She drew her fixed stare from the doctor’s face and hurried towards the bed and, bending over Elaine, she took hold of her groping hands and said softly, ‘There, there, dear. There, there. It’s the last lap.’
‘Rea…really? You…you mean that?’
‘Yes, yes. Now try to let yourself go; sink into the bed and…and when the pain comes hang on to me and we’ll pull together.’
‘Pull…pull together. Yes, yes, pull…pull together. You don’t know what it’s like, you don’t, you don’t.’
‘I’ve got a little idea.’
‘O…h!’
‘Now here it comes. Come on now!’
She had hardly finished speaking when she felt herself being roughly edged out of the way by the nurse, and now she surprised not only the nurse and the doctor but also herself as she twisted her head round and yelled, ‘Get out of the way, you! Leave us alone. Go about your business.’
There was a long pause before the nurse replied and almost as loudly. ‘This is my business.’
‘Well, you’ve made a poor show of it from what I’ve seen. That’s it, dear, come on. Come on, press harder. Oh, that’s a good one.’
When Elaine’s body gave a great heave before sinking back into the bed, Betty almost fell across her, for Elaine was still gripping her hand and the long nails had embedded themselves in her wrists…
And so it went on until two minutes before midnight, when the doctor, now in his shirt sleeves, the nurse, looking very dishevelled, and Betty, almost as exhausted as Elaine, gave one combined sigh as Joe’s son came reluctantly into the world and immediately voiced his indignation when he was held dangling by his feet. And on the cry the door opened and Joe stood there, his weary face alight, his mouth open, his eyes shining, until the doctor, turning from where he was placing the child in a warm towel that Betty was holding out to him, jerked his head towards him and cried, ‘Presently, presently,’ and Betty holding the child gently to her breast, looked over the bundle and said, ‘A boy, a boy, a beautiful boy. Go…go and tell himself.’ And she jerked her head upwards.
Joe did not move for a matter of seconds, but stood looking towards the bed, where the nurse and the doctor now were both bending over Elaine, and Betty, speaking again and quickly now, said, ‘Go on, go on, she’s all right.’
When the door was closed, she let her gaze drop to the crumpled face peeping out from the folds of the towel. It was topped with hair, dark hair. Its eyes were blinking, its jaws were working: it was alive, it was a life. It was beautiful, oh, so beautiful.
The pain that went through her heart now was from the opening of an old wound, a remembered pain, a pain that was made up of frustration, longing, need…and envy.
Five
After the birth, Elaine was in a very weak condition. She remained in bed for nearly a month and, contrary to what is the generally held theory, the memory of it didn’t fade, for hardly a day passed but she recalled it and swore that she would kill herself rather than endure the same again.
At first Joe had assured her that she had no need to worry, that he was satisfied that it would never happen again, but as the threat was repeated daily he became not a little irritated by it, and even more so by the fact that his son never ceased to yell during his waking hours, and this he blamed on the artificial feeding, for Elaine had firmly refused to breastfeed the child.
A week after the birth the nurse had left, to the relief of all concerned, and from then both the care of the child and the nursing of Elaine had fallen on Betty’s shoulders.
Another maid had been engaged. Her name was Nellie McIntyre. Seventeen years old, her main work was to assist Betty in the bedroom and to help in the nursery.
A guest room across the landing from Elaine’s bedroom had been turned into an attractive nursery, but it had one drawback: it wasn’t far enough away to dull the yelling of Master Martin Remington.
But, on this morning, for once, the child was quiet, and he was gurgling at his mother as she held him in her arms.
‘Isn’t he beautiful?’ Elaine glanced at Betty, and Betty, smiling down on them both, said, ‘Wonderful.’
‘If only he would remain like this.’
‘He wouldn’t be a boy then.’
‘I wish he wasn’t; I would have preferred a girl.’
‘Really?’ Betty’s face showed surprise. ‘I thought you wanted a boy.’
‘No, no, Joe did; although quite candidly I didn’t care much what it was when I was carrying; I only wanted it to be over. But oh God! if I had known…’
‘Now, now, what did we say yesterday? No more going back.’
