by Holly Rayner
But what I didn’t understand was why he hadn’t rushed to fix our relationship as quickly as he’d rushed to rehire me. He’d practically ignored me, barely even making eye contact.
Was it because Jamie had been in the room, or because our time apart had been enlightening for him? Had he realized he didn’t like me as much as he’d thought?
I hit the brakes as I neared a red light, but my tires slipped on the wet asphalt. Before I could even tighten my grip on the wheel, my car righted itself and slowed to a stop. My heart thumped in my chest, useless adrenaline pouring through me from my very minor near-accident. I sighed, trying to dispel some of the tension in my chest, but as soon as my lips parted there was a deafening crunch of metal and I was thrown forward.
The seatbelt cut a hot line across my chest and my forehead slammed against the steering wheel. My foot was still pressed firmly down on the brake, but that hadn’t stopped my car from being pushed forward into the intersection. I felt foggy and slow, like every movement of my body took all of my energy. I turned around in my seat to look at the car behind me. It was a black sports car and I could see smoke coming from under the crunched hood.
I collapsed back against my seat, my chest heaving, exhausted from that little effort. Then, I turned to look through my driver’s side window, and by the time my brain registered the truck headed towards me, it was too late.
Everything went black.
Chapter 19
The dull ache between my eyebrows woke me up. It felt like someone had been pressing on my forehead with the end of a pencil for hours, or days. Pain radiated through my skull, down my neck, and into my back. Tension squeezed my shoulders and I wiggled my hips, trying to dispel some of the discomfort.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept so poorly. In fact, eyes still squeezed shut, I couldn’t remember much of anything. I had no idea how or when I’d fallen asleep. I’d been at the clinic, and then my mind drew a blank.
My eyelids were heavy, practically glued shut. I tried to lift them, and when that didn’t work, I tried to lift myself. I managed to get my shoulders off the bed before I felt a hand on my chest, pressing me back down.
“Hold on. Just try to relax.”
The voice registered in my foggy mind—the deep voice, the British accent—but I couldn’t make the connection. What was wrong with me? Why was someone standing next to my bed?
“Her heart rate is spiking,” the voice said.
“I’ll get a nurse,” said another. This voice I would remember anywhere. Greg. But why was he getting a nurse? Where was I?
“Jess, can you hear me?” the man with the British accent whispered in my ear, sending away all thoughts of anything else. I wished I could open my eyes and see his face, see whether he looked as good as he sounded. “It’s me, Spencer.”
Spencer. Spencer.
It felt like a valve in my mind had been opened, a cascade of memories flooding out and overwhelming me. Yes, of course. Spencer. I knew him. I loved him.
“You were in an accident, but you are okay,” he continued. There was a hitch in his breathing and a short pause. When he began talking again, his voice was thick. “You fractured your leg, but you’re okay.”
An accident? I searched my mind for the details, but nothing would come. The memories simply weren’t there to find, but I knew he was telling the truth. My right leg felt stiff and it was impossible to bend my knee. But I didn’t care. I just wanted Spencer to talk to me some more. I lifted my eyelids slowly, fighting the desire to let them fall closed again, to drift back into the restless sleep I’d been in.
Warm hands touched my wrist. “Hi, Jess. Can you hear me?”
I moved my lips, but nothing came out. My throat felt raw.
“Don’t say anything,” Spencer said, brushing a thumb across my cheek. “Greg went to get the nurse. They’ll be right in. Just relax.”
I turned towards the soothing sound of his voice, and watched him emerge from the blurry world my eyes were seeing, as if he’d stepped forward out of a fog. There were circles under his eyes and his dark hair was mussed, but he looked so beautiful. I slowly lifted my heavy arm to reach out towards him. Spencer caught it in mid-air and held it to his chest, cradling my fingers in his own.
“You’re safe,” he said, letting his eyes flutter closed as he squeezed my hand.
My memory faded in and out over the next couple hours. Nurses and doctors were in and out of the room, testing my reflexes, my range of motion, and my vision and hearing. Everything came back perfect. The only sign on my body of the accident I couldn’t remember was a purple goose egg in the middle of my forehead. My doctor told me it was a miracle I came out with nothing worse than a fracture.
Greg sat by my bed during all of it, asking questions I was still too exhausted to think of the answers to and helping me shuffle the four feet from my bed to the bathroom to shower. The doctor convinced him that it would be okay if he stood outside the door while I showered rather than directly outside the curtain. For that, I was grateful.
When I was freshly washed and back in bed, I began to feel more like myself. I could ask questions and try to piece together my day.
“Spencer and Jamie were a few cars behind you and they saw the whole thing,” Greg told me. “Someone rear-ended you and pushed your car into an intersection. Then…” He closed his eyes and shook his head for a moment. “And then, a second car struck your driver’s side door. Spencer thought you were dead, Jess. He didn’t think there was any way you could have survived.”
I reached out and grabbed his hand. “But I’m okay. You don’t have to worry. It’s just a fracture.”
