‘Have you driven before?’
‘Nah, I was never allowed behind the wheel, but I’ve been in tonnes of cars that my brothers were robbing. They weren’t the best drivers at first. They used to grind the gears and make the car conk out. So I guess I’ve had lots of examples of what not to do.’
Nell smiled. The education Mouse had managed to absorb was certainly different from that of most young girls, but she was very adaptable. They got off to a flying start and she managed to move the car into second gear and then slow down and stop.
‘I’m so impressed,’ Nell said. ‘Once you can master going up and down this lane and your provisional licence arrives, we can move onto the road.’
‘What about insurance?’ Mouse asked. ‘Should we get me some?’
‘Eh, yes!’ Nell said shaking her head. ‘Of course.’
‘Right,’ Mouse nodded. ‘Of course. It’s just that Da and the brothers never bothered with that sort of thing. But I know you’re meant to have it though,’ she added. ‘Is it expensive? I could give you my wages?’
‘It can be a little bit expensive,’ Nell said. ‘But it’ll be my present to you.’
‘For what?’
‘Because I can and I want to.’
Mouse nodded and bit her lip. Nell found it incredibly endearing that she didn’t just snatch everything that was offered to her. Nor did she pretend that it was all happening for free with no regard for who paid.
‘I’ll pay you back some day,’ Mouse vowed. ‘It might take a few years to make good money. But I’ll never forget you for this and I will pay you back.’
‘You just paid me there,’ Nell said. ‘Payment doesn’t always have to be with money, Mouse. Sometimes it’s worth so much more to give someone your time. In our case, you give me hope and a sense of purpose. I get up in the mornings and I feel more alive than I have in years.’
‘Really?’
‘I enjoy my day and I look forward to hearing about your work. The stories you tell and the little snippets of village life are fantastic.’
‘Why don’t you start to go out more if you like it so much?’ Mouse asked.
‘I don’t want to go out more. I’m content where I am most of the time. But I love hearing it all through your eyes. You don’t dress it up, you don’t make it all sound any more or less than it truly is. I love that.’
‘So I don’t owe you a pile of dosh?’ Mouse said with a grin.
‘No, you don’t owe me anything.’
They finished the driving lesson and Mouse went off to have a shower and get her things ready for the following day.
Nell gazed out at the view. Not a day passed that she didn’t think of Laura. But for some reason she was beginning to feel a sense of urgency inside. Perhaps her time was running out, although she didn’t feel weak or unwell. But there was a definite shift in her psyche. For the first time in many years, Nell thought deeply about what she’d done.
Until now, she was sure she had made the right choice. She hadn’t felt the need to interfere or make contact or anything. She felt content that things had worked out for the best. Now, though, for some reason she couldn’t even name, she was questioning whether or not it was right. She couldn’t get it out of her head. She was starting to feel as if she should try to set things straight, before she went and snuffed it. The thing was, she had no idea how to go about that, or if any good would come of her making a confession after all this time.
Nell had always made decisions in her life by gut instinct, and so far that method had never let her down. She’d migrated from such a different start in Dublin’s inner-city to her current rural existence. She couldn’t imagine being anywhere else and she adored her home, but she was also aware that she didn’t want to go to her grave with things unsaid and undone. Now, all she needed was the courage and strength to do things in a way that would be beneficial to all concerned. After all, there was no point in destroying the wall of silence unless she was certain it would achieve some good.
Chapter 33
Rob knew it was make or break time. He was fed up of dithering and wanted to make a decision. A quick chat with his brother, who’d pretty much told him to grow a pair, hadn’t helped. Róisín had got under his skin. He’d had the most fantastic night with her. He’d never had so much fun with a girl, in fact. He’d never spoken to Theresa the way he had with Róisín. Theresa knew nothing about him actually. Their conversations were empty nothings. All she wanted was to be seen in the right place with the people she considered to be trendy.
