“Now, Eden.” He pushes into me hard and it sets me off.
I come so hard for a second I struggle to catch my breath. I’m vaguely aware of him coming inside me before he starts cursing. He pulls out and abruptly stands me up. My legs feel like jelly so I have to grip the wall as they shake but Eli doesn’t help to balance me. No, he takes a step back and I watch as the shutters slip back down behind his eyes.
“Tell me you’re on the fucking pill.”
I shake my head and open my mouth to tell him it’s not an issue when he starts laughing. It’s a cruel nasty laugh and I brace myself for what’s about to come.
“Unfucking believable. Tell me you’re clean at least. How can a stripper not be on the fucking pill?”
Wow, tell me how you really feel. “Please tell me what being a stripper has to do with being on the pill?”
“Whatever, Eden, I haven’t got time for this shit. Just make sure you get the emergency contraceptive pill. I don’t want kids ever, understand?”
“No, I’m just a stripper, can you dumb it down for me a little?” I answer back, desperately trying to mask the pain each one of his words inflicts.
“Jesus, Eden, can you just promise me to take the fucking pill? Aside from the fact that I don’t ever want to be a dad could you even imagine the clusterfuck that would come of it? I mean you are fucking three guys at once, how the fuck would we even know who the father was?”
I look at him, ice running through my veins even as I feel his cum leaking out of me. “I have taken my clothes off and let men watch me dance around a pole just so that I could keep myself off the streets, but I have never felt like a whore until just now, so thank you for that.” I struggle to keep the wobble from my voice because I refuse to let this asshole know I cried even one tear over him despite his ugly words that coat my skin.
“Oh, and as I was trying to say, you don’t have to worry about me getting pregnant. I can’t have kids, so you can take comfort from the fact that my broken body is finally good for something other than a quick fuck against the wall.”
I don’t bother with the dress this time. I head upstairs to my room and close the door before heading straight to the shower. I climb in before the water is even hot and right there on the base of the cold tile floor I break. Deep soul-wrenching sobs threaten to crack my ribs as the water beats down against my back attempting to wash away his words and my sins. It doesn’t matter anymore. There isn’t enough water in the word to wipe my slate clean.
I don’t know how long I sit there, could be minutes could have been hours before I stand and wash away the remnants of my tears and the essence of the man who made me cry. I step out and dry myself, feeling numb. I wrap the towel tightly around my body and open the bathroom door. I freeze in my tracks when my eyes connect with Eli’s green ones. Gone is the anger from before. All that’s left is devastation so stark and bleak it takes my breath away. He drops to his knees right there in front of me and wraps his strong arms around my hips and holds on for dear life.
“I’m sorry, Eden. I’m so fucking sorry.”
I don’t say anything. I don’t know what to say. I can’t tell him it’s okay because it’s not. There is nothing okay about what he said or how he made me feel but I would be lying if I said a large part of me didn’t sympathise with him. Closing yourself off from people when you’ve been hurt is something we all do. It’s like your mind goes into self-preservation mode. The thing is, you can’t stay like that forever. At some point, you have to let someone in otherwise what is the goddamn point in continuing onwards? I stroke my fingers through his hair and just stand there as he holds me, trying to convey his regret while drawing strength from me to help him tell me his story.
He tilts his head back to look at me, his eyes filled with unshed tears and rests his chin against my belly. “I met Lucy in a bar one night after closing a big case, back when I worked in family law. I was celebrating, one thing led to another and we ended up spending the night together. That was all it was ever meant to be until a couple of months later she tracked me down to tell me that our one-night stand had turned into imminent parenthood.”
My hand stills in his hair.
“We decided to give a relationship a go for the sake of the little one. It wasn’t planned but I was excited about becoming a dad. I bought every item of baby furniture I saw, read every book I could find and when we found out we were having a little girl my protectiveness went into overdrive. I was already envisioning boyfriends turning up at the house and me being arrested for murder. I was a nervous wreck, but I can’t ever remember being as happy as I was in that moment, picturing myself holding my baby girl for the first time.”
