by Sierra Hill
Carver pulls out Kylah’s desk chair, whips it around and sits down backward on it, staring at us with keen interest.
“Thought you two were just friends.” He uses air quotes. “You left out the ‘with benefits’ part.”
Carver stares at our joined hands and then back up at me. I can’t quite tell what he’s thinking. Is he mad? I don’t see why he would be, this has nothing to do with him. And I don’t feel it necessary to have to explain myself to him, for that matter.
“We were friends, but it turned into more,” I say, acknowledging the truth about our relationship.
He nods his head appreciatively, his lips pursed as if thinking this over.
“So what, you’re like a couple now?”
He doesn’t state it in a condescending way, but it still pisses me off that the thing between me and Kylah is anyone else’s business. Can’t people just get their own lives and not worry about others so much?
“Yeah. What of it, bro? Why is it such a big deal to you?”
Carver’s head hangs low, his arms crossed over the back of the chair, as he taps his fingers against the wood. When he lifts his head again, he gives me a cursory glance before moving to Kylah, his expression morphing into tenderness.
“I just don’t want to see Ky-Ky get hurt.”
“Duly noted.”
Kylah, who’s been silent up ’til now, jumps in.
“Van would never hurt me.” She grips my hand tight, giving it a quick squeeze before releasing it. “I appreciate your concern, Carver, but I’ll be fine. He’s not like…others I know.” It’s an attempt at humor, a little jab at the player in front of us. Carver seems to understand she’s poking fun at his man-whore status and laughs.
“Okay then.” Carver stands, pushing in the chair under the desk and then turning toward us once again. “I’m happy for you. Good luck with things. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to resume my role as a party favor to all the single ladies downstairs who want to start their New Year off with a bang.” He snickers and waggles his eyebrows to show off his lewd intentions, then pats me on the shoulder as he leaves the room.
Kylah giggles, smooshing her face into my bicep, as I roll my eyes and watch Carver strut out the door. That man has such an inflated ego, but he’s been a good friend and great team captain.
“So you think Cade is going to make a reappearance tonight? Or can we assume Ainsley has things handled and we can proceed worry-free with the rest of our night together?”
I unwrap her from my hold and walk her back to the bed, where we sit next to each other. I take a good look around her room again and am reminded of the cello in the corner.
“You play the cello?”
“Yeah. I know, I’m a nerd.”
I grab underneath her knees with one hand and place another behind her back, and in one fell swoop, I lift her onto my lap, the sound of her little yelp filling the otherwise silent room.
“You’re not a nerd, Ky. The cello is a beautiful instrument. Graceful. Melodic. Gorgeous. Just like you.” My mouth finds hers, placing a swift kiss across her lips. “I want to hear you play.”
She tilts her head with curiosity, her eyes gleaming as they take in my sincerity.
“You do?” She asks with a hint of incredulity.
“Yes, of course.” I give her a bite on her earlobe, loving the gasp I procure. “And it would be even hotter if you played naked. Your thighs spread wide, your knees hugging the wood, as your hand wraps around the neck of the cello…”
I’m pretty sure she can feel my cock straining now against her ass. That image is never going to leave me – whether I do or don’t get to see her play it for real. Just the fantasy is enough to get me going when I jack off in the future.
There’s a sharp sting from the swat she gives me across my right pec. “You’re a naughty boy, Van. But I like it.” She bites down on her lip and gives me a coy smile. Damn this girl has no idea how naughty I want to get with her. She’s the perfect mix of sexy and sweet, and I love both sides of her.
In fact, I love all of her.
I’m just about to capture her mouth when another rap comes at the door. Jesus, I mumble under my breath, because can’t anyone leave us alone? Kylah freezes for a second and then jumps off my lap. She runs to the door and cracks it open. Apparently satisfied that it isn’t Cade, she swings it wide to invite Kady inside. Instead, she waves a hand toward us both and remains outside the doorway.
