“Why?” she asked.
He replayed their conversation and still wasn’t sure what she was asking him. “Why what?”
“Why didn’t you just try to kill me?”
Sighing, he rested his forehead against hers, all the while desperately trying to ignore the ache in his balls and the pounding in his dick.
“I never take a job without investigating it first.” He’d planned to have his way with her first and talk after, but he could adjust. He could also multitask. He sat back on his heels, slid his hands under her sweater, and slowly tugged it over her torso. “Once one of us takes a job, we don’t stop until it’s done. Mistakes are not an option.”
Even with all their caution, the occasional one did occur. When it did, they made certain the person who hired them paid…violently and in blood. It had cut down on the number of people trying to hire them to do their dirty work, but they didn’t mind. There were always plenty in need of dying.
She swallowed heavily and nodded her understanding.
“Rise up.” He kept tugging the sweater over her head. She gave a muffled laugh when the material covered her face. When she sat up, he whisked it away. He was smart enough to remove the long-sleeved shirt beneath before she clued in to what he’d done.
Preternatural speed did have its benefits.
Wearing only her bra, she made his mouth water and his pulse pound. The lacy confection clung to her breasts, cradling them like a second skin.
“From the very first, you were more than another job.” He reached beneath her, found the hooks, and undid them. Then he pulled the garment off and tossed it aside.
A low growl welled up from deep inside him. He pressed his hands against her stomach and slid them upward until they were just beneath her breasts, the edge of his fingers just brushing against them.
“You were saying.” Her husky voice stirred the animal inside him. This was his mate, his woman.
Sweating now, he reached a hand over his shoulder, grabbed a handful of shirt, and dragged it off.
Her eyes locked onto his chest. He fought the urge to puff it out.
What had he been saying? He had to think, not easy with so much creamy skin exposed. Oh yeah. “You’re special.”
That put a pensive expression on her face. “Is it the sex?” she asked.
“What?”
She waved at her partially nude body. “You feel an emotional attachment because we’re having it.”
It would be easy just to agree with her. It would also be wrong. He ignored the way his dick was trying to burst forth from his jeans and leaned down until his lips were barely a fraction away from hers.
“It only complicated things.” He reached for her hand and placed it over his pounding heart. “I don’t know why, but from the first moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were special. I knew you were mine.”
Did that sound stalkerish? Maybe, but he couldn’t take it back. Shit, maybe he’d gone too far. He was a modern man. Or he could be. Was trying to be.
She spread her fingers over his chest. Her hands were pure magic. “I knew you were special, too. I had no idea how much.”
Did she mean his hybrid status or because they’d had sex? Fuck, he was overthinking this. Leaning down, he captured her mouth.
He kissed her, a man starved for a lifetime who’d finally discovered what he needed to sustain him. And maybe he had. Something about Cassie filled the dark places inside him with light, completed him in ways he hadn’t realized were lacking.
And she kissed him back, tangling her fingers in his hair, not backing down from his rampant desire. The slight sting in his scalp made him chuff with pleasure.
He yearned to bite her, to take some of her blood into him so he’d always know where to find her, would never be without a part of her inside him.
Bloodlust surged to the fore.
He pulled back and lowered his head, panting heavily.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Her voice sounded as though it was coming from far away even though she was right in front of him. “Alexei?”
Knowing she’d see his red eyes and razor-sharp fangs, he raised his head.
…
Don’t freak out.
That would certainly ruin the mood. He wasn’t shifting into a polar. This was the other side of him coming out.
“You’re a hybrid.” Well, duh. That was more than obvious. And he’d told her that already. He lowered his head, but not before she’d detected a glimpse of anguish and shame.
He started to pull away. Did he think she’d let him leave?
Oh, that’s not happening.
She wrapped her arms and legs around him, clinging tight. It was shameless on her part, since he’d never use his strength against her. All was fair in love and war.
Did she love him?
Maybe.
All she knew for sure was that he was hurting, and she could help.
For all his physical size, intellect, and preternatural attributes, he was a sensitive soul.
He stayed where he was, head still down as he drew in huge breaths. Time passed as he brought himself back under control. When he raised his head, his eyes were back to normal.
“I guess we talk first.”
Ready to grab him again, if necessary, she released him. “If you want.”
He rolled to the side and pulled the chocolaty-brown comforter over her, covering her partial nudity.
She’d much prefer to be heating up the sheets, but this wasn’t something they could brush under the rug and pretend never happened. It was too huge.
Scooting up until the headboard was behind her, she leaned against it. “What happened?”
Alexei settled on the edge of the bed, his back to her. It bothered her that he wouldn’t look at her. “I was born a shifter. It was just my parents and me and my younger brother, Ivan.”
Not wanting to do anything that might distract him or make him stop, she remained very still and listened.