He takes a shaky breath before continuing. “Two months before she was due to give birth, I came home to find her gone. She had taken everything I owned with the exception of the carpets and the light fixtures. None of that mattered to me though, all I cared about was my daughter.”
“She took your baby?” I ask, knowing there is no way that he and Noah would leave any stone unturned in locating her.
I watch as the tears he had valiantly tried to fight slip down over his cheeks.
“She took her baby. She was never mine to begin with. I was just her cash cow until her deadbeat ex decided to take her manipulative ass back. Unknown to me, she was already pregnant before I had ever laid eyes on her. She knew who I was and decided to hook her star to mine knowing I made good money. She played the baby off as mine and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. Each scan fell on a day I was in court which at the time seemed coincidental but was all part of Lucy’s plan.
“She wasn’t as good at hiding as you. Noah found her within a week. I was all set to fight and I was going to fucking win if I had to sell my soul to Satan to do it but when that DNA test came back, it was game over. I had to grieve for my baby, my little girl, because I was never going to hold her or scare off her dates or walk her down the aisle, she was just gone.
“Doing my job became too much after that so I retrained and started joining Noah on jobs. Anything to try and take my mind off all I had lost. People didn’t understand. They thought I had dodged a bullet and I should forget about it but how the fuck do you forget the love of your life? Because that’s what that little girl was to me, Eden, she was my everything and it was all a lie. How do I get past that?”
I let my tears fall freely as I try to take in everything he said. If I ever get my hands on that woman, I will slap the shit out of her. This poor man on his knees before me had to grieve for the loss of a daughter that was never his to begin with. Sure, that baby might have been born healthy, but it means nothing to a man who has had his right to hold her and nurture her snatched away from him.
“I’m sorry, Eli. I’m sorry for you and for the little girl who will never get to know what an amazing father you would have been.” I take a deep breath knowing my next words could spark his temper again but unless he deals with this now, he will always be stuck in the past.
“You don’t get past it, Eli. You won’t ever really get over it or forget it, but you have to find a way to live with it. That vile women still has complete control of your life. She dictates your relationships, your ability to connect with other people and your chance of a fulfilling tomorrow, and you let her. Every time you shut down, close yourself off and walk away you are letting her take control. It is time for you to get it back.”
He’s quiet, thinking over my words while I resume stroking my fingers through his hair. I tip his head back and wipe a stray tear with the pad of my thumb before pushing myself free of his arms. I head out to the balcony, not caring that I’m only in a towel, just needing to escape from the man who wants to draw comfort from me when he was the one that made me bleed. The wind whips my hair about and chills my skin within seconds, but I don’t care. The thought of being numb, of feeling nothing, sounds like heaven right now. I hear the door slide open behind me and close my eyes tightly. I know I’m mentally in no fit sta
te to fight with him anymore. The push and pull between us has left me with nothing more than a bruised heart and a fractured sense of self-worth.
The comforter from my bed is wrapped around my shoulders before he stands silently beside me. He doesn’t speak for a second, wisely knowing that what he says next has the power to build something between us or destroy everything.
“Please don’t give up on me, on us,” he whispers.
I turn my head to look up at him and swallow.
“You’re too good for me, we both know that. You’re smart, beautiful, kind, and so fucking strong. Out of all of us, I’m the weak link but I swear to god, Eden, if you give me a chance, I will spend the rest of my life making myself strong enough to be worthy of you.” He takes a deep breath and turns me fully towards him, cupping my face with each of his hands.
“I am hopelessly and irrevocably in love with you and scared out of my ever-loving mind that I have broken something that can't be fixed. I swear to you, right here, right now that if you give me a chance, I’ll love you until my lungs give out and my heart withers to dust. I’ll protect you always and be gentle with your heart for the rest of my days. You just have to be willing to try.”
