by Jane Routley
“So if I drink the water I could start to glow?”
“Depends on if you’ve got some magical ability.”
“If you had a crystal, would you have magical powers?”
I felt a shock go down my spine. The pain was still there. I pulled myself back from it.
“The crystal only enhances what’s there. It can’t give you what you don’t have.” I said, keeping my voice as steady as I could and trying not to clench my jaw.
“You’ve been tested, though?”
“We’re all tested, when we come to mating age. A team of mages tours the country looking for candidates. Those who respond to the crystal are taken away to College to train and have a crystal implanted in their foreheads.”
“Why foreheads?”
“Hell, I don’t know.” I swiped a stick though some fern heads breaking them off. “Always burns me up when I see a flying mouse. To think a stupid mouse could have more magical power than me. Me—with my lineage.”
I still remembered that day so clearly—curse it. How I’d started out so certain; my mother was a mage, so why would I doubt myself? How I couldn’t move even the smallest coin. My chest still hurt remembering the stern look on the face of the testing mage when I begged him to let me keep trying.
Eff had met me in the hallway afterwards hugging me and saying, At least I get to keep you with me, even though I could tell she was disappointed for me. I didn’t know which I hated remembering more, the pain of failing the test or how I’d thrown Eff’s comforting words back in her face. I’d told her I hated it at Willow and I didn’t want to share her stupid exile, before running off to my room to weep and wail.
I must have let something show. Shadow said tentatively, “It must have been hard, failing that test.”
I swallowed hard.
“We survive. I’ll never be a noble, but at least I’m well born. I live in a good house that mostly doesn’t leak. I read and write, I have a lineage. I just... It’s just I get so bored. Every day is the same.”
“You will get out of here,” said Shadow. “Wanting to can take you.”
“No, I won’t. I’m not going to leave Eff alone. She’s been like a mother to me, and she needs me. This place was falling apart before I took over. Eff was giving all her time to educating the peasants, but because she’s no good with figures: there wasn’t much work and no improvements. Made it hard for them to buy food in winter. Even—”
“That’s not the real reason, is it?” said Shadow. Amazing how much he understood things.
“No,” I said and I told him all about Eff’s illness.
“Sounds like what we call broken nerves,” said Shadow.
“If I were a mage it would be different,” I said. “I couldn’t go on the Spice Road, because that would mean leaving Eff, but at least I could live in Elayison. A mage can do the two-day journey to Elayison in half a day. Bright used to come down to visit us all the time, before the scandal.
“And I’d own this estate. I’d be able to reform how we do things here instead of going on in the same old broken way. Build a water wheel to irrigate the high fields. Pay wages instead of relying on labour duties. Really make a difference. And do... I don’t know what. Interesting things, like... I could go to the theatre every night, and parties, and wear silk and meet people who don’t talk about crops all the time and maybe...”
I stopped myself. I wasn’t going to let Shadow know about the tall slim handsome artist or writer or actor or scientist I was going to meet one day, the sort of man who I could laugh with over dinner and love myself stupid with in bed later.
“But none of this is going to happen. Things will go on in the same old way. I’ll never meet anyone interesting out here. The family will come every year and call me Aurora’s Mistake and Ghostie, and make snide remarks because I can’t afford new clothes. And Impi will keep on saying there’s no money to pay me for the work I do even though I’ve started to make this place pay. Even a ‘thank you’ would be nice. I won’t even be given an allowance out of my mother’s estate, because no one knows if my mother is still alive or not. I’ll waste my life here and never do anything.”
I’d broken my stick into little pieces. I threw it away with a huff of disgust
“Hey,” said the ghost. He put his hand on my back. “Hey, I am sorry I upset you. I should have thought. I am trying to learn how things work here.” He rubbed my back. I do love having a man with nice strong hands rub my back.
“Oh, stop it,” I said, blinking my eyes. They were suddenly full of tears, curse it. “Sympathy makes me go all gushy.”
