by A. R. Perry
Zari’s face lights up with a smile. “They’re going so good! Especially drama. I didn’t think I would enjoy it as much as I do. But there’s something about being on stage. Immersing yourself in another world. Like living out a book.”
“Sounds awesome.” I push off the counter. Might as well busy myself since we’ve hit the slow time. “When do I get to come watch you in action?”
Her grin widens. “You would come?”
“Of course.” Why wouldn’t I? I mean I wouldn’t go for anyone else so maybe she has a right to ask.
“Well, we have our first performance right before winter break. We’re doing A Christmas Carol.”
“Sounds very seasonal.” The door jingles and I groan. Can’t we have five minutes to ourselves?
This shift could not end soon enough. All I want to do is curl up in bed and sleep for ten hours. After yesterday with my mom then today, I’m drained.
I turn toward the door, intending to ask what the customer would like, when the words lodge in my throat.
Braden’s blue eyes meet mine. Not just meet, consume. His intense stare bordering on a glare is fixed solely on me. Heat burns up from my toes. I think I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.
“Stella,” his words are harsh, a growl. “Can I speak with you?”
“Hey, Braden,” Zari calls in her normal cheery tone. “You trying to steal my girl?”
His eyes don’t leave mine. “Yeah. For a minute.”
“Well, go ahead, Stell. You haven’t taken your ten yet. I think I can manage.” Her hand waves at the front and the whole three people sitting at the tables.
Nausea makes speaking difficult. The universe needs to chill. I can’t take another showdown with Michelle at school and Braden is no better. Can’t he see that no one wants us to mingle? Jesse has upped his daily dose of dickheadness. My mother is all over me. Michelle can’t wait for me to screw up.
I can’t take all the pressure.
With that in mind, I shake my head. “It’s too early for my ten.”
Right as the words leave my mouth, Shredder pops her head out of the back. “Stella, take your ten.”
Come. On. Seriously? Why does the universe hate me? What on God’s green Earth did I do to deserve this?
Braden’s lips tip up the slightest bit before motioning to the door with his head.
Well, since there’s no escape…I yank off my apron, then toss it on the counter as I circle around to the front. Braden is halfway to the door. Bet I could duck in the back before he notices. Then again, nothing is stopping him from siccing Zari on me and dragging me out.
The cold air bites at my cheeks as I step outside. It creates the weirdest sensation since I’m flushed with nerves and irritation.
“What do you need right this very second?” I snap once we’ve rounded the corner and are loitering by the dumpsters.
A fitting place to talk since my life is one big dumpster fire as of late.
Braden rubs a hand down his face before circling to squeeze his neck. “What did Michelle say to you today?”
Michelle. Michelle. God for someone who dumped her, he seems pretty obsessed.
“Why does it matter?”
“It just does!” His voice rises with anger. Seeming to catch himself, he takes a step backward and takes a deep breath. “She seemed like she was hassling you.”
“Oh, so you care now all of a sudden?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
I can’t help but roll my eyes. Dude has been going to my school for over two years and now suddenly he’s taken a deep interest in me. I call shenanigans.
“I have to get back inside.”
“Your break isn’t over.”
“But this conversation is.” I turn to leave, but Braden stops me with a gentle hand on my wrist. I don’t know if it’s the shock of him touching me or the jolt that races up my arm only to crash into my chest, but I stop dead in my tracks.
“If she’s hassling you…just tell me. I’ll fix it.”
Yeah. Okay. He’s the one who got me into this whole damn thing.
“Everything is fine.” I flick my head over my shoulder and try to give him a smile, but it falls flat.
“Then I’ll see you tomorrow after school?”
Could this day get any worse?
“Actually…I can’t.” This time I spin to face him.
“Why not?”
Here goes. “My mom doesn’t want me tutoring anymore. Says it’s messing with my own academics.”
“So…that’s it?”
“Guess so.”