A sob breaks free from my chest as hot tears stream endlessly down my cheeks.
“Please forgive me, Eden, please,” he implores with his forehead against mine, his voice cracking. “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.”
I have one shot, one decision, one split road—so which path should I take? Do I take the easy road and walk away from this man who hurt me or do I take the road twisted with brambles in the hope that I find roses at the end? I’ve spent a long time running. Maybe it’s time to stay and fight for a change, for a chance of that tomorrow that I’ve always dreamt of.
“I can’t give you babies and that hurts me more than you will ever know because you deserve that, to hold that little girl you ache for so badly.”
He cuts me off with a soft kiss on my lips. “None of that matters, you are what matters. I will always choose you no matter what. Here today, tomorrow, and in fifty years—I will choose you, Eden, always, and spend an eternity showing you how fucking sorry I am that I made you shed even one tear over my unworthy ass.”
I nod, his face a blur through my tears. He stands and sweeps me up into his arms, carrying me inside before gently lowering me down onto the bed.
He pulls his clothes off slowly, giving me a chance to protest but I just watch as he peels away layer after layer of anger and distrust and disregards them with his clothing. He climbs on top of me, bracing his weight on his forearms, his St. Jude chain dangling from his neck. I wrap my fingers around the medallion and pull him closer, suddenly understanding the reasoning for wearing it.
“I was lost for so long.” He breathes against my lips. Guess my face must have shown exactly what I was thinking. He kisses me softly, once, twice before pulling away, his eyes shining. “Thank you for finding me.”
He slides the towel out from between us and throws it to the floor with his clothes. Starting at my ear he laves delicate kisses down the column of my neck and across my collarbone until he finally reaches my chest. I can feel him hardening against my leg and I squirm in anticipation despite the epic disaster of last time. He spends an endless amount of time worshipping my body until I’m a boneless, quivering wreck. When I feel him press against my entrance, I freeze, which makes him stop and look down at me in question.
“Condom,” I manage to croak out.
A look of understanding and guilt crosses his face. He leans up, so his nose is inches away from mine. There is nowhere else to look but into his eyes, which I guess is what he intended.
“I will absolutely wear a condom if that is what you want but I need to say this now. What I spouted before was complete and utter bullshit. I, in no way shape or form, think you’re a slut or a whore.”
I flinch at his words and he curses softly.
“I was a dick because I was scared, and I lashed out. I’m really fucking sorry, Eden. You are everything good and kind and I’m fucking privileged just to lie next to you, let alone touch you.”
He kisses my forehead and nudges at my entrance again, waiting for permission. “Sliding inside of you, having your slick heat wrapped around me like a fucking vice has me feeling nothing but honoured. If you want me to grab a condom, I’ll do it. You want me to stop and just lie with you, I will wrap you up so tight you won’t know where you end and I begin. If you say yes and let me inside, I will make love to you like I should have done the first time and I will spend the rest of my life worshipping you as you deserve.”
Still holding his chain, I pull until his lips are touching mine, my other hand I tangle in his hair. Another tear leaks down the side of my face and onto the pillow but this one isn’t a tear of sadness it’s of love and acceptance and trust.
“Come inside, Eli,” I whisper, not even trying to mask my emotions from him.
He swallows hard as his own emotions beat against him and slowly pushes his way in. This time our love-making is slow and filled with passion and words left unsaid. When we both find our release, he swallows my gasps of pleasure with lips that never leave mine.
“I love you, Eden.”
“I know.” And I do, it’s why I confronted him in the first place, sparking the fire that blazed out of control for a while. “I love you too, Eli.”
He slides out of me and heads to the bathroom. I have a moment of doubt. That stubborn thought in the back of my head that says maybe he will run again but he comes back carrying a cloth and cleans me up before discarding it. He lies down beside me, our bodies flush, his breath against my face while he traces his fingers up and down the ridges of my spine. He pauses for a second before lifting his hand and slipping his chain over his head and sliding it over mine.
