by Skye Warren
He pulled me up, keeping my dress raised and running his hands along my body. “Are you hurt?”
It hurt everywhere, but I was too numb to feel it—a strange and contradictory feeling.
I shuddered beneath his hands.
He released me. “Get back to the truck. I need to clean up here.”
Clean up? What did that mean? I ran around the diner. His truck gleamed in the sunlight, blinding me. If I got in the back of that truck, would he touch me again? Did I want him to?
Yes, something inside me whispered. Wash them away, make me clean.
Instead I ran toward the road. I couldn’t see any other buildings nearby, but the hill crested just up ahead, blocking my sight to anything beyond. I was running on fumes after the interrupted meal and my fight with the men.
I glanced back. The truck sat exactly where I’d left. He must still have been cleaning up, whatever that meant. My muscles felt nebulous and insubstantial, but somehow they managed to drag me up the road.
At the top of the hill, the scene spread out before me with depressing majesty, a blank canvas of farmland and sky—not a building in sight. My feet slowed to a trod but didn’t stop altogether. There was nowhere to run to.
Gravel crunched beneath my feet. Then louder as the truck rolled up beside me. A hiss as the brakes halted its motion, then the door opened.
“Get in the truck.”
I glanced up at him. He didn’t sound mad, even though I’d clearly disobeyed. He even looked handsome if intimidating up high in the cab, those intense eyes. Maybe the creepiest part was how unaffected he seemed after beating up grown men, almost killing them.
Maybe he had killed them. Maybe that was what cleaning up meant.
I kept walking. With a shudder, the truck rolled forward to catch up with me.
“Get in the fucking truck, Evie.”
I stood still, thinking. It felt important, that moment. Even though I didn’t have a choice, there was a pull toward him or away. At some point those men should have walked away from me—from him. But they didn’t and they’d lost. Was that me? Fighting a fight I couldn’t win, only to get bloodied from my efforts?
Though if I imagined myself the loser, the one wielding the punches was just life, just fear. If I looked at it from just the right angle, it seemed like Hunter could be my defense. He’d certainly figured out how to combat the inevitable.
Swallowing hard, I walked to the back, waiting for him to open the heavy back door. I just knew he’d put me back there as punishment, and I wanted it. I wanted to crawl onto the thin mattress and sob.
Instead he opened the passenger side door to the cab and gestured me inside.
With my arms wrapped tightly around my middle, I walked to the front. Climbing inside exposed all sorts of new hurts in places that had been too blank with shock. I shivered in the seat, feeling cold and dirty and alone. Worst of all and completely irrational, the hurt of betrayal panged in my gut. As if he should have protected me from them. From myself.
He got in the driver’s side and started the truck without looking at me. We’d gone fifteen minutes before the tears began falling in earnest. Another five before broken cries tore from my chest, unstoppable. I hated him for not putting me in the back, where he wouldn’t bear witness to my pain.
He pulled over and shut off the engine, magnifying the gasping sobs I couldn’t hold in.
“Are you hurt?” he asked hoarsely. “Do you need to go to a hospital?”
“As if you would take me,” I spat.
“Do you need a doctor?”
A doctor? Sure, I needed a psychiatrist. I’d probably need daily sessions for the next ten years just to make sense of everything that had happened to me with Hunter, then another ten years for everything that had happened before.
I shook my head tightly. A hospital wouldn’t help anything. I didn’t even care about getting away anymore. It was all a big joke, freedom. Trapped at home or trapped out in the world. Would it help to get strapped to a hospital bed? Not at all.
The sobs threatened to tear me apart. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could go on this way. I wasn’t sure I’d ever stop. I wrapped my arms around my waist as if holding myself in.
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “I’m sorry I…I’m sorry I let them touch you. I should have been there. Should have known you’d try to run.”
A cry hitched in my throat. He’d caught onto the same perverse responsibility that I had, the implication that he should protect me even while we both knew he could hurt me.
Incredulity had a calming effect. “Don’t you see how messed up this is?”
No, I didn’t need to be afraid anymore. The worst had already happened—almost happened. And the truth had become clear when those men were on top of me.
I trusted him.
So I rephrased the question. “Don’t you see how fucked up this is? That you beat up those guys for…for…” Here my courage deserted me. “For what you did,” I finish lamely.
I saw the ripple in his throat as he swallowed. He looked less menacing in a side profile. Or maybe that was just the grief in his eyes. It didn’t look new. It looked ancient, as if it had always been there. In fact, I thought it had been, and I’d been too wrapped up in my own sadness to notice his.
“So what do you want?” he asked. “You want me to let you go?”
I said nothing.
He gestured angrily out my window. “So leave. Get the fuck out.”
Tears sprang in my eyes. Wasn’t this what I wanted? Okay, in my fantasies I was dropped off closer to civilization. But even barring that, I wasn’t sure I could get by without him. I hated the helplessness, but in this moment, with my flesh still warm from cruel hands, I hated even more the thought of wandering.
What was the point? Niagara Falls wasn’t a person. It was just another place to be alone.
He sighed. “Let me keep you a little bit longer. You can take some time to recover. Then we can talk about what to do next.”