He let out a huff of laughter and squeezed me round the shoulder. “Yeah, I know how that works. Do not worry. I will find your mother for you.”
Thinking about my mother put some fire back into my belly.
“I’ve done perfectly well without her all these years,” I said. “If you don’t find out what happened, it will hardly matter.”
“You said you would get some money if I found out what happened to her.”
“I suppose an allowance would come in useful. Even stuck out here.”
MARELLASON’S HUT WAS a split-shingle building at the top of a steep rise called Marella’s Pinch. We were panting hard by the time the trees thinned out. The hut was surrounded by a fence of wooden stakes about head height, pointed at the top and silver with age, designed to keep out the wildcats. The hut’s shutters were closed, but smoke rose from the stove pipe in the roof.
As we came up to the fence I could see through the slats to where Klea was sitting on an old log outside with her back to us. Something about her hunched posture spoke of sadness. I called out her name.
She glanced briefly at us over her shoulder, stood and ran into the hut, slamming the door behind her.
“Klea?” I shouted. I flung open the gate, rushed over to the hut door and, finding it barred, banged on it. “Klea, are you all right?”
“Yes, yes, Just a moment! Wait there,” came the voice from inside.
“What is the matter?” asked Shadow
“Klea, I brought some food,” I called into the hut, for lack of anything better to say. “You want some?”
After a moment she called back. “Thanks. Back in a moment. You start without me.”
“Was she crying?” whispered the ghost. I wondered that too.
“That’s none of our business,” I told him firmly, although my own brain was agog with curiosity. He shrugged and sat down on the log, taking off his gloves and scarf but leaving on his hooded robes. I sat down beside him and offered him some bread and cheese from my bundle. We admired the hut and I pointed out the fine old apple tree that I’d taken some cuttings from. We were filling up air—both of us wondering what was wrong with Klea.
When she finally came out of the hut, I was pleased to see that Shadow stood up and bowed in a very mannerly way, and waited till he was asked before he sat down again. Quick on the uptake, this ghost.
Klea’s eyes looked suspiciously red, but otherwise she was all smiles and lightness. I judged it best not to press for an explanation
“What’s the news? Find the letter?”
Had she been crying about the letter? Was it that serious? Surely not. I wished she’d tell me what it was so I could comfort her, but I didn’t feel able to ask.
“I took a look in Chatoyant’s room, but I got interrupted. She has one of those mage-proof chests. I don’t suppose you know the combination.”
“Curse it, I wonder who would? Probably no one, knowing Toy. But you’ll keep trying, won’t you?” asked Klea.
“Oh, yes. But in the meantime, I had a problem with Shadow and I thought you could look after him for me.”
“Problem?” Klea winked at the ghost. “Is he too virile for you?”
“Illuminus is after him, for some reason,” I said. “Shadow says he wants to kill him.”
“He does,” said Shadow.
“Why would he want to do that, little Shadow?” asked
Klea.
Shadow dropped his gaze. “I’m an illegal ghost. Isn’t that enough of a reason?”
“Illy’s ruthless, but not like that. I’m guessing there’s something more here.”
“You might as well tell her,” I said.
He shrugged and told her most of what he’d told me about the crystal mine.
“That’s quite a story. Are you sure it was Illy?” asked Klea as he finished.
“I saw his face. Both times. And his voice is very distinctive.”
“True. What was he doing at a mining camp in the mountains, I wonder?”
I was surprised that she’d believed Shadow so quickly. “Why would he do such a terrible thing?” I asked.
“Flara’s get are capable of anything. That’s how she brought them up. And all of us are short of money.”
“You don’t dress like it,” I said, before I could stop myself.
Klea laughed. “You dear little country mouse,” she said, not unkindly. She struck a pose with her nose in the air. “One simply must dress!” She dropped the pose and said, “My couturier was my biggest creditor when I lived in Elayison, and it’s probably true for half the other nobles. I think I still owe him a hundred lumins.” She nudged my arm. “So what’s this one like as a lover? Much different to our men? I assume he’s got a prick and balls. Are they a good size?”
