I rolled my eyes and hoped the low lighting would hide the flush on my cheeks.
“That would be more of a compliment if you didn’t sound quite so surprised.”
The heavy thrum of bass covered most of Dean’s spluttered response. He wasn’t the first guy who’d tracked my movements across the small dancefloor when I made my fashionably late entrance. The dress hugged my figure in all the right places, and the heels did the rest of the work. With my makeup carefully applied, and my dark hair falling around my face in sculpted waves, the shadow of bruising around my eye was all but invisible. In the hall’s soft lighting, no-one would notice it. I owed whoever had done the decorating a massive thank you. I owed Madison something, too, but I wasn’t going to ruin my night worrying about her. I was going to make every guy here see what he was missing out on, and then I was going to get very, very drunk.
“Uh, Jade, lass?”
I turned around and almost crashed right into Cam – the hot Scottish guy who was in most of my classes. He looked a little flushed and his eyes were wide as they drank me in. He must’ve hit the bar early. I mean, I looked good, but I didn’t look that good.
“Would yer, I mean, d’ya want tae dance? Wit’ me, I mean?”
He ran a hand through his thick dark hair, looking all kinds of anxious. That was kind of flattering. A girl could definitely get used to this sort of attention. I flashed a smile at Dean over my shoulder and ignored him rolling his eyes.
“I’ll see you later.”
I wrapped my hand in Cam’s. “Lead the way.”
We made our way onto the dancefloor, more than one pair of eyes following us. I was more than just the mundane who’d been bitten right now. I was the new girl: exotic, desirable, the one none of them had ever met growing up. And it felt good.
I leaned into Cam as we moved to the music, inhaling his scent. Across the room, I caught a flash of blonde hair and glaring eyes. Madison clenched her jaw, staring at my hand on Cam’s hip. I wasn’t exactly clear if she had a problem with me being with him specifically, or just the concept of someone noticing me as anything other than an outcast, and I didn’t much care. If I was upsetting the little pack princess, that was the icing on an already perfect cake. I blew her a kiss over my partner’s shoulder and then put her from my mind.
“You look stunning,” Cam said, leaning close to me.
“Thank you,” I purred up into his ear, swaying my hips to the heavy bass. The music picked up and words became a thing of the past. This was what I’d been craving. The lights, the music, the closeness to another person. The feeling of being so absorbed in the moment that nothing else existed, not my bite, not the academy, just me and the guy I was dancing with.
Time fell away. We danced, we laughed, we acted like normal people doing normal things.
“Do yer want a drink?” he asked as another song wound down.
“Sure.” Alcohol was the only thing my night was missing right now.
He wound his hand in mine – shifters were all about tactile – and led me from the floor, locking eyes with anyone who dared to look at me too long. I hadn’t figured Cam for a caveman, but I liked it. I liked a lot of things about him, not least the way his body moved as we wound through the packed bodies, carving a path through the other shifters. Cam may not have been the blood of an alpha, but dominance rolled off him in waves.
He claimed a couple of drinks and handed one to me. I chugged half of it back, then Cam caught my eyes and held them, but there was nothing confrontational in our gaze. It was all challenge and compulsion, mine and his. He lowered his lips to mine, and I stretched up to him, head tilted back.
As he bent lower, I caught a flash of movement behind him. I frowned, ducking out of the way of his lips.
Oh. My. God.
I couldn’t believe it. Madison and Dean.
Kissing.
Chapter Sixteen
“She’s using you!”
Dean glared at me across the dorm room. I glared right back. After the amount I drank last night, I should have felt like my head was exploding – I’d earned the mother of all hangovers. But it wasn’t my head that was troubling me.
Dean twisted his head away, breaking eye contact and staring at the wall behind me.
“Maybe she is, maybe she isn’t. It doesn’t matter.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t expect you to understand.”
“Why, because I was bitten, not born like this?”
“Yes!” He turned his eyes on me again, and they were burning with frustration. “Jade, you didn’t grow up in our world. You don’t understand the pressure I’m under. My parents expect me to form a bond with the daughter of another alpha – to strengthen our pack.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“That’s the way things are. The way they’ve always been. One day I could be alpha of my pack, and I have to have a strong mate. And I know you don’t like Madison, but she’s strong. And she’s clever. Beautiful.”
“And a bitch. Dean, can you even hear yourself right now? She’s shallow, and the only reason she wants anything to do with you is because of me.”
Dean snorted a bitter laugh and shook his head.
“How full of yourself are you, Jade? This is nothing to do with you. Our parents matched us, and our bond will strengthen my claim for alpha.”
I ground my teeth together. Dean was infuriating.
“Why can’t you see how fucked up this all is?” I demanded.
“And why can’t you just accept that this is the way it is?”
“Because it’s wrong! You don’t even like her.”
“Enough, Jade!” He rose to his feet and towered over me. “I’m with Madison. Get used to it.”
I glared at him, getting up in his face, my hands curling into fists at my sides.
“So you’d still be with her, even if she wasn’t the daughter of an alpha?”
“Why do you care so much, anyway? I saw you sloping off with Cam last night.”
