by Kate Benson
“I don’t want a fucking recap, asshole!” she starts as she pulls away, her tear-filled eyes raising to mine when I don’t immediately release her. “Let me go.”
“No,” I shake my head, holding her there as I grip the back of her head and press my lips to hers, willing her to kiss me back.
I pour everything I’ve got into her, the fingers I’ve got cradling her neck threading into her long, blonde hair. It takes a minute, but as I slip my tongue into her mouth, she begins to react, her hands relaxing their death grip on my shirt and moving up to grip my arms. She begins to stumble slightly, her legs going weak for a moment and I hold her up, teasing her lower lip with my teeth before I slide my tongue against hers once more. Her small frame begins to relent, the sensation of her scent as it wraps itself around me overwhelming as her grip on my wrists finally eases up. Her belly grazes against mine and instead of the content, needy mewl she usually gives me, I feel her starting to tremble in my arms as she begins to pull away.
Evie never pulls away.
My eyes open slowly, her cerulean gaze staring back at me. Its only then that I see her tears haven’t subsided but have instead returned full force.
“Evie,” I beg, my lips still brushing against hers.
“You still taste like her,” she sobs against my mouth, turning away from me when I try and take her hands in mine. “I can smell her all over you.”
“Baby,” I try again, but am met only with the shake of her head, the low sound of her heartbreak as it tears through my chest. “Please-”
“I can’t,” she shakes her head, yanking herself free from me once and for all. She wipes the mascara away from her cheeks before she swipes the back of her palm over her lips, her skin tinged slightly with remnants of my blood. “I can’t do this.”
“Please don’t walk away,” I beg, taking another step toward her as she backs away further. “Just let me take you home, baby. I’ll expl-”
“No,” she cries, shaking her head. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
“Evie-”
“Come on, honey,” one of her friends from the park – Connie, I think – reaches for her and wraps her arm around her shoulders. “I’ll take you home.”
“Baby-”
She shakes her head, refusing to face me as she’s led away into the crowd, time stopping as onlookers resume their nights, quickly filling the space she’d just been standing in.
I want to chase her. I want to stop her in the middle of the street and force her to hear me out, but as I watch her slip into another crowd, I can’t move.
Fuck, I can’t even breathe.
My entire world crashes in on me as I fight back emotions I’ve never felt and push out a deep breath.
I grip my keys in my hand and storm back toward the alley, a string of profanity leaving my lips as I pat my pockets down and realize I left my phone inside.
It feels like it takes an eternity for me to make it to my truck, but once I do, I see Hailey standing at the edge of the back door.
“Are you coming back in or-”
“Stay the fuck away from me,” I cut her off, my voice filled with enough anger to shut her up as I push passed her and walk inside.
I step back behind the bar, pulling my tips from the jar and lifting my phone from its place beside the register.
“You can’t just leave!” Hailey insists, the sheer sight of her sending another wave of fury through me as I twist passed her. “How the hell am I supposed to deal with all these people?”
“Trust me. You’d much rather deal with them than me right now.”
Twenty-Six
evie
“Evie!” he calls out as he steps inside, the door closing hard behind him hard enough to vibrate the walls. “Baby?” He steps into the bedroom and comes to an abrupt stop in the doorframe when he sees me. “What are you doing?”
“I’m leaving,” I admit, pulling another duffel bag out of the bottom of the closet to toss it onto the bed. “I’m going back home.”
“Pussycat-”
“Don’t,” I cut him short, my eyes stinging as I glance up at him. “You don’t get to call me that. Not anymore.”
“Evie, I didn’t kiss-”
“What part of me walking into that bar and seeing you press another woman against the bar while she shoved her tongue down your throat are you not fucking comprehending?” I ask, my chest aching so deep, I’m not sure I’ll ever breathe right again. “What part of you having her smell all over you right now so strong it’s making me sick to my stomach do I need to clear up?”
“Evie, please just listen to me for a minute.”
“Why? So, you can lie to me? Again?” I counter. “Even if I wanted to hear it, how am I supposed to listen to anything you say right now? I can’t even look at you, Dash.”
His shoulders fall as I step around him and reach for one of the handles on the dresser, yanking it open. When I turn to face the bed, he’s standing in front of me, his eyes full of regret, full of… I don’t even know.
“Please, Evie,” he tries and as badly as I’d like to, I can’t deny the emotion swimming in his eyes. “You can’t leave.”
“And I damned sure can’t stay,” I correct him, hating the break in my voice.
“I love you,” he swears. “I w-”
“Is that what you were thinking of when you had your hands all over that other woman, Dash?” I shout as I throw the handful of clothes I’m holding at him. “How much you fucking love me?”
“Baby, I didn’t fucking ki-”
“I saw you!” I rail over him. “Why the fuck are you still lying to me?”
“I’m not lying!”
“Oh, my God,” I shake my head, moving toward my bag. “You’re unfuckingbelievable.”
“If you’d listen to me, you’d-”
“I don’t want to hear it,” I cut him off again. “I know what I saw, Dash. There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Nothing?”
“Nope,” I insist as I reach for another stack of clothes and ignore the roll of nausea in my stomach. “Not anymore.”
