by Molly O'Hare
Olive’s eyes softened when she looked at him. “It could have been worse. I had a roof over my head and lord knows enough food. It wasn’t all that bad.”
“And yet you have a Christmas tree in your room.”
“The Christmas tree keeps me free.” When Olive looked at the tree he saw awe in her eyes. “It reminds me that I can be who I want to be. I’ll never take it down.”
Hank realized what the tree meant to her.
Freedom.
At that moment he finally understood who Olive was. As she watched her tree and took in what it represented to her, he found himself falling more in love with her.
It was like he was seeing her for the first time.
“I’m in love with you, Olive Quinn.” The words were out of his mouth before his brain processed what he was doing. However, now that the words were out there, he wasn’t going to take them back. He didn’t care. He wanted her to know he loved her.
Olive flinched away from him. “What did you say?”
“You heard me. I love you.” His eyebrows knitted together.
“No, you don’t.” Olive moved off the bed reaching for her pants that had been discarded the previous night. “You’re mistaken. You’re on some post-sex high or something like that.”
Hank pushed himself off the bed following her as she moved around her room getting dressed. “These aren’t words thrown out in the heat of the moment. You can’t tell me how I feel, Olive. I know for a fact I’m in love with you.”
“You are not in love with me, Hank.”
“Yeah, I am.” Hank bent picking up his pants before hastily throwing them on. “I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember.”
Olive stopped getting dressed and stared at him. Her eyes held fear. “Why are you lying?”
Hank pulled on his shirt. “I’m not fucking lying, Olive.”
“You already get in my pants. You don't need to butter me up to keep getting into my pants. I’m a sure thing when it comes to you. You don't need to lie to keep me here.”
“You have got to be kidding me right now.” Hank felt his body was on the verge of snapping.
“I’m not the one that’s kidding you. You’re kidding yourself if you think you’re in love with me.”
Hank’s eyes narrowed on her as she finished putting on her top.
“I’m sure by the time you come home from the station, this will have all blown over and we can get to the make-up sex part and forget this ever happened.”
Hank shook his head in anger before he left her room. Olive was right behind him. When they made it into the living room, Hank quickly threw on his boots. He needed to get out of there.
“This isn’t like normal fights, Olive. This is me telling you I’m in love with you and I’m so fucking tired of you pretending my feelings don’t count. What more do you want me to do?”
Olive crossed her arms over her chest as she stared him down. “You don't love me, Hank. It’s not possible.”
“Yes, I do. I’ve been in love with you for years. Fucking years, Olive. Did you really think I needed to move in here?”
He watched as her eyes widened. “Because, I didn’t. The second Miranda told me you needed a new roommate I jumped at the chance.”
Olive threw her chin out. “Why?”
“Jesus Olive, are you not fucking listening? I love you. I am in love with you and I want to spend the rest of my goddamn life with you.” Hank straightened before taking a small step closer to her.
When she took a step away from him…
His heart sank.
“This was only supposed to be research, Hank.”
Her words were like a knife to his chest. He stared at her with pure disbelief in his eyes.
“Is that what you really think these last few months have been?” He made air quotes. “Research?”
“Yes.” She blinked at him. “That-that’s what you said this was. That’s why I agreed to do it. You can’t change the rules now. Hank that’s not the agreement.”
Hank looked into her eyes hoping he’d see something that would make him stay. Something that would tell him he had a chance of changing her mind.
Instead, he saw her raise her walls around herself.
Shaking his head, he grabbed his keys and headed toward the door and pulled it open. He turned to look at her one more time. “You got what you want, Olive. I’m un-agreeing to whatever it was we had. I can’t do this anymore. Fuck, I won’t do this anymore. Consider us done. If all I am to you is research then you need to find yourself another subject because I can’t keep loving you if you refuse to love me too.”
Chapter Fourteen
Olive jumped the moment Hank slammed the door behind him. As she looked around the room she tried to grasp what had just happened. How did she go from being in bed with Hank to this?
“Oh yeah, that’s right. Hank told me he loved me.”
Olive plopped onto the couch trying to analyze everything as she always did.
Hank doesn’t love me. He can’t love me.
Olive’s body pulled into itself. Was whatever they had really over? Was this the end of their agreement?
At that thought, her heart constricted in pain.
No. This isn’t supposed to hurt. This isn’t supposed to be anything.
Olive looked around the room, when she spotted Dog, she realized the cat was intently staring at her. She could swear she saw shame in Dog’s eyes.
“Stop looking at me like that,” Olive pleaded. “He can’t love me, Dog. There are so many reasons why he can’t be in love with me. I’m not his type, for one.”
Dog threw her head into the air as if to tell her she was wrong.
“I’m right. Hank Parker is known for loving and leaving them. Plus, he’s my best friend’s brother. There are so many things wrong with this fucked up agreement.”
Olive threw herself backward onto the couch as she tried to piece together the events of the morning. This was why she never wanted to do a, “friends with benefits” type of relationship. They always caused problems, even in her books they threw everyone’s life upside down.
