“It’s fine,” I said. “She can’t help it if she feels threatened by us.”
“You are not a threat to me,” she said through clenched teeth.
“I mean,” I carried on as if she hadn’t spoken, earning myself a warning look from Dean, “it’s natural to be afraid when you discover you’re not as tough as you thought.”
She glared at me, looked at Dean, and then turned her back on us.
“Ignore her,” Tiffany said. “She only beat you by cheating, anyway.”
Victoria murmured something unintelligible, presumably in agreement, and I hid my satisfied smile behind my burger. Madison’s pride must really be hurting if that’s what she was telling everyone.
“I can see you smiling,” Dean said.
“No, you can’t,” I said, through a mouthful of food. Madison shot me a disgusted look and then went back to ignoring me. Honestly, too easy.
A flash of movement at the front of the hall caught my eye, and I gulped the rest of my mouthful down and waved a hand in the air.
“Ryan, over here!”
He spotted me and weaved his way through the crowds of seated students. I couldn’t help but notice there weren’t a whole lot of other students inviting him to sit with them.
“Oh, you must be joking,” Madison said, as Ryan set his tray down at our table. “A leopard and one cur I can just about overlook. But two of you? Not happening. What next, are you going to invite the reptile to eat with us?”
Ryan made to pick up his tray again, and I grabbed his sleeve, stilling him.
“Well, like you said, Madison, us outcasts have to stick together. And for the record, if Kai wants to eat with us, he’s more than welcome. If you don’t want to be seen with us, you know what you can do.”
“Yes, I do. Come on, girls. There’s a bad smell around here and it’s putting me off my food.”
The three of them picked up their plates and left the table. Dean watched them go with a sigh.
“Really, Jade?”
“What?” I shrugged. “Nothing I said wasn’t true. She’s the bigoted one. And bearing in mind that you’re friends with the leopard and the cur, you might want to consider pulling her up on that occasionally.”
“I don’t want to cause any trouble,” Ryan said. “I’ll sit somewhere else.”
“No, you don’t,” I said, tugging down on his sleeve until he sat. “I’d rather your company than hers, trust me.”
Dean cast a look over to where Madison was laughing loudly and shooting pointed looks at our table, and let out a long breath.
“My life was so simple before I met you lot.”
“I think the word you’re looking for is boring,” I said. “And you’re welcome.”
He laughed and nodded.
“Yeah, you might be right. Who wants a peaceful life?”
“Exactly.” I decided to ignore his sarcasm, and Dean decided to change the subject.
“So, Ryan, how are you finding it here?”
Ryan looked up from his food like it was a trick question. After a moment, he shrugged.
“I’m still waiting for someone to teach me how to shift so I can get rid of this thing.”
He tossed a meaningful glance at the training cuff around his wrist. I ignored the bitterness in his voice – because apparently that was today’s theme – and smiled brightly.
“Well, you’re in luck, then.” And here were two sentences I never thought I’d be stringing together. “We got Shifting 101 next.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Right,” Brendon said, as we traipsed through into the shifting lab. “I’ve taken it easy on you so far. This semester, I’ll be expecting more.”
I gulped. If last semester was his idea of taking it easy on us, I was in all kinds of trouble. Even after all our practice, I still couldn’t shift back, and I still tried to attack people every time I shifted. The best I’d managed was the odd moment of feeling like I might not want to completely saturate someone in blood – just gnaw on them a little.
“Now, I know we’re all learning at different rates, and that’s normal. But some of you are ready for a new challenge. Those of you who are ready will begin to work on their self-control. So, today, we will start working outside of cages.”
He must have seen the blood draining from my face so quickly it left me light-headed, because he continued.
“Don’t panic, we won’t all be doing this right away. Get into your pairs, please. Ah, Ryan, yes, I was told you’d be joining us. I will be observing your change myself today. Please find yourself an empty cage, and I’ll be along shortly.”
“More cages?” he said to me, giving the iron bars a hard look. I shrugged, forcing as much nonchalance into my voice as I could.
“Unless you want to maul Brendon – and then who’s going to be left to help you shift?”
He grunted and stepped inside one of the cages. Mei took the cage next to him, as usual volunteering to go first. I had no objections – we both knew that once I changed, I was going to be spending the rest of the lesson trying to change back, and there was no point in tying our cage up for longer than necessary.
Brendon worked his way round, locking and double-checking each of the cages.
“Once you have shifted, those of you who have absolute control will sit at the front of their cages, with one paw, or claw–” he glanced over at Kai, “–on the bars. Your training partner will alert me, and those who I think have sufficient control will be released from their cages. You will walk once – once – around the room, then return to your cage and shift back to your human form. Nothing more. Is that clear?”
A few murmurs of agreement sounded from around the room, and he nodded.
“Then when you’re ready, you may begin.”
I picked up my clipboard, and waited for Brendon to pull the privacy shield across, but it quickly became apparent that he had no intentions of doing so.
“What are you all waiting for?” he asked. “We’re beyond first semester inhibitions – there’s no-one here who can’t shift almost right away now, and we’ll need absolute visibility when you’re moving around the room in your shifted forms.”