“What about our children, Evie?” he asks as he steps between me and the bed again trying once more to slow my movements.
“What about them?” I ask, holding his eyes as I pull away from his attempt to touch me.
“They need us both, Evie,” he insists, his voice pleading. “Whether you want to hear me out or not, they need us to get to the other side of this.”
“So, your solution to cheating on me-”
“I didn’t cheat.”
“Is to tell me to suck it up and pretend it never happened because I’m pregnant?” I ignore him, balking. “Is that what I’m supposed to do, Dash?”
He starts to reply, but I don’t wait long enough to listen. Instead, I move around him and set a stack of clothes into the bottom of the duffel. I swallow hard and lock my gaze stuck on the wall for a moment before finally, I turn back to him.
“You know, when Mason found out about us, he told me you weren’t ready for this,” I say low, shaking my head at the memory. “He warned me that this would be too much. That you wouldn’t be able to stay faithful.”
“Baby-”
“And despite that being my biggest fear, I defended you,” I stare into him. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to defend someone against their best friend? Against the person who knows them better than anyone else?” He says nothing, his jaw clenching slightly with my words. “But that’s exactly what I did. I defended you against your best friend, my brother, because you swore you would never fucking do this to me, Dash,” I shake my head. “I really thought you meant all the things you said. Even when my jealousy got out of control, when I couldn’t rein in my insecurities and I accused you of keeping the worst kind of secrets from me, deep down, I still believed you. I gave you my trust when that was the last thing I was ready to give anyone,” I whisper, my tears coming full force now despite how hard I’m fighting them
. “Mason told me you were going to sell me a fairytale that never existed and I bought it like an idiot,” I swallow hard, forcing my gaze from his. “Hook, line and sinker.”
“Evie-”
“The twins will still have us even after us is nothing more than a memory,” I face him. As mad as I am at him, as deep as the ache in my chest goes right now, I can’t deny the anguish staring back at me. “But I don’t know how to get to the other side of the one thing I can’t forgive.”
“Baby,” he whispers, taking a step toward me, reaching for me when I pull away. “Will you please just let me explain? If we just talk about-”
“I already told you there’s nothing to talk about,” I swipe at my tears. “It was one thing when it was a text, Dash, but this is different. I saw you with her. I tasted her on your lips,” I choke out as my face contorts in pain and I wrap my arms around myself, the sudden need to shield myself overwhelming. “I can’t stop wondering how many times-”
“That was the only time, baby.” I release a humorless laugh. “I swear to God-”
“How nice that I got to be there to share it with you.”
“Dammit, Evie!” he grounds out, pinching the bridge of his nose. “If you’d just let me talk for two fucking minutes-”
“I want you to go,” I cut him off, unable to face him as I speak the words I hoped would never come.
“Babe, ple-”
“Please just go, Dash,” I choke out. “Mason is still at work, but I’ll have him let you know when we’re heading home so you can come back,” I manage. “I’ll call you when my water breaks. I’d never keep you from your kids, but I can’t get passed this.”
I feel his eyes on me, staring back at me, willing me to look at him, willing me to forgive, but I can’t.
I could forgive him for just about anything else, but not this.
“So, that’s it, huh?” he asks, the break in his voice striking my heart somehow still. “I get no say? You’re just going to end it?”
“I didn’t end anything, Dash. You did. You said everything you needed to say when you lied to me,” I sigh, swiping my tears once more. “You should be happy.”
“Why the fuck would I be happy right now, Evie?”
“Because I’m doing what you’ve been asking me to do all along, Dash,” I swallow hard, facing him for the last time. “I’m letting go.”
dash
“Hey asshole!” he yells, the sound of knocking on the window jolting me awake enough that I take in my surroundings. “What the fuck?” he asks, throwing his hands up, and this time, my eyes move to the passenger’s side window, her window, and find him bent over, staring inside at me. “Did you fuck around behind my baby sister’s back with some trollop?”
“No,” I shake my head, flinching at the ache in my back as I stretch out in my seat.
Even passed out in my car in a city two hours away, this jackass finds a way to wake me up at the ass crack of dawn.
I hit the lock and the door swings open, the cool air seeping inside for a moment before he closes us back in and faces me.
“Whoa,” he whispers when he gets a good look at the bruises already forming over my jaw. “What the fuck happened to your face?”
“Your sister.”
“Holy shit,” he starts, shaking his head before he faces me again. “What the fuck went down here last night?” he asks, throwing his hands up. “She called me crying her eyes out after I got home telling me she caught you going at it with some other girl.”
“It’s a server at the bar,” I grumble, holding my hand up when I see his eyes go wide. “She’s been coming onto me for weeks, texted my phone and started all kinds of shit between me and Evie like a month ago. She popped back up at the club, tried pulling the same shit and I told her I wasn’t into it and then last night, she got hammered in the middle of our shift and jumped me,” I explain quickly. “Evie came in with some of her friends and saw it, so now she thinks I’ve been lying to her the whole time and I’ve got some kind of thing going with her.”
“Do you?”
