by Willa Cather
Before she was out of short dresses she had made up her mind that she was going to be an actress, that she would live far away in great cities, that she would be much admired by men and would have everything she wanted. When she was thirteen, and was already singing and reciting for church entertainments, she read in some illustrated magazine a long article about the late Czar of Russia, then just come to the throne or about to come to it. After that, lying in the hammock on the front porch on summer evenings, or sitting through a long sermon in the family pew, she amused herself by trying to make up her mind whether she would or would not be the Czar’s mistress when she played in his capital.
Now, Edna had met this fascinating word only in the novels of Ouida—her hard-worked little mother kept a long row of them in the upstairs storeroom, behind the linen chest. In Huntington, women who bore that relation to men were called by a very different name, and their lot was not an enviable one; of all the shabby and poor, they were the shabbiest. But then, Edna had never lived in Huntington; not even before she began to find books like “Sapho” and “Mademoiselle de Maupin,” secretly sold in paper covers throughout Illinois. It was as if she had come into Huntington, into the Bowers family, on one of the trains that puffed over the marshes behind their back fence all day long, and was waiting for another train to take her out.
As she grew older and handsomer, she had many beaux, but these smalltown boys didn’t interest her. If a lad kissed her when he brought her home from a dance, she was indulgent and she rather liked it. But if he pressed her further, she slipped away from him, laughing. After she began to sing in Chicago, she was consistently discreet. She stayed as a guest in rich people’s houses, and she knew that she was being watched like a rabbit in a laboratory. Covered up in bed, with the lights out, she thought her own thoughts, and laughed.
This summer in New York was her first taste of freedom. The Chicago capitalist, after all his arrangements were made for sailing, had been compelled to go to Mexico to look after oil interests. His sister knew an excellent singing master in New York. Why should not a discreet, well-balanced girl like Miss Bower spend the summer there, studying quietly? The capitalist suggested that his sister might enjoy a summer on Long Island; he would rent the Griffiths place for her, with all the servants, and Eden could stay there. But his sister met this proposal with a cold stare.
So it fell out that between selfishness and greed, Eden got a summer all her own—which really did a great deal toward making her an artist and whatever else she was afterward to become. She had time to look about, to watch without being watched; to select diamonds in one window and furs in another, to select shoulders and mustaches in the big hotels where she went to lunch. She had the easy freedom of obscurity and the consciousness of power. She enjoyed both. She was in no hurry.
While Eden Bower watched the pigeons, Don Hedger sat on the other side of the bolted doors, looking into a pool of dark turpentine at his idle brushes, wondering why a woman could do this to him. He, too, was sure of his future and knew that he was a chosen man. He could not know, of course, that he was merely the first to fall under a fascination which was to be disastrous to a few men and pleasantly stimulating to many thousands. Each of these two young people sensed the future, but not completely. Don Hedger knew that nothing much would ever happen to him. Eden Bower understood that to her a great deal would happen. But she did not guess that her neighbour would have more tempestuous adventures sitting in his dark studio than she would find in all the capitals of Europe, or in all the latitude of conduct she was prepared to permit herself.
CHAPTER V
One Sunday morning Eden was crossing the Square with a spruce young man in a white flannel suit and a Panama hat. They had been breakfasting at the Brevoort and he was coaxing her to let him come up to her rooms and sing for an hour.
“No, I’ve got to write letters. You must run along now. I see a friend of mine over there, and I must ask him about something before I go up.”
“That fellow with the dog? Where did you pick him up?” The young man glanced toward the seat under a sycamore where Hedger was reading the morning paper.
“Oh, he’s an old friend from the West,” said Eden easily. “I won’t introduce you because he doesn’t like people. He’s a recluse. Good-by. I can’t be sure about Tuesday. I’ll go with you if I have time after my lesson.”
She nodded, left him and went over to the seat littered with newspapers. The young man went up the Avenue without looking back.
“Well, what are you going to do today? Shampoo this animal all morning?” Eden enquired teasingly.
He made room for her on the seat. “No, at twelve o’clock I’m going out to Coney Island. One of my models, a fine girl, is going up in a balloon this afternoon. I’ve often promised to go and see her, and now I’m going.”
Eden asked if models usually did such stunts. No, Hedger told her, but Molly Welch added to her earnings in that way.
“I believe,” he added, “she likes the excitement of it. She’s got a good deal of spirit. That’s why I like to paint her. So many models have flaccid bodies.”
“And she hasn’t, eh? Is she the one who comes to see you? I can’t help hearing her, she talks so loud.”
“Yes, she has a rough voice, but she’s a fine girl. I don’t suppose you’d be interested in going?”
“I don’t know,” Eden sat tracing patterns on the asphalt with the end of her parasol. “Is it any fun? I got up feeling I’d like to do something different today. It’s the first Sunday I’ve not had to sing in church. I had that engagement for breakfast at the Brevoort, but it wasn’t very exciting. That chap can’t talk about anything but himself.”
Hedger warmed a little. “If you’ve never been to Coney Island, you ought to go. It’s nice to see all the people; tailors and bartenders and prize-fighters with their best girls, and all sorts of folks taking a holiday.”