I supposed he had a point – but I couldn’t help feeling bad for Ryan, who probably couldn’t shift right away. We’d had months of practice. He’d had a couple of weeks locked in a cage, resisting what he was. It didn’t really compare.
Mei wasted no time turning her back on the room and setting her clothes aside. She sat in her usual manner, and I could hear her take a few deep breaths. I hit the button on the stopwatch, but barely a moment later, the skin on her back rippled, and her spine moved under the surface, cracking and elongating. That phase lasted only a few seconds, and then her skin changed, becoming thicker and darker, and then yellow-gold fur burst through her pores, covering her entire body from head to tail. I glanced down at the stopwatch. Less than thirty seconds. She was getting good at this.
“Nice work,” I told her, jotting down the time on my clipboard. She stretched out and shook herself off, then came and sat in front of the bars. She lifted one paw, licked it in a distinctly feline fashion, then placed it on the metal. I shook my head in amazement. She was so far ahead of me. Seriously. And, unless I was mistaken, the first in the class to have managed it.
Brendon was right next to us, watching Ryan intently. I tried not to look, because I hadn’t heard any screams of pain, so he was probably still human.
“Uh, Brendon,” I said, and he turned to look at me. “Mei is ready.”
He watched the leopard closely for a moment, and Mei swished her tail lazily, holding his eye, and still keeping her paw in place. After a moment, Brendon nodded.
“Excellent control. Now, you have some practice at moving in your shifted form inside the cage, but now I want you to practice a fast walk – do not break into a trot or a run – around the room.”
He inserted his key in the lock and I stepped aside as he pulled the door open. Me
i stepped out, pausing on the threshold to stretch out the full length of her spine. She wasn’t as tall as the wolves, but her body was longer, and she moved with a casual grace that told me she was faster, and more flexible. Brendon watched her closely, one hand resting on the baton at his hip, but she just finished her stretch, and prowled around the room on silent pads. She kept the same pace the entire time, never once seeming to struggle to control the movement of all four legs in her shifted form, nor have to fight to maintain her steady walk. A stab of envy bit at me – there was no way I’d be getting out of my cage today, never mind be able to move with so much control. Everything came easier to the rest of them than to me.
I shook my head, and my bitterness with it. Mei was doing so well because she worked relentlessly. She deserved to succeed.
She finished her lap and came back to us.
“Excellent work, Mei,” Brendon said. She paused for a moment, level with Ryan’s cage, and it took me a moment to realise she was waiting for me to step aside. I guess she didn’t trust her control as much as I did. I moved out of the way so she’d be able to pass me without making contact, but before she had chance to step through the gap, a cry erupted from Ryan’s cage – half human, half beast; half pain, half rage.
Mei skittered sideways, and I twisted to look inside the cage, where Ryan was on all fours, caught in the violent spasms of his change. But his eyes didn’t leave Mei, and his lips were drawn back in a snarl. She darted back inside her cage, and the instructor turned his attention to Ryan.
“Try not to panic, Ryan,” he said. “That’s a perfectly normal reaction to seeing another in their beast form. Don’t resist your change, let it come over you.”
He flung his head back and cried out in pain again. His shoulders burst from their sockets and re-set themselves, broader and heavier. I heard his spine crack and his lips, still human, cried out in pain again.
I jerked my eyes away. It didn’t matter how many times I’d seen it, when we first started learning to shift, the slow, drawn-out process was horrific to watch, and I was glad it didn’t take me that long anymore. I might not be as fast as Mei, but at least my shift only took a few short minutes now. I turned my attention back to the leopard, grabbed my stopwatch, and nodded to her.
She shifted back in less than three minutes, which I suspected was a personal best for her. She was going to ace our exams at the end of the year. I, on the other hand, was probably going to try to eat the examiner.
“Excellent work, Ryan,” Brendon said from beside us. I glanced inside the cage. Ryan had finished his change. At the sound of Brendon’s voice, he spun round clumsily on his four legs, and loosed a long, drawn-out snarl before lunging himself at the bars, snapping his jaws at the instructor. I took a step back away from him, unable to pull my eyes from the spectacle. That must be what I looked like when I lost control. His hackles raised a ridge the length of his spine, and he peeled his lips back to reveal foam was forming between his yellowed fangs. He leapt again, snapping at Brendon’s face behind the bars, so loud I could hear his powerful jaws slamming on empty air. A shiver ran down my spine. It was horrific. Terrifying. I took another step away, no more in control of myself than Ryan was.
His eyes snapped to me. Another snarl worked its way up his throat, but it came out as a quiet rumble. He cocked his head at me, and his lips covered his fangs. I took a step towards him, my eyes fixed on his jet-black face, no longer contorted in fury, that seemed to draw me towards him. An arm shot out, barring my path, and snapping me out of my stupor. I twisted round to its owner – Brendon – who looked from me to the wolf and back again.
“Fascinating,” he said. The sound of his voice – or maybe the sight of his arm blocking my way – raised the hackles on Ryan’s spine again, and he took another snap at the instructor. “Very fascinating. In your cage, please Jade. Let’s continue with the lesson.”
