by M K Lansbury
That’s what Ally had said in Montauk when she offered Zara the position of her partner at Soul Mate. It came back to haunt her. Zara completely lost track of what she was reading in the report.
“I . . . uhh. And I’ve called . . . we have a conference meeting scheduled with the marketing firm in two days. No . . . three days. Actually, wait. No, this is next week.” Zara grabbed her glass of water and took a desperate sip. Her hands shook. “We also have to make funeral arrangements for the launch.”
“What arrangements?” Chet was looking at her like she’d grown horns.
“What did I say?” Zara paled. Chet, Beata, and Ally were looking at her weirdly.
Chet leaned over the table. “Are you okay? You’re starting to sound like me.”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Zara smiled, feeling like she was going to puke.
Ally touched Zara’s forearm. “Have you had anything to eat, Zara?”
“What?”
The guilt on Ally’s face made Zara want to sob.
“What are you guys going on about?”
Chet chortled. “You said we have to make funeral arrangements for the launch.”
“What?”
Everyone burst out laughing, and Zara couldn’t help but join in. “I’m not overworked, guys. I think it’s because I'm planning an anniversary party on the side. I'm going looney keeping track of the band and the guest list and the seating arrangements.”
Ally nodded, and Zara caught her giving a strange look to Beata.
They thought she was crumbling under the pressure. She wasn’t. It was the guilt.
But you have done nothing wrong. You’re beating yourself up about it.
Lance was the reason behind all the drama. He was the only reason why Zara had to keep secrets from Ally. She took full responsibility for her behavior, but she couldn't find an excuse for it.
As Beata and Ally launched into a brainstorming session for ideas that would propel Soul Mate into a social media trending success, Zara stared at her laptop. Not really seeing anything.
Am I being a bad friend?
Yes.
But I didn’t do anything.
Since she couldn’t share the truth with Ally without breaking her heart, that was proof enough that she was in the wrong. Ally came first. Yet, she kept seeing Lance and fostering a friendship that would never culminate into anything more.
I need to end it. I can’t do this to Ally.
She repeated this to herself over and over, chanting in her head so it would be engraved on her brain and her heart.
I need to end it. I can’t do this to Ally.
THIRTEEN
Dance with Me, In the Rain
Zara didn’t know what to do.
It was early Saturday morning, the first Saturday morning in two months that Zara wasn’t in the office. In fact, she was taking the entire day, the first time since agreeing to Ally’s offer to join Soul Mate.
Ally paced her tiny apartment, trying to devise a plan for the day. Laundry, definitely. Groceries, probably. Perhaps catching up on the new Netflix show that everyone was talking about? Oh, and let’s not forget about prep for her parent’s anniversary party. But first . . . She grabbed a book off the shelf in the living room and stepped onto the small balcony that overlooked the alley behind her apartment building. It was the only bit of outdoor space she had, and she’d dressed it the best she could.
It was her safe spot. Her favorite Green Mountain Boxwood stood three feet tall in four flower pots next to the railing. The plants flowered in spring, but she loved the full green foliage all year round. Two comfortable Beachwood chairs faced the view—which was basically just the sidewall of the apartment building next door. The small table she used for her tea and coffee had broken a leg two months ago and had never been replaced. It lay in a twisted heap in the corner behind her chair.
That’s what she should do today. Swing by Ikea in Red Hook to replace the table. Yeah, that could be fun. Perhaps even grab some of those meatballs. She mentally began putting together a list of other items to pick up when she saw a neighbor in the building across the street.
She sometimes felt like a creep for it, but her favorite pastime was watching the windows of other apartments. A glimpse into their lives. Little kids piled on top of their dad on a small sectional, enjoying the family’s day off. College kids studying. Two similar-looking teenagers with messy, long hair playing the Wii in the living room while their mom hovered nearby, delivering plates of breakfast.
It calmed her. It always had.
Zara really needed it that weekend. There was a never-ending storm of questions billowing in her mind. Mostly accusatory questions directed toward herself. She needed to get it together.
Sitting in one of the Beachwood chairs, she placed her bare feet onto the railing and opened the book. She’d wanted to read it ever since it was delivered three months ago, but too much was happening: first with Stewart's betrayal, and then with Soul Mate’s hustle.
Sighing, Zara reread the first paragraph.
She considered calling Ally and meeting her to spill the beans. Ally had worked so hard for so long. She was already cracking under the stress of Soul Mate launching in a little over a week. Zara didn’t want to add to it. But she also didn’t want to keep Ally in the dark.
Forcing her mind to focus on the book, she tried once again to make sense of the first paragraph. But her brain was a loud place.
There’s nothing to tell her. I’m not going to see Lance again, and the whole Tech Talks blog thing won’t happen again.
Zara considered going inside to make herself a cup of tea but was too lazy to move. She put the book onto the empty chair and focused on the teens playing Wii.
Minutes later, her phone rang shrilly, splitting the silence. Zara glanced at the screen and threw the phone onto the book as if she’d accidentally grabbed a snake.
Lance.
She needed to wean herself off this man. But it was not easy when he continued to be around wherever she was, always in touch, always charming and sweet and oh so wonderful.