‘It’s all right for you, you didn’t have to go through it.’
‘And we’ve been through all that before too…Now you’re better and you’ll be downstairs within a day or two, and I’d like to bet you’ll be dragging Joe to a dance before the end of the month, so let’s hear no more of what you went through.’
‘You’re hard.’
‘Yes, yes, I’m hard, very hard.’
‘Oh no! Now don’t you start.’ Elaine screwed her face up as her son wriggled in her arms, opened his mouth wide and let out a high cry.
‘Oh, take him, Betty. Take him. It goes right through my head.’
Betty lifted the child into her arms and rocked him, saying, ‘There now, there now, what is it?’ And as she walked the room, rocking him gently, his crying subsided and she looked down on him and upbraided him gently, saying, ‘Those are crocodile tears; all you want is to be nursed. Yes, go on, laugh, laugh; you know I’m telling the truth.’
‘Go and put him down in the nursery, Betty.’
‘Well, if I do, you know what’ll happen.’
As Elaine sighed, Betty said, ‘I’ll take him for his morning visit upstairs.’
‘Well, don’t be too long. And don’t let Mike get too near him with that filthy pipe in his mouth. The other day the child’s clothes smelt strongly of smoke.’
‘You’re imagining things; it was your own cigarette you were smelling.’
As Betty made for the door with the child in her arms she looked over her shoulder to where Elaine was now lying back in a chair placed near the open window, and she said, ‘If you made an effort to have a stroll in the garden this afternoon it would do you good. The sun is lovely and warm.’
‘This afternoon! I can hardly use my legs. Oh, you are hard, Betty, I’ve only been out of bed two days.’
Betty closed the door behind her, crossed the landing and mounted the stairs to the floor above, and when she pushed open Mike’s sitting-room door she found the room empty, so she called, ‘Hello, Mike! There’s a visitor to see you.’
Mike was turning from his workbench when she came to the door of the adjoining room, and she said to him, ‘I’m not bringing him in there among all the sawdust and shavings.’
‘Who’s asking you to?’ He came slowly towards her. Then gazing down at the child in her arms, he rubbed its hands with his first finger, and when the child gripped it, a look of pleasure passed over his face and, glancing at Betty, he said, ‘He always does that. Does he do it to everybody?’
‘No, no,’ she lied firmly; ‘he never does it to me.’
‘Well, well. By! he’s growing every day, isn’t he?’ He now moved slowly towards the big leather chair near the window and when he was seated he held out his arms, saying, ‘Let me have him.’
After placing the child in his arms, she seated herself opposite and listened to him talking to it.
‘Hi! young fellow-me-lad. By! you’re going to be a spanker, and you know what? As soon as you can toddle you’re going into that room over there.’ He nodded towards the workroom. ‘I’ll put a knife into your hand and I’ll have you whittling before you can talk, and if I have anything to do with it you’ll grow up like your namesake, your great-granda, at least in some ways.’ He now looked under his brows towards Betty and laughed as he added, ‘He was a caution, was me da. By! aye, he wa
s a lad all right. When he was my age if he wasn’t hitting the bottle he was chasing the lasses, or he was running from me mother because she was chasing him, and many a time if she had caught him she would have murdered him at that.’ He put his head back now and laughed; then he asked, ‘Have you ever seen anybody as daft as our Joe over a bairn?’
‘Oh yes.’
‘You have?’
‘Oh yes, yes, Mike; I’m looking at him now.’
He did not take his eyes off her during the silence that followed this remark, and when he spoke again there was no jocularity in his tone as he said, ‘I’m goin’ to tell you something. When you first brought him up here and I saw him in your arms I thought to meself, It should be hers, she’s a lost mother.’
‘Oh Mike!’ She was on her feet now, standing with her back to him and looking out of the window. ‘You shouldn’t say things like that.’
‘Why not, lass?’
‘Because’—she turned her head quickly to the side and looked back at him—‘they’re hurtful.’