“I just wanted you to know that Ainsley and Cade left. They went back to her apartment for the night, so you’re free to get to fucking each other like bunnies.”
“Oh my God, you’re so terrible,” Kylah says exasperated by her sister, but then gives her a hug. “But thank you for letting us know.”
It’s so weird to see them right next to each other. Although Kady has a unique look, while Kylah is classically beautiful, their features are identical, except for their eyes.
I’ve heard stories where guys will date a twin and they get duped somewhere along the way with the old ‘switcheroo’. That makes no sense to me, because even if the twins look exactly alike, there are certain characteristics that just can’t be duplicated. Voice, for example. Kady’s voice is huskier, sharper than Kylah’s, with sometimes a serrated edge to it. Kylah’s voice, though, has this lyrical quality. Soft and breezy, like the sound you hear from the ocean at dawn.
Their eyes are also different. Nothing can compare to Kylah’s wide-eyed, innocence. Her sister’s have a much harder edge, a very deep blue, that look an awful lot like a tempest sea. I can get lost in Kylah’s gaze. When I stare into her eyes, I see longing, trust, and adoration there. And maybe something more, but I’m too chicken shit to find out.
Kady waves in our direction and is just about to leave when she says, “Hey, don’t worry about being loud tonight. I’ll have my own action going on, if you know what I mean.” Her voice has a slight lilt and lots of sass as she closes the door behind her and we are once again alone.
Kylah stands a few feet away from me, her hands twisted in worry.
“Come here.” I reach out and wind my hand around her tiny wrist, pulling her to me.
“Wow, what a way to cap off a New Years’ Eve.” She heaves a huge sigh, allowing me to drag her over to her bed. “I’m glad it’s over for now and we can have the rest of the night together.” Her sly grin finds its way to my soul.
Sliding my hands through her hair at the side of her temples, I tilt her head to look up at me. Her expression is confusing. Still deep with worry, it also holds a profound mix of shyness, lust, and desire.
“There’s nothing I want more.”
Gently lowering her down to the bed, she stretches out underneath me, allowing me to languorously and sensually devour her body.
I count my lucky stars that I can start off the New Year with this sweet girl in my arms.
23
Kylah
Four Weeks Later
Studying for a chemistry quiz is hands down the most unappealing thing in the world, especially when the only thing I’d rather be doing is Skyping with my boyfriend.
Boyfriend.
Holy shit. I’m Van Gerard’s girlfriend.
It still amazes me when I think about it too much. Which, if I’m honest, is all the darn time. He is on my mind constantly. When I’m awake. When I dream. When I daydream instead of figuring out the calculated atomic weight and number for each element.
Before I began my relationship with Van, school was everything to me. It was my focus twenty-four hours a day. Sienna would constantly harp on me because I never had any “fun” with my friends. But honestly, my friends were the same nerdy, geeky college kids like me. They were my tribe – and even when I did get together with them, we’d usually just discuss schoolwork. And when we got really crazy, we’d eat pizza, drink Red Bull drinks, and delve into the unifying principles of life science. Ooh…the things we could tell you about the life of an academic nerd.
Sin
ce I returned to school after the holiday break, I’ve lost interest in all of that. I’ve been somewhat of a hermit. And have suddenly become a huge basketball fan.
Crazy, right? I mean, I attended many of Cade’s games when he was in high school, and my dad would take me to his college home games, too. But I never cared too much about the actual sport and tuned out my brother half the time when he’d go on and on about a particular team, or game, or his stats.
My interest is insatiable now, and I can’t wait to hear everything about a game from Van. That’s what I’m doing right now; waiting for him to get back to his hotel room so he can Skype with me. Tonight they are in Seattle playing an away game against the Washington State Huskies.
I remember going to Seattle when I was in sixth grade with my family because of Cade’s high school tournaments. We did all the touristy things, like going to the top of the Space Needle (not my idea of a good time. Found out I’m deathly afraid of being in very tall structures when there is a strong possibility of it collapsing in an earthquake). We rode the Ducks – one of those land/water vehicles that take tourists through the various landmarks around the city. Kady made fun of me because I actually used the lip-duck-quacker thing they handed out to all of us.