Groaning in frustrated helplessness, she picked up the phone and pressed it to her ear. “Lance?”
“Hey, Zara. What you up to?”
“Who is this?” She smiled, teasing him.
“Sam. I’m a luxury goods consultant.” He paused for something other than the comedic effect. “Wanna get together?”
I should say no, but I wanna say yes. Say no, Zara!
Belatedly, she realized that his tone wasn’t the usual uplifting, happy self. She wanted to ask him about it; she wanted to help. But convinced herself quickly that she was probably imagining it. She had to do what she had to for Ally.
“I'm sorry, but I’ve got plans today. “
Staring at those kids playing Wii all night.
“Oh.” He sighed at the other end. “That’s okay. Maybe tomorrow.”
There was no denying it this time. He sounded like he was dealing with something, almost as if he was in trouble.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
Zara could tell that something was off. Her heart twisted at the mere thought. “You know what? Why not? Let’s meet up.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Great. How about I pick you up? Text me your address.”
Zara considered that. This was the next step in the ultimate betrayal to Ally: having Lance know where she lived.
Oh, whatever. You just need to ensure nothing happens like the last time.
Keep an arm’s length distance from him at all times.
Not like he’ll pounce on you.
“Sure thing. I’ll do that. Give me twenty minutes.”
“I’ll be there in twenty.”
Exactly twenty minutes later, Zara was heading out of the lobby of her small apartment building wearing jeans and a plain white t-shirt. She spotte
d the massive black SUV before Lance stepped out of the back and smiled at her. Instantly, Zara realized two things.
One, it was a little too chilly than she had anticipated, and her outfit choice was a fail.
Two, Lance didn’t look like himself. He looked like he had something on his mind. His eyes troubled and dark. She also noticed a hint of shadows beneath his eyes. There was definitely something going on. It was extremely poignant that he’d called her when something was bothering him. As if he needed her.
Don’t flatter yourself.
Zara hugged him briefly and slid into his car.
“Where we going?” She tried not to ask if something was wrong. Didn’t want to ambush him. If he wanted to talk about whatever it was that was bothering him, he would. Zara wasn’t in favor of pushing people to talk about their feelings. She believed in just being there and available. That was a much better approach than forcing someone to count on you.
“I was thinking Storm King? Check out the sculptures?”
“What’s Storm King?”
“You’ve never heard of Storm King?”
“I guess not. Is it some sort of Game of Thrones thing?”
“You’re gonna love it. It’s a huge field upstate that has some of the most unique sculptures you’ll ever see. It’s so beautiful. Trust me.”
“Okay, but if I don’t love it, you’re gonna owe me.”
“You’ll love it.”
***
“It’s called Free Ride Home.”
Zara smiled as she ogled the beautiful sculpture. “I love it. Can’t believe I’ve never been here before.”
The lush green grass crunched softly beneath her white ballet pumps. The expansive fields seemed endless, and the Schunemunk Mountain was the perfect backdrop to this park of stunning sculptures. Zara was still in a state of shock that she hadn’t been here before. It was barely an hour’s drive north of the city, and Zara knew she wanted to bring Ally to this wonder as soon as Soul Mate launched successfully.
Lance had brought Zara to the North Woods. The silence, paired with the picturesque, lush green grass and trees, made a comforting calmness seep through her.
Clouds drifted over the sun once again, shadowing the park in a dull gray. Like it had countless times before, the clouds would soon move on and once again spill yellow, cheery light all over the works of art.
Zara got goosebumps as a gush of wind rustled the branches of the trees, making them look like they were swaying in unison.
“This place is so peaceful. Beautiful.”
“I come here often. It’s one of the few places in New York that lacks the unending hustle and rush that cramps our lives.”
“I get what you mean.” Zara looked up at the clouds. They still shielded the sun and blocked direct sunlight. “I love this kind of weather. It’s almost like it’s gonna rain but won’t.”
“It might. We should head back.”
Zara laughed out loud. “I don’t mind getting caught in the rain. It’s something I’ve always loved.”
He gaped at her as if she had grown horns.
Zara paused. “What?”
“Getting caught in actual rain? On purpose?”
She chuckled. “Of course.”
“You’re making that up. No one loves getting caught in the rain.”
Zara was genuinely confused. “I do.”
“I thought that was just crazy stuff you do in the movies.”
“Of course not.” Her heart clenched painfully. The confusion on his face was very real. How strange would it have been if her childhood hadn’t consisted of dancing in the rain, getting mud in her toes while jumping in the puddles, and splashing in them with her bare hands?
But then she thought about his upbringing. How lonely would it have been to have only your servants as friends? And your parents bickering and fighting and losing their fortune and their love for one another?
Her heart broke for him.
“No, we actually do it. I mean, I do it. Ally and I used to run out as soon the first drop of rain hit the ground.”
“I don’t understand.” He stopped, facing her. “Did your parents not supervise you? Did they leave you home alone?”
Zara’s brows snapped together. He really wasn’t getting it. “No. My mom would announce that it’s raining and tell us to hurry and go out before it stopped.”