I opened my mouth to correct her misconception, but Shadow interrupted. “Do you mind?” he snapped, red faced. “I’m a person, not a piece of meat.”
Klea stared at him. “He’s gone a funny colour.”
“He does that when you talk about pleasuring,” I said. “Embarrassment. Apparently it’s a taboo for ghosts.”
“But how do they get baby ghosts? They’re not really undead, are they?”
“We do it. We just don’t talk about it all the time,” snapped the ghost through gritted teeth. “It’s a private matter between the... the...”
“The people pleasuring,” I finished helpfully.
He stared at us and blew out a breath. “Dhrtyh wilkjhh!”
“I’ve not pleasured with him,” I told Klea. “And I don’t plan to. The last thing I need is to bring another little half-breed into this world.”
“Really? Is it that bad? I never thought... I’m sorry, I guess you don’t like being called Ghostie.”
“Nor half breed, nor blood pollution, nor Aurora’s Mistake. And I don’t like everyone telling me I look sick all the time, either.”
“So are you trying to avoid breeding?”
“I’m not eating meat, if that’s what you mean. But who knows how ghost spurt works? Maybe it’s stronger than man spurt. I’m pretty sure my mother didn’t plan me.”
“Wilkjythith dyrhury,” said the ghost. “Listen. I’m going to go in here and look at the arrangements. And you can have a lovely chat about my prick and my spurt and my hose and my nozzle and the length of my fingers if you like. Call me when you’ve got it out of your system.”
“Wow! Passionate.” Klea gazed after him.
“Klea, promise me you won’t try to make love to him unless he wants it. Things are obviously very different in ghost land.”
“Clearly.”
“He must be afraid. He’s got no one but us, and Illuminus does seem to be after him. Think of him like some child we have to care for. Or your brother. Klea?”
“I was curious.”
“Well, don’t go undressing him either. He’s really shy. His prick’s quite normal.”
“The same colour as the rest...?”
“Yes. Klea? Promise you won’t upset him.”
My impression had always been that Klea was a kind person, but power seems to make mages insensitive to other people’s feelings and you can never be too sure.
She reached out and pinched my cheek. “I know how to handle mundanes. No, I really do. And I’ve no interest in a reluctant prick. That’s just awful. So about this search? How far did you get?”
“Only as far as Toy’s treasure chest.”
“Damn. She takes herself seriously, doesn’t she? I mean, what would she have to hide that was so imp—Hey! I wonder if she and Illy are in the smuggling together.”
I tried to cast my mind back, but couldn’t remember whether Toy and Illuminus had been especially friendly the night before. “I thought they hated each other.”
“Money has a way of bringing people together.”
“Would Scintillant be involved?” I asked. As far as I could tell, he and Illuminus didn’t speak. Everyone said so.
“Oh, him. Does he think of anything but his prick? You’re not hoping for anything in that area, are you? Because you won’t get anything but a disease from him.”
I felt my face go red. I hadn’t expected Klea to be so perceptive.
“He’s a mage. He heals himself,” I protested.
“He’s a dirty little ride rat, is what he is. Sorry,” She put her hand on my arm. “I shouldn’t be so blunt. I thought he cared about me once upon a time but... it was all empty charm. He can’t keep it in his pants.”
“That’s him,” I said. I pulled a face and Klea pulled a face and we both found ourselves grinning.
“I usually make love with Scinty once during the Blessing,” I said. “I don’t get a lot of loving here.”
“What? But all the hunky peasants....”
“When I was younger and hot blooded, yes, I did that; but now I manage the place, it causes trouble between everyone. Anyway, at my age I’d like someone special, not just a quick pleasuring. What are you doing?”
“Looking for grey hairs. You’re speaking like an oldie.”
“Stop it. Life is serious out here.”
Klea let out a derisive-sounding snort so I tried to push her off her log. She laughed and pushed me back. It was like being with Bright again.
