“Bournestein did this, Logan, not you.”
“He did it because I made him. I was the one that provoked him. I took my need to find her to such an extreme that he needed to bite me back.” His hand dropped down and he snatched up a handful of ash, shaking it. “And just look—look at what I’ll destroy for her. Anything. Everything. When is it enough?”
Cassandra shrugged, her answer almost immediate. “I guess it’s enough when you have her back.”
“It’s not that simple, Cass.”
“I think…” She paused, her mouth clamping shut for a moment before she nodded to herself and continued. “Sometimes I think we are made how we are made and one cannot truly deny one’s nature. I would venture to guess that is the case between you two. After hearing the story of how you two were together, how she followed you into war. What you did to save her, the men that died.”
“She told you that?”
“She did—when you went down to talk to the guards. I don’t think she meant to betray confidence, but you must remember, what you told her was a shock, and added to the fact that she had just run off with a man she knew was her husband, but couldn’t remember much of her life with. She was looking for reassurance that you were everything she believed you to be.”
“So what did you say to her?”
“We reassured her.” An easy smile came to Cassandra’s face. “Logan, you are everything that a man should aspire to be. Loyal, strong, honorable, and with the ability for unspeakable kindness. And you love that woman. It is obvious she is your match. She knew all of that, but she was just worried that her own mind was failing her—playing tricks on her. She was worried that she wanted you so deeply she was lying to herself about who you truly are as a person.”
Cassandra waved her hand. “But the crux of the matter is that you need each other, and neither one of you will truly be happy—truly find some semblance of peace—unless you are together.”
“You have become a romantic, Cass.”
“I have always been a romantic, Logan.” She grabbed his hand, unfurling his fingers and then carefully brushing the ashes and charred remains from his skin before clasping his hand between her palms.
Her look lifted from their hands and she met his eyes. “And if you two being together means that you destroy things to protect her, then you’re going to destroy things.” She glanced around her, then patted his hand, a crooked smile on her face. “Just be smart about it. Maybe try not to burn any more buildings down.”
He couldn’t resist a meager smile. “So where does that leave me?”
“Logan, for as long as I have known you, you have been taking care of others—I would venture to guess you’ve been doing that very thing since you could walk and talk. And you’re a master at it. Everyone around you is better for crossing paths with you.” She released his hand. “But I think it’s time for you to take care of yourself, for once.”
“Meaning?”
“I believe it’s time you give yourself leave to embrace your nature. You need Sienna, and you need to do whatever it takes to get her back. Whatever happened between you two, you need to find a way back to her.”
He shook his head. “But what I did, Cass—there is no forgiveness.”
“Well then, she needs to find a way back to you.” She set her hand lightly on his knee. “There is always forgiveness. And my guess is that if she is worthy of you, she will find a way to forgive you.”
“How can she find her way back to me if she won’t even see me? She left London to escape me.”
Cassandra’s head dropped forward in consideration for a long moment. Then she gasped, looking up at him with a cringe. “I am channeling Adalia right now, what her answer to your question would be—not my own.”
“Which is?”
“Have you considered kidnapping?”
{ Chapter 16 }
It wasn’t a kidnapping, per se.
It was a very large sum of funds that had been transferred to the woman that had posed as Sienna’s grandmother for her cooperation. As Roselawn was now under constant guard by Bournestein’s men, it had taken a bit of trickery to extract Sienna from the estate.
A help to that end, Cassandra had managed to arrange the transfer of funds as she and her husband took an extended trip to the north and travelled through Sandfell. Cassandra and Rorrick had arranged a meeting with the grandmother through the neighboring baron, and Cassandra had delivered the proposal to the woman—assist with bringing Sienna north, and she would receive the funds and a new estate to live out her days far away from Bournestein’s tentacles.
The elderly woman had gladly accepted the offer.
For extra assurance, Logan had managed to convince the one person that could ensure Sienna’s unimpeded travel north to Northumberland. His brother.
The last person Logan had wanted to see, Robby had appeared at the carcass of the Revelry’s Tempest hours after the last embers had sizzled to ash.
In the daylight, Logan could see the toll spending years in Newgate had taken on Robby. His grey eyes had aged a thousand years, his cheeks gaunt, sunken under the dark circles rimming his eyes. Even though he’d grown to nearly the same height as Logan, where muscle had once been prevalent, now his clothing hung limply on the sharp bones jutting from his skin.
Robby had stepped up to Logan in the middle of the debris of the building, alone, with no Bournestein brutes accompanying him. Odd, for Robby was still the heir to Bournestein’s empire.
Logan had wondered how Robby managed the feat until Robby simply said four words, “How can I help?”
That had been a fortnight ago, and now Logan stood outside his castle in Northumberland, Shadowmoor, watching his brother walk down from the ancient structure to the stables where he waited.
Logan exhaled his breath in a long whistle, the dread he’d held in his chest for the past fortnight easing from his lungs. Not until that very moment did Logan know if his gamble on his brother would turn to his favor.
The last person he trusted to deliver Sienna to him just happened to be the only person he trusted.