“Really?”
Zara chuckled at the look of pure horror on his face.
“And you didn’t fall sick?”
“I mean . . .” She shrugged as she continued to walk toward the next sculpture. “Sometimes. But we also got sick when we didn’t dance in the rain. So why miss out?”
He still looked very confused. “Must’ve been fun.”
“It was.”
As they made their way toward the next sculpture, Zara’s hand brushed his forearm. A shiver traveled up her hand to her chest, and her heart skipped a beat. Something about the stunning surroundings and the divulgence of details regarding their personal lives made Zara momentarily emotional.
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am about the article, Zara.”
Zara quickly turned to face him. “It’s not your fault.”
“Actually, it is.”
Zara opened her mouth to ask why but shut it when she saw that he clearly meant it.
“Full disclosure now, because you’re getting drawn into this crazy drama with Kassandra Young.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Kassandra is my ex.”
“Oh.” That was a punch in the gut.
Stunning, ebony-gold-skinned Kassandra with the flowy brown hair. She was so beautiful Zara’s eyes hurt. She couldn't help but feel a little jealous. “Okay.”
He turned to face her, his brows furrowed over intuitive eyes. “That’s it?”
Zara swallowed. “I’m trying to connect the dots here. Is that why she’s publishing the pack of lies about Soul Mate? Because she’s angry at you?”
“I’m honestly not sure what she wants from me now. It’s been a year and a half since we broke up.”
“Is this why you broke up? She did stuff like this?”
He shook his head, and his eyes squinted as the clouds shifted off the sun, letting bright rays through. “It was never a serious relationship. We had fun, and she’s an incredibly smart woman, but I . . . I didn’t feel the connection I was looking for. And she was jealous, yes. This one time, she walked into my office in the middle of a meeting I had with a potential advertiser. The woman had traveled from London to see me, and she was heading the Australia and New Zealand division of a reputed sports apparel manufacturer.”
“She just barged in?”
“Yep. One second, I'm finalizing some details with the advertiser. The next second, I see Kassandra completely lose her cool and started sharing all the dirt she had found on the woman. I obviously lost the business, and it made me realize what Kassandra was actually like.”
“And during the last year and a half, has she done anything to get back at you?”
“This whole . . . whatever you call it . . . has been going on for a while. Kassandra tends to find ways to mess things up for me in my personal life. I'm not sure how she found out that you visited the Finder offices, but I'm looking into it. There had to be something or someone that tipped her off.”
“Maybe she’s got a hidden nanny cam somewhere in there.”
He chuckled. “I wouldn't put that past her, to be honest. I'm sorry you and Soul Mate got dragged into this. I know how it might make your company look like it’s not ready to be launched. And I really sympathize with you . . .” He chuckled shortly, and it didn’t sound like a happy sound at all. “. . . Because my life is super stressed at the moment, and I’d hate if some new drama got riled up. All because someone spotted me somewhere and decided to blow the whole thing out of proportion.”
Zara placed a hand on his upper arm and
couldn’t help but feel the hard muscles bulging in there. She held his gaze. “What’s stressing you out so much?”
He sighed and looked over her shoulder at Mother Peace. “You’re really lucky. You’ve got Ally. But me? I don’t have anyone like that.” He grinned. “I'm the CEO, and my co-founder Rick Ulster makes sure I have to keep an eye out at all times.”
“Keep an eye out for what?”
“You know . . . a knife in my back.” He laughed.
“What’s he trying to do now?”
“Oh, you know, get rid of me.”
“You?” Zara couldn’t believe it. “That doesn’t make any sense. How could the board get rid of you?”
“As much as it pains me to admit it, there's a whole lot of office politics and games happening right under my nose for the last year. And it’s too complicated. The board is pushing to have Finder go public next year, but the latest profit figures are starting to worry them. To be honest, not to sound like I'm blaming you for it, but Soul Mate’s rising numbers are actually making them worry.”
Zara felt a little twinge of affection toward him. She was an indirect cause of his stress, yet he’d decided to call and meet her to unburden himself.
Zara crossed her arms across her chest, looking at him dead in the eyes. His face, usually so confident and invincible, was full of doubts. She conjured up a world where she could clutch the sides of his face and smooth that tension off his jawline, soothe the warmth back into him. But she couldn’t do that. Not in this life.
“Maybe I don’t know the full details about the situation with Ulster, but I know this. No person or board member in their right mind would take someone like Lance Chase off the steering wheel and pop Ulster in his place. Unless they want to go ‘public’ with news that they’re filing for bankruptcy.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“Well, I am.”
The hint of self-doubt on Lance’s face had no place being there. But it was there. It made Lance Chase seem more real than ever before. He was like her in many ways, confident, determined, but also always aware that nothing was invincible, and caution was integral to success.
“Because I know you.” She couldn't help it. She stroked his arm and stepped slightly closer to him, tilting her head back to meet his eyes. “You're a man with credibility and respect. Your employees respect you and adore you. They follow you wherever you lead them. Of what I’ve read about Rick Ulster, that’s not the kind of man any decent person would willingly follow.”