Anyway, a feeling of melancholy has descended upon me because I want to see him so badly it feels like my chest is going to break open. The only thing that has given me a little bit of lift is knowing that in a little over two weeks from now, it’ll be Valentine’s Day. Van doesn’t know it, but I’m going to go home and surprise him. I know the team has a home game over the President’s Day weekend, so he’ll be there. The only one who knows I’m coming to visit is Cade, whom I’ve enlisted to help me pull off my big surprise.
Once Cade cooled down after the New Year’s debacle, we talked things over before I returned to school. His concerns had nothing whatsoever to do with Van as a person. In fact, he thinks Van is one of the most decent guys he knows. It turns out, Cade was just pissed off for being left in the dark. Upset that I didn’t confide in him and tell him the truth upfront. And maybe there was a little mixture of big brotherly protectiveness, too, but he’d never admit to that.
In the end, it all worked out. We went out on a double-date with Ainsley and Cade two days before I returned to school and he’s been very supportive ever since. Apparently, however, he did tell Van in a private mono e mono conversation that he’d kick his ass for real if he did ever hurt me. Aw, brotherly love.
My thoughts return to the present when my Skype app pops open and I see Van’s gorgeous face appear on my screen. Clicking on the Accept button, I adjust my glasses and lick my lips in anticipation.
“Hey, baby.” He murmurs, looking utterly handsome in his travel suit and his hair still damp. But then, as I get a really good look, I notice something terribly alarming.
Holy moly.
His signature Van-bun...it’s gone. His long hair, which was normally pulled back into a bun, which I started calling his Van-bun, as opposed to man-bun, which I found terribly hilarious of me – has been chopped off. His dark tresses are now cropped shorter on the side with a long sweep over his brow.
Instead of greeting him properly, I let out a screech. “Oh my God, Van. Your hair! What did you do?”
He grins sheepishly, in the sexy way that he does, his fingers coming up to comb through the top, which falls a little out of place. Then he scratches at his chin which is covered with a day’s growth of stubble. Mm. God, I love that. It makes my fingers twitch with jealousy.
“Meh, I was tired of the hassle. The guys always gave me a hard time about it…and I don’t know. Honestly, I was ready for a change. Plus, I didn’t want to be mistaken for one of the hipster Seattle-lumberjacks while I’m in town.”
We both laugh as I watch him undo his tie and remove his jacket, making the camera jump around with his movements. He must be using his phone instead of his laptop.
“Wow…okay. It’s just such a shock You look so different. But you look really good. You’re still the hottest guy I’ve ever known.”
He really is. I don’t know how I ended up getting so lucky. Van is just amazing.
Moving from the hair subject, I redirect the conversation because I’m interested in how the end of the game went from his perspective.
“So how was the game? I saw the score after the first half and you were down by six. Unfortunately, I had to go to my study group and just got back about fifteen minutes ago, so I didn’t see the final. What happened?”
“We won. I made a couple of three-point shots, and Carver really went balls to the walls. He was on fire tonight. A triple-double. I’m not sure what caused it, but he was the MVP of the game, that’s for sure.”
“That’s awesome.” Something in my brain clicks about my knowledge of Carver’s background. “Hey, isn’t Carver from Washington? I think I recall him saying he grew up there. Maybe his family came to see him play or something.”
Van scratches his beard again like it’s itchy. “Yeah, you’re right. He grew up in a suburb of Seattle, I think. Maybe he was playing his heart out because he had family there to see him. I don’t really know, though, because Carver is as tight-lipped about his past as they come. Never talks about his family, or his childhood, or anything.”
I can see the movement of a shoulder shrug, but can’t see his entire body in the phone frame. He’s too broad and the camera angle is tilting up to his face.