Although, the characters in her books always seemed to work it out…
Olive squeezed her eyes shut.
Hank wasn’t like her characters, though.
He was better.
Hank was perfect.
When it came to Hank, Olive’s needs always came first. And he always went above and beyond when taking care of her.
Once Olive had finally gotten her writing groove back, Hank did everything he could to help her.
She thought back to the first time she actually realized Hank had been making sure she was fed and had something to drink during her monster writing sessions.
She hadn’t truly registered what he was doing until her stomach grumbled and she mindlessly reached for the ham sandwich he left at her side.
Hank had taken it upon himself to make sure she always had what she needed.
He constantly made sure she had something to drink, a snack, sometimes a full-blown meal. He’d even go as far as to make sure Dog was out of the room.
Since Hank and Olive had started their research agreement, her life had run more smoothly. Everything had run more smoothly. She’d been able to knock out another book well before her deadline. She found herself having more time to read. Life had become less stressful.
But, it wasn’t just how he took care of her. It was everything.
She placed the palms of her hands over her closed eyes as she thought of Hank’s declaration. Could he really love her?
More importantly, she thought. Could I love him?
Olive spent the better part of her life believing love was a lie. She wrote about love and made sure to give every character their deserved happy ending, but she never thought love was in the cards for her.
At least not anymore.
She thought she’d been in love with Josh.
She was wrong.
All Josh did was teach her love was a made-up falsehood. Just like her parents did.
Love wasn’t real.
Love was made up, she knew that first hand since her career involved manipulating her stories so her characters got their happy ending.
What was love anyway?
The only examples she’d been shown her whole life were utter crap. The way her parents treated each other. That wasn’t love.
Olive pinched the bridge of her nose as she laid on the couch.
Hank’s parents weren’t like that, though.
She opened her eyes to stare at the ceiling. That’s right. Hank’s parents were the complete opposite of hers. When they looked at each other, it was like everyone else in the room melted away.
She’d be lying if she said she didn’t want that for herself. Or at least had dreamed about it, back before she wisened up about life.
A small tear ran down the side of Olive’s cheek. I don’t deserve love like that. She closed her eyes as her father’s voice rang through her head. “You are such a failure, Olive. Do you really think anyone would want to be with someone who is an English Literature major? No wonder Josh slept around on you. I’m not surprised in the least. What does surprise me is the fact he was with you in the first place.”
Olive felt more tears break free as her mother’s words also chimed in. “I wish you weren’t my daughter.”
Olive pushed away her tears, before she sat upright on the couch. Her parents had beat it into her daily that she wasn’t good enough. She wasn’t pretty enough. She was too overweight.
She didn’t deserve love.
How was Olive supposed to know what love felt like?
She’d never been loved.
Olive closed her eyes while she took a deep breath.
Hank said he loved her.
He was always there for her. He took care of her needs. Needs she didn’t even know she had. When she was with him she felt safe, secure, and warmth. A warmth she never felt with her parents.
Could she put aside her warped feelings of love, and see Hank for who he really was?
Her other half.
Olive’s eyes shot open at the realization.
Hank was her other half.
The person that completed her in every way possible. It didn’t matter her parents warped what love was to her. Because Hank showed her.
Hank showed her every day what it felt like to be loved and cared for, and more importantly, he showed her it was okay to love someone.
Olive Quinn was in love with Hank Parker.
She jumped to her feet. “I have to tell him.”
A new wave of urgency ran through her as she scanned the room looking for her keys. When she spotted the keys on the other end of the coffee table, she jumped for them.
However, the second her fingers touched the key ring her body shuddered.
She’d been meaning to take her car in and get it looked at, but she kept putting it off. And the few times she needed to go somewhere that was too far to walk, Hank always offered to drive her.
Olive thought about her options as she bit her bottom lip.
Stop dilly-dallying, girl. You don’t have time for this.
This was too important to wait. Not when the last thing Hank said was they were over.
She couldn’t chance it. She was in love with Hank, and if that meant getting into her piece of shit car to drive to the station to tell him, then so be it.
Even if Olive had to tie him to the bed to get him to understand she was also in love with him, she would. She’d gladly do it.
Without a second thought, she grabbed the keys along with her purse and took off towards her car. She was on a mission and nothing was going to stop her.
When she made it outside, she threw open the driver’s side door of the car and jumped in. Her hands shook as she placed her keys in the ignition and turned.
Nothing.
“No!” she cried. Olive tried again.
Nothing.
She threw her hands into the air. “Please start, please freakin’ start.” Olive banged on the steering wheel, her frustrations causing her to snap. She took a deep breath closing her eyes before turning the key one more time.
When her car roared to life, she felt relief flood through her body. She looked up, giving a silent thank you to the Universe.
With her car started she was back on track.
Olive threw her car into reverse before she pulled out.
Hank was her world and she was going to stop at nothing to tell him.