He released a huge breath, tilted back his head, and stared at the ceiling. “It was a good life. A simple one. We lived and traveled and hunted.” Lost in the past, he continued his tale. “We were nomads, but plenty were back then. My father would sometimes sell the skins from the animals we hunted for money or trade them for supplies.
“I’d decided I was grown up. A man. I planned to go on a solo hunt, to prove myself.”
This wasn’t going to be good.
“I snuck out one night while everyone else was sleeping to get an early start. I was going to hunt a walrus.” His laugh was tinged with both sadness and amusement.
It was so easy to picture a younger Alexei, all excited to prove himself. Had she ever been that young? It seemed that she’d come into being already old. Or maybe the memories were simply lost to time.
“Those bastards are tough. I figured if I could take one down, I’d show my father I was ready to make my way in the world and maybe find a mate.”
With every species, there came a time when the young males broke from the family unit and made their own way, started a family.
She swallowed back the dozens of questions on the tip of her tongue, sensing quiet would yield her more answers.
“I never made it that far. I had to pass a settlement along the way. We’d traded with the locals for years. They knew us, knew we were different, but it didn’t seem to bother them.”
Cassie nodded to herself. Most indigenous cultures accepted that there was more to the world than they understood with their normal senses and worked to be in harmony with it. Unlike the white man whose goal was to conquer everything in his path.
Not much had changed since the dawn of time.
“There was something going on. I heard screams and went to investigate. I saw him then.” Alexei finally turned, and the pain etched on h
is face was more than she could stand.
Giving in to the need to offer comfort, she launched herself at him. He opened her arms and pulled her against him, holding her so tight her bones threatened to crack under the enormous pressure.
“You don’t have to keep going.” This was tearing him apart. She understood how an event could stay with you, color every part of your life, the pain as fresh as if it had happened only yesterday instead of so many years ago.
“Yeah, I do.” He eased his hold but didn’t release her. “A vampire was standing over a little girl, no more than ten. Her father was already dead. Her mother was paralyzed with fear. I didn’t think. I just shifted. He tossed the girl aside. I turned and ran, hoping he’d follow me. It was only later that I learned shifter blood is more potent to a vamp. I didn’t know that then.”
She curled her arms and legs around him. “It’s okay.”
As though he didn’t hear her, he kept on talking. “I ran out onto the snow, away from the settlement. I was fast but he was so much faster. His name was Andre and he told me he was five hundred years old.”
Shit. With most creatures, the older they were, the more powerful they became. Not always, but as a general rule. “You fought?”
Alexei gave a sad laugh. “Not really. I tried. But I was only twenty. All I could think about was the little girl. Her dead father. Her frightened mother. So much blood and death.”
He lowered his head and buried it against her shoulder.
The scene was vividly alive for her. She swallowed back the bile in her throat as her own memories threatened to swamp her. The metallic scent of blood coated her nostrils.
“He ripped into my throat and started to feed, drinking until I was weak. Then he gloated. Told me he was going to go back to the village when he was done with me. That he was going to finish off the girl and her mother. Then the rest of the people.”
She shuddered and gripped him tight. It hadn’t happened that way. Unlike her, he’d saved some of them.
“I managed to ask him why. Do you know what he told me?”
“What?”
“Because he could. No one could stop him. He was a god.”
She’d seen and heard it so many times before. Some people got power and decided they were better than everyone else. But in the end, none were different—pauper or king, holy man or heretic, human or paranormal. They all eventually answered Death’s call.
In a quiet moment near the beginning of her existence, he’d told her that even he would someday face his own demise. Some creatures were long-lived, but there was no escape for anyone. Not even so-called immortals.
“He made you angry.” Cassie understood her bear well. The idea of those he thought of as his being harmed would have driven him to do something.
“Yes.” He’d been talkative up until now. She hoped he didn’t clam up and go back to talking in one-word or short sentences.
“What happened?” She stroked her hand up and down his back, wishing she could take away the painful memories. But it was those things that made him who he was. She would never rob him of that. Even if it would make her feel better.
He held up one of his hands. It was broad and large. “I manifested my claws. And while he was glutted on my blood, I ripped out his heart and ate it.”
Gruesome but apt.
“I was weak. I needed blood. I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“You drank his blood?”
“Yes. Then I chopped off his head with my claws. His body shriveled up and disintegrated, turning to ash.”
“Then what?”
“I used snow to clean myself off and went back to the village. All the people that were still alive were there. I’d known them my whole life, but they didn’t welcome me. They held torches and shouted at me, cursing me to be gone.”
Those ungrateful people.
Her nails dug into his biceps as she struggled to tamp down the whirlwind of fury that whipped around inside her. She wanted to go back in time and really give those villagers something to be afraid of, even as she understood their reaction. His return meant he’d defeated the vampire, which made him dangerous.
“I went home and didn’t tell anyone. Not at first. I knew I’d have to eventually, before my father traded with the locals again. Then I began to change.”