‘I didn’t mean it to be hurtful. I’m only telling you, lass, I think you’re lost; you should be married and have bairns of your own.’
‘Chance is a great thing.’
‘Then all I can say is, there’s a lot of bloody fools walking around.’
‘What if I don’t want to get married?’
‘Aw, if you were to tell that to the cat it would scratch your eyes out. Every woman wants to get married.’
‘No, they don’t.’ She was facing him fully now. ‘There’s scores, hundreds of women who don’t need marriage, just as there are men made the same way.’
‘Then they’re not bloody normal.’
‘To your way of thinking they may not be, but nevertheless it’s a fact.’
‘Are you one of them, is that what you’re saying?’
She swallowed deeply before she replied, ‘No, I’m not one of them.’
‘Then you want to be married?’
Whatever her answer would have been to this she wasn’t called upon to make it, for a tap came on the door and when she said, ‘Come in,’ the door opened quickly and Ella as quickly came across the room and said in a loud whisper, ‘It’s…it’s Lady Ambers. She called; she asked for you. I…I said you were upstairs, and when I went you weren’t there. And the missis, she told me to take her up, and she’s with the missis now. I…I thought I should tell you.’
‘Thanks, Jane. Thank you. I’ll be down directly.’
‘Lady Ambers! My! my! we’re going up in the world. That’s the old girl that wants you to go along of her, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, that’s her.’
‘She’s likely come for her answer. What are you going to do?’
‘What do you think?’ She lifted the child from his arms and as she walked hurriedly towards the door he called after her, ‘Don’t you dare. Do you hear me?’
She made no answer, but hurried down the stairs and made her way to the bedroom, pausing for a moment before opening the door and entering the room.
Lady Ambers was sitting opposite Elaine and she immediately cried at Betty, ‘Oh! There you are. There you are. And the child in your arms. It suits you. Why haven’t you come to see me? I wrote to you; didn’t you get my letter?’
‘Yes, and I answered it.’
‘Well, I never received a reply. Likely it wasn’t posted at this end, or if it was, somebody nicked it at yon end; you can’t trust anybody. Let me have a look at him.’
When Lady Ambers craned her wrinkled neck up out of her mink stole Betty did not bend towards her but said, ‘I think his mother is the one to show him off,’ and with that she placed the child on Elaine’s knee. However, her tactfulness did nothing to soften the expression on her sister’s face. She saw that Elaine was on her high horse and she didn’t have to make a guess at what had put her there, for Lady Mary, she imagined, was an expert at hoisting people into this position.
‘He looks healthy. Who does he take after?’ She lifted her eyes from the child to Elaine and said bluntly, ‘Not you; I’d say his father. Yes, I remember him; I met him at the station. Roughly handsome individual if I remember correctly. Yes, roughly handsome. Men are more attractive when they’re roughly handsome. People who are too handsome or too beautiful lose something. For my own taste, give me a plain individual; they’re always more interesting, like your sister there.’ She now nodded towards Betty, who compressed her lips and made a slight motion with her head at the split compliment; and the next moment she understood the reason for the expression on Elaine’s face, for the old lady went on, ‘If you’ve got to live with anyone for any length of time, good looks can become an irritation. They intrude; they make you aware of age. But personality, no, that entertains you. And you know something?’ She now stubbed her finger over the baby’s head and towards Elaine’s breast as she ended, ‘That’s the greatest asset in life, to be an entertainer; in one way or another to be an entertainer.’ Now she twisted her head round and thrust her chin up towards Betty and demanded, ‘When will you be ready to leave?’
‘Oh now, Lady Mary…’
‘Never mind, Oh now, Lady Mary, you told me you’d come to me once the child was born.’
‘That isn’t quite correct. I said I would stay here as long as I was needed.’
‘Well, she’s all right, and up.’ She did not deign to look at Elaine now but thumbed towards her. ‘And she’s quite old enough to look after herself and the child, I should say. And I notice servants running about; I’ve seen a man and two maids already, as well as that black man who is the chauffeur. You have as many here as Sarah has.’
