silent request for Ezra to follow, although it had seemed more of an order. Vera rarely requested anything.
“I’ll catch up with you later,” Jophiel said. “Right now, I must discuss certain matters with Ava.”
Ezra took this news unhappily, that much was clear in his expression. Still, he told her, “You know where I am.”
Something warm and giddy filled her chest. Ezra worried for her
even when the world as he knew it had crumbled before him. The kindness and devotion in his core were magnificent.
As soon as he entered the room and Vera closed the door, Jophiel led Ava through the entrance below the balcony.
Jal waved goodbye before the door closed, then off they went.
They crossed the Legion’s dark wooden corridors which were filled with vampires and members of the Gray. They gathered in rooms where they read, talked, or watched TV. Some vampires fed on volunteering priests and priestesses, since legal blood supplies were hard to come by these days, leaving them little choice—especially for newborns who didn’t know how to hunt properly yet.
They were the easiest targets.
Some of the doors were closed, some half open to meetings and briefings. She found Lilith in a room yelling at a vampire, but before she could sense her presence, Ava had already hurried past the door.
Her heart drummed in her ears. If she were to work with the Legion, being close to that bloodsucker would prove to be a difficult task.
A thought flashed in her mind, stealing all her breath.
Had Lilith gotten close to Liam?
Gods, if she had, Ava would end her.
An angel with blue hair passed by them. Erudite Lichtwind? A friend of Justine’s, if Ava recalled correctly.
He walked with a lean vampire female dressed in jeans and a white shirt. They flirted with each other, their lust forming velvety clouds around them.
Ava found it sweet, if not heart-warming.
Jophiel leaned closer and pointed at the distancing backs of the angel and the vampire. “You see, that is the purpose of my Legion. Good creatures, no matter their origin, together for what’s best for mankind. Honor, love, kindness, they take different shapes; shapes that can be angelic or not.” His lips twitched with a veiled grin. “Surprising shapes, don’t you think?”
Ava was certain his words carried a double meaning but what it might be, she couldn’t tell.
“How do you know that they’re truly good?” she asked, her focus still on the distancing pair.
The principles at the Order were simpler: angels were good, humans were to be protected, In-Betweens must be controlled, and demons had to die.
“Our recruiting requirements are very strict.” Jophiel tapped his forehead, perhaps to indicate that those strict requirements were in his mind. “Things at the Legion aren’t as black and white as in the Order, but we don’t allow those without goodness within to enter or to find out about us.” He shrugged. “It has worked so far.”
The wooden walls gave place to gray-painted plaster and LED lights. Soon they were walking past the Legion’s many training rooms.
A long silence ensued between them until Ava had to break it. “Let me see him. He doesn’t need to know I’m here. I just—” Her voice broke. “I just need to see him.”
“In time.” Jophiel frowned at her quizzically. “You don’t want to hinder his recovery, do you?”
Of course not. She wanted what was best for Liam, always.
Oh, the Seraph was smart.
They passed one training room with four vampires who battled a couple of humans dressed in loose gray clothes.
The priests of the Gray moved swiftly, like river water or a breeze, their flannel clothing swooshing behind them.
Never in her hundred years had Ava seen humans move that way, more panthers than men and women.
“Remarkable, isn’t it?” Jophiel said.
It truly was.
He tapped her shoulder, drawing her attention to an empty training room on the left. As they went inside, the room’s padded floors sunk slightly underneath Ava’s boots.
“You have an affinity with Erudite essence, and I presume Warrior essence,” Jophiel said as he placed himself in front of her. “I want to know how far both go, if you’ll allow me.”
She frowned. “You mean I could potentially turn into a Virtue and an Archangel?”
“Indeed.”
Ava chortled. “That’s impossible.”
“Is it?” That was his only reply.
She noticed thick concrete squares at the back of the room, at least ten of them, piling atop one another to shape a small pyramid.
“No, no, no.” She swallowed. “I can never lift them on my own. Or with my mind.”
She didn’t have an Archangel’s strength or a Virtue’s telekinesis.
The Seraph shrugged. “Regardless, you will try.”
Heavens, this would not end well.
To say that her training had been frustrating was a kindness. Ava had stared at the rocks fiercely, but her pitiful telekinesis only made them shake slightly.
Her head hurt and throbbed. Actually, her entire body felt as if it was made of shattering glass covered in ever-lengthening cracks—the price of simply trying to use a power that wasn’t native to her essence.
A high cost for no return. The damned blocks hadn’t moved an inch.