“Are you giving me a choice to leave?”
He frowned. No, he wasn’t. “I’m just asking you not to fight me anymore. Don’t run from me. And in return I’ll show you new places. I’ll even let you sit up front.”
He said the last wryly, and I puffed a laugh.
“I guess I don’t have a choice.”
“You do. More than you realize. But I want to…I want to keep you a little longer. I’ll make it good for you. Okay?”
God, he was so messed up. This was his way of asking for a relationship.
And I was so messed up too.
“Okay.”
CHAPTER NINE
The Niagara River flows at approximately 35 miles per hour.
“Where are we going?” I asked, climbing down from the truck.
He grinned, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “Wait and see, sunshine.”
Hunter had pulled off a wide dirt road. Parking was always a challenge anyplace but a truck stop, so we stopped in some grass. It was surely illegal but no one seemed to be around. We were in the middle of nowhere, and the thought occurred to me that he could dump my body easily.
But I wasn’t afraid.
He was just too…cheerful, almost. Brimming with anticipation to show me something. Like a kid.
Silly thought.
We hiked along a trail and reached a tall metal marker: Enchanted Falls, 1 mile.
I froze, mouth open. “We’re going to see waterfalls?”
He suddenly seemed bashful. “Figured since we were passing through.”
Squealing, I threw my arms around his neck. He caught me with a small oomph of surprise but after a second, he pulled me to him in a bear hug. It had only been on impulse, but he embraced me as tightly as if he’d been waiting just for this, as if it meant something when it couldn’t.
I backed up, blushing. He cleared his throat and ducked his head, so that despite his foot and a half on me, I was looking at his profile from the top of his head. His hair
was curly, I realized in the yellow-bright sun. It was cut short, but light reflected blond strands pulled through the darker brown.
He seemed more human in the light—less sinister. I imagined him in some innocuous setting. We could have met on a trail like this, just two people enjoying the beautiful setting, the smell of pine and gentle sound of water in the distance.
“It’s not too far,” he said gruffly.
We continued along the path. It wasn’t too uneven which was a good thing, considering my shoes were basically ballet flats. I felt the shape of each pebble and twig beneath my feet almost as if I were barefoot, although less sharply. The path turned rockier as we approached, the sound rising to a roar in my ears before it even came into view.
Eager, I quickened my pace. The trail continued at its full width forward, but I heard the waterfall to my right. I began to round a small bend obscured by the trees when Hunter yanked me back.
“Careful,” he warned.
Curious, I cocked my head then turned back to the path. We crept forward together, and I understood his warning. The trail ended on a bluff overlooking the waterfall. We weren’t at the bottom of the waterfall but at the top.
My heart squeezed at the sight. Water streamed down in rushes too fast for the eye to process. Mist rose up like tendrils of steam, the wetness kissing my face as I stood there.
A tall wooden fence, rotting, was all that separated us from a downward hill that met up with the shore far below.
“Can we get to the bottom?”
“Eventually.”
He continued along the main path, and I followed him. We came out upon a wide river—the source of the falls, I realized. Though the water ran swiftly, it was clear and peaceful, nothing like the thunderous violence of the falls.
Looking at the lands untouched by man, I imagined a time when people might have traveled this river without a map. What a shock it must have been to anyone traveling this river without knowing about the falls up ahead.
To my surprise, Hunter took off his shoes and waded into the river.
He turned back, a grin on his face. “Come in.”
“What? No.”
“It’s a little chilly but you’ll get used to it.”
“I don’t do rivers. Or…nature.” That was mostly because I’d never been around rivers…or nature, but I wasn’t about to tell him that. No doubt he’d mock me.
“You don’t do rivers, but you want to see Niagara Falls.”
“I wasn’t planning on swimming in it.”
He made a skeptical sound. “Yeah, because they wouldn’t let you anyway. This is better.”
I shook my head. “Freezing to death. Falling to my death. No, thank you.”
“I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”
“Oh good, because I trust you completely.”
At that, he laughed. “Just try it out. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”
I scowled. “What are you, a motivational speaker?”
“In another life, yes. Come on. If you don’t like it, you can get back out.”
Oh fine. I toed off my shoes beside his on the dry, sandy bank. The first touch of water sent a shock up my spine, and I gasped. But I forced myself all the way inside, both fearful and excited of the strange feeling of cool water threading between my toes. The current was much stronger than it looked from the surface. It felt like it was pulling me along with it, and I had to fight just to stand still. The rocks beneath my feet were smooth and slippery.
Exhilarated, I stood in the middle of the river and looked around at the trees and fog-frosted mountains. I’d seen all of this before from just ten feet away on the bank, but it was different here. Now I was immersed, experiencing the sights as well as seeing them.
A smile of wonder crept over my face. Hunter grinned back at me, suddenly looking boyish.
“Well?” he asked.
“Not bad.”
“Hah. You love it.”
“Okay, I hate you five percent less.”
He rolled his eyes and turned to walk in the direction of the current. “Come on, let’s go.”
“Wait, where are you going?”
“I thought you wanted to see the waterfall.”
“Uh, yeah. See it. Not fall to my death in it.”
“You’re not going to die.”