I wasn’t entirely sure having two raging wolves in cages side by side was going to be particularly helpful for the lesson, but he was the instructor. I stepped inside as he thrust his baton through Ryan’s bars, and waited for him to lock me in, and let another of the students out to stroll around the room.
Three of them had completed their laps – some with more elegance and control than others – before I felt my change start to come over me. I’d shifted enough times by now that I knew better than to fight the pain. Instead, I embraced it, welcoming it and the transition it brought with it. A cry slipped from between my lips before I managed to clamp my jaws shut again. Just breathe. The faster the pain came, the faster it would leave again. The faster I would be rid of this weak, human body. The faster I would be in my true form, powerful enough to rend flesh from bone, to destroy all those who tried to cage and control me.
A snarl ripped from my throat, and my limbs moved under me, carrying me in short, deadly strides to the front of the cage. I bared my fangs at Mei as she stared in at me, silently judging me, silently trying to control what I was. I just needed to get out of this cage, and then I could end her. End the tyranny that kept me prisoner.
“Take control of the anger, Jade,” a voice ordered me. Brendon. My eyes narrowed as I caught sight of him, and I peeled my lips back, showing him my lethal fangs, showing him what would happen if he didn’t let me out right now. Blood pounded in my ears, drowning out his words. I didn’t want to take control of the anger. I liked feeling this way. I liked the power that pumped through my veins, and I yearned to taste the hot blood spurting from his neck. I could see the artery throbbing beneath the skin. One snap of my jaws, that was all it would take.
I snapped at him, fighting to jam my jaws through the bars, but the gap was too narrow, and I could taste the silver tainting the bars. I recoiled from its bitter tang and slunk back, snarling and pacing, then lunged for him again.
“Focus, Jade,” he commanded me – but I didn’t take commands. Not from him. Not from anyone. Soon, I would be free of this cage, and I would punish each and every one of them for everything that had gone wrong in my life, every pain and indignity I been forced to endure. I would bathe in their blood, and I would leave a pile of corpses in my wake, testament to my supreme power.
“What’s wrong with her?”
A new voice. My eyes flicked to its source. Ryan. He took a step towards me and I watched him through unblinking eyes. The pounding in my ears quieted, so that I could hear his sharp intake of breath as he stared at me. I stood rooted to the spot, listening to the sounds, and inhaling the scents around me. My senses were far sharper in this form, and I could smell the adrenaline fading from my system, leaving a faint, acrid flavour in the air.
Tension eased from my limbs, and the rumble died away in my throat. My lips covered my fangs, and I took a step forward, cocking my head.
“Well,” Brendon said. “Isn’t that just something?”
Chapter Twenty-Three
After that, my private shifting lessons with Brendon became semi-private. I didn’t mind. It was the strangest thing. Every time I shifted, my aggression and rage were completely unchecked – until I laid eyes on Ryan, and then I’d get some degree of control over myself again.
It was the same for him, he said. And no-one knew why. Not Brendon, not Shaun, not even Blake. And sure as hell not me or Ryan. But every time I shifted around him, I seemed to be able to hold on to my control for longer. I was starting to wonder if there was some way I could sneak him into my exam. I’d managed a full two minutes without trying to murder anyone today. A personal best. I was feeling pretty damned good about myself as we ducked out of the shifting lab. I’d gained that much control in three weeks – more than I’d gained the whole of the last semester. It was Sunday afternoon, and I had no work due in for tomorrow. It was a good day.
I was so caught up in my self-satisfaction that we were deep into the castle’s hallways before I realised the route we were following didn’t lead outside. Or to the common room. Or the dorms. I looked around with a frown.
�
��Hey, where are we going? We told the others we’d meet them out by the woods.”
“We will,” Ryan said. “I just wanted to–” He looked around, then opened a door and beckoned me inside. I followed him into the deserted lecture room warily. “I just want to talk.”
He shut the door.
“You know I’m with Cam, right?” I said, eyeing him nervously.
“Relax, it’s nothing like that. Anyway, you’re not my type.”
“Uh, rude.” I crossed my arms over my chest and arched an eyebrow at him.
“Dean’s more my type.”
“Oh.” I dropped my arms again.
“So, if your fragile ego is back under control…”
“My ego is not–” He fixed me with a raised brow, and I cut off the lie halfway through. “What are we doing sneaking around a lecture room – on a Sunday?”
He shrugged and leaned against the wall.
“It’s the only way to get any privacy round here. Like I said, I need to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“About them.”
“Uh, them who?”
“The others.”
“Are you planning to make sense any time today?” I frowned, and he pushed himself off the wall.
“You must know about them.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Let’s say I don’t.”
“Wait, you don’t know about the other Bittens?”
I put my hand on the back of a chair for support and blinked rapidly, trying to clear the fog that had descended over my mind.
“What… what other Bittens?”
“You never heard them in the dungeon?”
I gritted my teeth and clenched my hands around the back of the chair, feeling my fingers digging grooves into the soft wood.
“I think it’s pretty damned obvious I didn’t, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” I snapped.
“Alright, alright.” He held his hands up, then ran one through his hair. “I’m sure that’s what they are. I mean, what else could they be, right?”
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