“This isn’t…” He takes a step closer, lowing his voice. “This isn’t about the weird moment in the kitchen? ‘Cause I don’t really know what came over me.” Braden’s eyebrows come together as his eyes search my face. Then he shocks the hell out of me by eliminating all distance between us and capturing my cheeks in his hands. “No. That’s a lie. I know exactly what came over me. I like you, Stella. And you’re one difficult woman to pin down. So hard to read.”
His thumb trails over one of my cheekbones. “But I swear sometimes you look at me and I see it. I see you feel the same way I do. But then you run away or ditch me at a restaurant. Or the worst yet, leave me hanging when I was seconds away from what I know will be the best kiss of my life.”
My mouth pops open with an audible sound that would be embarrassing if I wasn’t so frazzled. None of this makes any sense.
“So tell me now. Am I crazy or do you feel the same way?”
No. Definitely not. Maybe. Shit. I don’t know. One of his hands sinks into my hair, cradling the back of my head as I peer up at him.
“Why?” Well, okay, at least it’s words.
“Why do I want to know?” His laugh blows across my face and for a few moments all I can smell is mint.
“No. Why do you like me?”
He laughs again. “Is this an essay question? Because I didn’t come prepared for that.”
“No. It’s an easy question.”
“Then the easiest answer is, why wouldn’t I like you?”
Uhh, because I’m snarky and fat and closed-off and prickly and—
“I’m going to kiss you now…if that’s okay?”
Air ceases to enter my lungs. Absolutely no air. I make a weird squeaky noise that only kicks up Braden’s smile another notch making his eyes gleam in the afternoon light.
He licks his lips. My heart does a somersault. He leans in. My palms get so sweaty the cold air catches on them, sending goose bumps up my arms. He goes out of focus and I think for a second I might pass out from lack of oxygen.
Wasn’t I supposed to be telling him I can’t hang out anymore? Don’t I have some rule about not dating?
I can feel the heat from his mouth. It creates this weird electric pull that for the life of me I can’t resist. Right as I think this is it, the back door to the café swings open, ricocheting off the wall with such force, my floppy heart tries to make an escape through my mouth.
Braden and I jump apart. My gaze shoots to the door where Zari is hovering, a trash bag dangling from each hand. Her brown eyes go wide as saucers as her head twitches back and forth so she can take us both in.
Lord knows how I look. If it’s anything close to what my insides feel like, then I must resemble a pile of goo on the cement.
To Braden’s credit, he recovers like a champ. “Got that eyelash.” He holds his pointer finger up in front of my face. “Make a wish.”
I blow a puff of air at the nonexistent eyelash. His eyebrow arches as a smirk spreads across his face. But the smirk is just for me because when he turns to Zari, his face is back to its normal I-didn’t-almost-just-kiss-Stella self.
“Hey, Zari. Thanks for your help, Stella.”
The moment Braden rounds the corner Zari drops the bags of trash on the ground. “What the hell was that?”
Good freaking question.
I think a fuse in my brain shorted because I just st
and there and stare. Braden likes me. He likes me. He. Likes. Me. It makes no damn sense. Why would he go from gorgeous cheerleaders to me? I rack my brain trying to recall all our interactions. Should have picked up on something before the weird almost-kiss Saturday?
But honestly, I come up blank. I figured he was being nice. Thanking me for helping him. Well okay, that’s not true, I totally thought he was playing me in some sick game with Jesse. Something that is still on the table. Because again, why would Braden like me?
“Stell?” My attention focuses on Zari who is still staring at me as if I’ve up and grown three heads.
“The wind blew something in my eye.” I stalk toward her, trying to shake the weird fog that’s settled over my brain.
Her arm shoots out, blocking my path. “He looked like he was about to kiss you.”
My mouth opens, prepared to spit out another lie when Shredder’s annoying-ass voice breaks through the silence.
“Zari! Stella! We have customers.”
I’ve never been happier to hear her voice.