‘She’s not leaving.’
Now the old lady jerked her head in Elaine’s direction and she stared at her for a moment before she said. ‘You’ve said that once already but, as I’ve already asked you, do you rule her life? She’s an independent woman, she can go where she likes; and if I know anything she’ll go where the need is most, and I think that my need is greater than yours.’ She now nodded her head at Elaine; then, quickly turning her attention to Betty again, she said, ‘Well, what about it?’
Betty walked slowly forward until she was standing against the old lady’s chair and she said softly, ‘I’m very sorry but…but I can’t leave her just at present.’
They stared at each other. Betty’s expression was sad and the old lady’s, at that moment, was slightly pathetic, yet her voice was as strident as ever as she demanded, ‘Are you here for life then?’
‘Oh, no, no; I can go…’
‘She’s here for as long as she wishes to stay. She’s my sister and this is her home,’ Elaine said stiffly.
The old lady now drew herself to her feet with Betty’s assistance, and she adjusted her stole, smoothed her brown silk gloves over the backs of her hands, gave her body a little shake, very much like a hen would do after a dust bath, then turned on her heel and walked out of the room.
Betty did not look towards Elaine before she followed Lady Ambers, and once out on the landing she hurriedly caught hold of the old lady’s arm, saying gently, ‘That is the wrong way; the stairs are this way.’
Lady Ambers did not speak until they reached the hall and there, making an effort to subdue her voice, she said, ‘I find your sister an objectionable person. I knew at our first meeting that I shouldn’t like her. She is a selfish creature; it shows in her face, petty and peevish. I know the type, I’ve met scores of them. You’re a fool. Do you know that?’ She was poking her face towards Betty now. ‘And a double fool for allowing yourself to be used. But there’ll come a time, you mark what I say, young woman, there’ll come a time when you want to be away from here and the claustrophobic atmosphere of that room. She pretends the boot’s on the other foot, but I could read through her. Do you know what she said to me? She said you had more need of her than she had of you. Her tune was different before you came in: it was then as if she were conferring a favour on you, and I picked it up and told her that, f
rom my short acquaintance with you, you weren’t the kind of person to accept favours lightly. If you had been sensible you and I would have been away into the sunshine long before now…I’m leaving tomorrow. It seems that James doesn’t want to die and Sarah is getting on my nerves. They’re so old-fashioned, so behind the times. Well, miss, I’ll keep in touch because—’ Her voice dropped almost to a murmur and, looking straight into Betty’s eyes, she said, ‘I don’t know why this should be, but I’ve got a strong feeling that you and I will come together through a reciprocal need. I’ve only had this feeling once before in my life and it turned out to be correct.’ She bounced her head now, then took two paces towards the door, stopped again and looked at Betty, saying very quietly and formally, ‘Goodbye, Miss Burton, and Betty answered, ‘Goodbye, Lady Mary.’ Then keeping a short distance behind her, she followed her through the door that Duffy was holding open, and down the steps to where her man, Hammond, waited beside the carriage door.
Not until the carriage had disappeared around the curve in the drive did she turn about and go back into the house, and as she crossed the hall and made for the stairs Ella appeared as though from nowhere, saying quietly, ‘I’ve popped you a tray in the breakfast room, miss, sandwiches and that.’
Betty paused, nodded at the girl, then said, ‘Thank you, Jane. Thank you.’
In the breakfast room she sat down by the side of the table and, reaching out absent-mindedly, picked up a sandwich from the plate and nibbled at it. But after the first bite she hastily replaced it on the plate; she didn’t like to eat sandwiches in the middle of the morning. It was kind of Jane to bother, but she had indicated to her before that she wasn’t very fond of sandwiches.
At this moment, she was experiencing a deep feeling of regret and a strong wish to be in that carriage bowling along the road, sitting by the side of that strange but entertaining old woman, that vital old woman, that wise old woman, and—now she gave an audible small mirthless laugh—that utterly tactless old woman.
Justice is a Woman Page 11
