by Dawn Sister
She was pretty, Danny noted: dark hair, pretty brown eyes. He realised he was staring when she returned his scrutiny. For a moment their eyes met and then Danny looked away, his eyes darting quickly to Tristan before giving her a slightly abashed look. She smiled, and Danny thought he saw a flash of disappointment on her pretty face. She shrugged slightly, smiled and left, telling them she would be back in thirty minutes to do Tristan’s obs again.
Danny turned back to Tristan who was regarding him with a curious expression on his face. He had observed the silent exchange and would certainly be asking about it at a future date. Right now hunger was still on his mind,
“I think I would like somethin’ to eat?” he asked, “Are you hungry too?”
“Am I ever?” Danny exclaimed, relieved to not have to explain his reaction to the nurse just yet, “What do you want?”
“Now there’s a dangerous question with several possibly dangerous answers.” Tristan’s smile broadened and his eyes twinkled, his eyebrows flicking comically. Danny gasped with shock, relief, and pleasure. He was still there then; the old Tristan; the Tristan he liked the best,
“Whatever you have in mind might prove a little difficult with all the CCTV around here.” He mused, blushing,
“In that case.” Tristan said, pulling Danny to him and planting a firm kiss on his soft lips, “You c’n get me a donut, I like it when you bring me donuts.” Danny blushed again, chuckling. Now there was a good memory to hold onto: Danny and donuts in their dorm room,
“I’ll bring you donuts, Tristan, even if I have to make them myself.” Danny promised, because he was just so relieved that his friend was there, smiling and making jokes and sharing good memories, “I didn’t mean to bring up a bad memory when I called you babe just now.” Danny apologised. Tristan took his hand and held it tightly,
“You c’n call me babe as much as you want, because I remember how good it felt when you said it last night.” Tristan whispered, “Danny?”
“Yeah?” Danny gazed into those lovely blue eyes,
“You ain’t gonna go too far are you?” Tristan looked anxious again, “You don’t really have to make donuts for me.”
“I know and no, I promise I won’t go far.” Danny squeezed his hand, “I think there’s a vending machine just down the hall. Don’t think they do donuts though.”
“Oh no!” Tristan groaned, in mock disappointment, then smiled, a shy, sparkling smile, “Anythin’ you c’n get will be fine, because it was got by you.” Danny grinned and shook his head, mumbling to himself as he stood and left the room,
“Sometimes I wonder that you got into college at all, Tristan Gillman, with grammar like that. And I thought you were the one that wanted to be a teacher.”
“Shut up asshole, ‘n’ get me somethin’ to eat.” Tristan called after him. And Danny left, chuckling to himself.
Tristan could hear him giggling down the hall and couldn’t help giggling himself. He lay back on his pillows with a sigh. He gingerly adjusted the oxygen tube beneath his nose and looked in surprise at the IV line in his arm. He hadn’t even noticed that until now. He caught the thin tube between his fingers and followed the line with his eyes to its conclusion where it was attached to an intravenous drip,
“I wouldn’t fiddle with that too much if I were you, Tristan.” The pretty nurse had reappeared. He jumped slightly since he hadn’t heard her enter the room, “Sorry if I startled you.” She apologised.
Tristan gave her a once over glance, since he was curious as to what had interested Danny. She was pretty, but he had never seen the attraction of women himself. She wasn’t much older than him, probably still a student nurse,
“There has to be someone in here with you just in case.” She continued, to explain her presence, trying to ignore the fact that he was watching her intensely with very pleasant blue eyes, “Danny said he was going to get you something to eat.”
“I haven’t eaten since yesterday breakfast, I’m starvin’.” Tristan explained. He leaned forward to glance at the girl’s ID badge, “Clara.” He said her name, flashing her one of his extra charming grins, because, although he did not see the attraction of girls, he knew very well the effect he had on them. He was satisfied with the result as a slight blush appeared on her cheeks. He frowned as he registered what she had said, “Just in case of what?” he asked curiously,
“The drug you were given stopped your breathing, Tristan. That’s why you’re hooked up to all these machines. Didn’t Danny tell you?” Clara asked him gently. She broke the news as carefully and kindly as she could but Tristan was still shocked and all he could do was shake his head.
How could something like that have slipped Danny’s mind? That’s why Danny had looked and sounded so relieved when he had first woken up? Clara sat down on the chair beside his bed,
“Did he also tell you that one of your other friends saved your life?” she asked softly,
“No!” Tristan exclaimed, “Who?”
