I smiled. That was the same as me! I’d gone ice skating for Erin’s birthday last year and I could barely stand up.
“I guess you must have your own skates?” said Ellie.
“Yes! White ones,” I said. I could almost picture the shiny white skates with twinkling silver blades sitting in the bottom of my wardrobe.
“I hope it goes well,” Ellie said. “You can tell me all about it tomorrow! Bye, Anna!”
“Bye, Ellie,” I gulped back. The lights on the robot flickered off.
I picked up my bag and headed out to meet Mum.
Chapter Eight
I sat at my desk the next morning and saw that Ellie-bot was already switched on. Nia was by the coat pegs chatting to Shavina.
“Hi, Ellie,” I said to the robot. “How are you?”
“I’m fine,” said Ellie. “How was ice skating?”
I looked over at Nia. She was still talking, but I had to be quick.
“It was great!” I said. “We’re learning how to skate backwards.”
“Oh, wow. I bet that’s hard!” said Ellie.
I nodded and clammed up as Nia walked behind me to get to her seat. She knew I didn’t go ice skating, so I couldn’t let her hear. I could feel my cheeks beginning to burn red with the lie, so I bent down and pretended to get something out of my bag. Miss Burnell started taking the register and we all had to turn to face the front.
*
I spent the rest of the week telling Ellie even more lies. As well as ten-pin bowling and ice skating, I told Ellie that I had been trampolining and gone to football training. I hadn’t done any of those things, but the more I lied, the easier it became. I suddenly had so much to say that the words just flowed. And Ellie seemed to like hearing about it too.
On Friday, Ellie was really quiet and didn’t contribute much to class. Nia and I had both asked if anything was wrong, but Ellie kept saying that she was fine. Ellie-bot’s eyes looked sad, though, and I wondered if she had something on her mind.
Before the end of the day, Nia tried to cheer Ellie up by talking about the school fete.
“We’ll take you round all the stalls tomorrow,” Nia said. “That way you can see everything that goes on. Won’t we, Anna?”
I nodded. “Yes! It’ll be just as good as being there,” I said.
“Thank you,” said Ellie, but her voice sounded very flat. As soon as Miss Burnell said we could leave for the day, the lights of the robot turned off before we got a chance to say goodbye.
Chapter Nine
The next day was Saturday and Mum dropped me at school early so that I could help set up our stall for the summer fete.
Nia was already on the school field dressed in denim shorts and a T-shirt. For our stall we had a table and two chairs, and a deflated yellow paddling pool on the grass. There was also a foot pump, a clear plastic bag full of bright orange ducks and two sticks with golden hooks.
“Hi, Anna,” said Nia.
“Hi,” I said. “Shall I pump up the paddling pool?”
Nia flopped onto one of the chairs.
“Oh, yes, that would be brilliant,” she said.
I fixed the end of the tube into the small valve on the pool and began to press my foot up and down on the pump. I looked at Nia as she sorted through a tub of sweets. She looked exhausted and she had dark rings under her eyes.
“Are you feeling OK, Nia?” I said.
She nodded.
“Yes. I’m just really tired,” she said. “I got back late from ballet last night and was up early to come here. I’m off to the stables after this.”
I watched Nia as the paddling pool slowly inflated. She really didn’t look happy at all. Maybe being so active wasn’t always such a good thing? When I thought about it, I wondered if she ever had any down time.
Miss Burnell came over carrying Ellie-bot in one arm and a bucket in the other. The robot was glowing blue and she placed it on the table.
“Hi, Anna! Hi, Nia!” called Ellie. I was pleased to hear her sound much brighter today.
“Hi!” Nia and I said back. I pulled the pump tube out of the pool and pushed the stopper in.
“Right, it’s ready for the water now, Miss,” I said.
“Great!” said Miss Burnell. “Just fill it up with the bucket using the tap in the staff toilet. Have you got everything else that you need?”
“Yep, we’re all sorted,” said Nia, perking up.