As he drove away yesterday, he was already trying to think of a reason to go back to Ballyshore. Róisín was some woman, with her dark glossy hair and perfect body and her quirky way of dressing. The ballet tutu, T-shirt and glittery shoes combo she’d been wearing when he’d called to the shop wasn’t exactly the usual uniform for a boss. Most women he’d come across with looks like hers were full of themselves. But Róisín had a sense of shyness that was truly endearing.
He assumed that she had zero interest in him, so he was on the back-foot and would need to start from scratch in attempting to woo her. It dawned on him that he hadn’t felt like this ever before. His family were known to be wealthy. The local girls had always been more than willing to try and hook up with him. Much as he hated to admit it, he was probably seen as a good catch in Limerick. Trying to get Róisín to like him would be a whole new adventure.
He chastised himself. Róisín wasn’t an adventure. She was the realest person he’d ever encountered and he couldn’t get enough of it. Theresa and her crew seemed like stuffed dolls by comparison. The problem was this mess in France. He had been knocked for six when she’d explained about Jacques, but he felt that if she let go of Jacques and her past with him, they could have an amazing future together. He just knew it in his bones. But how could he make her see this, especially when he was up against the deadline for her decision? He reckoned his father might be just the person to ask.
He drove to the office and hurtled in the door, calling out to his dad. When he received no answer, he strode towards the office at the back. The door was shut and he could hear voices, so he busied himself with some paperwork while he waited for the meeting to finish. After a while, the door was flung open and a man stalked out, looking very annoyed. Rob stared in surprise as he recognised him: it was the man Róisín had introduced him to in Nourriture. The German didn’t look left or right, he just strode quickly out of the building.
Rob walked into the office. ‘Hi Dad, who was that?’
Melvin smiled at his son. ‘Someone I said no to, so he no doubt hates me right now. His name is Claus Schmidt.’
‘I’ve seen him before, out at Nourriture. What was his business with you?’
Rob listened with interest as his father explained that Claus was looking for a large piece of land to build a price-cutting supermarket. He’d no interest in employing local workmen and Melvin simply disliked his ethics. He’d made a substantial offer, but Melvin was having none of it.
‘Not if we were living on the breadline and running on empty would I sell my land to a cowboy like him. So what’s your plan for the day, son? Are you off selling?’
‘I am, but I need to stop by and talk to Theresa first.’
‘Are you finally asking that girl to marry you?’
‘No Dad, I’m actually thinking of ending it. She’s not the one I see myself growing old with.’
‘I see.’ Melvin looked disappointed.
‘I think I know who is, though.’
‘Really?’ he said, brightening considerably.
‘She’s from Ballyshore, but we’re only friends right now.’
‘And what makes you think this other lassie is the one for you?’
‘I’ve never been able to relax with anyone the way I do with Róisín. She’s beautiful and smart and has so many ideas and opinions.’
‘How would you feel if you never saw Róisín again?’
‘Oh wow, I’d die … she
makes me feel alive. I left Ballyshore earlier and all I can think about is how I’m going to find an excuse to go back there …’ Rob stopped short. For the first time he heard his own thoughts as he told his father about Róisín.
‘I think you may have answered your own conundrum there, son. And for the record,’ he added, ‘your mother made me feel the same way. If she were here now, I know she’d say what I’m about to say: be yourself, let this girl see exactly who you are and if she doesn’t love you, then she’s not the one.’
‘She’s the first person I’ve been able to be me while I’m with her. When I’m with Theresa and her friends, I feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I don’t fit in.’
‘Let Theresa down gently. Just because she’s not right for you doesn’t mean she’s a bad person.’
‘I know, Dad. I will.’
As he stood to leave, Melvin put his hand on Rob’s arm.
‘Your mother would be so proud of you.’
Rob walked to his car. He hated the thought of upsetting Theresa, but he figured it was better to be honest now. There was no point in chasing a relationship that wasn’t going to last. She just wasn’t the right one for him. He hoped, in time, that she’d find someone who made her feel the way Róisín made him feel.