“Reuben, I think Danny said his name was. He gave you mouth to mouth until the paramedics got there.”
“Shit.” The word fell from his mouth in a long exclamation of surprise and gratitude. How would he ever be able to thank Reuben for that?
“And your other friends, they were treated for cuts and bruises because they fought off the guy that drugged you.”
“Jason and Scott?” shit they’d all played a part in his rescue, “And Danny?”
“Danny didn’t get hurt in that fight, at least he told us he didn’t. He has a good sized bruise on his cheek though.” Clara mused, looking towards the door. She didn’t see the remorseful grimace on Tristan’s face. When she turned back his expression had changed back to normal, “You know he hasn’t left your side once, even for a bathroom break, since nine o’clock last night?”
“He hasn’t?” Tristan asked, a dreamy look coming into his blue eyes,
“Everyone here thinks it’s just adorable. We’d all kill to have a boyfriend that was half as attentive as he is. You’re a lucky guy, Tristan.”
Tristan stared at her a little too long. His first instinct was to tell her that Danny wasn’t his boyfriend. There had been so many times that phrase had tripped off his tongue in the past in response to rumours and hearsay. This time though, was it true? Was Danny now his boyfriend?
“You are together, right?” Clara asked, “I’m sorry if I made a presumption, but we did see you both kissing on the CCTV.” She blushed furiously at her admission of almost voyeurism, “There was a lot of debate since you just don’t seem, well, the type; both of you I mean.” She stuttered,
“The type?” Tristan asked, his eyes suddenly sparkling with mirth. He was highly amused by her questions and her assumptions, but he was more than used to that kind of query, especially from girls, because she was right, he wasn’t what most of the world saw as typically gay,
“I’m really sorry if you think I’m being nosey.” She shook her head and looked away, “If you’re not together then I’m sorry for assuming, it’s just that you seem so, well, close.”
Tristan regarded her. Were they together, he and Danny? They needed to talk about all the things they had said to each other the day before, while they had lain in each other’s arms. They needed to talk about all the things that had happened since then, before he could answer questions about their relationship with any kind of conviction,
“We’re roommates and good friends, but as for bein’ together I guess that’s somethin’ you’re gonna have to ask him.” Tristan said, neutrally, not wanting to give an answer for his friend, since it was by no means carved in stone. They had slept together once. It had been amazing, but so much had happened since then that the future was very unclear,
“So if you’re not together…..” she asked leaving the sentence hanging and Tristan regarded her with a smirk,
“Are you asking me if he’s available?” he asked and Clara blushed again, shaking her head slightly and avoiding his gaze. Tristan’
s eyes widened,
“You’re askin’ if I am?” he asked incredulously. Despite knowing that women found him attractive he still found it difficult to handle when they showed any interest in him,
“Maybe.” She admitted, grimacing.
Tristan remembered the brief exchange of glances between her and Danny just before he had left to find some food. He couldn’t help thinking that she might have a better chance with him, despite the fact that it would make him insanely jealous. The situation was just a little messed up and his expression was almost a mirror image of her awkward grimace. He always found in situations like this, that honesty was the best policy,
“Clara, I’m really flattered, but I am actually gay.” He explained and she let out a disappointed sigh, followed by a pout,
“And Danny?” she asked. That was not so easy to answer,
“That’s somethin’ else you’re gonna have t’ask him.” Tristan told her, trying not to sound too unsure and insecure.
Just when he was beginning to think that he might feign sleep to get out of answering any more awkward questions Danny returned with an armful of snacks and saved the day once more. Tristan gave him a “thank god you’re back” look and Danny regarded him curiously.
Clara stood as Danny appeared and walked to the door,
“We’re just at the nurses’ station if you need us, Tristan. Just press your call button. Hi Danny,” she brushed past him, smiling, “Bye Danny.” Danny watched her leave then turned back to Tristan,
“What’s up?” he asked as he approached and tipped the armful of snacks onto the bed,
“Nurse Clara was just being a little too chatty.” Tristan grimaced. Danny chuckled.
Tristan was a good looking guy and he had had to deal with his fair share of female admirers but Danny always found it amusing how uncomfortable Tristan was with it. If it had been a guy making a pass at him Tristan would have no qualms about flirting, but he always seemed so wary when a woman flirted with him,
“I got you a bucket load of whatever they had in that vending machine.” Danny said, indicating the pile of candy bars and bags of chips and snacks lying strewn across Tristan’s legs. The sight of all that food, even if it was mostly rubbish effectively diverted the subject away from the pretty nurse Clara,
“Shit, Danny, did you empty the machine?”