“And thank God for that,” he said, squeezing my fingers right back. “I’m so sorry if I ever made you feel this way. When Spencer called and told me about your accident, I had never felt worse in my entire life. Sitting in this room, watching you take shallow breaths and seeing you hooked up to all of these machines made me appreciate for the first time what it must have been like for you when I was in the hospital.”
“Greg, it’s okay. It’s fine.”
We had never talked about his hospital stay, about how devastating it had been to see him helpless and strapped to a bed like that. For months, I’d just wanted him to acknowledge what he’d put me through. But now, seeing the pain in his eyes, the guilt in every line of his face, I just wanted him to forget it.
He shook his head. “It’s not fine. I’m so sorry, Jess. I’ll never do that again. Ever.”
I smiled at him and wrinkled my nose. “Good.”
A knock at the door drew our attention. I looked up and saw Jamie rush through the door and come to a sliding stop next to my bed. He handed me a bundle of pink peonies.
“These are for you,” he said, smiling with his front tooth missing.
“Hey, I’m the one who got in an accident. Why are you missing a tooth?”
“It came out while I was eating lunch.” Jamie beamed, giving me another good look at the gap. Then, he sobered. “Are you feeling better?”
“So much better,” I said with a smile. “Thank you for the flowers.”
“My dad bought them,” he said, stepping aside so I could see Spencer still standing near the doorway. He had his hands buried in his gray trouser pockets, his eyes studying the cast on my leg before moving up my body to land on my face.
His mouth lifted up in a half-smile. “How are you feeling?”
“Much better,” I said.
I wanted to look at him, but I found it hard to maintain eye contact. His blue eyes blazed, and I didn’t have the mental capabilities to unravel the mysteries written there.
Greg dropped my hand and stood up. “Hey, Jamie, do you want to go with me down to the gift shop? I saw a whole shelf of candy in there, and I am in desperate need of some sugar. My treat.”
Jamie bounced on his heels and looked up at his dad, eyes hopeful. Spencer nodded, and Jamie was through the door before I could say anything, Greg follo
wing after him almost as quickly. Spencer and I were alone.
He knelt down next to me and grabbed my hand in both of his. “How are you, really?”
I was shocked into silence by his tenderness. The last time I’d seen him, he had barely looked at me, but now, he was looking into me, studying me.
“They’ve checked for internal bleeding and everything like that?”
I nodded, and tried to answer, but I felt suddenly breathless. “Yeah, I think so. They keep telling me I’ll be okay. That I’m a miracle.”
The pain on Spencer’s face lessened; his eyes softened. He tipped his face forward so his forehead was pressed against the bundle of our fingers.
“You are a miracle.”
“Greg said you saw the accident?”
He lifted his head slowly and nodded, releasing a long breath as he did. “We were a few cars behind you, because Jamie’s school is close to your house. We saw you get rear-ended and immediately pulled over to go check on you, but by the time I stepped out of my car…I saw the truck coming at you. The imbecile wasn’t even paying attention.”
His jaw clenched and his neck turned a shade of red I’ve never seen before.
“Hey,” I said softly, pulling my hand out of his to massage a finger over his knuckles. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”
“It’s not okay,” he said, shaking his head. “I could have lost you.”
My entire body stiffened. I dared to let myself even hope, but if Spencer was worried about losing me, it meant he hadn’t lost me already. It meant I was someone to him.
“I heard you back at the clinic. When you said you wanted things to go back to the way they were before. I heard you,” he said, looking up at me with glassy eyes, his brows pulled together. “And I ignored it. I wasn’t ready. I felt so embarrassed for believing Brittany over you, for doubting you. I didn’t think I deserved you, and now, I’m even surer I don’t. But I realized that I don’t care.”
I bit my lower lip, but it didn’t stop my chin from quivering or my hands from shaking.
“I need you, Jess,” Spencer said, moving towards me, his face inches away from me. “I want you.”
A happy sob burst out of me, and then I threw myself forward, closing the gap between us. Our mouths pressed against one another. Spencer’s hand curled into my hair and I wrapped a hand around his neck. I heard a chorus of erratic beeping going off in the background, but I couldn’t care. I had Spencer. We had each other.
“Is everything okay in here?”
We broke apart and saw the nurse standing in the doorway. Her eyes widened and then she smiled, half-turning away from us.
“I’m sorry. Your monitor was going crazy at the nurse’s station.” She stopped and looked Spencer up and down, clearly admiring what she saw. “I guess I can understand why. As you were.”
When she left, I pulled Spencer close to me, our foreheads pressed together.
“I want you, too. If it isn’t obvious,” I said, gesturing to the collection of monitors behind me.
He laughed. “The monitor doesn’t lie.”
Greg and Jamie walked in, their arms full of licorice ropes, gummy worms, and chocolate bars.
“Were you two making the nurse blush?” Greg teased, dropping his candy at the end of my bed.
“I’m afraid so,” Spencer said, sitting down next to me and grabbing my hand.
Jamie unloaded his candy and then his eyes fell on his dad’s hand curled around mine. A smile spread across his face, and without saying a word, he walked around the bed and wrapped his small arms around the two of us. Spencer and I smiled to each other over the top of Jamie’s head, and then pulled him into a group hug.
