Moment of Grace

by P. Creeden

  Yet as she started walking home, a sprinkle of raindrops caressed her exposed skin, and she began to wonder if perhaps she could hope. Perhaps she could have a happy ending after all.

  Chapter Four

  Charles

  Charles tossed and turned, plagued with dreams of Grace’s lips on someone else. And each time he turned, his ankle sent horrendous pain through his body. He’d hardly noticed it had been injured until he got home and sat still. The offending joint had swollen up through the night. If it didn’t get better in the morning, he’d need to have Edgar call for the doctor. He didn’t want to do that. His father had put a blanket on him as he lay on the sofa in the parlor and had made a solid fire in the fireplace. For a long while, he watched the embers, his mind clearing of anything but the crackling of the fire until it lulled back to sleep.

  When he opened his eyes again, bright sunlight streamed through the curtains. No one had woke him. Frowning, he wondered how he’d even managed to sleep in. Had everyone left to tend to the farm and daily chores, assuming he simply needed rest? Then he felt her presence before he saw her sitting in the corner, quietly knitting.

  “You’re awake, I see,” Grace greeted him warmly, setting the yarn and needles aside. “I helped out with most of the morning chores, and the doctor should be over about an hour. Are you hungry? Thirsty at all? I’ll go get something.”

  She didn’t wait for an answer but headed toward the kitchen. Charles frowned and sat up slowly. The throbbing pain in his ankle made it hard to concentrate. He had told her he would come by her house in the morning, but she hadn’t waited. From the day he had met Grace, he could see her struggle for perfection, as if she could somehow earn the love and respect of those she cherished dearly. She didn’t need to earn Charles’s love. It was a seed planted in his soul on the day he met her and had bloomed into something powerful. Guilt coursed through him as he realized how quick he was to judge someone he knew better than himself. How could he let one moment destroy a relationship that they had spent years building?

  When she returned, she had a glass of milk with her as well as a bowl of warm oatmeal with a swirl of molasses drawn on it, just the way he liked. She set it in front of him and then sat back in her chair, watching him intently. He took a sip of the milk and then met eyes with her. Her worried eyes let him know that she felt this peace was tenuous. She’d pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and chewed it in her anxiety.

  “Grace,” he started gently.

  “You don’t have to talk about it,” she said suddenly, her voice cracking as she shook her head. “We can figure this out later.”

  “I want to talk about it,” he said slowly, folding his hands in front of him on his lap.

  She breathed in slowly and nodded silently, her shoulders collapsing. “Before you start, Charles, I want you to know that I understand. I have behaved in such a way that is contradictory to the woman you fell in love with. To the woman I even thought I was. And though you may forgive me for … what I did in the stables … I know my other sin, my betrayal of my mother, is unforgivable.”

  “You can’t believe that, Grace Lynn.”

  She shook her head, deep wrinkles forming between her brows. “Wouldn’t you? If it was anyone else but me, would you believe that of them?”

  He wanted to tell her that he wouldn’t, but would she do anything more than dismiss such a quick reply? Instead he pondered her question, imagining how he would have behaved if he had been there for his mother’s final moments. Though he believed he would stay by her as she walked from this life to the next, he wasn’t so sure he’d do it gracefully. Letting go of a loved one was difficult, even more so when he or she is the last one who’d been an authority figure in life, the way Grace’s mother had been for her... or his had been for him. Finally, he answered. “I believe you’ve experienced great loss at a young age but managed to be the most loving person I know. You’ve been strong so long for everyone else. Perhaps if you hadn’t had to carry such a heavy load alone for so long, you could have allowed your mother to lean on you instead of feeling crushed under that weight.”

  A sob escaped her lips, and her hand fluttered up to cover her mouth. Tears streamed down her face as she nodded.

  Charles attempted to stand, but his ankle wouldn’t support him, and he collapsed back into his seat as pain scorched through his leg. Sweat beaded on his forehead, but he gestured toward her. “Please, come here,” he whispered, helplessly. “Let me hold you. Let me help you carry your burden.”

  Slowly, Grace stood and made her way to him. His arms wrapped around her readily. That feeling of emptiness that he’d had for months while he’d felt betrayed melted away. He forgave her in his heart, and only needed to tell her the words. But she needed to forgive herself and to realize that she was worthy of love. His heart swelled as her tears soaked through his shirt. He ran his fingers through her hair, whispering, “I love you, Grace Lynn.”

  She blinked up at him, a small glimmer of that fire smoldering in her eyes like the embers in the fireplace. “I love you, too.”

  “We can do this, my love.”

  She sighed. “I just need time.”

  “I know. I know, Grace.”

  Grace

  Grace snuggled the bunnies in her lap as she explained the events of the past few months to her dear friend, Laura. “I am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

  “Oh, Grace. It’s all right. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t quite put my finger onto what. I am so glad that you two have decided to work things out. I only hope that you can forgive yourself, Grace.”

  Grace nodded. “I am working on it.”