Eden looked sidewise at him. So one ought to be interested in people of that kind, ought one? He was certainly a funny fellow. Yet he was never, somehow, tiresome. She had seen a good deal of him lately, but she kept wanting to know him better, to find out what made him different from men like the one she had just left—whether he really was as different as he seemed.
“I’ll go with you,” she said at last, “if you’ll leave that at home.”
She pointed to Caesar’s flickering ears with her sunshade.
“But he’s half the fun. You’d like to hear him bark at the waves when they come in.”
“No, I wouldn’t. He’s jealous and disagreeable if he sees you talking to anyone else. Look at him now.”
“Of course, if you make a face at him. He knows what that means and he makes a worse face. He likes Molly Welch, and she’ll be disappointed if I don’t bring him.”
Eden said decidedly that he couldn’t take both of them. So at twelve o’clock when she and Hedger got on the boat at Desbrosses street, Caesar was lying on his pallet with a bone.
Eden enjoyed the boat ride. It was the first time she had been on the water and she felt as if she were embarking for France. The light, warm breeze and the plunge of the waves made her very wide awake, and she liked crowds of any kind. They went to the balcony of a big, noisy restaurant and had a shore dinner with tall steins of beer. Hedger had got a big advance from his advertising firm since he first lunched with Miss Bower ten days ago, and he was ready for anything.
After dinner they went to the tent behind the bathing beach, where the tops of two balloons bulged out over the canvas. A red-faced man in a linen suit stood in front of the tent, shouting in a hoarse voice and telling the people that if the crowd was good for five dollars more a beautiful young woman would risk her life for their entertainment. Four little boys in dirty red uniforms ran about taking contributions in their pillbox hats. One of the balloons was bobbing up and down in its t
ether and people were shoving one another to get nearer the tent.
“Is it dangerous, as he says?” Eden asked.
“Molly says it’s simple enough if nothing goes wrong with the balloon. Then it would be all up, I suppose.”
“Wouldn’t you like to go up with her?”
“I? Of course not. I’m not fond of taking foolish risks.”
Eden sniffed. “I shouldn’t think sensible risks would be very much fun.”
Hedger did not answer, for just then everyone began to shove the other way and shout, “Look out. There she goes!” And a band of six pieces began playing furiously.
As the balloon rose from its tent enclosure, they saw a girl in green tights standing in the basket, holding carelessly to one of the ropes with one hand and with the other waving to the spectators. A long rope trailed behind to keep the balloon from blowing out to sea.
As it soared, the figure in green tights in the basket diminished to a mere spot, and the balloon itself, in the brilliant light, looked like a big silver-gray bat, with its wings folded. When it began to sink, the girl stepped through the hole in the basket to a trapeze that hung below, and gracefully descended through the air, holding to the rod with both hands, keeping her body taut and her feet close together. The crowd—it had grown very large by this time—cheered vociferously. The men took off their hats and waved, little boys shouted, and fat old women, shining with the heat and a beer lunch, murmured admiring comments upon the balloonist’s figure.
“Beautiful legs, she has!”
“That’s so,” Hedger whispered. “Not many girls would look well in that position.”
Then, for some reason, he blushed a slow, dark, painful crimson.
The balloon descended slowly, a little way from the tent, and the red-faced man in the linen suit caught Molly Welch before her feet touched the ground and pulled her to one side. The band struck up “Blue Bell” by way of welcome, and one of the sweaty pages ran forward and presented the balloonist with a large boquet of artificial flowers. She smiled and thanked him, and ran back across the sand to the tent.
“Can’t we go inside and see her?” Eden asked. “You can explain to the door man. I want to meet her.”
Edging forward, she herself addressed the man in the linen suit and slipped something from her purse into his hand.
They found Molly seated before a trunk that had a mirror in the lid and a “makeup” outfit spread upon the tray. She was wiping the cold cream and powder from her neck with a discarded chemise.
“Hello, Don,” she said cordially. “Brought a friend?”
Eden liked her. She had an easy, friendly manner, and there was something boyish and devil-may-care about her.
“Yes, it’s fun. I’m mad about it,” she said in reply to Eden’s questions. “I always want to let go, when I come down on the bar. You don’t feel your weight at all, as you would on a stationary trapeze.”
The big drum boomed outside, and the publicity man began shouting to newly arrived boatloads. Miss Welch took a last pull at her cigarette. “Now you’ll have to get out, Don. I change for the next act. This time I go up in a black evening dress, and lose the skirt in the basket before I start down.”
“Yes, go along,” said Eden. “Wait for me outside the door. I’ll stay and help her dress.”
Hedger waited and waited, while women of every build bumped into him and begged his pardon, and the red pages ran about holding out their caps for coins, and the people ate and perspired and shifted parasols against the sun. When the band began to play a two-step all the bathers ran up out of the surf to watch the ascent. The second balloon bumped and rose, and the crowd began shouting to the girl in a black evening dress who stood leaning against the ropes and smiling.
“It’s a new girl,” they called. “It ain’t the Countess this time. You’re a peach, girlie!”