As she sped down the road her mind remained focused on one thing. Too bad she never saw the other car who’d run the red light coming until it was too late. With her faulty brakes, she didn’t stand a chance at stopping in time.
That’s when Olive’s world turned to black.
Chapter Fifteen
Hank stormed into the station. His emotions were all over the place, he didn’t know whether he wanted to punch a wall or run back to Olive.
He was hurt. He was angry. And, he didn’t know where to go from here.
How could Olive not believe in his feelings, was she really that scared? He fucking knew deep down Olive loved him too. There was no way she didn’t. She proved it to him every day. The nights she wasn’t writing she’d make sure he had a warm meal to come home to. She’d always curl up on the couch with him, and hand him the remote while she read or worked on her stories. She made it a point, subconsciously or not, to be near him.
Even at night, her body would seek his out while she was deep in sleep. She’d wrap herself around him, molding her body to his.
They were the perfect pair. All of their actions were done out of love. Unfortunately, with Olive’s fucked up parents warping what love truly was, she didn’t know it.
She couldn’t see that they were perfect for each other.
And now in the heat of the moment, he’d ended them.
This was only research. His fists clenched. This was not only fucking research, he knew it and she knew it.
“Why do you look liked you are about to kill someone?” Lucas asked, as Hank stormed past him before throwing himself into one of the chairs in the station’s kitchen.
“I don’t.”
“Tank, if you could see yourself right now you’d even stay clear of you.”
Hank’s jaw firmed as he watched Lucas pour two cups of coffee. The silence in the room was deafening.
“What’s got you shootin’ daggers out your eyes?” Lucas moved to sit opposite of Hank, pushing the freshly poured coffee in his direction.
“Nothing.” Hank grabbed the drink before taking a hefty gulp. A sigh of irritation escaped him when he looked over the rim to see Lucas studying him.
When he started tapping his fingers on the table, Hank clenched this jaw. He knew Lucas was trying to get a rise of out him, but right now was not the time.
After a few minutes, Hank snapped. “Do you mind?”
“Not at all.” Lucas brought his mug to his lips to hide a huge grin that Hank was sure he was sporting. Hank’s eyes narrowed when Lucas placed the cup back on the table and started to strum his fingers once again.
Hank’s eye began to twitch as he watched the hand ready to break it in two. “If you’re going to be annoying go be annoying somewhere else,” he spat.
Lucas relaxed farther into his chair. “I’m not being any more annoying than I normally am.”
Does he have a death wish? Hank held his coffee mug with a force he was sure would shatter it in seconds, as he glared at his friend.
“What? I’m not.” Lucas took another drink. “I’m just sittin’ here, waitin’ for you to tell me what’s got your panties in a twist.”
“Fuck off!”
“Maybe later.” Lucas stared at him giving him the once over. “I can guess if that’ll make it easier on ya?”
Why the fuck is he always like this? Annoying as shit.
Hank pushed himself back into his chair, daring
his friend. “Have at it.”
“It’s either Dog’s giving you the cold shoulder again, or you’ve fucked it up with Olive.”
Hank’s eyes widened in surprise. “What makes you say that?”
“Are you going to lie to me and tell me it’s not?” Lucas moved closer to the table, daring Hank to challenge him.
Hank mimicked Lucas’s posture. “No, I’m not denying anything. I was just curious as to why you would say anything had to do with Olive in the first place.”
Lucas quirked his brow. “Do you really think I don't know about your relationship with her? I’m your best friend. I’ve been there all along, I was there at the graduation. I saw the way you looked at her. You’ve been dreaming about Olive for years.”
Hank nodded, but refused to say anything.
“You’re sleeping with her.”
That got his attention. “How do you know that?”
Lucas shook his head while a small chuckle escaped him. “The cookout was a dead giveaway, man. All the subtle touching and the eye fucking when you thought no one was looking. You were disgustingly protective of her.” Lucas leaned back. “You shielded her body from us when we were giving her a hard time. It was nauseating.”
Had it been that obvious? Good. Hank wanted to pat himself on the back. Everyone damn well needed to know she belonged to him.
“The guys and I have a bet going on when you’ll fuck it up.” Lucas pulled out his phone. “Looks like Tim won.”
Fuckers!
“I didn’t fuck it up,” Hank protested.
“From where I’m sitting, it looks like you fucked it up to me.”
Hank glared at him, his anger rising. “I told her I love her.”
“Yup, you fucked it up.” Lucas gave a quick nod before he took another drink of his coffee.
“How can telling her I love her, be the thing that makes me fuck it up?” Hank looked around the room as one of Olive’s biggest quirks somehow invaded his mind. Was he now in some weird parallel universe like the ones she’d wax poetic about when she got onto one of her tangents? Fuck! Even pissed at her, she was still so far under his skin, he’d even started thinking like her. His jaw firmed. “You don't fuck things up when you tell a woman you are in love with them. That makes zero sense.”