  A sigh lifted her chest as Grace scooped up another bunny and set it her lap alongside the other one. She petted them both absentmindedly. Charles always had a way of seeing her—the real her—when no one else could. He saw beyond the rumors and the reputation that haunted her since before they’d become friends. He saw the girl who helped others and loved fearlessly and unconditionally. He saw her redeem herself from her past and become the woman that he believed she could be. All she needed was for someone to believe in her like that. After all of that, she never would have thought herself capable of the horrible actions that plagued her since that December night—the actions that made it so Charles could no longer see her, and she could no longer see herself. Though, now, she may have redeemed herself in his eyes by telling him what hand happened and why, she knew there was still a hurt in his heart. She had kissed another man—had turned to a stranger in her time of need instead of him. She hated herself for it. And honestly, a part of her was still mad at him for not trying to see past that moment to her. For not being there when she was at her weakest. For running away instead of trying to understand.

  She shook her head, still deep in thoughts. Even though he’d forgiven her, she still needed to forgive herself... and him.

  “Whenever we have a sick one,” Laura said, eyeing the bunnies in Grace’s lap, “and we have to put ’em down, I can’t do it. I can’t even be there when it happens. Edgar takes care of it.”

  “Oh?” Grace’s brow furrowed.

  “I stopped visiting my Pa when he fell ill, too. I didn’t want to see him that way. You took care of your mother daily. You loved her, and she knew that. You know that.” She sniffed, her sad eyes watching Grace.

  Grace leaned toward her friend and hugged her across the shoulders. The two bunnies in her lap went hopping off in response to the sudden change in her position and scattered with the others about the lawn.

  “We better get up, too,” Laura said, pushing off the grass with her palms and rising to her feet. “We must have everything ready for the Easter party tomorrow and …”

  “And?” Grace asked as she followed her friend’s lead.

  “Your wedding?” Laura asked with a hopeful tilt of the head. She brushed off the back of her dress.

  “Perhaps.” Heat rushed to Grace’s cheeks as she dusted off the seat of her skir
t as well.

  The two of them grabbed the baskets of vegetables they’d picked earlier from the garden and then headed inside. Laura’s mother had already begun getting things ready for the next day and invited them both to help. Grace loved that Laura’s family had treated Grace and her sisters and brother as though they were a part of their family. Grace didn’t know what she’d have done without their help after Papa passed, but particularly after Mama did. She and Laura began peeling potatoes for the stew. Laura’s mother, Mrs. White, talked to them both while peeling carrots. “Charles invited us all to have Easter supper at the farmhouse tomorrow after the children find their eggs. I’ll just put these things in the larder until after church. We’ll finish everything up in the kitchen there. You’ve been an enormous help and a pillar for your younger sister, Grace. Remember that our doors are always open for you or your family if you need anything.”

  “Thank you so much,” Grace said, a lump forming in her throat at the woman’s generosity. The families on the nearby farms and houses tended to spend holidays together even before her father had passed away. When Charles had lost his mother, the neighbors had all been there for him, as well. Everyone in Belle loved Charles and probably even hoped that he’d choose one of their daughters to marry instead of Grace. The thought of that pinched her heart. The thorn in the corner of her heart had sudden company. Grace loved Charles, and if he’d be happy with someone else, then she should let him go. And that thought made her fragile heart shatter like glass.

  How could she be so selfish? Would it even be fair to Charles if she married him as things were? Would it be fair to her? Love filled her heart and mind for Charles, but so did fear. If she could make that kind of mistake now, what could she do after their marriage? What if she made another mistake? What if Charles stop seeing the real her again?

  Even through the fear and uncertainty, however, hope filled her with an odd sense of peace. Memories of Easter in years past comforted her and made her look forward to creating new memories with their families and neighbors all together. She leaned in and kissed Mrs. White on the cheek. “Thank you for inviting us over. I’ll be sure to collect plenty of eggs for the big hunt tomorrow after church.”

  “As many as you can, Gracie, my sister is coming over with her brood,” Laura said.

  “Oh my! I’ll bring every egg I can find, then.” Grace laughed. Mrs. White’s sister was known throughout the county as she’d had several sets of twins and triplets, her total number of children reaching twelve already. After Grace hugged her friend, she started for home.

  Chapter Five

  Charles

  As Charles knelt to say his evening prayers, he was hit with a loving rebuke. A revelation. His thought, days ago, about letting one moment shatter a relationship he had spent years building pulsed through his body. Oh, Grace… It wasn’t just her guilt for this action that he needed to recognize. She had felt the betrayal of his sudden judgment against her. She not only had to forgive herself and stop judging herself, but she had to deal with his silence, cruel behaviors, and distance that he created after he saw her kissing that man. His heart pinched in his chest. His reaction to the situation certainly hadn’t helped.

  He needed to not only make up for his actions, but he needed to show her how very special and dear she was. To him. To everyone.

  And so, he decided to recruit some help. After all, he was only a man … and a foolish one at that. He started with the staff at the farm, who eagerly agreed to do anything to help. James, the elder workman patted him on the back and saying, “Anything to get you out of the doldrums you’ve been in for the winter.”