“Well I hope you’re not looking to Scintillant for a true love.”
I suppressed a guilty twinge. “Nobody would be that stupid,” I said, too heartily.
“Lumina is,” said Klea. “I know she’s asked him to be her consort.”
“Bright Lady! She’s welcome to him,” I said, in a voice which sounded fake to me. Klea pulled a face, and I decided to change the topic before I made a complete idiot of myself. “Do you know a Hagen Stellason?”
“Who’s he? Handsome?” She grinned.
I laughed. “No. Pleasant looking, but not memorable. He’s some new servant of Great-Uncle Nate’s.”
“What? Nate hasn’t got rid of Bundle, has he?”
“No, Bundle’s still stalking about the place. This Hagen claims to be a secretary.”
“Oooh!” said Klea.
“What do you mean, ‘Oooh’?”
“He must be some kind of intelligencer. I wonder who for. Blazeann, perhaps. Though I can’t see Nate... Oh, blackened hell! It might be Lucient.”
“What? Your brother?”
“No. Great-Uncle Lucient.”
“What, Lucient the Premier? The Empress’s Lucient?”
“It’s sure to be him. He was very annoyed over how that scandal over Bright came out of nowhere. He might have a spy in the household now.”
“Well, this Hagen Stellason seems to be everywhere I go. Sneaking about checking people’s rooms. Interrupting me when I’m sneaking about checking people’s rooms.”
“He mustn’t find my letter!” She jumped up and seized my arm, her face all serious now. “You have to go back right now and check the rest of Toy’s room. Now. Get into that box. He could be searching the room as we speak. Quick, go. Go. Now!”
“Klea, what’s in this letter? What have you done?”
“Not now. Go and get it. Please. Go on.”
She pushed me toward the path.
“You’ll look after Shadow?”
“I’ll look after him. I promise not to harass him. Go find that letter, Shine. This is serious.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
SUCH WAS THE panic in Klea’s voice tha
t I started back towards the house at a run. But I slowed to a walk soon enough. If Hagen was going to search Chatoyant’s room, he’d have done it by now. I was really beginning to feel uneasy about this letter. What if it was something serious and I got caught up in a fight between mages? Despite Shola’s Pact, a mundane like me who got entangled in their plots would be disposable in such a struggle and likely to come to serious harm.
Also I didn’t like the idea of Klea crying alone. It seemed so lonely. I must find that letter for her.
I’d kept a wizened apple and some cheese separate from Klea’s supplies and when I came to the prayer tree, I ducked in under the low branches and crunched through the fallen leaves. Feeling slightly embarrassed (Eff would have told me I was being superstitious), I glanced around to see make sure I was alone before placing my small offering on the Mooncat altar. I crossed my arms over my chest and bowed to the altar, whispering the prayers that I heard the peasants say to the nature spirits that inhabited their world.
“And thank you for not eating me last night,” I added, in case it was all true.
“You’re welcome,” said a voice behind me. I almost jumped out of my skin.
Spinning round I saw a grinning man leaning against a rock. He was so shaggy-haired and dishevelled, it took me a moment to recognise him. But I knew his voice and his grin hadn’t changed.
“Dannel? Dannel Graceson? Bless! You scared the life out of me. What are you doing here? I thought you were in the army.”
I felt such a rush of pleasure to see my old playmate and lover that I lunged towards him before I thought it might not be appropriate and stopped.
He was wearing long Blessing robes.
“A man can come home on a visit. How are you, Shiney? Or are you all grown up and proper now and only called Marm?”
“No not really.” I wasn’t sure what to say. “You sod! You scared the life out of me. Hey, your brother was just here.”
“I saw him last night. He visited our mother. Not the happiest of visits. She’s still mad at him. Not lucky in her children, poor Ma. No girls and both her sons away, I mean,” he said, almost as an afterthought. He got up from the rock and started moving toward the path, and I followed, and soon we were walking down the little hunting trail towards the road.