The silence didn’t help. It reminded Ava that she had failed Liam, and that she was failing the In-Betweens and the Order by allowing Talahel to walk free. That she was failing Ezra too, because he loved her and she didn’t love him back.
The light and the dark stirred inside her the way the ocean thrashes in a storm, a reflection of her own torments.
In a flash, her wings materialized behind her, flapping without any coordination.
“Let’s try something else.” Jophiel nodded at her wings. “Let’s make them follow your commands.”
“I’ve been trying for weeks,” Ava grumbled.
“Well, you haven’t tried it with me.” Ava felt him piercing through her ivory mental wall as if it was made of paper.
She closed her eyes and looked within. In her essence’s void, Jophiel pointed to the rift inside her. The home of her beasts.
“You’re ignoring them,” he said. “It’s why you can’t move the rocks and why you can’t fly. You’re afraid to set them free.”
Ava hated that he spoke truths she didn’t want to face.
“If I free them, how am I supposed to control them?”
“You don’t.” He shrugged. “You’re not just light anymore. You’re both, and they are you. It stopped being about control a while ago. Now it’s about adaptation.”
She opened her eyes and watched the training room with worry. “I don’t know how to—”
“Don’t worry. Just do.”
Apparently, she didn’t have much of a choice.
She pulled out a fraction of the powers inside her rift. Darkness and light flowed into her veins, dancing in streams that filled her body—no, her essence too. She watched the back of her arms glitter the way stars twinkle in the night sky.
“You’re still afraid, but I suppose that’s good enough for today,” Jophiel said. “Now, shove your wings into your light and your darkness. Give them equal weight, Ava. Balance. It’s all about balance.”
With a thought, she pushed her wings into her essence. Her body felt lighter, and when she glared behind her shoulders, her wings were gone.
Her skin stopped shining.
“Heavens!” A laugh burst from her throat. “Did you see that?”
Before Jophiel could answer, she commanded her wings to move the way she would her arms or legs. They appeared behind her in a golden flash.
Limbs. Her wings were simply limbs she needed to move.
Ava pushed them back into her essence, and they disappeared. Then she made them reappear again, only to see them flash golden and vanish into the air.
This might not be as good as flying, but it was definitely progress.
Jophiel smiled. “There you go. Be proud of your achievement. But you’re not here to control your wings, you’re here to move those blocks.” He pointed at them.
Jophiel could be a heartless and demanding teacher.
So back to the rocks it was.
Ava glared at the blocks for a long time, at some point even praying for them to move. The specks of li
ght and dark she had freed balanced inside both her essence and her body. Sometimes, they twinkled underneath her skin.
Still nothing.
Her head hurt and her skin was covered in sweat, but the stones didn’t move an inch.
In the past, Ava had managed to lift a wooden table while fighting with lower demons—she blamed it on adrenaline. But these cement blocks?
No chance in all the Heavens.
“Why did you become Ezraphael’s mate?” Jophiel blurted.
She blinked at him, not understanding where the question had come from.
Jophiel stared at her in a way that said she had all the time in the world, but he expected an answer.
“I needed to save him from evil,” she finally admitted. “It was for the good of the Order and himself. And a little bit for my own good.” She studied her boots. “He helped me so many times … it was only fair.”
“Yes, but you could’ve done all that without becoming his mate.”
She threw her arms up in frustration. “You said I had to be kind to him or the truth could push Ezra to Talahel’s side!”
“Yes, but I didn’t tell you to become his mate.”
An angry bark escaped her lips. She paced in a circle, wishing she could slap Jophiel in his smug face.
He flashed her an easy grin. “Oh, the dark in you is most amusing, Ava.”
“Delightful.” She crossed her arms. “How’s that magnanimous Seraph’s power working in your human body, by the way?”
A low blow. She knew it the moment the words left her mouth.
Before she could apologize, Jophiel raised his shoulders. “Can’t use them much without coming close to my final death, so it’s been hard. As you well know.”
If Jophiel could use his powers without consequence, this silent war would’ve been over a lot sooner. If he did, however, he might not only destroy himself but the entire city.
Not being able to help as much as he wanted was a cruel torture. Ava felt the pain and distress seeping from his essence. And she had poked his wound without thinking twice.
Thank her darkness for that.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“I know.” He watched her with complete kindness. “I’ll admit yours is not a simple situation, Ava. You went through so much, and you discovered a side of yourself you didn’t know existed. You’re not who you used to be and not who you’re supposed to be. You’re midway.” He caressed his beard as he always did when he was deep in thought. “If you and Liam were soulmates, your bond would’ve snapped in place by now. Why do you think this hasn’t happened yet?”