“I can’t take this, Eli,” I protest but he presses his lips against mine, cutting me off.
“I bought this the day the DNA test came back. I had never felt so lost and alone before. But now, well, now I have you, Eden, you are my home.”
He tugs the comforter up over us and wraps his arms tightly around me as we both drift off to sleep. I’ve never really been an afternoon napper but snuggled up in Eli’s arms I realise I’ve been missing out.
Chapter Fourteen
NOAH
I knock on Eden’s bedroom door and walk in before she answers, too pissed off with Eli to worry about being polite. I realise I’m waking her up from a nap and feel like an asshole for it but after finding out the real reason Mason couldn’t drive home, I’m on edge.
“Hey, Eden, have you seen Eli? I swear to god if that asshole has gone out and left you alone I’m going to…” I trail off as I notice an arm wrapped around her waist that definitely doesn’t belong to her.
“That asshole would be here,” he rumbles as he flips me off. He leans up onto one arm and gazes down at Eden, who is looking at us both with a look of trepidation.
“Fucking finally.” I throw my hands up in the air. Now maybe the air won’t become so clogged with their sexually repressed vibes.
“Bite me, Noah.”
“No thanks, you’re not my type. I would rather bite Eden. I’m glad you guys have sorted your shit out. I hate to break up this lovefest, but we need to talk.”
They both sit up to face me. Eden tucks the sheet over her breasts and under her arms, more’s the pity.
“Someone slashed Mason’s tires. That’s why I had to pick him up. The guys are checking out the security footage now.”
They both scramble out of bed and get dressed in record time. They follow me downstairs to a rather subdued Mason.
“Hey, you okay?” Eden asks him, stepping into his arms and kissing him softly on the lips. I’m sure he’s feeling better now.
“I’m all right, pretty girl. I’ll be better if Callum and Kane can pull an image from the cameras. It might finally give us a lead to go on.”
“I’m sorry, Mason this is
all my fault.”
“Nope. Don’t go there, Eden. You’re always going on and on about us not blaming ourselves so you don’t get to do it either. I’ve spoken to the police. They’re waiting on the footage from Dante’s too, but really, I only made them aware of it so it was on record with the rest of the stuff going on.”
Eli, who had been banging around with the coffee machine, offers a cup to Mason before handing Eden hers.
“Thanks, man.”
“No worries. Did the police say anything useful at all?” Eli asks but he sounds sceptical.
“Nope. They pretty much said it could be unrelated. It’s not the first time someone had their tires slashed at Dante’s and it won’t be the last. It could be nothing more than a coincidence.”
“Urgh… I’m so sick of hearing the word coincidence,” Eden grumbles into her cup.
Eli hands me my coffee before wrapping his arms around Eden. “It’s all going to be okay, Eden.”
“You don’t know that, Eli. Hell, with Karl out of the picture we don’t even know who this guy is.”
“I know—”
“So, you guys finally figured it out, huh?” Mason cuts Eli’s response to Eden short when he finally notices her wrapped up in Eli’s arms.
I’ve got to admit I’m curious as to what his reaction will be. He was supportive of me but this could go either way.
“Figured what out?” Eden asks with a small smile on her face.
“That Noah and I are not the only ones in love with you.”
“I figured he was, yes… wait. That’s how you tell me you love me for the first time?” she asks, shocked.
I can’t say I’m any happier than she is about that. I want to tell my woman I love her in my own damn time. He stands up and takes her coffee, placing it on the island with his own before backing her up against the counter.
“Pretty girl, I have been in love with you since the first moment I laid my eyes on you. Everything I am, everything I have been through brought me to you. I loved you as Eve Temptation and I love you as Eden Myers. You’re the girl who breathed life into the boy who was merely existing until you woke him up. I have just been waiting for you to catch up.”
The Promise of Tomorrow: An Inheritance Novel Page 14