Robby strode down the hillside and Logan was still unsettled at how his brother had grown—how the set of his shoulders had widened since the last time he’d seen him when they were young. Eleven years. Eleven years since he’d left with Sienna—left Robby behind in London.
Robby’s frame now filled out his dark tailcoat and trousers well, his gait long and purposeful. His hair still long and unkempt—he hadn’t bothered to get it cut since getting out of Newgate—dark strands fell into his eyes and he had to continually brush them back.
He’d put meat back onto his bones in the short time he’d been out of Newgate. His sunken cheeks had filled back in, the dark circles disappearing from his eyes. But the horrors that Robby had suffered in Newgate had scarred him.
Scarred him far more than their life in St. Giles ever had—scarred him deep in his soul.
Logan had seen it instantly the first time he talked to Robby at the remains of the Revelry’s Tempest. And the two subsequent times after that they spoke, the haunted ghosts in his brother’s eyes had not faded.
Foot tapping, Logan waited just inside the main entrance of the center stable out of direct view of the castle.
His brother stopped in front of him. “It is done. She is in her room.”
“The travel here was uneventful?”
“It was. Bournestein’s men didn’t even question that I was sent there to bring her and Nan Rose to a new estate Bournestein had purchased.”
“Nan Rose?” Logan started, his head shaking. “Nan Rose? As in our nanny, Rose? That’s the woman that posed as Sienna’s grandmother?” The image of the aging beauty, wrapped in her favorite yellow shawl, flashed in Logan’s mind. Having aged out of Bournestein’s stable of whores, Nan Rose had found new purpose under his roof raising Sienna, Logan, and Robby where their mothers could not.
“Yes. Sienna never told you her name?”
&n
bsp; “No, and I just assumed she was a woman hired by Bournestein to keep Sienna at Roselawn.” Logan rubbed the back of his neck. “Had I—is she—Nan Rose—has she left? Is she happy with moving to the coast?”
For all Nan Rose had done for them as children—actually showed them kindness, a rare commodity in their world—Logan wanted to make certain she was well taken care of. He would be sure to send an extra sum of funds to the solicitor he had set up for her on the coast of Norfolk so she would want for nothing. Her birthplace, it was where she requested to Cassandra to have a home purchased for her.
Robby glanced over his shoulder to the castle. “After she told Sienna she needed to rest, I snuck her down the back stairs and set her in the carriage myself, although I requested she not tell me her destination. The less I know, the better. She seemed pleased, a weight lifted from her shoulders.” His hand lifted, fingers pushing back his long dark hair that hung in his eyes. A miniscule grin lifted the edges of his lips. “Nan Rose always wanted the three of us together—less trouble for her that way. So she left as content as I imagine she could be after the hardships of her life.”
“Had I known…”
Robby’s haunted eyes pierced him, the line of his mouth grim. “I thanked her enough for both of us, Logan.”
“For everything?”
“Everything.”
Logan inclined his head. He looked past Robby’s shoulder to the southeast turret of the keep where he’d set Sienna’s room to be. She was most likely in there, humming to herself as she unpacked, straying to the window to plot out the trails to ride upon.
Logan glanced at Robby, hedging his next question, afraid of the answer. “Does Sienna…remember anything more? Could you discern as much?”
“I don’t think so. Not from what you told me.” Robby shrugged. “There was a flicker of recognition when she saw me, but I could tell she couldn’t quite place me other than I looked like you. Once Nan Rose introduced me, she was excited to learn we’d be traveling together. She didn’t remember me, exactly, but she peppered me with questions about our childhood—how we grew up—the entire way.”
“Did it spark any memories for her?”
“I don’t believe so.” A frown set on Robby’s lips. “She is still desperate to have her memories return to her. She has not given up on that course.”
“I don’t imagine she would have. It is not in her nature to give up.”
“Nor yours.” Robby flashed him a quick smile. Logan couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen a true smile from his brother. “Oh, and you should know, Logan, she did ask about her mother.”
Logan stilled, his heart suddenly in his throat. “What did you tell her?”
“I think the question is what did you not tell me, Logan?” Robby’s look strayed to the side, his head shaking for a long moment before he pinned Logan with his grey eyes. “You killed Sienna’s mother?”
Logan winced.
“Why didn’t you tell me what happened—if that even is what happened? I have a hard time believing it—did Bournestein lie to her? Or did you truly kill her mother?”
Logan nodded, bracing himself.
“Laudanum?”
Logan nodded again.
Robby sighed, his fingers running through his hair. “Blast it, why didn’t you tell me, Logan? All this time—I’m your brother—you could have told me.”
Logan drew a deep breath, his shoulders sagging on the exhale. “All I wanted to do was protect Sienna—just have her mother sleep through the night—it was that day we accidently turned Sienna’s arm purple and I knew she would take a beating.”
Logan paused, his chest rising as he drew strength into his lungs. There was nothing more he needed to hide from his brother at this point. “I didn’t tell you because you were so young, Robby, just like Sienna. I didn’t want you to know what I did. I didn’t want anyone to know. I especially didn’t want Sienna to know. And I didn’t want either of you to have to bear the knowledge of what I did. It wasn’t fair. We needed each other to survive and I could not break that.”
