“Hey, I’m new to being a shifter, not new to popular culture. I watched Twilight like everyone else.”
Dean shook his head in mock disappointment.
“Of course you did. Right, so every alpha in the country gets a place in the alpha pack – kind of like a grand council of shifters. The Alpha of Alphas is the wolf in charge of the alpha pack. The most powerful shifter in the country.”
“Wait,” I said, setting my fork down – the steak was done and I’d lost interest in the salad. “You said every alpha wolf gets a place. What about other types of shifter?”
Mei gave a little bitter laugh.
“Our place is to obey – or be banished from the pack’s territory.”
“Their territory being…?”
“The whole of England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales.”
“So you just have to fit in with whatever they decide, or you have to leave your home?”
“That’s how we came to be in this country to begin with. My parents were driven out of China when I was a baby.”
“That’s…” I groped for the right word and decided that my anger wasn’t what was needed here. “That’s awful. I’m sorry.”
Mei shrugged, feigning indifference and fooling no-one.
“It is ancient history. I was too young to remember home, and you can’t miss what you don’t know.”
She picked up her glass, lifted it halfway to her mouth, then set it down again.
“My mother, though, she spoke about it often. She would have liked to have returned, I think.”
“I’m sorry,” I said again, but it didn’t seem like enough. Not even close. This new world was a mess, as prejudiced and screwed up as the one I’d grown up in.
“Don’t be. It’s just the way things are.”
I had the sense not to press it. I cast around for a change of subject and caught sight of my schedule sticking out of my bag, and plucked it out.
“I’ve got Law next,” I said. “What about you two?”
“Same,” Dean said.
“Ah.” I put my schedule down. “I’m guessing we have every class together, courtesy of Blake? Not that it’s a problem,” I tacked on hastily, before he had a chance to get his feelings hurt again.
“We do,” he said. “But not for the reasons you think. They just divide everyone up according to room assignments.”
“Oh.” Way to go, Jade. Your paranoia’s showing. “So, I’m guessing this Law isn’t the same law I was planning to study at UCL?”
“Not unless you were planning to study pack law. You finished with your food? We should get going.”
I was, so we grabbed our bags and left the hall, cutting through the castle’s winding corridors until we reached a plain door. I saw Madison stepping through the door in front of us and rolled my eyes. I was going to be stuck with her in every single class. That was just bound to be a bundle of laughs.
Dean made for a seat near the front, and I grabbed his arm with a shake of my head, then led him to a table at the back of the room. No way was I sitting near the front in a class that I was – at best – a decade behind everyone else in. I mean, I didn’t even know shifters existed a month ago. You could count the number of their laws I knew on one hand – and have three fingers and a thumb left over. Nope. I needed to be at the back of the class, where I could take as many notes as I needed, and no-one was going to ask me any questions.
“Good afternoon, everyone. I’m Instructor Lewis Taylor, and you’ll be studying law with me this year. Now, I know no theory lesson is going to hold that much interest for you, so I’ll try not to take it personally if this isn’t your favourite class, so long as you try not to actually fall asleep during my lectures – it looks bad on my review.”
My lips twitched into a smile. Maybe things weren’t all bad at Fur ‘n’ Fang. I mean, sure, it wasn’t exactly the law I’d been planning to study, but it was still law, and Lewis wasn’t the dullest speaker I’d ever studied under.
“Some of you may have very little knowledge of pack law,” he continued, his eyes sweeping the room – for me, I was sure. “Rest assured, I intend to bring you all up to the standard required by the end of the year. Let’s start with the basics.”
He turned his back on us and walked over to the whiteboard hanging on the wall. I grabbed a notepad from my bag and flipped it open. They might be basics to him, but I was starting from zero here.
“The law exists to protect everyone, be they shifter, mundane, or one of the other magical communities.”
“Magical communities?” I asked Dean from the corner of my mouth.
“Druids, and such,” he said.
“As in, actual magic?”
He dipped his chin in a curt nod. I wasn’t sure why it surprised me, I turned into a damned wolf for crying out loud – but magic? Come on, I was just getting my head around the idea of shifting. Magic and druids seemed like one ask too many, if you asked me. But no-one had, so I crammed the thought in a dark box at the back of my mind and focused on what Lewis was saying.
“Officially, we reside under druidic law, but the packs have always ruled their own, and it has been generations since druids interfered in the affairs of shifters. The enforcers act for the Alpha of Alphas, dispensing justice on his behalf. Name a law. Anyone.”
There was a long moment of silence – maybe a few of the less academically inclined students had already drifted off to sleep. Then one of the guys – the hot Scottish one – spoke up.
“Dinnae hunt on pack lands without yer alpha’s consent.”
“Yes, good,” Lewis said. “And the punishment? Someone else.”
“Banishment,” a voice answered from somewhere near the front. Lewis nodded, wrote it on the board, and I copied it down into my notepad. Good to know. Not that I’d been planning on going poaching any time soon, but still.
“Give me another.”
Madison cast a look in my direction, her lips curving in amusement.
“Biting a,” she sniffed, “mundane.”
A few students twisted to look in my direction, and whispers whipped around the room. Lewis ignored them.
