by Hanna Hart
“Yeah,” Madelyn said, unconvinced.
“If we don’t have something by next week, we’ll spring for a hotel or something. I don’t want to keep driving out here.”
Madelyn nodded. “Agreed,” she said.
The drive home to Kerhonkson felt especially long that night. Madelyn felt like she was hitting dead ends everywhere she turned. She had conquered her illness, but she had no love to share life with. She’d found her son, but she couldn’t get close to him. She resumed a job that she enjoyed but couldn’t make headway for her client.
On top of these frustrations, she felt so, so alone.
Reflecting on Travis—back when things had been good between them—made her sick to her stomach.
Things had been so fiery between them. So passionate. He would have been a wonderful father. At least, that was what she thought back then.
Then everything fell apart.
It was a strange feeling to know that a little piece of you was out there somewhere and you couldn’t grab hold of it. Like having a sibling you never knew about, only worse. This was her creation, living with her neighbor, who wouldn’t seem to let Madelyn in arm’s reach of her son.
Maybe Jaxon knew Madelyn was Sutton’s mother. He was certainly rich enough to hire a private investigator for himself.
But then, why would he?
He got what he wanted out of the adoption. He got Sutton.
Madelyn’s existence in Sutton’s life was just a footnote to a story Jaxon wasn’t reading.
A sob elbowed its way up her throat, but Madelyn swallowed it down.
She turned the radio up and lost herself in the music all the way home.
She didn’t get home until after eleven that night and had trouble falling asleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she would see Sutton.
Madelyn awoke the next morning still feeling exhausted and sleepless. She knew she’d fallen asleep at some point during the night, but it was mostly tossing and turning.
She had turned her alarm off and wouldn’t have been awake so early if it weren’t for her doorbell chiming off through the house.
Madelyn adjusted her pajama shirt over her pale-yellow shorts and ran a lazy hand through her hair before pulling the front door open.
In front of her stood Jaxon, looking as fresh as a daisy.
“There she is,” he said with warmth in his tone. Looking her pajamas up and down, Jaxon laughed and said, “Sorry. Did I wake you?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head and trying desperately to wipe the sleep out of her eyes. “Yes. Sort of.”
“I’m so sorry,” he said, continued to chuckle. “You’re a hard girl to get ahold of these days. Is this a coincidence, or is this your evil plan to get me to miss you?”
She smirked and leaned against the doorframe. “Is it working?”
Jaxon looked her over once more and his demeanor changed. He shifted his weight and grabbed her hand, suddenly lovestruck. Without warning, the handsome man leaned down to kiss her.
His lips were soft and attentive as they gingerly pressed against hers.
“What do you think?” he asked as the kiss broke.
This was the only time in her life she ever understood how it felt to melt after a kiss. She felt her legs go warm and weak and her heart fluttered against her chest.
“Hi,” was all she could say, her tone as sweet as honey.
“Hi,” he repeated with a blush. “Look, don’t think I’m trying to schmooze you with a kiss, but I have two really big favors to ask.”
“Okay,” she said.
“Are you free tonight?”
Madelyn nodded, still barely able to comprehend what just happened between them. “Yeah, I’m free.”
“I was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner?”
“At your house?” she asked, her heart suddenly pulsing hart. “Of course!”
“Great, and uh, the next one is kind of...” he trailed off, wincing slightly. “It’s a big favor.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
“I was wondering if you would be able to watch Sutton for a couple of hours today?”
It was all Madelyn could do to stop herself from gasping at the request. Her whole body lit up with electricity.
“I would never ask, but my nanny is really sick, and I have a big meeting at work that I can’t have a toddler at. It would only be for a couple of—”
“Yes!” she interrupted. “Yes, of course!”
“What, seriously?” he said with a smile. “Are you sure?”
“Definitely.”
Jaxon sighed with relief. “Wow, thank you! You have no idea how big I owe you for this. I’ll be sure to be home by one, at the latest. And then I will cook you the most amazing dinner you have ever had.”
9
Jaxon
Being in Kerhonkson had its ups and downs.
The downs seemed much bigger when Jaxon first moved there.
First, he was far away from his friends and family. Second, there wasn’t a whole lot to do if you didn’t like the outdoors, which, thankfully, he did.
You had to drive out of town just to get to a mall or movie theater.
But then again, Kerhonkson helped him grow up. It was where he became a business owner and separated himself from his father’s shadow in Texas.
It was where he had fallen in love, adopted his son, and learned what it truly meant to be self-sacrificing.
While he loved his close-knit community now, he was still lacking in friends.
There was Dylan, his best friend who helped him run the ranch, and a smattering of others—Kim, Daniel, Julie, and Clayton.
But there was nobody else who had children or who was especially fond of babysitting.
So when there was an emergency at the ranch and his nanny was sick, he was suddenly in a bind about what to do.
Thankfully, his beautiful next-door neighbor was more than willing to help.
Jaxon was always wary about introducing new people to his son. He didn’t want Sutton to get attached to anyone who wasn’t going to be a permanent fixture in their lives, but he was desperate.