“I miss you.” I blurt because it’s so hard to be away from him for so long. Even though if I were in Phoenix, I’d still not be able to see him when he was on the road, but it’s just really difficult.
“I miss you too, Ky. All the damn time. The last few days, especially. I haven’t gotten to talk to you as much when we’re on the road. It sucks.”
“Can I ask you something?” It’s out of morbid curiosity that I want to know the answer to this question. I probably shouldn’t ask, but I’m dying to know.
He brings his head to his ear, his dark eyes narrow on me. “Of course. What is it?”
Now I’m on the hook and I’m scared to ask for the truth. “Was it…well, was it like this when you were with Lyndsay?” I swallow down the ball of fear that’s lodged in my throat. It shouldn’t matter what he felt when he was with her, but it makes me feel guilty for putting him in the very same predicament that he was in with her. Another long-distant relationship that creates more hardships than benefits.
Van closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, the tone of his voice a warning. “Ky…”
“Never mind. I don’t want to know. Forget I asked. It was stupid.” I wave at the screen and then cover my eyes with my hand, trying to avoid his gaze.
“I swear to you, Ky, this is nothing like what I was in before. Honestly, now that I have distance and space to look back at it, I think the reason Lyndsay and I stayed together as long as we did was because it was safe. Going away to school was scary. Dealing with changes in our lives. Stress and pressures of college and sports. And then for me, there’s Dougie and the challenges that brings my family. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that with Lyndsay it was familiar. Easy, maybe. But over the last year, we just realized that safety net was pulling us down rather than lifting us up.”
I consider what he’s saying, and wonder if that will happen to us. “I’m thinking about transferring.”
Van’s head snaps back against the headboard like a rubber band, nonplussed. “What? Why?”
My face crinkles up because I thought he’d be happy to hear that. I’ve actually put a lot of thought into it over the last few weeks. Being back at school, after spending time at home over the holidays had me reassessing the whole going away to school thing. Even though Van is a factor in my consideration of a transfer, I was homesick well before we got cozy together. A few nights ago, over pizza and Diet Cokes, Sienna and I had had a conversation and she actually pressed me to seriously consider it.
“A lot of reasons. For one, I’m homesick, Van.
I’m not made to be far from my family. Although Kady is in Colorado, my mom, my dad, Cade, Gramps – they’re all in Phoenix. I don’t like being so far away. It’s been really rough on me this year. I tried to make it work, get out of my shell a little more – because I knew I needed to experience being on my own for once. But I realized it’s not for me and I don’t like it.”
My voice shakes with diffidence as I continue. “And of course, there’s you.”
The words hang out there in the ether between us. At first, I’m so nervous that he’ll think I’m a flake, and a naïve girl to consider a decision to move back because of a guy. I mean, we really haven’t talked about it, so who really knows if this thing has legs and will go the distance. But I don’t think my moving back will cause a problem. Even if we don’t stay together long-term, I still want to be in Phoenix. It’s what I know and I feel comfortable there.
He’s too quiet for a moment, his eyes focused on a spot over the top of the phone.
“Kylah. Wow. I don’t know what to say, or how I feel about this. It’s strange because part of me feels you’d be crazy to give up a bright future at Harvey Mudd, with a world-class science program that will only be an asset in your quest to become a leading female scientist someday. I’d hate for you to give up on a program like that.”
His voice trails off, and his eyes follow the same path, looking away from the phone. My heart plummets, falling to the floor like a dying star. Then I see a tiny smile form on his face, lighting me with hope.
“I don’t want you to make this heavy decision because of me. I don’t ever want you to regret doing something because you just wanted to be closer to me. I won’t let you do that. You know I’ll be graduating in May, and who knows where I’ll end up with a job next year.”
I want to crawl in a hole and die. Everything he says is a crushing blow. Like taking a wrecking ball to my heart. I can read between the lines. He’s prepping me for the inevitable. It’s obvious he isn’t treating this as a long-lasting thing. I’m just a rebound fling for him.