“I know, because I’m not going over there.”
He shrugged. “Suit yourself. I’ll meet you back at the truck.”
“No, wait. Okay, I’m coming.”
I followed him through the river, feeling nervous but excited. I was walking through a river in a secluded park toward a waterfall. I was doing this. And I never would have done so without Hunter. I put that thought aside and focused on my steps. I slipped off a particularly rounded rock, and Hunter reached back to steady me.
“You good?” he asked, breathless. His eyes shone with excitement too. I’d never seen him so alive, so intense except when we had sex. In a way these were both carnal things, to roam and to fuck. He was a carnal man, one who found pleasure in doing and living and being. It radiated from him, and I absorbed his enthusiasm by osmosis.
No more attitude, I told myself. Not today. Just enjoy this.
“I’m good,” I said, grinning.
When we reached the edge, I looked down at the rush in awe. I couldn’t see the bottom, just the white, glittery mist a few feet down. But farther along I could see the river continue, calm again. I felt powerful, as if the water running past my shins were channeled through me.
“Crazy,” I said, not taking my eyes off the panoramic view.
“Crazy,” he agreed. “And now we jump.”
My heart sank. “I thought you were joking about that.”
“I never joke about extreme sports,” he said solemnly.
That tugged a smile out of me. I wished he weren’t so endearing when he wasn’t terrorizing me. I looked down at the waterfall again. Not that far. Definitely the kind of thing someone could survive—just not me.
“Evie,” he said in a cajoling tone. “It’s amazing. Trust me.”
“I don’t trust you,” I said automatically, knowing it to be a lie.
“It feels like flying.”
“Not very well, I guess, since you fall.”
“Yeah, but first you soar.”
Just enjoy this. “I can’t swim.”
He was surprised. “Not at all?”
“I have some vague memories of swimming at the Y as a kid. Nothing recent.”
“Well, I’m glad you told me that before I pushed you.”
My eyes widened. “You’re not serious.”
He shrugged. Damn, he had a good poker face. I couldn’t tell if he’d been joking.
“Look,” he said. “You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, but it’d be fun. I think you’d like it.”
His straightforward words cut through the fear that held me back. Yes, it would be fun. Yes, I’d like it. This was exactly the kind of thing I’d wanted to do but never had the means or the courage to actually do. Now, with Hunter, anything was possible.
“Let’s do this,” I said, feeling terrified and wondrous. “Count of three?”
He thought for a second. “Let me go down first. It’ll be easier for me to help you if you need me to if I’m not also under water.”
“Okay. Right.” God, this was crazy. I was crazy.
“Just hold your breath before you go under, and then kick your way to the top. I’ll take it from there.”
I nodded, unable to speak.
He leaned forward, almost there.
“Wait.”
He looked back. “Cold feet?”
“No, just…is this legal?”
He laughed. “Fuck no.”
Then he jumped, sending a shout that echoed through the trees around us. He disappeared into the mist, and then I heard a splash directly beneath us. A few seconds later, his head emerged farther away from the falls, hair darkened by the water and glis
tening.
“Come on, sunshine.” The words were indistinct, but I could read them on his lips.
Oh shit. No, no, no. What if I died? What if we were caught? Which was a stupid thing to worry about, all things considered, but my good-girl tendencies had been well drilled into me.
But the thing that decided me was that I couldn’t not do it. I couldn’t walk away from this challenge, from this chance to finally live.
To soar.
I jumped.
I understood what he’d meant about flying. It felt like the air caught me and lifted me even as I drew ever closer to the shore. My vision was suffused with white spray, as if I were bursting through a cloud. The water came up impossibly fast and yet slow enough to watch with wonder. I sucked in a breath and plunged under water. For a second, I panicked—can’t breathe, can’t move. But then I righted myself and found my bearings. A few strong kicks carried me to the surface.
Hunter was right there waiting for me. He must have swum closer to me while I’d fallen. He grabbed me to him, laughing.
“You did it, sunshine. I’m so proud of you.”
I wiped the water from my eyes, laughing too. “You didn’t think I would.”
“Nope, not even a little. You proved me wrong, though.”
I looked around, awareness returning to me. “We’re…”
“Underneath the falls,” he confirmed.
I wasn’t sure where exactly I’d fallen—maybe directly in the stream—but he’d drifted us behind the falls. There was a large cavern here between the curtain of water and the rockface that held them up. A steady stream of water pattered on my face, loose spray from the falls.
I became aware of his body, too. The weight of him, the heft as he supported me in the water. The hands that clasped my waist. Neither of us had removed our clothing and though my light sundress was comfortable enough for swimming, he was wearing jeans and a T-shirt.
“You’re a little bit crazy, you know that?”
He grinned. “Just a little? I’ll have to work harder.”
His words tumbled into place in my mind, solving a riddle I already understood. He wanted to be this way, crazy and mean and awful. But he wasn’t really. It was a struggle for him as much as I had struggled to be a good little girl in that house. A role we had to fill to keep someone else happy, except what made him think he should be this way? Someone, somewhere had forged Hunter in fire and although it didn’t absolve him of his sins, I was more than ever curious about who.
