His eyes widened before he glanced away. She knew it. “You did, didn’t you?”
He gave a curt nod.
She kept touching him, petting him, wanting to soothe the pain of his past. “So how did your parents put you on this path if you had no contact with them?” He kept his eyes downcast, and a horrible realization crept into her consciousness.
“They hired one of the Brotherhood, didn’t they?” She knew the truth down to the marrow of her being. They’d not only abandoned their son when he’d needed them the most, they’d hired someone to kill him.
Lucky for them they’d passed on or she’d break her oath and yank them from the world. And that was a code she’d never broken, not once in all the eons of her existence.
She hadn’t realized she’d spoken the last part aloud until he finally looked at her. “It’s okay,” he told her.
“No.” She shook her head, not buying that for one second. “Abandoning you because they were scared? Maybe I could forgive them for that. But they went too far.”
Chapter Sixteen
Cassie was angry on his behalf. The wonder of it settled in his heart, allowing some of the old wounds to heal. They would never completely fade, but somehow, she made them more manageable.
“My father feared what I’d become. Did what he thought was right.” It had taken him a couple of decades to come to terms with that, but he finally had.
“Did he even talk to you?” She poked her finger into his chest. “No, he didn’t.”
He rolled onto his back, pulling her into his arms. As much as he loved having sex with her, he enjoyed this aftermath of togetherness just as much. The part of him that was always unsettled, always craving and wanting, was quieted by her presence. Maybe not silenced—that might be hoping for too much—but appeased.
“He thought he was doing what was best, for me and the rest of the world. It hurt him.” Alexei had seen that much. Not that it had stopped him, though.
She was stiff in his arms, obviously not happy with his explanation.
“It was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“How can you say that?” she demanded, her expression fierce.
“Because it brought Maccus into my life.” He brushed his fingers over her face. “It brought you into my life.” And that was worth any pain he’d endured.
The frown on her face dissipated and a soft glow filled her eyes. “That’s sweet of you to say.”
“It’s the truth.” He was a blunt man, a solitary one, for the most part. He kept people at arm’s length, which was what made Cassie so special. From the first moment he’d laid eyes on her, he’d wanted to bring her closer, not drive her away.
Maybe it was stupid to trust her, but he was past caring. If she decided to betray him, it would destroy him. He’d had too much betrayal from people who’d professed to love him.
Not that she had professed any such thing.
“How did you meet Maccus?”
The memory made him smile. “You ever meet him?”
She shook her head. “No, and I’d just as soon keep it that way. From everything I’ve heard, he’s a very scary person. No one knows what he is for sure. Fallen angel, definitely. Part demon after his time in Hell?”
“He’s a law unto himself. The leader of the Forgotten Brotherhood.” The years slipped away, taking him back to that fateful day.
“My father hired him, but he investigates any job first. All of us do. Not every creature that’s different deserves to be put down. That’s what he told me.” And it had changed not only his life but also how he thought about himself. Given him a shot at doing something more than just surviving, a reason to go on. He was a part of something bigger, something important.
She pressed her palm against his cheek. “Of course you don’t deserve to be put down.”
Her utter conviction settled into his bones. She truly believed that. It wasn’t easy stirring up the past, but he forced himself to continue. “My father wasn’t so sure. And to be honest, neither was I at the time. The bloodlust was strong.” Terrifyingly so. It had taken everything in him to resist, to fight to keep the vampire mutation from taking over completely.
She made a sound of distress. “You had no one to help you.”
Maybe that might have made things easier. Might just as easily have made them worse. Being on his own had taught him discipline.
“We talked,” he told her. And you didn’t lie to Maccus. That was a guaranteed way to end up dead. “He told me about the Brotherhood. We are those outside of society, outside any group. We’re all different in some way. Some of us are hybrids. Others have been cast out for various reasons.”
“But why become assassins? Why not just live in peace?”
This could be the thing that might make her leave him, make her decide he was just too dangerous to be around.
“Bloodlust.” He allowed his undead side to come to the fore—the sharp incisors, so different from his polar teeth, the reddish eyes. She sucked in a breath but didn’t flinch. “Both sides of me are aggressive and dangerous. Bears are deadly, but mostly mellow unless attacked or starving. The other side of me is brutally lethal. It wants blood. It needs blood.”
She nodded. “He offered you an outlet.”
Alexei lowered his head and nodded. “Aggression is a huge part of who I am. I need to release it, or it comes out in ways that aren’t so healthy.” And as his abilities were exponentially increased by being a hybrid, so too were the aggression and bloodlust.
“You’re also kind and patient.”
He raised his head, his mouth twitching, an almost smile forming. “Only you would think that. Most people give me a wide berth.”
“Because you’re so big and intimidating,” she pointed out.
“Because I’m a mean son of a bitch,” he corrected.
“Really?” She studied him and shrugged. “I don’t see it.”
“I’m different around you.” He dared to take her hand in his. “I don’t know why, but the demons that usually ride me are silent when you’re near.”