  While Grace prepared with the others for a memorable Easter day, Charles prepared, too. He prepared to show Grace Lynn what a woman she was—in any circumstance.

  Edgar showed up that morning to share a cup of Joe after morning chores. “Laura is running around like a chicken with her head cut off for Easter today.”

  Charles nodded, sipping from his own cup. “You and I have been working hard this morning, too, despite my ankle still being a little sore. I’m glad for your help. I know that usually I give all the staff off for holidays like this, but you coming in this morning was a godsend.”

  “My pleasure, Charles,” Edgar said, studying him a moment. “And if you don’t mind me saying, you seem a bit different this morning.”

  He stared in his cup a moment, his cheeks getting heated. “I’m just hoping that Grace likes her surprise.”

  “Oh,” he said, laughing so hard he slapped his knee. “Laura told me about that! You know, if you keep up all this romantic stuff, you’re gonna make it hard on the rest of us lads. Next thing you know Laura will be expecting me to serenade her each holiday.”

  “It’s not a bad idea,” Charles offered with a wink, downing the last of his cup.

  “Poppycock!” Edgar said playfully as he took one final sip of his coffee and headed back home to get ready for the church service.

  Grace

  Though Sunday was a day of rest, and the holiday, more so, the chickens still needed to be fed and their eggs collected. Luckily the hens had given Grace a little more than a dozen additional eggs overnight to give the children in their hunt after church. Grace hid them along with the others in the yard between Laura and her house. Once she’d taken care of them, she headed back inside to make a quick breakfast of ham and grits for her younger sister before getting everyone ready for church.

  The church’s Easter service went by fast and soon everyone was invited to go home and celebrate with their families. Grace’s twin nephews, Peter and Paul, giggled boyishly about who was going to find the most eggs, and as the farm came into view, they slipped free and started running. The egg hunt had begun. It was exciting to see their little faces light up the moment they found one and how concerned they were when the eggs began to become more difficult to find. All the children went from Grace’s family home through Laura’s and then onto the farm that belonged to Charles’s family. As the hunt went on, some of the children began to group together. Much to Grace’s surprise, in the end, the twins teamed up to help each other, too.

  As she watched the children, a hand slipped to the small of her back, and comfort wrapped around her. Charles’s pine and leather scents filled her nostrils. She wanted to breathe him in and lean into his side, but she didn’t feel she had the right. This choice would impact them both for all their lives. But the feeling of his warmth filled her senses with something Grace hadn’t had the chance to feel all these months since her mother had passed, and she needed it. She clung to it. She gave in and turned around and kissed Charles lightly on the cheek.

  He smiled and pulled her into a tight hug; not something he often did in front of others.

  A gasp escaped Grace’s lips. “Charles,” she whispered harshly. “You’re being scandalous.”

  He lifted an eyebrow and shrugged but didn’t release his hold.

  “You two are adorable.” Laura winked.

  Grace widened her eyes and then shrugged out of his hold. “Be that is it may, I should probably go help in the kitchen, considering that the usual farmhouse staff has the day off.”

  “You’re right.” Charles smiled mischievously. “Let’s go inside.”

  Laura giggled, punching her husband’s arm.

  “Wait,” Grace said, stopping mid-step to frown at her friend. “What is going on here?”

  “Nothing!” Laura said immediately, only to prove that there was most definitely something happening.

  “Just come and see,” Charles said as he grabbed Grace by the hand and led her to the farmhouse.

  Grace’s stomach tightened and her jaw clenched. Everyone seemed too happy for Charles to be announcing the end of their engagement, but Grace couldn’t help but wonder what he had up his sleeve. At the door of the farmhouse, Charles fiddled with the lock and frowned. “Seems to be jammed. I’ll just run in the back and let you guys in.”

  “Can you just ring the bell?”
she asked. “Someone should be inside…”

  “I don’t want to interrupt everyone,” he said nonchalantly as he pointed toward her again. “You, wait here.”

  Grace lifted a brow at that. This whole incident seemed strange, but she had the feeling that she’d best play along. She turned about to see how the children were doing and if they’d found all the eggs yet, but couldn’t find anyone from this perspective on the porch. Just when she was about to step off and peer around the corner of the house, the door clicked open.

  She turned back and found it open, but only a crack. Her stomach flipped. “Charles?” she called out, reaching for the doorknob.

  He didn’t respond, and for the briefest moment she was scared to open the door. Much like the night she hid from her mother, because if she didn’t see it, it wasn’t happening—she wanted to turn around and hide from this. But she knew she had to keep going. A force beyond herself twisted the knob open, and she stepped inside. The petals of wildflowers were scattered everywhere. On the floor. On the tables which held vases of full of purple thistle and columbine, her favorite color.

  A sweet, familiar melody echoed in the entryway, and Grace followed the path of flowers quietly in awe, until she made her way to the parlor. Sitting at the piano was her older sister, Emma, who Grace hadn’t noticed had sneaked off earlier in the day. And that’s when Grace realized, this was a hymn their mother often sang to them during Easter and Christmas.