“Wonderful. I’ll catch up with you three later,” Miss Burnell said, and headed off to help Seb and Anthony with the tombola.
“We can take it in turns getting the water if you like?” said Nia.
“It’s OK,” I said. “You’re tired. I can do it.”
Nia smiled at me and I headed off with the bucket.
It only took seven buckets to fill the small pool. We dropped the bag of ducks into the water and watched as they bobbed around.
“I know! I can be in charge of finding customers!” said Ellie. “How about this? Roll-up! Roll-up! Come and hook a duck and win some fabulous prizes!” Her voice boomed out of the robot.
Nia and I laughed. Ellie was so nice. I wished she could be here with us, but having Ellie-bot was the next best thing.
*
The school fete was a huge success. The sun shone and everyone who came along was in a really good mood. Our stall was busy, especially when families realised the famous “Ellie-bot” was working there. In fact, I think having Ellie there made us the most popular stall in the fete.
Mum came along with Henry and he managed to hook three ducks to win some sweets. I’d had such a wonderful morning that it made what happened next even more upsetting. We began to pack our stall away and things suddenly turned bad.
Chapter Ten
It all went wrong because of the paddling pool. I was busy with the bucket, scooping out the water and sloshing it onto the grass. Shavina and Erin came over. They had been running a stall where you had to knock cans over using small beanbags.
“Hi, guys!” said Shavina.
“Hi, Ellie,” said Erin. She was wearing her tracksuit from her street-dance club.
“Hi!” said Ellie. “Your dance was brilliant, Erin.” Erin’s street-dance club had performed a routine in the middle of the field and we’d taken Ellie-bot closer to watch.
Erin smiled. “Thanks!” she said. “How did your stall go?”
Nia tipped out a pile of coins from a plastic tub. “It was great,” she said. “Mainly thanks to Ellie-bot, who was so good at calling in the crowds.”
Ellie-bot’s eyes wiggled and flashed, and we all laughed.
The paddling pool was nearly empty, so I lifted one side and the water gushed out onto the grass. I twisted the pool to get the last few centimetres of water out and Ellie-bot’s head turned to watch.
“Oooh, look, Anna!” said Ellie. “The pool looks just like a skating rink!”
I froze. I looked at the bottom of the paddling pool which was shiny and white.
“Yes, yes, it does a bit,” I said. I turned away and undid the stopper on the side to let the air out. The pool slowly began to shrink.
“Anna?” said Ellie. “I was thinking that maybe I could ask my mum if I could come and see you skate one day. Do you think your coach would let me?”
I looked down at the deflating paddling pool, then turned to face Ellie-bot. Nia, Shavina and Erin were all staring at me.
Nia was frowning. “I didn’t know you did ice skating, Anna?” said Nia.
Erin took a step forwards, her arms folded. My mind raced as I tried to think of what to say. I pressed my lips together.
“You must have to travel for miles,” said Shavina. “The rink just outside town closed down a while ago.”
I swallowed. I didn’t know that. And even if the rink was still open, there was no way that anyone would believe I was having lessons. My friends knew my family couldn’t afford for me to go to any clubs.
I had two choices. I could say that I did go skat
ing but hadn’t told anyone about it, or I could deny it and say that Ellie was wrong. I had just one choice.
I smiled at Ellie-bot and felt my face stretch tightly.
“You must have misunderstood, Ellie,” I said firmly. “I don’t take ice-skating lessons.”
There was a moment when we all went silent. The eyes on Ellie-bot moved left and right to show that she was confused.
“But you said you had lessons?” said Ellie. “You said that you had your own skates and that you’d been learning how to ice skate backwards?”
Nia frowned at me.
“Anna?” she said. “Have you been lying to Ellie?”
All four of them were waiting for me to explain. I took a few deep breaths and then suddenly Mum and Henry were there. Henry was in Mum’s arms, his head resting on her shoulder. He looked exhausted.
“Hi, girls!” said Mum.
Nia, Shavina and Erin all mumbled hello. Mum turned to me.