“No, dude. Not even close,” I shake my head, staring out the windshield. “I ran down 6th trying to tell her what happened, and she punched me in the face,” I raise my eyebrow. “Harder than you’ve ever dreamed of, by the way,” I flex my jaw. “We came back here, I tried to talk to her again, she refused to listen, kicked me out and told me it was over. Said she’d call me when the babies come.”
“Damn,” he sighs.
“Yep,” I nod, releasing a weighted breath of my own. “Damn sounds about right.”
“You been out here all night?” he asks, pulling another nod from me. “What are you gonna do?”
“What the fuck can I do, Mase?” I ask, finally facing him. “I’ve tried talking to her, but she’s not having it,” I shake my head. “I begged her, Mason. I fucking pleaded with that girl and she just…” I turn away, biting back the emotion. “She wouldn’t hear anything I had to say and nothing I actually did manage to get out even touched her,” I say, my voice low, my eyes locked on my steering wheel though my thoughts couldn’t be further away. “Even after she threw me out on my ass, I still spent half the night blowing up her phone,” I shrug, tossing the useless plastic to the side. “Nothing. She still ended it.”
“Yeah, but you said she does this sometimes, right?”
“Not like this,” I shake my head, doing everything I can to keep it together when honestly, I want nothing more than to give into it, fall apart. “When she said it was over this time, she fucking meant it,” I swallow hard. “I’m pretty sure she’s done, Mason.”
“Well, she might be too pissed off to listen to you, but she’ll listen to me,” he offers. “I’ll talk to her.”
“Yeah, she made sure I knew all about how you talked to her about me last night,” I grumble from my side of the seat, shooting him an overdue look of contempt from my side of the car. “I know you aren’t exactly on board with all this, but don’t do me any fuckin’ favors, man. She hates me enough already.”
“Things are different now,” he admits, his tone apologetic. “Back when Eve and I had that conversation, I had no idea-”
“I know,” I wave him off. “I get it. And I ain’t gonna lie. Some of the shit she said stung, but,” I shake my head. “Y’know, I wouldn’t have argued with any of it a year ago,” I shrug. “But this time? This time I really didn’t fuck up, Mason,” I insist, shaking my head. “This time, I thought I was doing everything right. Fuck, I’ve been trying to get everything right since we left the cabin, Mase. And none of that had anything to do with her being your sister.”
“I know.”
I stare out the windshield once more, the window on the second floor I’ve been staring at for the last four hours never feeling further away and that pang in my heart takes hold of me all over again.
“I never wanted anyone to stick around before her, Mason,” I say low, almost more to myself than anyone else. “But this...” I trail off, swallowing the lump that feels like it’s never going to leave my chest before I clear my throat. “Things were different with her. I wasn’t that guy with Evie.”
His phone chimes and my eyes move straight for it, the longing in the pit of my chest unbearable as he bites on his lip and stares down at it awkwardly.
“I guess I’d better-”
“Tell her she doesn’t have to leave,” I cut him off, my voice low as I gesture toward the window I’m still staring at. “This was all her idea. I never said…” I trail off again, taking a second to get my shit straight before I look over at him. “I’ll do whatever she wants me to do, Mase. Just tell her that for me, will you?”
“You got it, bro,” he nods, giving me a brotherly pat on the shoulder. “I will.”
Twenty-Seven
evie
The sound of Mason gently rapping on the door pulls me from the couch, and the low growl of displeasure coming from Vinnie somehow speaks to my heart.
I set my ph
one to the side, the temptation of reading the two dozen texts Dash has sent for the umpteenth time calling me back instantly. I ignore it and slowly make my way to the door, his sympathetic smile greeting me as soon as our eyes meet.
“Hey kid,” he says, his voice low and soothing as he steps inside and immediately pulls me into his arms. “How ya feeling?”
“Terrible,” I admit, sniffing back the already impending tears as I tuck myself into his safe embrace, savoring in the bear hug I’d been craving since I called. “Like a bag of smashed assholes.”
“I’m sorry,” he replies, his low chuckle at my words making me hug him even tighter before I release him altogether and push the door shut. “Did you manage to get any sleep?”
“Not really. I dozed off for a few minutes here and there but your jackass friend wouldn’t stop calling me,” I sigh, moving back into the apartment and pushing my blankets away to clear a space for him in the wreckage that has become my life over the last few hours. I make my way passed the balcony and glance out into the lot, the hood of his car beneath the covered parking area calling to me something fierce as I awkwardly risk a glance at my brother. “Is he still sitting out there?”
“Yeah,” he nods, holding my eyes when I release a low and shaky breath and move back to the couch.
“Did you talk to him?”
I pull the comforter into my lap and begin nervously picking at a loose seam, one I likely made that way last night in my restlessness. He nods again and I bite my lip, hating the emotions still lodged in my chest.
“Do you want to know what he said?” he asks, crouching down to face me when I stare down at my hands, lost in thought.
Eventually, I release the breath I’m holding and shake my head. “Not right now.”
“Okay,” he says, kissing my hair. “Want me to make you some eggs?”
I’m about to say no again, but the two gentle flutters inside my belly are quick to disagree. I can’t help but smile small as I rest my hand there.