“And the punishment?”
It was Dean who answered.
“Death.”
“What?” I twisted round to stare at him. “We don’t have the death penalty in this country!”
Madison’s answering cackle set my teeth on edge.
“This isn’t the world you thought it was, little mundane. We have rules, and we’re not afraid to enforce them.”
“Right,” I said. “Because that’s worked out so well for you. I mean, bang up job of keeping everyone in line.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. No surprise, given your… breeding. Without pack law, there would be anarchy.”
“There’s a reason countries with the death penalty don’t have a lower crime rate than ours, and that’s because it’s a shit deterrent.” I gestured up and down my body with one hand. “Case in point.”
“Well, no wonder you think the cur who bit you shouldn’t be punished. After all, he plucked you from your mediocre little life and gave you something that was meant for your betters.”
“That’s enough,” Lewis said firmly, and I bit down on my tongue and jerked my eyes away from Madison. Mediocre little life, my arse. I liked my life. None of this shifting bullshit, and magic, and banishments, and secret societies killing people.
Lewis levelled his eyes at Madison.
“Name?”
“Madison,” she said with a pout. Then, with a hint of smugness, “Capell.”
If she’d been expecting a reaction when she dropped her family name, she’d have been disappointed. Lewis didn’t so much as blink.
“Well, Madison,” he said, “in this lecture room you will hold a civil tongue in your mouth. Healthy debate is encouraged. Racial slurs are not. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes, Instructor Taylor,” she said, abruptly contrite. It lasted as long
as it took him to nod and look away, then the sour look was back on her face. She clearly wasn’t used to being slighted.
“Now, where were we? Someone give me another law.”
Chapter Twelve
I left Law feeling like maybe Fur ‘n’ Fang wasn’t the worst place in the world – a feeling which lasted until I spent an hour and a half looking completely incompetent in Combat class. I was the only person there who couldn’t even throw a punch properly. It was only thanks to Dean and Mei getting in the way of Madison’s attempts to partner with me that I wasn’t completely humiliated. But we had Combat twice a week, so there was plenty of time for that.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, it was followed by an hour of fitness training – because apparently getting thrown around for an hour and a half wasn’t fitness training enough. Worse, alongside meditation and Shifting 101, fitness would be a daily staple of my routine. And, of course, they weren’t the only things. By the time I’d taken a shower and grabbed a meal in the dining hall, it was half-past six, and I was knocking on the door to Shaun’s study.
“Come in,” he called. “Ah, Jade. Thanks for coming.”
I shrugged. “I said I would.”
We both knew what he really meant – thanks for not trying to break out again. Though the way my day had gone, it didn’t seem like such a bad idea right now.
“Talk to me,” Shaun said, scanning my face. He perched on the edge of his desk and gestured to a chair in front of it.
I slumped into the chair and wondered where to begin. Like any good interrogator, Shaun stayed silent, giving me enough rope to hang myself. No, wait, that wasn’t fair. He really was trying to help. It was just, I wasn’t sure there was anyone who could help with this. Not unless they knew how to take this shifting power back out of me. Even if they could, which I knew they couldn’t, I’d never be able to unsee what I’d seen. I knew this entire secret world existed now, had existed the whole time, hidden in the shadowy corners of my own. Shaun couldn’t change any of that. But neither was it his fault.
“It’s, um… I’m adjusting.”
“I heard you had a bit of a run in with Madison.” I jerked my eyes up to meet his. “Yes, instructors do talk to each other.”
“I can handle it.” I had no idea how I was going to do that, but I’d dealt with worse than spoiled little princesses in my life. I’d handle it.
“Okay then,” he said. “Why don’t you tell me what’s really bothering you?”
“You mean other than my whole life being irrevocably changed?”
“Yes, other than that.”
He stared at me so long I started to fidget. I avoided his eye when I answered, looking instead down at my own hands twisting in my lap.
“She’s right. I don’t belong here.”
“I disagree,” he said. “You’re a shifter. This is exactly where you belong.”
“And after I leave here? My life will never go back to normal, will it?”
He grimaced. “Normal is going to mean something different for you from now on. But that doesn’t have to mean worse. Speaking of which,” he twisted round and picked up some sheets of paper. “Your deferment papers. You can fill them out now, if you want, or you can take them with you and drop them back when you’re done.”
I helped myself to a pen from his desk. Might as well get it over with. Plus, if I was doing this, he might give the psychoanalyst routine a rest. I was entitled to be a bit screwed up right now. I’d been turned into a freak, thrown into a world where I was an outcast, and I was being held against my will at a secret academy. Who the hell would be okay with that?
I was half-way through filling out the form when a realisation struck me. I stopped, my pen frozen mid-word. Shaun looked up from whatever he was doing on the other side of his desk.
“Problem?”
“Yes, there’s a problem.” I tossed my pen back on the desk. “You can only defer for a year. I’m stuck here for at least three.”
He said nothing, just watched me across the desktop.
“You knew! You knew, and you had me doing this anyway. What, did you think it was a good way to keep me quiet, get me to play along without making a fuss?”
I glared at him, and he didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed.
“Look, Jade…”
I shook my head sharply, pushing my chair back.