“We need to head home now, Anna,” said Mum. “Henry needs a nap.”
“OK,” I said. I dropped the paddling pool into a heap on the grass and muttered “Bye”. I couldn’t look at my friends, as I didn’t want to see the disappointment and anger on their faces. I’d just ruined everything and there was nothing I could do about it.
I walked across the field with my family, feeling smaller and smaller with every step.
Chapter Eleven
I didn’t speak as we drove home. Mum asked if I was OK and I said I was just tired and everything was fine. I sat in the back with Henry, who was yawning but trying to stay awake. He’d won a small plastic tractor at one of the stalls and I watched him as he rolled it up and down his leg. It was such a basic toy, but he was utterly absorbed.
“That Ellie-bot is brilliant, isn’t it?” said Mum. “And Ellie seems like a really lovely girl. Miss Burnell said she’s got an appointment at the hospital on Monday to see her specialist. I got the impression it’s to find out how well the treatment has been working.”
I felt a tightness in my chest. That was probably why Ellie had been so quiet in school yesterday. She had been worried about her appointment! She’d cheered up during the fete, but I’d gone and ruined it by lying about ice skating. I wished there was some way that I could talk to Ellie.
“Mum? Do you have Ellie’s mum’s phone number?” I asked.
We turned left at a roundabout in the direction of home.
“No, I don’t, love. I’m sorry,” said Mum. She glanced at me in the rear-view mirror. “Is everything OK, Anna?”
A large lump had formed in my throat.
“Yes,” I said. “I just wanted to wish Ellie good luck for Monday and … and … to say that I’m sorry.”
My voice cracked and I felt warm tears seep out of the corner of my eyes. Mum pulled over and we parked in a layby.
“Anna?” said Mum, turning around. “What’s happened?”
It took me a while to start, but once I began to tell Mum, I couldn’t stop. I told her about all the things I’d made up and that Ellie now knew everything had been a lie. It was strange, but admitting to what I’d done felt like a huge relief.
“Oh, Anna,” said Mum.
I could see disappointment in her eyes. I looked down at my lap.
“I didn’t get a chance to explain to Ellie why I made those things up,” I said. “I didn’t know she had a hospital appointment. She must be really worried about that. And now I’ve ruined everything!”
Mum twisted around.
“And why did you lie, Anna?” she said. “Why did you make up those things?”
I kept my eyes down. I knew I’d start sobbing if I looked at Mum.
“I guess I just wanted to be like everybody else,” I said. “I wanted Ellie to think I was interesting and that I have a life.”
Henry stopped rolling the tractor along his thigh and stared at me. I think he must have sensed something was going on, even if he was too young to understand what it was.
“Is that what makes someone interesting?” said Mum. “Just because of the number of clubs they go to? Or how much money they have?”
I frowned. “What do you mean?” I said.
“I mean, can’t someone be interesting without all of that?” said Mum.
I didn’t say anything.
“Why do you like Ellie, Anna?” Mum said. “I’m guessing she’s not able to take part in clubs right now.”
I thought about it. “Ellie is different,” I said. “She’s funny and clever and she’s really easy to talk to. She’s got loads of interests like reading and making jewellery and baking.”
“But you used to love reading!” said Mum. “And what about your painting and sketching? You’ve stopped making your beautiful pictures, Anna. Why?”
I shrugged. My head was hurting as I thought about all those things I used to do. “I guess I didn’t think they were enough,” I said.
Mum patted the top of my knee. “You know what, Anna?” she said. “I think that you’ve been so fixated on being someone you think you should be, that you’ve forgotten how to be you.”
Mum smiled at me and then turned around and started the engine. We drove the rest of the way home in silence.
Chapter Twelve
On Monday I went into class with my stomach churning. The lies I had told Ellie weren’t the thing that was worrying me the most. It was Ellie’s hospital appointment. Was she going to be OK? Had her treatment worked?