His worry dissipated the moment Madelyn met his son.
“Sutton, this is daddy’s friend Maddie. Can you say hi?” he said, holding his son in his arms and bringing him close to Madelyn.
His neighbor looked absolutely enamored with the boy. She reached her hand out gingerly to touch his hand and Sutton seemed equally as pleased to meet her—even if he didn’t say it quite so eloquently.
“Hi,” Sutton said, looking the woman up and down. “What’s your deal?” he asked.
Madelyn burst into a stream of adorable giggles and looked at Jaxon, red-faced and amused.
“Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “He’s not great with manners yet.”
“Something tells me he gets that from his dad,” she said with a wink.
“Hey! I am the picture of a gentleman, thank you very much,” he laughed.
“Do you want to play games with me?” Sutton asked, reaching out to be held by Madelyn. “I can be th-the king, and you can be my horse.”
Madelyn took the boy in her arms as she announced, “Sure!”
“As you can see,” he explained, “you’re going to have your hands full. Do you want a cheat sheet?”
“I don’t think I’ll need one,” she smiled.
“I’ll give you one anyhow. He loves any cartoon musical, much to my dismay. He loves buttered spaghetti with salt and pepper, and he loves—and I mean love-love-loves—playing make-believe. So, if he hasn’t turned you into an alien, a superhero, or some sort of animal by the end of the evening, I’d be shocked. Oh! And when he tells you to do a voice to match your character, don’t just laugh. He’s being completely serious.”
“Sutton expects results,” she teased, putting her fist to her palm.
Like any parent leaving their child with someone new, Jaxon’s explanation of where everything in his house was, what emerg
ency numbers Madelyn should know, along with snacks and nap times seemed to go on forever.
Finally, Madelyn set a hand on Jaxon’s shoulder and squeezed him. “It’s going to be fine,” she grinned. “Now, go to work!”
So he did.
He thought about the two of them for the rest of the day as he worked. Would they get along? Would Sutton wonder who this woman was? Was he taking too long at the office?
He cleared up a few errors, talked to Dylan briefly, and before he knew it, five hours had passed at the ranch.
When he got home, his fears about the interaction had disappeared as Sutton stood in the doorway with his arms spread from side to side, shielding him from Madelyn.
“Maddie?” he called out.
She stood behind his son with a bright smile on her face and mimed zipping her lips shut.
“You can’t talk to her right now,” Sutton announced happily.
Jaxon smiled and knelt to meet the child. “Oh, no? Why not?”
“Because I’m talking to her.”
“I just need to steal her away from you for two seconds buddy, and then you can have her ba—”
Sutton put his hand up and shook his head firmly. “We’re playing safari, and she is the giraffe princess.”
Jaxon looked up at Madelyn as she said, “I am the princess right now, but once I take my crown off, I promise you’ll be the first person I talk to.”
“The princess has no time to talk to her peasants, I see,” he teased.
The two of them laughed and Jaxon mouthed, “Was he good?” and Madelyn nodded. “Alright,” he said. “Then I’m going to start on dinner while you guys finish up, okay?”
“Okay!” Sutton said, then raced back into the expansive living room with Madelyn.
Jaxon could hear the pair playing as he prepared dinner. It was refreshing to hear his son having someone to play with. He stayed busy in the kitchen, only peering in every so often to make sure Sutton wasn’t exhausting Maddie.
He remembered that Madelyn said she liked fish, so made a seared salmon filet and lemon pasta for dinner. He loved to cook. In another world, he might have pursued a career in the kitchen.
When dinner was ready, the three of them sat at the dining room table and talked the way his family used to. He and Madelyn discussed their days, talked about their favorite shows, music, and movies, shared funny stories, and continually found ways to bring Sutton into their conversation.
“Buddy, do you want to go to grandma’s at the end of the summer?” he asked as he watched Sutton spoon the last of his peas into his mouth.
“No,” Sutton said without a second thought.
Jaxon chuckled. “Yeah, me neither. But we’re gonna go in September, okay?”
“Maybe I can get somebody else to do it?” Sutton said absent-mindedly, not looking up from his plate.
Jaxon and Madelyn exchanged amused glances. He smiled as he said, “Is that right, buddy? You’re just going to hand your ‘Sutton wig and face mask’ to one of your friends and hope for the best?”
Sutton inhaled a chubby breath and nodded, “Yep.”
Jaxon shrugged in defeat. “At least he’s got a plan,” he said.
“Respectable. Let me know if it works. I may use that one for myself,” Madelyn said brightly.
“Do you have a particular function you’re not crazy about going to at the moment?”
“Not at the moment, but it’s always nice to have a plan b in your pocket just in case,” she winked.
They spent hours talking until Sutton was fast asleep in Madelyn’s arms on the couch.
“It sounds like everything went great for you guys,” he said with appreciation.
“He’s amazing, Jax. He’s just...perfect. I have never seen anything so perfect in my whole life.”
“He is pretty perfect. I wish I had introduced you guys sooner,” he said.
“Why didn’t you?” she asked quietly, posing curious eyes at him.