She ran her fingers through his hair, loving how it was so thick and soft. “How did you change?” He flinched, even though she’d kept her tone light. His incisors extended and his eyes flashed red.
“I hungered for more than just food.”
“Blood?” She swallowed hard, trying to keep her heart rate even, but it was impossible. The pulse in her neck fluttered wildly.
“I didn’t need that much, and I didn’t need it often, but I did need it. I hid the craving at first, making do with animal blood.”
“But it didn’t satisfy.” It couldn’t. Each species had certain requirements that had to be met in order to live.
“No.”
“Alexei.” She waited until she had his full attention. “What did you do? Because I know you didn’t kill anyone.” It wasn’t in him. Not that he wasn’t dangerous, but he wouldn’t indiscriminately hurt people. It wasn’t in him.
“I almost took the life of a missionary. When he realized what I was, he tried to cast out the demon inside me. I could have told him it was too late for that.”
“You don’t have a demon inside you. Demons fall under Lucifer’s dominion. If you’d been a demon, the Lord of Hell would have had one of his bounty hunters drag you back there years ago.”
“Good to know.” His pain and suffering was mirrored on his face. “No, what I am is worse. I finally broke down and confessed everything to my parents. They were upset, but I felt better after.”
This was so not going to end well.
“I was exhausted. Crashed on my bed and slept long and hard. When I woke, they were gone.”
“Gone.”
“Packed up everything and left.”
His family had abandoned him. Her heart threatened to burst inside her chest. How could they? “I’m so sorry.”
“No, they were right to do so. They couldn’t trust me. I couldn’t trust me. I kept on the move, made my way down to Canada and the lower States. Lots of open land back in those days. But the need for blood eventually forced me to find a settlement.
“I’m a monster. I don’t know what I am. A bear vamp, a bearpire, a hybrid. I’m fast and I can be out in sunlight, unlike normal vamps. Most shifters live a normal lifespan, maybe one hundred years or so, but I’m still here. My family is long gone.” The smile he gave her was so sad it made her eyes prick and she had to blink back tears.
“You see,” he continued, “you have every right to be afraid of me. Of what I am and what I can do. You should run. Bringing you here was selfish of me.”
Chapter Fifteen
She knows the truth.
There was relief in that, as well as fear. What would she think of him now? He’d only told one other person the entire story—the male who’d been hired to be his executioner. But Maccus had talked with him first. And when someone like Maccus asked a question, a man answered honestly.
That had not only saved his life, but irrevocably changed it.
It had almost broken Alexei to learn his own father had hired him. It was one thing for the villagers to consider him a monster. That his family had as well…
But Maccus hadn’t viewed him that way. He’d invited Alexei to join the Brotherhood. It had shocked him to learn there were others like him. Okay, no one was exactly like him. But outcasts, those that society refused to accept. Not because of what they did, but simply by virtue of what they were.
Instead of becoming what they’d been called, they’d become the deadliest assassins in the world. They were the ones who destroyed the true mons
ters.
“Alexei.” He’d intentionally let his thoughts wander to the past so he didn’t have to deal with the present. That was cowardly. And if he’d learned one thing in his life, it was that you couldn’t outrun your problems. You had to turn and face them or they eventually trapped you unawares at the worst possible time.
She wasn’t trying to get away from him, wasn’t screaming or beating at him to release her. No, her legs were locked around his waist and her hands were pressed against his chest. Not to keep him away, but simply resting there.
He was breathing heavily. The need for blood was eating at his resolve.
“How did you manage?”
He wasn’t sure why she wasn’t scared of him. Yes, her heart was racing, but he didn’t smell fear. He supposed she’d seen just about every kind of creature there was to see. Maybe he was just one in a long line of freaks she’d dealt with.
That was a depressing thought.
“I kept moving. I’d get what blood I needed in a community and immediately leave.” Before anyone discovered what he’d done. It had taken him a while to realize the people he took blood from didn’t remember him. Without even being fully aware of what he was doing, he’d put them in a thrall. He’d simply thought he’d been calming people.
“You make it sound easy when I know it wasn’t.”
No, it had been pure hell. Nothing easy about it.
“I’m sorry you lost your family.” She ran her hand over his chest and down his arms. She was comforting him. Something his family hadn’t done. Maccus certainly hadn’t. Yeah, he definitely wasn’t the type to soothe or console. Just the thought of it almost made Alexei smile. And by that point, he wouldn’t have accepted comfort anyway. He’d been so angry, so walled off from everyone and everything.
Something inside him roared, the anger from the past surging outward. “Why did they do that?” He sounded more like a bewildered child than a professional assassin, but he didn’t care.
“I don’t know.” She hugged him to her, and he took the solace she offered. Even after all these years, it pained him to remember.
“They were my parents, my brother.” Not even Ivan, the younger brother he’d watched over and played with for hours on end, had ever searched him out. Not even once he’d left home and gone out on his own, mated and had cubs.
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