Her smile lit the whole room and his heart. “That’s such a beautiful thing to say.”
He shrugged, feeling stupid saying such things. “It is what it is.”
“Do you need blood?” The way she said it, so matter-of-fact, took him off guard.
“What?”
“Do you need blood?” she asked again, this time a little slower. “You fed from Tiny, right? It’s why he was lightheaded when he came into the bar.”
He gave a reluctant nod. Once again, she proved how smart she was. “Yeah, I didn’t take too much. He’s a big guy, so he could afford to give up some without it bothering him.”
“Right, I figured as much.” Her belief in him was astounding. There was no railing against him for taking blood from a friend, a customer. She constantly surprised him, but then again, she had a unique way of seeing the world. “But,” she continued, “I don’t know what you need, how often you need it, or what might bring on the urge for more.”
“You are exceptional.” Any other woman would have run screaming from him, would have labelled him a monster.
His whole awareness centered on the blood whooshing through her veins. It was enticing and drew him like a moth to a flame.
His hands were fisted so tight, he feared the bones might crack. The talons of hunger clawed at his insides.
I will not drink from her.
“Alexei.” Her gentle voice was followed by the even softer touch of her hand against his chest. Worry furrowed her brow.
“You’re safe with me,” he promised, hoping he was telling the truth. The urge to taste her was becoming unbearable. She should be a part of him.
He was panting hard now, his lungs heaving. Sweat beaded on his brow. Not exactly going to inspire confidence. “
I have to go.”
Must keep her safe.
He rolled out of bed and sprinted for the door, not bothering with clothes.
She repeatedly called his name, but he ignored it. He had to get away before he did something he couldn’t take back. If he hurt her, it would be the end of him. He’d make the call himself to be put down.
Cassie was his light. If he could harm her, no one was safe. She didn’t see him as a threat, but he knew better. The rest of the world was in danger when he was in one of these moods, which was why he lived in such isolation most of the time.
He sped through his home, slamming the door shut behind him. The cave walls whizzed by as he ran. He shoved the rock aside and burst out into the snowy night. It was dark now, the moon low in the sky.
Shifting on the fly, he lunged forward, snow flying as his giant paws plunged into it. He couldn’t leave Cassie undefended, so round and round he went, running fast and hard, his breath billowing like smoke in the frigid air. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t outrun his demons.
…
“What the hell just happened?” Cassie demanded of the empty doorway. One minute they’d been talking, the next Alexei had bolted.
She’d asked him if he’d needed blood. “Idiot.” She wasn’t sure if she meant him or herself. Flopping back on the bed, she wrapped herself in the warmth he’d left behind and inhaled his scent. Sex had brought out the primal side of him. Even if he strictly didn’t need blood, he’d almost certainly wanted it.
She stared up at the ceiling—or tried to. The light really didn’t penetrate that far.
He’d probably worried she’d freak out. The idea wasn’t one she’d ever entertained before. Letting any bloodsucker at her had never been on her top ten list of things to do. But this was Alexei. The idea of him sinking his fangs into her and sipping her blood wasn’t all that abhorrent. It actually made her toes curl.
But if he took it, would he also take her life force, like he’d taken the essence that had spilled out of Egan?
How is that even possible?
Funny how she’d been worried about making love for fear of draining her partner. It had never once occurred to her that anyone might be able to do the same to her.
Sitting up, she shoved the covers aside. Time to take stock of the situation, but first she needed to find a bathroom. Padding across the floor, she opened the first door and hit the jackpot. The overhead light revealed a surprisingly modern space, and not at all what she’d expected in a cave. But then again, everything was unexpected when it came to Alexei.
A large mirror hung over a wide vanity. There was the requisite toilet. But the centerpiece of the room was the shower. It was gigantic. Big enough to hold four people—or one very large bear—it was covered with large stone tiles the color of sand.
“Wow.” She walked in and turned on the water. As much as she wanted to linger, she was troubled about Alexei. He was outside somewhere, probably anxious about her reaction to the whole blood thing. “He should have just asked,” she muttered as she soaped up and then rinsed.
When she was clean and dry, she strolled into the bedroom. No way was she putting her dirty clothing back on again. And she wasn’t really in the mood to get fully dressed.
Since his closet was right there, she decided to explore. There was a momentary flash of guilt, but she dismissed it. If he didn’t want her snooping around, he shouldn’t have left.
He had a substantial selection of flannel shirts in various colors. The black and green checkered material appealed to her, so she tugged it from a hanger and pulled it on. It fell almost to her knees. After rolling the cuffs and buttoning it, she dug through his dresser drawers and pulled out a pair of wool socks.
What all the best reapers are wearing. She struck a pose and laughed before she headed to the kitchen. But her good humor faded when silence greeted her. Where was he? And how long would he be gone?