Chapter 34
Róisín was finding it extremely difficult to keep her chin up. She’d called the estate agent and gone online looking for suitable alternative premises, but it only showed her that Nourriture was perfect where it was, with the beach and all the charm of the village on her side. If she moved to the local larger town or even to a city, the charm would be gone.
Even though things were getting her down, she was very glad that she had made one decision. After her talk with Rob, and particularly after her tears in the car, she’d finally admitted to herself that she didn’t want to bring Jacques’ child into the world – even if it meant that she risked never having a baby. It wasn’t just that the child would be fatherless, it was more than that. She had changed. The business, her family, the miscarriages, and now what she felt for Rob, it was all churning up a storm inside her and she needed time to just be herself and live her own life. It would be totally wrong to bring a child into the equation, it simply wouldn’t work. It wasn’t with the right person. Jacques was truly gone and that part of her life was gone with him. She would have to trust in the future and whatever that held for her.
Now that she’d finally made that decision, it gave her time to mull over the other things pressing in on her at the moment: the future of Nourriture, and her sister’s future. She was really worried about her. Liv had promised she’d change her ways after she’d found her passed out the other night. She’d vowed to be sensible and not get into such a state again. For the first time in their lives, Róisín didn’t know if she trusted her sister’s words.
It was early in the morning and as Róisín finished her coffee, she glanced at the clock yet again: 8.12 a.m. and still no sign of Liv. She’d called her twice already and she really had to get to the shop.
‘Liv?’ she called out. ‘I have to go. I’m late as it is and I can’t leave Brigid on her own.’
There was no answer. Sighing, Róisín went to her sister’s bedroom. The tray she’d brought in with tea and toast and a bowl of porridge lay there on Martin’s side of the bed, untouched.
‘Ah Liv! Seriously! I woke you and told you I needed to go.’
‘Huh?’ she said. ‘I fell back asleep.’
‘Yes,’ she sighed. ‘I can see that.’ The smell of stale booze in the room was awful. Róisín pulled back the curtains and opened the window. ‘Listen, I need you to make a bit of an effort. I need to get to Nourriture now.’
‘I can’t do the kids today. Will you drop them off at Mum and Dad’s?’ She turned over and pulled the duvet over her head.
‘Liv!’ Róisín barked. ‘This isn’t fair. Mum is up to her tonsils with guests at this time of the morning. Dad is still away with Jimmy. She can’t keep an eye on the children while she’s cooking and serving. I can’t have them at the shop. You have to wake up.’
‘Just get out!’ Liv shouted. ‘Leave me alone. Stop going on at me constantly. I told you I can’t cope with those two today. They do my head in and I can’t be held responsible for what I’ll do if they start moaning and telling me they’re bored.’
Róisín bit her lip. She hated when Liv talked about Billy and Jess like this.
‘Liv,’ she said gently, dropping onto the bed. ‘Help me out here, sweetie. They’re your children. You’re the adult here. Can’t you drag yourself up and out? Take them to the playground or the beach. Bring a ball and they’ll be happy. You don’t need a picnic even. Drop into me and I’ll happily feed you all.’
‘I can’t go near sand with my arm. I can’t do anything. So you take over. After all, you’re better at everything than I am.’
‘What are you on about?’ Róisín said.
‘Oh you are,’ Liv said. ‘You’re the golden girl, Róisín. Everything I touch turns to shit. So save my kids and take them away from me.’
‘Liv, please, stop this talk. You’re a great mum. You’re a brilliant wife and we all love you.’
‘Get out!’ she yelled. ‘Take the kids or you’ll be sorry.’
She pulled the duvet right up and over her face and lay there like a corpse.
‘Liv. What’s going on? Do you want me to call someone? Like the doctor? Are you really depressed?’
In one swift action Liv jumped out of the bed and threw her arms in the air. ‘Now, I’m up! Happy?’