Ever spend the entire night lying awake replaying the same moment over and over? This has happened to me twice. Once with Jesse and the moment he crushed my heart and now with Braden and the moment he…tried to steal mine? I’m still not clear on the whole thing.
By morning I’m convinced I misheard him. There’s no way he told me he liked me. No way he was seconds away from kissing me. An aberration. A hallucination. Call it whatever, but it had to be a figment of my imagination.
My mom worked the early shift, thank God, so I pass on the gag-worthy outfit she laid out—black-and-blue checkered skinny jeans and an oversize cream sweater. You know what, scratch that, the jeans are cute.
I pair them with a black V-neck T-shirt and my favorite pleather jacket and black Vans. After shoving the sweater in my backpack in case she’s home when I get home, I pop into the kitchen for a gourmet meal of cold Pop-Tarts I eat on the walk to the bus.
Winter is almost here, that’s for sure. If the snow comes early, it’s going to make the treks to the bus stop so much more uncomfortable for a longer period. December to February, I can do. October to spring…not so much.
Too bad I don’t have enough saved for a beater car.
The moment my butt hits the very cold metal bench at the stop, a silver SUV rolls up to the curb.
Yeah, I can’t hide my smile even if I wanted to. Which I should because Braden is in my neighborhood. The same neighborhood that Janelle lives in. And the minion of the spawn of Satan could roll through at any time.
“Hop in,” Braden calls through the rolled down passenger window.
“Are you a car service now?” I shout, but keep my tush planted in the seat.
A large white to-go cup comes into view. I’ve never moved faster. I jump up and rip open the door in the same move. Braden can’t contain his smile as I hop inside and dump my backpack on the floorboard.
In case you were wondering, I am 100 percent motivated by caffeine.
He hands over the cup. “I hope I got it right. Seven shots of espresso over dark roast with a dash of warmed soy milk, two pumps of vanilla, one pump of mocha and a partridge in a pear tree.” He grins to himself as he pulls away from the curb.
I’m amazed he remembered the ingredients after I made it for him the other day. After the first sip I can tell he got it perfect. So right. I groan and take another sip, the warm goodness helping to cut through the chill in my bones.
“So what are you doing round these parts?” I ask to fill the silence because if I don’t I’ll ask the one question I swore not to. The did-you-really almost-kiss-me question.
“Well, you said something that worried me yesterday.” He makes a left turn on the main road. “You said you couldn’t tutor me anymore. Figured if I bribed you with coffee you might tell me what the hell happened over twenty-four hours. All of a sudden your mom doesn’t agree with you tutoring me?” His eyes flick to me before refocusing on the road.
She thinks you’re trouble and that you’ll pull a Jesse and mess up the rest of my senior year after screwing me over. That or impregnate me.
“She thinks my grades are slipping.”
“Are they?”
“No, but my attendance record is.”
Braden nods, chewing on his lower lip as he veers onto the ramp for 215 headed for the school.
“So…no changing her mind?”
“Afraid not.”
He nods again. “Well, that sucks.” He lets out a bitter laugh as he rubs a hand on the back of his neck. “For the first time in a long time my English grade is above average. I don’t stress and sweat and have a giant panic attack before the quizzes. Your quick reference flash cards have been a giant help.”
My mom is the worst sometimes. “I’m sorry. I wish I could change her mind but she already plans on talking to Mrs. Rivera.”
“Well, we are still lab partners. What if we tell her we’re studying that? If we do it at your house, she won’t—”
“No!” The sharp and quickly spoken word rushes out of my mouth before I can stop it.
Braden shoots me a funny look. “What’s up? Does she not let people come over?” His eyes widen. “Oh shit, did you tell her about—”
“No. She doesn’t know anything about that and she never will.” I take a huge gulp of the scalding coffee as I try to devise a reason he can’t come over while also chastising myself for how harsh that sounded. Like I’m hiding him. But I guess, in a way, I am.