There was no way she could follow him if he’d shoved the rock back in front of the cave opening. There was the whole dark and cold thing, too. She couldn’t track him through the arctic night unless she ripped down the internal walls she’d spent months building.
That was a last resort.
In the kitchen, she examined his supplies, finally settling on a can of chicken noodle soup. His home was cozy, despite being built into a cave.
She ate in solitude and cleaned up when she was done.
Enough of this. Time to get dressed and look for the big guy. If the rock door wasn’t an issue, she could go outside and call out to him.
The air in the room stirred.
Expecting to see Alexei, she turned, but the greeting died on her lips. “What are you doing here, Raoul?”
A senior reaper, he was tall and solid, bigger than most. His olive skin tone, black hair, and brown eyes gave him an attractive appearance. Something she’d never noticed before. After her time spent living here, she’d become more aware of these things. While she could appreciate he was handsome, he didn’t appeal to her, not in the way Alexei did.
He slipped out from the shadows and smiled. “Why, I came to find you.”
…
Running himself ragged wasn’t going to change anything. He’d been at it for almost two hours now and wasn’t even winded.
In the meantime, Cassie was by herself. Probably wondering what she’d ever seen in him in the first place. They’d made love, and he’d all but jumped from the bed and run from her.
He shifted outside the cave and stared up at the star-filled sky, drinking in the peace of the moment. Once he was inside, he pulled the rock back in place. Maybe a door wouldn’t stop those hunting them, but it was more about giving the illusion that there was nothing here beyond an empty mountain.
His hair was still wet from where he’d been rolling around in the snow, so he slicked it away from his face.
He’d have to tell her. There was no other choice. Wouldn’t that be a great conversation? “Yes, I want to bite your neck. I want to taste your blood.” With his Russian accent, it sounded like a line from a bad horror flick.
Tension permeated every cell in his body. He raised his head and sniffed the air. Something wasn’t right.
Cassie!
With a burst of preternatural speed, he rocketed through the passageway. Heart pounding with fear, he slammed through the door of his home and came to an abrupt halt.
There was a stranger in front of her.
He dove for her knapsack that was still on the sofa. In one smooth move, he gripped the handle of the sickle, rolled to his feet, and faced the intruder.
“Stop.” She jumped in front of him, showing no regard for her own safety. It drove him crazy. She had to stop doing that.
“Get behind me,” he bit out from between clenched teeth. Bad enough he’d left her alone when he was supposed to be guarding her. While he’d been nursing his own fears and anger, another reaper had found her.
“You’ve found yourself a worthy protector.” The amusement in the stranger’s voice made him growl.
“Stop it, Raoul.”
It was always good to know the name of his prey. “How did you get in here?” he demanded.
His smile was condescending and smug. Were all these guys arrogant? So far it was two for two.
“Reapers can go anywhere.” Ignoring Alexei, he continued speaking with Cassie. “What were you thinking? Our people are searching for you everywhere. Everyone wants to be the one to bring you back to face judgment.”
“Is that why you’re here?” she asked, seeming more sad than afraid. Alexei locked his arm around her waist and pulled her against his side, keeping the blade in front of him. If the other reaper tried anything, he’d be sorry.
Raoul shook his head. “I heard whispers that there’d been an unexpected death up here. Then I heard that two lower-level re
apers had made an unexplained trip to the area. It aroused my curiosity.”
“You seem to hear a lot.” There was an edge of sarcasm in her tone.
The other male was acting way too familiar with her. They’d probably known one another for centuries, a millennium, maybe longer.
“I keep informed.” He wandered around the space, and Alexei shifted position, keeping the male in front of them at all times. Cassie stayed beside him, and even hooked her arm around his waist.
She’s on my side, reaper.
“As to how I found you.” He glanced at Alexei. “I came up north to have a look around. I was leaving when I noticed a polar bear running around in circles and decided to investigate.”
Shit, this was his fault. His eyes flashed red and he growled.
Raoul seemed surprised for the first time. “Not just a polar shifter? What are you, I wonder?” He reached out his hand.
“Don’t even think it.” There was such command in her voice. This was a woman used to being in charge, being obeyed.
He held up his hands in mock surrender. “You know I don’t kill. None of us do. We take only those sanctioned. And, unfortunately, he hasn’t been sanctioned…yet.”
Implying he probably would be when Cassie was discovered here. So be it. Didn’t change anything for him. “Bring it, reaper. I’ll take on Death himself if I have to.”
“Brave words.”
“He’s one of the Forgotten.”
A new respect seeped into Raoul’s expression. “Well, that does change things. Probably not enough, no matter what you are. I should be able to pinpoint it, but I can’t. Fascinating. But the boss can’t allow this to stand. You know that. No other has ever walked away from their duties before.”
Her shoulders slumped. Alexei hated seeing her that way. She was vibrant and courageous. “She deserves a break. She’s worked for it.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.” He couldn’t afford to lose her. She was a thread of light, of hope. Kept him grounded in a way he’d never been before.
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