‘Please Liv …’ Róisín felt tears burning her eyes. ‘I’m only trying to help …’
‘Well don’t,’ Liv said through gritted teeth. ‘All those things you just said … bullshit. I’m a dreadful mother and an even worse wife. Why else do you think Martin’s been shagging someone else for the last year? Why do you think he spends more time in America than here?’
‘What?’ Róisín’s heart nearly stopped. She stared at her sister. ‘Martin adores you.’
‘Did. He’s a great actor when it suits him. But it turns out he’s had this younger, prettier and wealthier version putting out for him. Who can blame him?’ she said as her face crumpled.
‘Oh honey, why didn’t you tell us?’ Róisín asked.
Liv put her face in her hands. ‘I thought we’d get through it. He said he’d leave her. He said he wanted to be with us. But it turns out, he wants the kids but not me.’
‘The bastard,’ Róisín said as fury boiled inside her.
Liv fell heavily onto the bed, her shoulders drooping. ‘It’s not his fault,’ she whispered. ‘Look at the state of me. Everything I do is a mess.’
‘Is this why you’ve been drinking?’ Róisín asked.
Liv nodded miserably. ‘I don’t think I’m an alcoholic,’ she said. ‘In fact, I’m even crap at drinking. I get awful hangovers and I feel sick most of the time. I just wanted to numb the pain.’
Róisín sat down beside her, took Liv in her arms and stroked her hair.
‘I’ll help you any way I can. We’ll get through this together, OK?’
‘I feel like such a failure,’ she said sadly. ‘All I have going for me is that I’m a wife and mother. I’m not like you. I don’t have ambition or a business brain. I’m a total washout.’
‘Don’t you ever say that,’ Róisín said, holding her face gently. ‘You’re a wonderful person. You’re just a bit banjaxed at the moment. But you’ll bounce back. I know you will.’
‘Why can’t I be more like you, Róisín? You have it all worked out. I see the way Mum and Dad look at you and talk about you. They’re so proud. What have I ever done? Get married and have kids. And now I’ve messed up both royally.’
‘Liv, you don’t know the half of it,’ Róisín said. ‘I’m not the golden girl you think I am. Besides, I’m probably going to lose my business and end up homeless, plus I couldn’t find love if it was standing
in front of me decorated with a neon sign.’
They hugged each other tightly.
‘We’ll get out of the hole we’re in,’ Róisín said. ‘Let’s do it together, yeah?’
Liv nodded.
Róisín looked at her watch. ‘I’m sorry, but I have to get to the shop. I’ll bring the children with me. Why don’t you have a shower and follow me when you’re ready?’
Liv nodded and she stroked her cheek. ‘You’re a superstar, and don’t ever let anyone make you feel anything less, you hear?’
The children were happily watching cartoons when Róisín swooped in and announced they were coming to work for a bit.
‘Why are we going to your work?’ Billy asked.
‘Because I need help,’ she lied. ‘I think you two would be perfect. If you do lots of super jobs I’ll give you some ice cream.’
‘At breakfast time?’ Jess asked hopefully.
‘Uh-huh,’ Róisín said amidst cheers.
She careered into the shop ten minutes later with Jess in her arms and Billy bouncing alongside her.
‘Sorry I’m so late,’ she said to an astonished Brigid. ‘I brought some fantastic helpers,’ she said brightly.
‘Our mum is in her bed hiding,’ Billy stated. ‘We do her head in,’ he added sadly.
A knowing look passed between Róisín and Brigid as the other woman sized things up instantly.
‘Oh darling,’ Brigid said dropping to her hunkers. ‘I’m sure you don’t. You’re such a great little man. I’d say your mum has a headache or a sick tummy.’
‘She cooked her arm,’ Jess said.
‘I heard,’ Brigid said. ‘That really hurts, so that’s probably why she’s a bit muddled up right now. But it’s lucky you guys arrived when you did. I have a major problem.’
‘What is it?’ Billy looked anxious.
‘I have all these cupcakes and I need help putting little crystallised flowers on top.’
‘We could help, and then Auntie Róisín said we can have ice cream.’
The Perfect Gift Page 27