I sat down at my desk. Nia was already in her seat and she looked up and smiled. I
felt a tiny moment of relief that she was still being friendly, even after my lies. Between us there was an empty space where Ellie-bot normally sat.
“Hi, Nia,” I said. Nia nodded at me but didn’t say anything. She looked sad and a little bit angry.
I looked down at the desk for a few moments and then back up at her.
“Nia?” I said. “I didn’t mean to lie to Ellie. I just got carried away. The rest of you all do so many activities and I just wanted to feel interesting for once. I’m sorry.”
Nia took a deep breath.
“OK,” she said. She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, then looked at me. “Sometimes being so busy isn’t such a good thing, you know?” Nia said.
I remembered how tired she had looked at the fete and how often her mum was waiting outside school with her car engine running, ready to dash to the next club.
I nodded.
“Are you OK?” Nia said.
She was making sure I was OK? After everything that I’d done? She was a good friend.
“I’m fine, thank you, Nia,” I said. “I’m just sad I can’t talk to Ellie to say sorry.”
Nia nodded. “We all make mistakes, Anna,” she said. “I’m sure Ellie will understand.”
Her words made me feel a bit better, but I still kept Ellie in the front of my mind all day.
At the end of school after everyone had left, I walked over to Miss Burnell’s desk and asked if there had been any news on Ellie’s hospital appointment.
“No, we’ve not heard anything yet, Anna,” she said. “I’m sure we’ll find out soon.”
Ellie-bot was sitting on the shelf behind Miss Burnell’s desk. It was turned off, so its eyes were blank as it stared out at the empty classroom. The robot seemed so vacant without Ellie at the other end making its eyes dance and her cheerful voice coming through the speaker. Ellie was what brought the robot to life.
*
I went straight to my room when I got home. A lot had happened over the past few days and I had done a lot of thinking, especially about what Mum had said about forgetting to be me.
I sat on my bed and looked at my desk. The heart collage I’d started was still propped up against the wall. Some of the pieces were a bit wonky, but it really didn’t look too bad on the whole.
Under my bed I had a small plastic tub filled with a few art materials next to a pile of old magazines. I put them all on my desk and sat down in my chair
. I was going to finish it.
*
I worked on my collage right up until dinner time and then again until it was time for bed. Mum knocked on my door after Henry had gone to sleep.
“Are you all right, love?” she asked, poking her head round my door.
“Yes, I’m fine, Mum,” I said. “I’ll just be another five minutes and then I’ll go to sleep.”
She smiled when she saw what I was doing and blew me a kiss.
I stuck the last petal piece into place, then picked up my finished collage. It was a kaleidoscope of colour. I moved the paper back and forth so that the pieces began to flutter. I smiled to myself. It looked like the heart was gently beating.
Chapter Thirteen
Mum dropped me at school the next day. I ran to the playground and stood by the main doors. As soon as the bell went, I rushed to our classroom to see if Ellie-bot was back. But the desk beside me was empty.
I felt a bit dizzy. Something bad had happened to Ellie, I just knew it. I looked for Miss Burnell to ask her what was going on, but she was in the corner talking to our headteacher, Mrs Watson.
I put my bag by my desk and sat down. Miss Burnell and Mrs Watson were talking in low whispers, looking down at the floor as they spoke. Ellie-bot was on the shelf behind them, switched off and facing the wall. Miss Burnell saw me looking and she quickly turned away. Then Miss Burnell nodded and Mrs Watson left.
Almost everyone was in their seats now. I put my arm up.
“Miss?” I said. “Miss? Is Ellie OK?”
Miss Burnell waved her arm at me. “Not now, Anna,” she said. “Let me take the register and then I need to tell you something.” She went over to her desk.
I felt tears begin to sting my eyes. It wasn’t going to be good. I just knew it.
Miss Burnell called out everyone’s names and I waited for her to get to Ellie Palmer, but she skipped it. She finished the register and Ellie wasn’t mentioned at all. Miss Burnell was holding her hands in front of her.
The Small Things Page 3