“Yes, pretty much.” Tristan regarded the pile and selected a bag of corn chips,
“Not donuts, but almost as good.” He grinned. Danny laughed and sat down beside him on the bed making his own selection from the pile.
They ate in companionable silence for a little while then Tristan spoke,
“Did you think she was pretty?” he asked quietly,
“Who?” Danny asked, his mouth full of candy bar,
“Nurse Clara.” Danny frowned and looked towards the door then back at his friend and shrugged,
“She was a pretty I guess.”
“She asked if we were together.” Danny’s eyes widened and he swallowed his mouthful,
“What did you say to that?” he asked, curious to know what Tristan’s response might have been,
“I told her she would have to ask you.” He met Danny’s eyes as he continued, “I guess that’s something I think I need to ask you too.”
“What?” Danny asked, puzzled,
“What are we Danny?” Tristan asked him,
“What do you mean, Tris?” Danny asked, puzzled,
“When Clara asked if we were together I didn’t know what to say. Are we together? Are we still just friends, are we boyfriends? What?” Danny saw vulnerability, insecurity and uncertainty in Tristan’s blue eyes and decided he did not like that look at all. What could he say to make him feel better though? He knew they could never be just friends again, not after what they had done, but did Tristan want them to be more? Yesterday had been his idea, he had wanted it and Tristan had surrendered to his desires, but was it something that he wanted to take further. Danny found himself hoping he would,
“What is it that you wanted to say to her?” Danny asked his friend, carefully, as if testing the waters, “Because “roommates” doesn’t seem to cover it any more really, does it?”
“No it doesn’t.” Tristan said carefully, “Neither does “just friends”, though.” They both smirked at the phrase they had used so often when they had been dispelling rumours about their close friendship.
Danny realised that they had been doing that for as long as they had known each other. Apparently sharing a room with an openly gay guy meant that you were definitely sleeping together despite the fact that Danny had almost constant female companions and Tristan male ones. That would be something that would change if they were officially together. The two young men regarded each other, unable to think of anything to say. They both needed time but they both needed to talk too,
“Tris, we’ve only spent one night together, unless you include last night, and that hardly counts. And then there’s everything that’s happened since then. We need time to think.”
“You mean time apart?” Tristan sounded suddenly very anxious and scared and Danny definitely did not like the fact that it was him making his friend feel that way,
“Tristan,” he said, trying to sound reassuring but his tone sounded more scolding than anything else, “If I thought we needed time apart I wouldn’t have just spent an entire night holding you in my arms.” He stopped, god this was hard; talking about this. He was usually the one to talk without taking a breath and Tristan would often be the one telling him to shut up. He knew that Tristan needed him right now, not as a lover, but as a friend. The incident just before he had gone to get some food had made him realise that.
Tristan had been through an ordeal that would probably take him some time to get over, if he ever did. Did he need the added angst of a boyfriend who was just coming to terms with the fact that he might be gay? Danny didn’t think so. But then there had been the great sex, that Danny definitely wanted more of, but did Tristan?
Tristan had twined his fingers with Danny’s and pulled him closer on the bed. He placed his free hand on Danny’s chest and he felt the muscles twitch beneath his shirt at the contact. Danny’s breath hitched in his throat,
“You’re thinkin’ I don’t need a friend who’s just comin’ to terms with the implications of sleepin’ with his gay best friend, right?” he asked softly, not meeting Danny’s eye,
“Shit, are you a mind reader?” Danny chuckled. Tristan smiled and shook his head,
“No.” he said, “but you should know that every emotion plays like a movie across your face, Danny. That’s what I like about you, what I’ve always liked about you.” He lifted his head to look into Danny’s grey/green eyes, “There’s a lot of things I’ve always liked about you, Danny.” He confessed, “From the very first moment we met. I never made any move on you because I wanted a friend that wasn’t a potential boyfriend. I had some shit to deal with when I started College last year, but I’ve dealt with it now.”
“And now what?” Danny asked him, “What is it that you want Tris, because I’ll respect it, whatever it is. If you want something more or if you want less, I’ll respect that.” Tristan could see the emotions playing on his friend’s face again: sadness, respect, resignation,
“Shit, Danny, what the hell would make you think I would want less? When it comes to you, I want everything.”
Danny regarded him with wide eyes, “Really?” he asked, sounding like a kid who’d been given a lifetime’s supply of ice cream. Tristan nodded, laughing through teary eyes,