Chapter 20
My cast would be on for another three weeks, but by then, winter would be fully upon the city and Jamie was desperate for what he kept referring to as a “family picnic” before it got too cold. So, I crutched my way almost a quarter-mile across the park until we laid a blanket down beneath a large oak tree and began unwrapping our sandwiches. I was tired and sweaty, but never happier to be with two of my favorite people.
After we finished eating, Jamie grabbed his kite and was running up and down a nearby hill trying to get it to fly, despite the fact it was the stillest day of the year.
“That’s never gonna fly,” I said, leaning over to rest my head against Spencer’s shoulder.
Spencer laughed. “Yeah, but it will wear him out. Maybe he’ll go to bed early tonight and we can watch one of those old Hollywood musicals you’ve been trying to get me to watch.”
I sat up and looked at him, eyes serious. “Don’t tease me, Hunt. Only say that if you really mean it.”
“I would never tease you about a musical,” he said, pulling me towards him and kissing my forehead.
The beginning of our relationship had been complicated, to say the least, but the weeks after my accident were simple. We spent as much time together as we could. Spencer told me I’d have a job at the clinic as soon as I was recovered enough from the accident to come back, and in the meantime, he drove me to all of my doctor’s appointments and questioned their judgment every step along the way. He was not the kind of doctor who could keep his opinion to himself, even when he was off-duty.
I was sorting through my musical collection in my head, trying to decide which one I would subject him to that evening, when he nudged me and pointed down towards the jogging path in front of us. There was a woman in leggings and a long-sleeved shirt stretching. It took me a few seconds to recognize the thick blond ponytail and the long, willowy limbs. It was Brittany.
As I was looking at her, she turned her head and met my eye. Surprise flickered across her face before she turned away and looked down at the ground.
“Have you talked to her since everything happened?” I asked. Spencer and I had mostly avoided the topic of the stolen medication. It wasn’t a sore topic between us, per se, but it wasn’t something we enjoyed reliving. It was nice to have it behind us.
“Not personally,” he said. “But I know she pled guilty and her nurse’s license has been revoked.”
“Should we say something?” I asked, feeling incredibly awkward.
Brittany had set me up and tried to ruin my life, but I still couldn’t help feeling bad that her life had fallen apart.
“It looks like we’re going to have to. She’s coming this way,” Spencer said, raising a hand in greeting.
She walked halfway up the hill with her head down, but as she neared the top, she looked up and smiled at us.
“Hi,” she said nervously, biting her lower lip.
“Hello, Brittany.” Spencer wrapped his arm a little more tightly around my shoulders, though it was probably imperceptible to Brittany.
She turned her eyes to me and nodded. I nodded back. It felt stiff and uncomfortable, but strangely friendly.
“I don’t want to bother you, but I’ve been working with a therapist, and we’ve been talking a lot about repentance.” She folded her hands in front of her, fingers twiddling around one another. “So, I’d like to apologize to both of you for the hurt I caused. I made a lot of mistakes and as much as I wish I could take them back, I also know they happened for a reason. I’ve learned a lot of great lessons from this situation that I will take with me.”
“I forgive you,” Spencer said. Then, he turned to me, eyebrow raised.
“I want to forgive you,” I began, “but if you don’t mind, can I ask why you did it? Why did you steal the medication in the first place?”
“I was trying to help my sister. She made some bad investments and was really short on money. I see now that I had a lot of other options, but at the time, selling the pills felt like the only thing I could do to help. It was foolish and disrespectful, but I really did think I’d be able to replace the pills before anyone noticed.” She paused and then looked up at me, her lips twisted into a nervous pucker. “And when I realized I was in over my head, I needed someone to blame.”
“I u
nderstand what it’s like to have a sibling in trouble,” I said.
Brittany pursed her lips. “It started out being for my sister, but by the end, I was looking out for myself. I blamed you, Jess, because I didn’t want to get caught, but also because I was jealous of how close you had become with Spencer after such a short time. I thought everything would be okay if I could get rid of you. I was stressed out and not thinking clearly. I’m truly sorry for the trouble I put you through.”
“Thanks for coming to apologize. It’s brave of you, and I appreciate it,” I said. Part of me still wanted to send Brittany away with a flick of my hand and tell her not to bother me ever again, but I knew that wouldn’t make me feel better in the long run. I needed to forgive Brittany for my own sake as much as I needed to do it for her. “And, I forgive you.”
She gave each of us a smile, took a deep breath as though she was relieved of a heavy burden, and then shrugged.
“Well, I don’t want to interrupt any more of your day. Thank you for listening to me, and take care.”
We watched her walk down the hill and instantly take off for her jog.
“Do you think she meant it?” Spencer asked.
I thought about it and then nodded. “I think so. Do you?”
“I do. Brittany has always been a nice person. I think this was a serious lapse in judgement.”
“I think you might be right.”
Spencer grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back on the blanket until we were both laying on our backs, staring up at the sun shining through the green canopy of leaves above us. I could hear Jamie whooping and running down the hill next to us, and I couldn’t help but think that everything has a way of working out, just as it’s supposed to.
Epilogue