How could he even ask– Wait… he was right. Why did I care so much? It didn’t matter to me who he hooked up with, and he’d made it perfectly clear he wasn’t interested in my opinion.
“I don’t,” I said, pivoting on my heel and snatching my hoodie from the end of my bed. “I hope you’re both very happy together and have lots of fat little puppies.”
I stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind me.
“Whoa, easy there.”
A pair of powerful arms wrapped around me, and I tensed to fight until the scent penetrated my senses. I blinked up into the dark eyes watching me.
“Cam.”
He frowned.
“What’s wrong, lass? If yer dinnae want t’ see me…”
Hurt flashed across his face, making him look vulnerable as a lost kid. I shook my head.
“It’s not that. I need some air. Come on.”
I led him through the castle with no particular idea where I was headed. I needed to put some space between me and that idiotic, pig-headed moron. I mean, Madison, of all people. What was he thinking? Sure, she might have a good pedigree, but… Madison!
Eventually we emerged outside in the stark morning light. It was as good a place as any. I slowed my march to an amble, and Cam slowed beside me. For a moment I’d forgotten he was even there, I was so wrapped up in my anger at Dean’s stupidity. I sucked in a breath of the crisp air and exhaled it slowly. I wasn’t going to let him ruin my morning, any more than I’d let him ruin last night.
Cam was watching me cautiously.
“Sorry,” I said, steering us towards the treeline in the distance. “I guess I’m a little caught up in my thoughts this morning.”
“Do yer… do you regret last night?” he asked. “I wasnae tryin’ to take advantage.”
I shook my head fiercely, and my lips curled into a dreamy smile. I had my share of regrets, but last night was incredible. Well, what I remembered of it.
“N
o. Last night was amazing. You were amazing.”
“Are yer sure? When I woke up this morning and you were gone…”
He trailed off, and I peered up at him. I’d never seen him so unsure of himself before. He seemed so confident in class.
“You’re a worrywart, anyone ever tell you that? It’s kinda sweet.”
“T’ tell yer the truth, I dinnae have all that much experience with girls.”
“Really?” I looked him up and down – seriously, his body was ripped, and the only thing hotter than his face and the shadow of stubble was his accent. “I find that hard to believe.”
He laughed. We were far enough from the castle now that there was no-one around, and we started drifting through the treeline, into the shade of the woods.
“It’s true,” he said. “I, uh, I first shifted when I was just a lad, fifteen.”
I frowned, not really getting the connection between the two.
“Ah, I forget, yer didnae grow up in a pack. When a wolf has his – or her – first shift, they get pulled out of school and fitted with cuffs.”
“Wait, you never finished school?”
He shook his head.
“I finished up my schooling in the pack. It’s a small pack. Hard tae get much… uh… experience when yer related to half the girls yer own age.”
“I’m sorry. That must’ve been rough – getting taken out of school, away from all your friends.”
He shrugged. “That’s just the way it is, lass.”
“Yeah, I’ve been hearing a lot of that recently. I thought I had it bad.”
“It’s for the best. The pack dinnae like us fraternising with mundanes. Better ter keep ter our own kind.”
“Why?” I stopped walking and turned to him.
“For one, there’s the whole lifespan thing. For another, if a shifter loses control around a mundane – you’ve seen what can happen.”
I nodded. Yeah, I was uniquely familiar with how dangerous shifters could be to mundanes.
“Wait, what lifespan thing?”
“Shifters live a lot longer than mundanes – surely yer knew that, lass?”
He cocked his head at me, and I leaned into him. Every time I thought I had a handle on what the hell was happening to me, the rules changed. It wasn’t right. How many changes was I going to have to deal with? How long were the surprises going to keep on coming?
“Jade, lass… are ye crying?”
“No,” I lied, dragging a hand over my eyes. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me against his chest. I stayed there in his embrace, the closest thing to safe I’d felt since this whole damned mess started, until the tears stopped flowing. It took longer than I was proud to admit. I pried my head from his chest.
“I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologise tae me, lass.”
“Still, hardly what you signed up for, right?” I gestured myself up and down. “I don’t normally turn into an emotional wreck the morning after. If you want to forget last night happened, I won’t hold it against you.”
“Not likely,” he said, brushing a lock of hair from my cheek.
“Why?” I hated the way my voice sounded. Small, vulnerable. Weak.
“Yer not like the other lasses.”
I laughed and leaned back, looking up at him.
“I’m not entirely sure that’s a compliment.”
“It is,” he said, leaning down and catching my lips with his. I drank in the kiss, the physical closeness, the intimacy, melting against him until nothing existed but me and him, and the kiss. After a moment he broke away, leaving me wanting more.
“Someone’s coming,” he said.
“Oh, ashamed to be seen with me?” I cocked an eyebrow and grinned.
“I thought you might value yer modesty,” he said. His voice dropped an octave. “And if you keep kissing me like that, I’m gonna take you right here.”
“Then let’s go find someplace more private.”
*
I spent the rest of the weekend forgetting all about Leo, and Dean, and Madison, and long lifespans and being bitten, and every other screwed up rule of my screwed up new world. Cam was a very good distraction.