“Are we done here?”
“Yes, we’re done.”
“Good.” I turned and stalked to the door.
“Your hands are shaking.”
“So what?” I spun back round, ignoring the pounding in my ears. “Stop pretending you give a damn!”
“You’re going to shift. The training cuff won’t stop you.” His words were calm and measured, and he made no move to get out of his chair.
Shit. He was right. My hands were already starting to blur.
“The way I see it, you’ve got two choices. You can walk out of that door and try to handle this by yourself. If you shift and Alpha Blake gets wind of it, the consequences could be severe. Or you can let me try to help you.”
“I don’t want to shift,” I said through clenched teeth. I could feel movement under my skin, and the memory of my agonising shift in the dungeon flashed to the forefront of my mind. I never wanted to shift again. Damn them for putting me in this position!
“Good,” Shaun said. “I’d also like you not to shift, because we don’t have a cage in here and your shifted form seems particularly aggressive. Why don’t you take a seat?”
“I…” My shoulders rippled, and I grunted in pain, staggering back and bracing myself against the wall.
“Okay, the wall’s good,” Shaun said, stepping from behind his desk and coming closer.
I bared my teeth at him, an inhuman snarl ripping from my throat.
“Easy,” he said, stopping halfway across the room from me. I tracked his movements, waiting for him to come within range, snarling again as I warned him not to. Pain ripped along my spine and I doubled over with a gasp.
“Jade, listen to me.” I snapped my head back up to glare at the instructor. “You can control this. You need to calm down.”
Calm down? Why the hell should I?
“You did this to me! All of you!” My voice was hoarse and scratchy as I shouted, but Shaun didn’t so much as blink.
“Control your anger, and you’ll control the shift.”
I didn’t want to control my anger. I had every right to be pissed at them, and it would feel good to take it out on him. I could smell his blood pulsing beneath his skin, and soon I would taste it as I ripped and shredded–
I shuddered with revulsion and sucked in a deep breath. I didn’t want to shift. I was the only one who could control that now. I wanted to stay human. I did not want to attack Shaun. I took another deep breath that juddered all the way into my lungs.
“That’s it, Jade,” he said. “Just keep breathing. You can do this.”
A shiver ran through me, and I leaned back against the wall, panting. The pain eased, but my hands still trembled. They weren’t blurred around the edges anymore.
“Come on,” Shaun said, closing the gap between us. “Let’s get you into a chair.”
He steered me back to his desk and I went obediently, barely in control of my own limbs. I sank into the chair, every part of me shaky and cold.
“Drink this.”
He gave me a glass of water and my hands shook so much that I slopped half of it over the rim. Fuck’s sake.
“Don’t worry, that’s normal. Your body is just reacting to the aborted shift.”
I tried again, and this time managed to get a mouthful of the cool liquid inside my mouth. Shaun watched me in silence from his own seat, and it wasn’t until my shivers had all but given up that he spoke.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have given you false hope about deferring your studies. We– I thought it would help you adjust if you had something else to focus on.”
I snorte
d, but I didn’t trust my voice not to shake, so I kept my mouth clamped shut.
“For what it’s worth, I know you’ve been dealt a rough hand, and I was trying to help you get through it.”
“By lying to me?” Dammit, I was right. My voice was shaking. “You, and Blake, and everyone else, just telling me what I want to hear, until I agree to play along like a good dog?”
“Like it or not, Jade, you’re stuck here–”
“I’d go with not.”
“–and you’re going to have to find a way to deal with that. You already know why you can’t return to your old life right now. What would have happened if all of that–” he gestured to the wall I’d been braced against, just in case I hadn’t been able to work out what he meant by all of that, “–had happened at UCL?”
I didn’t answer because I knew he was right. That didn’t mean I had to like it, though.
“I know you didn’t ask for this, and what happened to you was deeply unfair–”
“Yeah, no shit.”
“–but sooner or later you’re going to have to decide if you want to keep being a victim.”
“Excuse me? None of this was my fault!” I couldn’t believe he was dumping this victim blaming crap on me. Of all the nerve.
“No, it wasn’t. But you can’t change what happened. You can only change how you handle it.”
I slumped back in my seat, in no mood to sass his obvious logic. His face softened.
“Give yourself a break,” he said. “This is still new to you. You’re doing better than anyone could expect.”
They must’ve had low expectations, then, because I was a mess, and I didn’t have the first idea how not to be.
“How am I supposed to deal with this?”
“Let me ask you something.”
I lifted my eyes from the desk, and he continued.
“Is this really the very worst thing you could imagine happening to you?”
“Yes.” I sighed. “No.”
“Well, that’s something, right? Maybe start there.”
Chapter Thirteen
I fell into a routine after that. A crappy routine that I despised and resented, but a routine none-the-less. Every day after fitness training, a shower and dinner, I’d drag myself up to Shaun’s office, and he would talk to me about adjusting, and I would give him attitude in return. Neither of us brought up UCL again, but on the plus side, I also didn’t try to change into an animal again, so that was something.
Moon Bitten (Fur 'n' Fang Academy Book 1): A Shifter Academy Novel Page 8