Braden stops at the red light in front of the school. “Does she have a thing about you dating? Because if so, it kind of puts a damper on me asking you to homecoming.”
My mouth drops open. Seriously, I think I feel it hit my lap. “You…what?”
“Homecoming.” The light turns green, forcing Braden to turn away from me “You know, the cheesy dance that people, specifically those in the court, take way too seriously.”
“And…you…want to take…me?” The words have trouble finding their way out. I’m also having a hard time breathing because I had done such a fantastic job convincing myself that I misunderstood him yesterday.
“Was my plan, yeah.” Braden parks in a secluded spot.
“I didn’t plan on going.” I tug up my backpack, trying my best not to spill my coffee. But I’m shaking and flustered and doing a crap job of keeping it together.
Braden likes me. He wants to go to homecoming with me, which would announce to everyone that he likes me. My mom won’t have any of it. And Michelle will slit my throat if she catches even a whiff of this.
“Oh,” his words drip with disappointment, but he recovers in a snap as he leans across the center console into my personal space. “What if we skip it? Have a movie night or something?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Don’t give me a firm answer now. Think about it. You have a couple of days to decide.”
Is it truth time? I think it’s truth time.
“My mom doesn’t let me date. And Michelle…well she pretty much promised to murder me socially if she ever so much as saw me talking to you again.”
“Let me handle Michelle. And as far as your mom…” He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, letting his finger trial across my jawline. “Give me one chance to change her mind. Parents love me.”
I have to fight for oxygen because Braden’s hand is still on my face and he’s close enough to smell mint on his breath, but I get the words out. “My mom isn’t easily swayed. You think I’m stubborn? I got it from the best.”
“Give me one chance. Today after school. We can study at your place.”
Am I nodding? I think I just nodded. Judging from the smile on Braden’s face I’m almost positive I am.
“Meet me here? Same time we usually do for tutoring.”
“Sure.” I hop out of the SUV first as Braden reaches into the back seat for his bag. We can’t arrive together, so I rush toward the front steps where I normally enter
.
It isn’t until I see Devon waiting for me that reality hits. I freaking agreed for Braden to come over and meet my mom. My mom who just went on a rampage about me not dating and not hanging around boys. Specifically him.
This should be interesting.
The day could not go by any slower. As if it slowed down with the intention of making me drop dead from stress.
Reality struck during my walk from the parking lot. Panic hit between first and second periods after having a delightful run-in with Jesse who mentioned something negative about my weight. Don’t know what. Wasn’t paying attention. A calm took over during second, because whatever. Fear came back at the end of third. My walk to the cafeteria involved a full-blown panic attack that kinda, sorta abated when Michelle stayed out of my hair and at her table. Calm took over during bio because, well, Braden. Annoyance trumped that during gym while Devon wouldn’t stop going on and on about all the gossip leading up to homecoming.
By the time I pushed through the door and headed to the parking lot to meet Braden, I’m drained. Just the idea of what I’m about to do has brought me to this point. I have no idea if I’ll actually follow through with it.
And do I even want to? Is Braden worth throwing my life up in the air for?
He’s leaning against his car, a giant smile on his face as I walk toward him. My heart dances in a freaking conga line in my chest, giving its answer. But my brain, the damn thing still isn’t sure.
Can’t we all get along?
“Hey.” Braden takes my backpack and tosses it into the back seat with his. “What time will your mom be home?”
“Now.” I round the front, headed for the passenger side.
For a moment he looks scared, but by the time he climbs behind the wheel he’s shaken it off.
“So, is there anything I can pick up on the way that will sway her in my direction? Does she drink the same heart attack-inducing coffee you do?”
“Nah. She hates that I drink it.” I flip down the visor and do a check, making sure I don’t look as green as I feel. Nope. Just the same old pasty skin. “Besides, the only thing she’ll want from you is for you to stay away from me.”