But I couldn’t hide from the world forever, and after meditation and breakfast – which I couldn’t help but notice Dean spent at Madison’s table – Monday morning found me back in my own personal hell: Shifting 101.
It wouldn’t be so bad if there was anyone left in the class who hadn’t managed to shift on command yet, other than me, of course.
“You’ll get it today,” Mei said, as I shut myself in the cage, and smiled at Cam over her shoulder.
“Don’t hold your breath,” I grumbled. It wasn’t that I objected to being paired with Mei for the entire semester, but she shifted every single lesson. Without fail. Sometimes she even shifted back without any help from Brendon. It was enough to make a gal feel inadequate. Luckily, the cure for that was hot, muscular, and eyeing me from across the room. Hard to feel inadequate for too long when there was a Scottish hunk wanting to spend every spare minute by your side. That sort of thing was definitely good for my ego. Who even cared if I could turn into some dumb wolf?
Next to Cam’s cage was Dean, and my eyes hardened. Madison was shutting him in, and as always, she was all over him, her hands lingering on his arm. I curled my lip. I couldn’t believe he’d fallen for her act. She was using him. It was so blatant that the only thing she cared about was his chance of becoming alpha. But he was just as bad. He only hooked up with her because of who her father was. The whole thing made me sick. Stupid, twisted shifters.
Brendon slid the privacy screen across the room, cutting off my view of them, and of Cam. Probably for the best. If I was going to give this my best shot, then it was better that I wasn’t distracted.
I kicked off my shoes and the rest of my clothes, and sat cross-legged, as I’d watched Mei do every time.
Just focus, Jade. Picture your body becoming the wolf.
I gave it a good sixty seconds before frustration got the better of me. This was useless. I was never going to get the hang of it. I’d been trying every day since I got here, and the only time I’d ever managed to shift was when I didn’t want to.
“Dammit!”
Mei looked startled, and I just shook my head. From the other side of the room, I heard the tinkle of laughter: Madison’s. No doubt she’d heard my frustration. No doubt they all had, but of course she couldn’t pass up a single opportunity to mock me. I bet Dean was laughing at me, too, now that he was all cosied up with her.
I bit down on my lip, clamping my jaw shut and swallowing the stream of curses I wanted to let out. I paced the tiny cell, growling my irritation. I couldn’t deal with this. Not today. I needed to be outside. I needed to be free of this stupid cell in this stupid room, inside this entire stupid academy. I didn’t do a damned thing to deserve this. I had a life, and Leo had no right to take it from me. None!
My legs trembled and my entire body shook with the injustice of it. Why me? What did I ever do to deserve to be cursed? There was no justice in this whole screwed up world, and I deserved justice for what had been done to me. I had damned well earned it!
I collapsed onto my hands and knees with a shout of anger, but it came out as a feral snarl. Hair erupted along my arms and my shoulders burst from their sockets. I let out another cry, half human, half animal, as pain screamed through my body. Bones broke and reformed, joints dislocated, too big for their sockets, and fire burned through my spine as it buckled, twisted, and straightened into a new shape. A more powerful shape.
And then the pain was gone.
I spun around, pacing the confines of the cell on four legs. All the hurt and the pain of the last three months was less than a memory, replaced with white hot anger. My yellow eyes locked onto the pretty Chinese girl watching me from beyond the bars. My lips peeled back from my teeth and a snarl boiled up from the depths of my being. I sunk on my haunches, and threw mysel
f at her.
Chapter Seventeen
“I don’t understand why my shifted form is so aggressive.”
A whole month had passed since I first shifted intentionally, and I’d done it a dozen times since then. And every single time, without fail, my shifted form attacked Mei. I attacked Mei. And Brendon. And anyone else who got close enough. I tried to maim, and to kill, and only the warded bars stopped me from doing it.
Shaun leaned back in his chair with a heavy sigh.
“I wish I had answers for you. No-one knows much about Bittens. The last case was hundreds of years ago.”
“So you think it’s because of how I was turned?” I groaned and rolled my head back to look at the ceiling. “Am I ever going to learn control?”
“For someone who’s recently gained shifter hearing,” Shaun said, and I could hear the amusement in his voice, “you’re not so good at listening. I just said we didn’t have answers. It could be because of how you were turned, it could be that you’re still adjusting. Or it could be that you don’t want to control it.”
“Excuse me?” I jerked my head down and glared at him. “Mei is my friend. How could you possibly think I would ever want to hurt her?”
“I’m not saying you consciously want to hurt her. But you can’t deny you have a lot of anger issues.” He held his hands up in a placating gesture, and continued, “And you have every right. No-one blames you for that. But your shifted form gives you an excuse not to have full control, and maybe part of you wants a way to vent your anger.”
“Maybe I wouldn’t have so much anger if Leo was punished.”
But since he was still at Dragondale, and since the damned druids were still refusing to hand him over, that was looking less and less likely by the day. They’d been negotiating for a month – a whole month – and still they were at a stalemate. Draeven should just take him.
“That’s not the only thing you’re angry about. You’re still not talking to Dean?”
“He’s not talking to me,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. “Anyway, what do you care? I don’t need a chaperone anymore. I still come to these stupid sessions, don’t I?”
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