“Ah...” he mumbled. “I’m still trying to find that perfect line, you know? I’m single now. I don’t really know what the etiquette is. Am I supposed to bring another woman into my life, or will that just confuse him? I don’t know what he remembers of his mother or how her leaving has affected him.”
“You’re just trying to protect him. That’s really sweet, Jaxon. How long ago did she leave?” she asked.
“About six months. I hear she’s engaged now, so...” he trailed off.
“Wow. Somebody doesn’t waste any time,” she scoffed. “Has she seen him since she left?”
Jaxon shook his head. “She hasn’t even called.”
“Ugh,” Madelyn scowled. “That makes me sick.”
“Me too. She never looked back. I don’t know how she could do it.”
“Did you have any idea the breakup was coming?”
“She started working with her ex. They dated right before she and I did,” he began, then shook his head, catching himself. “Sorry. You don’t want to hear this.”
“Sure I do! I’m the one who asked.”
“Why would you want to hear about my ex?” he asked with mild amusement.
“Because I’m insane,” she said with a quiet laugh. “I am not one of those girls who pretends the guy she has a crazy crush on doesn’t have a past. She was a big part of your life. She set the tone for how you treat people and how you’re feeling now. Unfortunately, she matters. She won’t forever,” she said with a wry grin. “But for now, I’d like to hear how it all went down, if you’re willing to share.”
Jaxon nodded, the smiled as he realized exactly what she’d just said. “So, you have a crazy crush on me, huh?”
“Of course,” she said.
Jaxon looked over at his son, his eyes rolling back with the spell of sleep in the arms of a woman he had just met and couldn’t help but think how happy and contented the little boy looked.
It was so different than how things had been with Skylar.
She told him repeatedly that she wanted to be a mother. At first, he believed her. But after a couple of months with Sutton home, something in her changed. She didn’t have a warm, maternal side. She would let Sutton cry for hours through the night.
Being a parent wasn’t easy, and it wouldn’t come naturally to everyone.
“You have like a million nieces and nephews,” she would say to Jaxon. “You’re already good at this. I’m just learning, so take it easy on me, okay?”
And so he did. He made the transition to parenthood as easy as possible for her.
She seemed to care for Sutton, but not in the same way he did.
Years in, Skylar was drawing farther and farther away from them. She worked overtime at the ranch and seemed to view family days as something to strike off her checklist rather than something she deeply enjoyed.
It wasn’t that she didn’t love Sutton or Jaxon. She just wasn’t settled. He could feel it. She didn’t fall into family life with a graceful, contented sigh. It didn’t make her want to lean back and say, “This is what I’ve been waiting for.”
He remembered how it all ended. Last December, Skylar hadn’t come home from work yet when she called him and asked him to meet her at the stables of the ranch.
He left Sutton home with the nanny and drove twenty minutes to Brookside. He found her standing outside in the snow, leaning against the barn.
The two made small talk about the horses and her workday, but nothing felt right about her candor.
A question about whether she was alright turned into an argument about everything they had both sacrificed to be together until finally she threw her hand into the air and said, “I just don’t know if this is...”
Skylar trailed off.
“What?” Jaxon asked, nodding toward her.
“No,” she said firmly, shaking her head. “Forget it.”
“Say it, Skylar.”
“No,” she repeated.
“Say it, Sky,” he prodded. “You’re not fulfilled.”
/> “I’m not fulfilled,” she snapped, crossing her arms to look at him. “I have been in this relationship with you for four years, and it used to be the highlight of my day.”
Used to be.
Her words cut at his heart. He was shaking from the cold, and even worse now from nerves, though he hoped she couldn’t tell.
Jaxon wasn’t dressed to be standing out in the freezing New York weather. He thought he would come and pick her up and the two of them would go to the car or inside the heated stables, or at the very least into his office. Instead, they stood three feet from one another, Skylar leaning against the barnboard behind her like her body had been interlocked with the building.
“Seeing you was the spark in my life,” she continued. “You were the reason I woke up in the morning, the reason I got excited for the rest of the day, the reason I put on makeup.”
He swallowed and watched her carefully as he asked, “So what do you want?”
“I want something else.”
“And what about Sutton?” he asked accusingly.
Skylar bit her lip, considering it. Her face looked racked with guilt and her tone went soft and sweet as she said, “You’re an amazing dad. You’re better for him than I am.”
Jaxon felt his mouth gape. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. If she wanted to leave him, that was one thing. It would rip his soul apart. It would ruin him. But he would find a way to handle it.
But to leave Sutton?
He felt his stomach twist as she continued, “I want to be fulfilled, Jax.”
Jaxon felt like his heart had started to crack but held together just long enough to become furious.
“When you were seventeen, you ran away from home because you wanted to find yourself,” he seethed. “You went to school to work with horses because you wanted to be fulfilled. You asked for a baby because you wanted to be fulfilled. What’s next, Skylar?”
She frowned with offence. “And you think somehow my decisions in the past invalidate my feelings now?”
“No,” he snapped. “I do find it convenient that this desire to go and ‘find yourself’ has materialized at the same moment your ex is back in your life.”