His brother’s eyebrow arched at him. “You were young too, Logan. What about you bearing it?”
“Young or not, I did it. And I knew it would destroy everything one day. Just as it has.”
“Or not.” Robby glanced back to the castle. “She has a sadness about her that I can only imagine is from the absence of you.”
Logan glanced at the tower, his voice wistful. “I can only pray that is true. But she never tolerated lies from either of us. And there is nothing more grievous than what I did, who I took from her.”
His brother’s silver grey eyes narrowed at him. “I think you being taken away from her was more grievous, Logan. Bournestein did it while I was in the south, working the smuggling routes. Had I known that he’d taken her, hidden her away…” His voice trailed, his head shaking. He cleared his throat. “Plus, you have to remember, Sienna was always stubborn. The most of all of us. Perhaps she just needs time.”
Logan’s head tilted to the side and he offered a slight bow of his head.
His brother pointed past Logan. “You have a horse readied for me?”
“I do.” Logan glanced over his shoulder. “Third stall on the left. Best one in the stable.”
His brother nodded.
“Robby, I know what you’ve given up to help me.”
Robby met his eyes, his look bitter remorse. “It’s something I never should have wanted—to be Bournestein’s chosen one. That bastard took the first half of my life. I’ll not give him another year more.”
And then the smallest glimmer sparked in his brother’s eyes. A glimmer Logan recognized, just the same as he had felt on the day he and Sienna had escaped Bournestein’s clutches.
A glimmer of hope.
“Where will you go?” Logan asked.
“I don’t know.” Robby shook his head. “Not back to London. Ever.”
“How will I find you?”
A smile, genuine and wry lifted the corners of Robby’s mouth. “I don’t imagine you will.”
Logan exhaled, his lips drawing to a tight line even as he accepted the answer. “You know where to find me.”
“I do, brother.” Robby moved past him, stopping in front of the third stall. He paused, turning back to Logan. “If she does remember everything…tell Sienna…”
He stopped, his eyes tilting upward to the sky as he shook his head, looking to the rafters of the stable. His gaze dropped to Logan. “Tell her I’m sorry. Tell her I know she belongs with you. I always did.”
Logan couldn’t force words past the lump in his throat. All he could offer was a nod.
There was much to forgive, much to reconcile from their childhood.
It was time to start.
~~~
In order to free his left hand, Logan balanced the silver tray of cold meats, cheese and pears on his forearm as he squeezed the decanter of brandy along the edge next to the teapot. Not that he expected Sienna to drink the brandy. But he might need it.
He fumbled a moment with the key in the lock, metal scraping against metal until the latch clinked.
Much louder than he had intended.
He knocked on the thick oak panel of the door.
“Yes? Enter.” Sienna’s voice sounded muffled, as though she was at the far edge of the room beyond the door.
Logan turned the knob, pushing the heavy door open slowly, peeking inside. He wouldn’t put it past her to rush past him. Throw a chair. Stick him with a hairpin.
Instead, he found her standing by the south window, looking out the tall panes of glass. She glanced over her shoulder to him, her look only pausing for a second on his face before she turned back to the window, her fingers tapping on the lower rail.
Stepping into the room, he flipped a foot backward to kick the door closed.
“I should have guessed,” she murmured to herself. Her breathing had turned rapid, her shoulders lifting faster and faster with every breat
h.
She stared out the window for a long moment before her breathing slowed. Settled, she turned from the glass, her head shaking, her lip curling in a sneer. “I thought this was another one of my father’s tyrannical schemes, but I should have known this was you.”
Logan went to the small round table on the opposite end of the room by the fireplace. The largest chamber at Shadowmoor, Logan had it refurnished in the last week. He set the tray on the table.
“I brought food, tea.” He lifted the cloche covering the plate of meats, setting it on the table so she could see the selection.
No answer.
He turned fully to her. “Why did you think this was one of his tyrannical schemes?”
Her arms crossed over her ribcage as she glared at him. “You think the locked door escaped my notice?”
“I was hoping I could unlock it before you discovered it.”
“So why unlock it now?” Her eyebrow arched. “Do you intend to leave it unlocked?”
“I only had to keep you in here for a few minutes until they left, Sienna.”
“Who left?”
Logan eyed the decanter of brandy he’d set on the table. He’d need that sooner rather than later. He lifted one of the two glasses from the tray, pouring a dram which he promptly swallowed before looking at Sienna. “My brother. Nan Rose. They are gone.”
“Gone?” Her eyes went wide and she spun to the window, looking out at the open land before it met the forest wall. She twisted back to him. “So you got rid of them and locked me in a tower? This is beyond despicable, even for you, Logan.”
He winced.
She advanced on him from across the room. “Bournestein gave you the ring back, Logan, and that is all you need know from me. You’re dead to me—dead.”
“Except that I am very much alive.”
Her hand flew out to the side. “Yes, and now you think to hold me hostage? For what purpose? You think I’ll forgive you for what you did—for lying to me my whole life?”
“I was hoping for a moment to explain.”
The Devil in the Duke: A Revelry’s Tempest Novel Page 15