The balloonist acknowledged these compliments, bowing and looking down over the sea of upturned faces, but Hedger was determined she should not see him, and he darted behind the tent-fly. He was suddenly dripping with cold sweat, his mouth was full of the bitter taste of anger, and his tongue felt stiff behind his set teeth. Molly Welch, in a shirt-waist and a white tam-o’-shanter cap, slipped out from the tent under his arm and laughed up in his face. “She’s a crazy one, you brought along. She’ll get what she wants!”
“Oh, I’ll settle with you, all right!” Hedger brought out with difficulty.
“It’s not my fault, Donnie. I couldn’t do anything with her. She bought me off. What’s the matter with you? Are you soft on her? She’s safe enough. It’s as easy as rolling off a log, if you keep cool.” Molly Welch was rather excited herself, and she was chewing gum at a high speed as she stood beside him, looking up at the floating silver cone.
“Now watch,” she exclaimed suddenly. “She’s coming down on the bar. I advised her to cut that out, but you see she does it first rate. And she got rid of the skirt, too. I don’t think those black tights show off her legs very well, she’s got fine legs. But she keeps her feet together like I told her, and makes a good line along the back. See the light on those silver slippers—that was a good idea of mine. Come along to meet her. Don’t be a grouch; she’s done it fine!”
Molly tweaked his elbow, and then left him standing like a stump while she ran down the beach with the crowd, which was flowing over the sand like a thick liquid and gazing upward at the slowly falling silver star.
Though Hedger was sulking, his eye could not help seeing the low blue welter of the sea, the arrested bathers, standing in the surf, their arms and legs stained red by the dropping sun, shading their eyes and looking shoreward while the great bird settled down.
Molly Welch and the red-faced man caught Eden under the arms and lifted her aside, a red page dashed up with a bouquet, and the band struck up “Blue Bell.” Eden laughed and bowed, took Molly’s arm and ran up the sand in her black tights and silver slippers, dodging the friendly old women and the gallant sports who wanted to offer their homage on the spot.
When she emerged from the tent, dressed in her own clothes, that part of the beach was almost deserted. She stepped to her companion’s side and said, carelessly, “Hadn’t we better try to catch this boat? I hope you’re not sore with me. Really, it was lots of fun.”
Hedger looked at his watch.
“Yes, we have fifteen minutes to get to the boat,” he said politely.
As they walked toward the pier, one of the red-imp pages ran up panting.
Lady, you’re carrying off the bouquet,” he said, aggrievedly.
Eden stopped and looked at the bunch of spotty cotton roses in her hand. “Of course. I want them for a souvenir. You gave them to me yourself.”
“I give ’em to you for looks, but you can’t take ’em away. They belong to the show.”
“Oh, you always use the same bunch?”
“Sure we do. There ain’t too much money in this business.”
She laughed and tossed them back to him.
“Why are you angry?” she asked Hedger. “I wouldn’t have done it if I’d been with some fellows, but I thought you were the sort who wouldn’t mind. Molly didn’t for a minute think you would.”
“What possessed you to do such a fool thing?” he asked roughly.
“I don’t know. When I saw Molly coming down, I wanted to try it. It looked exciting. Didn’t I hold myself as well as she did?”
Hedger shrugged his shoulders, but in his heart he instantly forgave her.
The return boat was not crowded, though the boats that passed them, going out, were packed to the rails. The sun was setting. Boys and girls sat on the long benches with their arms about each other, singing.
Eden felt a strong wish to propitiate her companion, to be alone with him. She had been curiously wrought up by he
r balloon trip; it was a lark, but not very satisfying unless one came back to something after the flight. She wanted to be admired and adored.
Though Eden said nothing, and sat with her arms limp on the rail in front of her, looking languidly at the rising silhouette of the city and the bright path of the sun, Hedger felt a strange drawing near to her. If he but brushed her white skirt with his knee, there was an instant communication between them, such as there had never been before. They did not talk at all, but when they went over the gangplank she took his arm and kept her shoulder close to him. He felt as if they were enveloped in a highly charged atmosphere, an invisible network of subtle, almost painful sensibility. They had somehow taken hold of each other.
An hour later, they were dining in the back garden of a little French hotel on Ninth street, long since passed away. It was cool and leafy there, and the mosquitoes were not very numerous. A party of South Americans at another table were drinking champagne, and Eden murmured that she thought she would like some, if it were not too expensive. “Perhaps it will make me think I am in the balloon again. That was a very nice feeling. You’ve forgiven me, haven’t you?”
Hedger gave her a quick straight look from under his black eyebrows, and something went over her that was like a chill, except that it was warm and feathery. She drank most of the wine; her companion was indifferent to it. He was talking more to her tonight than he had ever done before. She asked him about a new picture she had seen in his room, a queer thing full of stiff, supplicating female figures. “It’s Indian, isn’t it?”
“Yes. I call it Rain Spirits, or maybe, Indian Rain. In the Southwest, where I’ve been a good deal, the Indian traditions make women have to do with the rainfall. They were supposed to control it, somehow, and to be able to find springs and make moisture come out of the earth. You see I’m trying to learn to paint what people think and feel; to get away from all that photographic stuff. When I look at you, I don’t see what a camera would see, do I?”
